A/N: OH. MY. GOD. I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO FREAKING LONG!

Remember when I said I would update every Sunday, though not reliable? Well guess what? I'm definitely not reliable!

Again, so so sorry, but here's chapter 4! I hope you enjoy! And once again, thank you so much for reading!

Chapter 4:

"I-" Blaine's voice breaks slightly, he coughs, smiles faintly as he looks into Kurt's eyes and takes a sip of his coffee as just an excuse for extending the silence. C'mon, Blaine! The least he deserves is the truth! He's looking at Kurt's beautiful, sapphire blue eyes, and that only brings back memories, all at once, of all the times he could remember looking into his eyes. Yet one in particular is the one stuck in his mind.

It was after their first performance of "West Side Story" back in McKinley. It was their first time. He remembers the words as if it was yesterday… always has and always will: "I want to go to your house".

He would be lying if their first time sleeping together (well, at least that way) wasn't uncomfortable at the beginning. But as breathes melted sweetly into the hot air and their heat mixed together, and their bodies became one only, it was the most beautiful unimaginable feeling in the world.

But this wasn't even the memory Blaine had in mind. It was the one after that, when they lay in bed, facing each other - Blaine's hand stoking carefully up Kurt's arm, from his fingertips, to his wrist, to elbow, to his shoulder, and down again – staring into one another's eyes. Kurt's shining with ecstasy, Blaine's heavy with exhaustion, yet he couldn't bring himself to close them just yet… he had to keep looking into those eyes for a little while longer.

But there is only just how long a sip of coffee can last, and he has to speak again. He sets the cup of coffee down again, back where the dark liquid has left a brown circle on the plate. He takes a deep breathe, confident enough now to start talking.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to…" Kurt says, softly. The truth he was dying to know. The questions – so many questions right know - he had not only from the time he saw Blaine in front of his car, but since he'd gone missing. So many questions he'd been dying to ask to someone else but himself and the empty grave he visited. Yes, he had many questions to ask right now, but if he put himself in Blaine's position, he guessed it was difficult, so he allowed himself to give Blaine some time.

"No it's-" Blaine took yet another deep breathe. "It's okay". Kurt nodded slightly, giving Blaine a small smile. Blaine grabbed his cup of coffee, but didn't lift it up. He looked down at it. The warmth that travelled from the cup to his hands and through his body seemed to be giving him just a little bit of confidence in himself to start talking. "One of the last times I wrote you, I told you we were going… going there" He couldn't bring himself to say the name, it would just bring memories, and right now memories were bad, he was sure. Blaine didn't need to say exactly where they went, though… Kurt would have that name engraved in his mind forever, given what "happened" there. "And we did go. There, I kept writing to you, every chance I got. We were winning, we- we were but then-" Blaine found it to be harder than he thought to say this. His eyes were beginning to tear up a little bit. Do not cry, Blaine. Don't you dare cry. Another deep inhale. He clenched his jaw and begun again, "Apparently, they had a secret attack no one had expected or knew how to response, really… They- it was horrible, Kurt…" Blaine frowns. "They kept us up at night, we were restless over the morning – I don't think nobody got more than three hours of sleep each night. They hid so freaking well, we could never find a basecamp or just… something… it was so frustrating! There was no way to recognize one of them from a normal civilian – they wore the same clothes on purpose…" By this point tears were forming in his eyes more quickly by the second. He wanted to look up at Kurt, look at him and gain some more courage to continue, but at the same time part of him knew that if he looked up, he would be devastated by the sight – Kurt was crying too, he could hear the sniffling and the shuddering breathes. He thought of taking another sip of coffee, but he couldn't do that without having to raise his gaze.

"Blaine…" A whisper

Blaine shook his head a little and gripped his cup tighter - if possible – and kept going. "One day, we were at our camp and these – these people come towards us, asking for help… all were scared, most were crying… God, there were children among them, Kurt, children!" He lets out a shaky exhale and then a calming breath-in to calm himself a bit. "So some of the guys go with them – most were out of the basecamp by then as well. We must have been about seven in there when- when fifteen men or so barged in and took all of us hostages…" Blaine risked it and lifted his gaze at Kurt who had now tears running freely down his cheeks.

"But- but the letter sa-" Kurt whispered, but stopped when his voice broke.

Blaine shook his head. "They were smart… they shot five soldiers right then and there and- and then as the rest of us were being dragged out of there, they blew the basecamp completely… not a trail of nothing but ashes and metals left… but they made sure to leave some of the bodies intact, so it would- it would seem as if we've all died in there…" Blaine looks down at his hands that he hadn't realized were shaking until now, and then he looks up again. "It was all an act… those people who came for help… they were helping them, they- they created a commotion…" He took an encouraging sip of his coffee, hoping he would gain strength, but it didn't do anything but make him nauseous, so he settled the cup back where it was. "It was so horrible, Kurt… they took all of us to their basecamps… beat the crap out of most of us… it was awful. And the days went by, then weeks, and months, and before any of us could realise, years had gone by. They went insufferably slow, to be honest… not everyone got out of there… two died of exhaustion, the rest of us got to scape when the army found out about us and came to get us out." A small silence followed before Blaine sniffed quickly and continued, "of course the letter would say "die in combat"… that was, after all, what it looked like… nobody would have guessed that we could have possibly gotten out of there alive…" Blaine looks at Kurt's eyes, which are filled with tears by now but it's clear he is trying to hide his emotions, to give Blaine some sort of comfort about the story. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you before appearing at your house… I- I should have-"I should have called first, he means to say, but without warning his voice breaks and he can't hold it inside anymore. The next thing he is aware of is Kurt standing from his seat, to go seat next to him, and putting both arms around his shoulders, letting him hide his face on the crook of Kurt's neck and cry. Kurt tightens his grip when Blaine starts shocking slightly violently from his sobs.

"Hey Blaine, it's okay, honey… shhh… it's gonna be okay… shhh… it's all over now… shhh" Kurt whispers against Blaine's ear and rubs a hand up and down his back.

Blaine has gone limp in his arms, and the whole fifteen minutes that it takes for him so still his breaths and stop crying, Kurt doesn't let go of him.

Even after that, when Blaine has already calmed down, neither of them moves, and Kurt's hand goes from Blaine's back to his hair. A silence settles between them and it's neither uncomfortable nor comfortable. For a few minutes, Kurt just keeps running his fingers through Blaine's hair, and places a small kiss on Blaine's temple, leaving his lips resting there, as he repeats once again in another whisper to break the silence, "it's gonna be okay…"

A/N: AASDFGHJKL Thank you again for reading this! It means a lot to me! :)

Please leave reviews with ideas if you want, I'll maybe consider them :)

I guess that's it… sorry again for how long it took lol I'll try to update it sooner for chapter 5 :)