Disclaimer: i own nothing. (Except Pannick!)

It was all a blur as he rushed her to the Bio-ship. He carried her gingerly, repeating the last things he'd said to her all those years ago in his mind. I hate you he repeated, I hate you.

And she'd said it too. Feverishly, seeing as the two of them had been in the process of tearing each others clothes off, but the sharp tone underneath it had been unmistakable. She meant it when she'd said it. In his heart, he could feel that he'd meant it as well.

But now it was all behind him. Everything was blank. The monitor in front of him was all that mattered as the heart monitor went erratic along with her heart. Syringes lay forgotten beside her on a silver tray along with bloodied scalpels and bandages.

Kaldur had pushed him out of the way, catching his eye only to glare at him. Wally had insisted, with the gruff agreement of Robin, that they could not take her to a hospital, where surely everything would be blown to bits within moments. He regretted it as more teammates flew in, watching in numb horror as she thrashed, her eyes jerking open momentarily to flash bright pink before slamming closed in a meek attempt to block out the pain.

Jinx started screaming soon after, a scream that seemed to tear his mind in two. All that mattered was protecting her, which Robin seemed to understand as he pushed the speedster away. Pannick! had a certain chemical component, not unlike Scarecrows' fear gas, that he hid in bullets that could lay in hiding in the bloodstream for months until it came into effect, and the effects weren't pretty. Painful and horrific hallucinations would follow that could last for hours on end.

Numbly, he sat down when ordered to, averting his eyes so he wouldn't see the pitying, or condescending, looks he got from his teammates. And he sat there the rest of the ride, squeezing his eyes closed in pain as he tried in vain to block out her cries. He knew that she wouldn't remember anything, but he would. He would replay this moment forever.

The skies grew lighter as they flew, the bright skies looking cheerful and harmless. But in Wally's numb mind, they still looked grey, like it was about to rain. He knew that it was all his imagination because he could feel the sun through the windshield, but he welcomed the dark atmosphere he'd created. It made him feel slightly more protected.

Why? Because every rainy day, when he was younger and still a Titan, he and Jinx would sit inside after their patrols and watch a movie, normally a corny romantic comedy which Jinx would mock and Wally would defend. Then, if the sun still hadn't come out they'd normally make hot chocolate or popcorn and sit and watch reruns of old television shows that no one would even understand unless you explained it to them.

And, if wind came with the rain, he'd actually have an excuse other than 'because I love you' to hold her. It was one of her most irrational fears, but it was one of Wally's favourite. Because when it got really windy she'd hide in his chest until it was over.

"Wally?" Kaldur asked. Had they really gotten back already? Wally looked over to his leader, noticing how the Atlantean was blocking his view perfectly. "I would like to talk with you."

"Sorry Kal, but I'm really tired-" a hand on his shoulder stopped him from walking away.

"I was not suggesting." Kaldur said. "Wally, what you did back there was… not what I'd expect from you. You are not a vigilante, not someone who kills the villains, but someone who simply apprehends them. What you did today was not acceptable."

Wally hung his head, nodding slowly. His leader sighed and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. Once he left, Wally shuffled out of the bio ship, careful to once again avert his eyes from the careful glances he was getting.

"Wally, it's not your fault." The red-head snapped straight, staring his best friend in the eyes with a look of shock. Robin no longer had the look of a carefree teen, but the stoic leader he'd once known. "We left, sure, but she was there on her own accord."

"Yeah, but if we hadn't left then she'd still be with me. We'd be in Keystone right now, probably eating at Nicky's, or maybe seeing a movie." Wally sighed. "I really messed up didn't I?"

Robin didn't answer, only nodded. Wally knew what, or rather who, his friend was thinking about. Starfire. She was the one that he'd left behind, although it hadn't quite been as traumatizing as Jinx and Wally's separation, it was still heartbreaking to listen to Robin explain it.

"Do you think she was with her?" the smaller boy asked. They felt like outcasts, straying farther and farther from the group of buzzing heroes, letting themselves get lost in the winding hallways of Mount Justice. "Starfire, I mean?"

"Nah dude, Star was way too…" he couldn't think of a word to describe the Tamaranian princess. "She wouldn't get involved in that kind of stuff."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" he muttered. "so, were you really going to shoot him?"

"Yeah, maybe." Wally shuffled his feet, turning a corner blindly. "I mean, at that moment, I felt as though I could just put a bullet in his head and it would all be over. That if I did that then she would wake up and it would be one of those cheesy movie scenes where she'd wake up and then you kiss and then the credits fade over top and you ride off into the sunset."

"Wow, you really like The Princess Bride, don't you?" Robin laughed, his two conflicting personalities merging. He was like night and day wrapped up into one. One half of him inviting and warm, a time for you to be awake and laugh, but the other half was cold and dark, with creatures from your imagination threatening to lunge at you from the corners where you couldn't see them.

"Yeah, I'm a sucker for stupid fight scenes and torture chambers." Wally agreed. Turning again, they found themselves in the main room, standing in a corridor close to the zeta tubes.

"are you ready to face The Team?" Robin asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be." They offered each other smiles before turning towards the infirmary and trudging on with heavy feet.

~S~

"Wally, did I just hear him correctly?" Barry tilted his head. He stood beside Jinx, the girl that he'd seen as a daughter the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

When they'd first met she'd seemed so guarded, hiding behind a mask of harsh memories. But after a while, she'd slowly started opening up to him. He'd talked only so many times with her before Batman had told him the news. The sidekicks were being offered an opportunity to help, possibly join, the league. At first, Barry was excited for his nephew, and neither of them realized what it truly meant.

Jinx had become a third wheel, slinking slowly into the darkness until she couldn't be seen. And as Wally spent more and more nights away with his mentor and family, Jinx began spending more and more nights on her own, saving money, and eventually moving out.

Wally had taken the news like he would a brick to the face. He turned into something Barry hoped he would never see in his nephew. Wally searched high and low for that girl until he found her and then finally broke. From what he'd been told, after many questions and lots of grovelling, (on Wally's part) it had all ended in a screaming fight. Wally had appeared the next morning at Barry's front door, his eye puffy and hands balled into fists. It was official. They were over.

It took Barry and Iris almost two weeks to get him to stop shaking until they finally convinced him to sell his apartment and move back in with his parents. Poor Wally, what a hit he'd taken. Blow after blow, first to his heart, and then his dignity. But he'd complied, and after so much training and forgetting, he still hadn't made it to their level. Barry was sure that Wally had wanted to punch his face in when he said that, but thankfully he hadn't.

"Yeah, you did." Wally said, ducking his head. "it's just…"

"Don't try to explain." Barry said. They sat there in silence, both trying to form a coherent sentence that didn't involve snapping at the other.

"Can we go home now?" Wally finally asked. His voice cracked and he seemed to be but a shadow of what he used to be.

"Of course…" Barry said. "Let's go home."

And the plot thickens 0,o

Anyway, Nicky's is an actual diner in Blaine, Wa that my mom and i go to all the time. It's Ninety's themed (or is it Sixties?) with the Beatles songs playing all the time and a wonderful atmosphere. it's also covered in British paraphernalia and they make some of the best fish burgers and chicken 'n' chips. If you ever find yourself in Blaine, you should try them out. There's only one waitress and she's impossible to not get along with =)