Title: This Just Isn't My Day: Chapter 3
Author: Ice-Eagle Y'siri
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or any other associated characters. So far, I own Aya, Rian, and Catherine.
Summary: Normally, I'm a very calm person. So just imagine me coming home with my friends and the Akatsuki in my living room. And all I wanted was a simple vacation annoying the preps next door. Great. Just. Great.
I'm so sorry I haven't updated! I've been really busy with a lot of stuff lately, so I haven't had time to put up this chapter. Thanks for waiting, and thanks especially to the people who reviewed! Constructive criticism, as emphasized, is best, please! Read on!
We laughed as I pulled in the driveway. We both got out and began to get groceries out of the trunk. Somehow, I had a feeling that it would be okay...for the time being.
"The time being" turning out to be much, much shorter than I thought. Actually, about 10 seconds after Tobi and I locked the car and began to walk up the driveway, we heard my two just wonderful friends come screaming out the front door. Hear the sarcasm? Yeah. Thought so.
They skidded to a stop in front of the two of us and I said dryly, " I suppose you aren't helping get stuff out of the car?"
"RUN! RUN! WE TOLD THEM, AYA! RUU-Ouch!" Catherine glared as she rubbed her head, "What was that for?"
I sighed "One, you don't need to yell when you're right in front of us. Two, Tobi already told me. Three, be glad I'm just hitting you on the head. I was going to beat you to death with a spork and a stick, but I changed my mind when I thought of the Akatsuki dealing with you. Four-"
"Isn't she done ye-ouch!" I continued , "Four, can't I leave you two by yourselves for at least a half-our without getting yourselves into trouble? This is ridiculous. Do you guys have a death wish or something?"
Rolling my eyes at Tobi, who I could've sworn started snickering, the two of us started walking up to the house. Wow. Trust my friends to set it up as a death trap.
"Tell us when we can come back inside. It would suck sleeping out here!" Catherine hollered from behind a rock. Right before I shut the door, I yelled back, "I've done it before! Don't complain!"
Piffle. Amateurs. It's not that bad. Well, aside from all the freakish hills on the ground where the fire ants are. And knowing the two of them, it's either that or the rock. I'm betting on the rock for tonight. Heaven knows I've slept out there often enough on my own-
you were stargazing. That doesn't count.You had bug repellent. And a sleeping bag-
Oh, shut up, conscience. I smirked to myself as I entered the kitchen and began putting the ice cream and other fridge items away, "For some odd reason, Tobi, I don't think Leader wanted the rest of them to know first. Just a guess."
"Your brilliant deduction astounds me." I didn't look up from inside the fridge, "It's rude to eavesdrop, Itachi. And thank you. Would you please hand me the butter and cheese?" I stuck my hand over the door and he obligingly handed them to me "Thanks. Itachi, do I say Ih-tachi or Eee-tachi?"
Finishing with the cold food, I moved on to the pantry, which was opposite the fridge and by the microwave. I looked back to see him leaning against the doorway to the family room, eyes flickering between black and Sharingan. I inwardly rolled my eyes. Jeez. If he's trying to freak me out, it's not working. Good Lord. Even Tobi is scarier than him, and that's saying something, because it's Tobi. I mean, the dude would probably glomp the Easter Bunny, for crying out loud.
Well, if he knew who he was, anyway.
I raised an eyebrow, "Well?"
"...Either is fine". I saw Kisame standing behind him and asked curiously "Is he like this all the time?"
The blue-skinned man looked like he was trying not to smile and covered his mouth "Yes, he is, Aya-san."
My lips twitched and I turned back around to the pantry. I think I'll reorganize all the canned foods by alphabetical order and expiration date. Well, at least until I get myself back under control. Let's see, Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup (possibilities!, Oh, SHUT UP) goes up here-
"By the way, Aya-san. You friends have told us that we don't...exist here. Is this true?" I poked my head out from behind the pantry door to see if I could find Tobi
"Oh, TOOOOOOOOOOOOBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" (A.N: I know that's not how you spell his name, but it looks better than using I's) I tilted my head back to see the aforementioned shinobi standing in front of the pantry door, "Yes, Aya-chan?"
"You feel like telling them?" He gave me an (what I could perceive behind his orange mask, anyway) 'are-you-FAHREAKING-kidding-me?' look and I sighed "You're most likely to survive a homicidal rage if the rest of the Akatsuki shows up. I'll hopefully die quickly."
"Now, why would we do something like that?" Kakuzu poked his head through the door and I winced. Not "through the doorway" door. As in, through the front door. I winced as Rian's voice rang out.
"DUDE! YOU JUST BASHED YOUR HEAD THROUGH THE DAMN DOOR!! WHAT THE HELL, MAN!! THAT THING'S FREAKING EXPENSIVE!!"
"You would know, as an eavesdropper," Kakuzu calmly opened the door, then pulled his head out of the hole and dropped the two guilty members on the ground, "You were saying, Kisame-san?"
I fought to keep my face under control, "Rian, Catherine, why were you two eavesdropping? It takes ninjas to eavesdrop on other ninjas. I thought you knew this."
