((Alright, here's a new Behind the Scenes chapter, courtesy of yours truly. This one concerns Darkest Hour and pokes fun at Optimus's tendency to die and come back to life in pretty much every series of Transformers ever. Also, the extra was suggested by a reviewer, who's name evades me tonight...but don't worry, I'll give you complete credit for it. Please, remember to suggest which chapter I should do next, and keep tuning in to see how they screw up next.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. At all. Ever.))

DARKEST HOUR

*Warning: lots of Optimus Prime abuse. Read at your own risk.*

"If I doom the Autobot cause on Cybertron, so be it. But I will never forsake our human allies," Optimus decided, moving to stab the Star Saber into the ground. However, he came up a bit short, and screamed as the Star Saber cut his left foot in half.

"Ooh," Megatron winced. "That's gotta hurt." Optimus had dropped to the ground, a string of intermixed sobs and curses coming out of his mouth as he clutched his foot.

"Why can't I work with professionals?" the director groaned. "I'm sure Michael Bay doesn't have these problems."

"Wanna bet?" Megatron muttered.

Optimus ran forward, preparing to sever Megatron's arm from his body. He, however, tripped, and stumbled forward. He ended up impaling himself on the Dark Star Saber, dropping to his knees.

"Seriously, man, are you trying to tempt fate?" Megatron asked with a crooked smile.

"Don't…start," Optimus coughed. "Help…"

Optimus's next move was to block Starscream's missile. He raised the Star Saber to deflect the missile, but it exploded in his face, knocking him on his back.

"Ow," Prime whimpered.

"Jinx," Megatron chimed. "Don't let him near me, I don't wanna die."

"Shut up,"

"Will someone please help Prime up?" the director shouted.

"Our opportunity to revive Cybertron has been lost, due to the treachery of Optimus Prime," Megatron announced to his troops from atop the warship. "But from our fortress of New Kaon, we will instead seize control of THIS world! Decepticons! Transform and roll out!"

The Seekers stared at him blankly. "I just screwed up my line, didn't I?" Megatron realized.

"We don't have wheels, idiot," Starscream snapped.

"Shut up Starscream,"

"It was a good G1 reference," the director said. "Alright, let's try this again."

June was driving near the siege of Omega-1, when the Vehicon landed in front of her car. He pointed his gun at the windshield.

"Hasta la vista, baby," he drawled in a really bad Ahnold accent. "You just got terminated."

"Steve!"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," the Vehicon shrugged.

"Epic fail!" another Vehicon chimed from offstage.

"Shuddup Greg!"

"Oh, I don't think so," Optimus shook his head, arms folded across his chest. "There's no fragging way I'm doing this."

"C'mon Optimus, it won't be that bad," the director assured him.

"You are asking me to purposefully get blown up in this big-aft explosion that will more than likely kill me," Optimus pointed out, "and I don't even get a stunt double. That is cheap. So, so cheap."

"Just suck it up and deal with it," the director scowled, "or you can forget about this week's paycheck."

"Fine," Prime muttered, stomping into the base.

"And action!"

Take One

Optimus raised the Star Saber, preparing to strike down on the Ground Bridge controls, while the Decepticon warship hovered overhead. His optics shifted, before he dropped the Star Saber and ran for the exit, shouting, "Every 'bot for himself!"

The director groaned. "Cut."

Take Two

Optimus was back into position after a firm speech from the director about taking his job seriously which ended with him threatening the Prime with Ratchet reformatting him into a toaster oven. Prime vented heavily before bringing the sword down on the controls. At the same time, the laser weapon hummed, before there was a loud gunshot. A flag popped out, "BANG!" embroidered on white cloth.

"Starscream!" Megatron shouted.

"Don't blame me, it was Miko's idea!" the Seeker retorted.

"Hey!" Miko yelled from offscreen. "Snitch!"

"It's like working with a bunch of kindergarteners," the director muttered to himself.

Take Three

On the third time, the scene actually went as scripted. However, the explosion was accompanied by Optimus's high-pitched shriek of pain, before it was cut short a moment later. Both the director and Megatron stared, before the latter flew down to the rubble.

"Uh, yeah, he's not moving," Megatron reported, lifting a limp arm that broke off in his grip. "I think he might actually be dead."

The director ran a hand through his hair. "This won't be good for ratings."

EXTRA: Pinkimus Prime

Megatron was on his way to his trailer when his audios picked up a distinctly human curse and the clatter of falling paint cans. He naturally attributed this to Knock Out trying to get into the (forbidden) paint closet. The Decepticon medic had a tendency to go a little stir crazy if he was kept away from his paint for too long and since Miko's last paint-involved-prank, all paint had been locked away for safe-keeping. Hence a crazy Knock Out.

Anyway, Megs decided to investigate and found Miko digging into the closet, pulling out a bucket of paint and a paintbrush. "What are you doing?" Megatron asked, confused. This resulted in Miko dropping the paint can on her foot, which summarily resulted in a scream which had the Decepticon leader cringing.

"Are you trying to scare the crap out of me?" she demanded, rubbing her sore foot.

"I'll ask again," Megatron repeated, arms across his chest, "what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she retorted. When there was no response, she added, "I'm planning on pranking Optimus while he's bedridden. Want to help me?"

"And why, pray tell, would I?" Megatron asked, deciding to amuse her.

"Um, duh, because he's your arch-nemesis, and you're not allowed to kill him. How else are you supposed to get one up on him?"

Megatron let her point sink in. Two words, he thought. Elita. One. But he supposed it wasn't a good idea to mention his little…incident with the Autobot femmes' leader. "Good point. I'm in."

"Excellent," Miko gave her best Decepticon look. "Then let's begin."

Megatron and Miko, both lugging around paint cans, snuck into Prime's room. The Autobot leader was decked out in a full body cast, stuck with 2 broken arms, a broken leg, several cracked rib struts, a nearly-shattered T-cog, and a mild concussion. He was in recharge, not stirring as the two cracked open the cans and went to work pouring them across his battered frame. They snuck back out, laughter becoming full-blown.

A few hours later, a horrified Optimus awoke to find himself painted an entire shade of gaudy neon pink. His screams and very inappropriate curses could be heard all across the studio.