Sam laughed. Diane thought that he was the father of Carla's boy, Gino? That was the funniest thing in the world to him, and there was no way he was going to let her live that one down.

"Say, Diane? Father's day is coming up. Do you think I should expect a visit from my son?"

She stared at him. "That's not funny."

"Maybe we can go out for a little father-son bonding. You know what? Maybe I'll even take him fishing!"

"Listen, buddy, if you think that this is cute or charming, you're wrong. I made a mistake. I admit it. Now can we please drop it?"

"I could…if I wanted to. As it is I think I'll get out the golf clubs, treat 'my son' to a day at the course!"

If looks could kill, Sam would have been dead a hundred times over. "Make your little jokes at my expense. I don't care. It's only by some miracle that you haven't been in this situation before. I would not be surprised if there were a hundred little Sam Malones running around, as nauseated as the thought makes me."

"Hey- I'm careful. Don't wish that stuff on me either. I wouldn't wish anything bad on you. I take that back. I hope a house drops from the sky and that it lands right on your smug little self," Sam declared.

"Oh, a cultural reference. I'm impressed. What's next, you're going to tell me you read the newspaper every day?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"What, for the funnies?"

"Don't knock them unless you try them. You know, a sense of humor would help you go a lot further in life."

"I have a sense of humor. I find your particular hairstyle quite amusing."

Sam ran his hands through his hair instinctively. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing that a real stylist couldn't fix. Would you like the number of mine?"

Now he was mad. How dare she criticize his hair, his pride and joy? Who did she think she was? "I'll have you know my stylist is the most high priced one in Boston. I take very good care of myself. You just have no taste."

"I have taste all right, which is why I rebuff every one of your advances."

"I wouldn't come on to you unless you were the last woman on earth. Even then, you'd have to put a paper bag over your head."

"Is that the same paper bag you use after stepping out of the salon?"

He'd never hit a woman before, but who was he to say there wouldn't be a first time. She was making him angry, too angry to think about anything but this woman in front of him. She was so wrong about him. Just because he'd had a little fun at her expense, who did she think she was to criticize him?

He stood perilously close to her, to where he could almost hear how fast her heart was racing. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pop you one?"

"Because if you're aim is as good as your fastball, I know that I would have nothing to worry about," she laughed.

"Ohhh! You are the most stubborn, the rudest, most childish person I have ever met, do you know that?"

"I know you are but what am I?"

He smacked his forehead. Better him then her, he'd decided. "You know what your problem is?"

"I work for a baboon?"

"Will you shut your trap for a minute and let me finish? Your problem is you're so unhappy with your own life you look for ways to make others miserable. And let me tell you, it's working. I'm miserable when I'm with you, you know that?"

Diane started to pout, and her eyes began to water. "Sam…I had no idea you felt that way about me. I never intended to …I never meant for this to happen." She started to rub her eyes.

"Oh, Diane, you don't make me miserable. I'm sorry. Don't cry. Come here," he pulled her close to him.

She looked at him, and before she knew it he was leaning in, and she knew what that meant. She had him!

"Ha! You want me. You want to kiss me," she taunted as she pulled back, laughing.

"No I don't. That's not fair, you know that? Guess what I'm thinking now," he challenged as he began to chase her around the office.

"I'm thinking that if you don't tie your shoelace you're going to trip and kill yourself."

He looked down, and she laughed even louder than before. "You know, Malone, you really are a piece of work. Getting you is like taking candy from a baby," she laughed before exiting his office.

That damn Diane, he thought bitterly. She was the most spiteful, most childish, most irritating person he'd ever met. And he knew more than ever that he had to make her his.

TBC