"Well," Rian groused, " I thought that-ouch, Catherine, dammit, that hurt-excuse me, we thought that they would be preoccupied with you being questioned about their, uh, existence, but just as we reached the door Ka-BAMETH! Kakuzu was like, there and admonished us about eavesdropping and then stuck his head through our front door-" She glowered at said ninja and he rolled his eyes,"-so now besides getting you all new clothes we have to get a new door. Or have one of you people fix it, 'cuz we sure as heck can't."
"Wait, new clothes? There's no WAY in hell I'm fixing any damn doors." Hidan joined us in our little gathering in the kitchen, so now it was Hidan, me, Rian, Catherine, Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu all together. It was easier for me, though, as I was in the pantry and not out with everyone else, so it wasn't totally crowded...ish, anyway.
"Clothes?" Rian snorted from her spot on the ground, "Don't tell me you were actually going to go around in those outfits. And it's hot down here in the Sunshine State. Y'all will die in a week from the heat. Speaking figuratively, of course." She added hurriedly.
"She's right. Genjutsu can't do everything," Pein's voice rang out from the family room "So we'll need to go to wherever people here shop. Catherine-san, have you thought of an excuse?"
She shrugged as best she could sitting down, "Thought I'd tell my 'rents that we're renovating the house some; the door now gives us the excuse. And the fact that we need clothes for school, since where we go it has a somewhat strict dress code."
"But how will you explain the broken door?" Catherine smirked at me, "I'll tell them that you flung the display bowling ball again."
I sighed, "That was only once..." Rian grinned
"But you nailed me, in case you forgot, dummy. Now if it was Catherine, on the other hand-"
"HEY!"
"While I appreciate your tactics in distracting us, Aya-san, I would like to know. Do shinobi exist here?" I winced as every eye turned towards me.
"Uhhhhhh...what would you do if I said no? Because you don't." Oh god oh god oh God I'm gonna die ohmigod-
"I'm not going to kill you, Aya-san (2). I am merely...surprised, to a degree. As I hope you would understand." I was dumbfounded. One of the Seven Swordsmen wasn't going to kill me? Holy shiznit. Well, that's two Akatsuki members I don't have to worry about...
"No, you don't. And it's a sorta-kinda-not really long story. Basically, a dude in Japan named Masasashi Kishimoto created you guys in something called a manga/anime. Your'e also a TV show and quite popular. Or well, Naruto is. You're the bad guys. But whatever. You get it?"
The shark man nodded and I breathed a small sigh of relief. Now, what about the others...
Hidan looked sorta surprised, Itachi expressionless as usal, and I couldn't tell with Tobi 'cuz of his mask, but he already knew. Kakuzu looked slightly shocked, and I really don't know how the others will react. I ventured a question.
"So you aren't...furious? Totally angry?" Hidan shrugged, "Why would we give a damn about some dude in some damn country somewhere not here? I've killed and tortured for my god, and that's all I care about. He can go jump off a fuckin' cliff, for all I care."
The others murmured their agreement and I slowly began to relax. Now as to us going shopping...
...God, Akatsuki in a mall is scary to think about...actually, any kind of shinobi in a mall is scary to think about. At least it's not Christmas season. I'd hate to know what they'd do to the Santa Claus that the mall hires every year. Hidan would probably skewer him. I smirked. Since we're inevitably going to split up, I'm definitely going to take Tobi and Itachi and whoever else with me. I'll leave the rest to drive Catherine and Rian nuts. Well, at least it's not Wally World (1), God forbid.
I shudder in terror.
"Then it's decided," Pein's voice floated through the doorway, "We leave tomorrow for the mall. Any questions?"
"Hey, Leader," I rolled my eyes 'here we go again', "Are we splitting up tomorrow 'cuz there's no fuckin' way I'm going with the two morons over the-"
"HEY!!" Both my friends nearly got up but Kakuzu's hands on their shoulders stilled them. I rolled my eyes behind Hidan's back and they both snickered.
"That will be decided tomorrow. We leave when they get up." Yes, dad. Gyawd.
"Which means sometime in the morning, Aya." I huffed, "Fine, fine. Whatever. Good night." Thankfully, they all dispersed fairly quietly (we could hear Hidan cursing to Jashin when we left) and we all hit our pillows and knew no more.
Heaven knew what would happen when we arrived at the mall. I can only pray that Deidara doesn't set off any explosives while we're there...
Again, I'm really incredibly sorry that I haven't updated until now, but I've been really busy. I have some ideas for the next chapter, so it should be up soon! If and/or when you review, constructive criticism is best! I will ignore flames, so you have been warned.
(1) For people who don't know, Wally-World is another name for Wal-Mart. I know some people like Wal-Mart, but I don't, so don't be surprised to see some occasional bashing of this store.
(2) Kisame, though some people don't portray him as such, is actually incredibly calm and polite to other people and addresses them correctly. Which makes sense, considering Itachi probably would've killed him if he were otherwise.
Until next time, folks! Oh, and thanks for reviews from Shikasennyo, SnowsShadows, Friglit, thiefkingbakura4eva, Sasoriforever, VampireArgonian92, and Kidloco. Keep them coming, please! :D