Hey! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, I have so much I want to write for this story it's just a matter of finding the time!

I could really do without having to fork out for train tickets, especially as it was just Toby's birthday, but I didn't want the guilt of depriving my son, what kind of mum would that make me?

The morning could not come around fast enough for Toby, who was usually a good sleeper with the exception of today, he had been awake since the crack of dawn, I could feel his excitement through the walls.

Once I managed to pull myself out of bed, I made my way into the kitchen and started to make some eggs; Toby's favourite I knew exactly how he liked them, running so he could dip his solders in it. I am proud to say I am the only person who can cook his eggs just right and it was something no-one could take away from me not even Peter.

Our train to Walford was booked for 10:30, and it was currently 9:45AM, I never used to be one to be on time for things, however having Toby has changed me because I am responsible for him, not just myself anymore.

I could never regret having Toby I just wish it wasn't so soon, I haven't treated myself for so long, not to mention the lack of dates I had been on, not that me and Toby needed anyone else, we were doing fine.

Toby picked out his clothes for the day, which also happened to be his best clothes, seems as if he wanted to impress someone, not that it would make a difference, If Peter didn't want to be involved then what is to say that things are any different, I couldn't help but feel like I was setting my son up for heartbreak, although better he knows now than to realise when he is old enough to do something stupid, or hate me forever.

"Right, packing done, Toby dressed, keys, phone, money..." I said ticking my checklist off out loud

"Toby, you ready? Before we go just remember that if things don't work out, mummy is always going to be here for you, okay?" I reminded him whilst crouching down to his level.

"Mummy can we go on Thomas the tank engine now?" He asked innocently, oblivious to my previous comment.

"Of course baby, let's go" I replied

/

When we had arrived at the train station, just outside of our estate, I automatically held Toby's hand tighter, taking in the amount of people and rushing that was before my eyes.

Some people might think that I treat my son like a cotton wool kid, but I would prefer it over being a careless mum, at least this way I am protecting him.

When abroad the train, I took out a comic I had brought before hand and gave it to Toby; it was Thomas the tank engine of course.

This kept him satisfied for the whole journey, I however, was preoccupied consumed by thoughts and memories of Walford before and after my alcoholic breakdown; which Toby shall never know about.

I almost missed our stop; luckily I was brought back to reality by the automated voice announcing we were now in Walford.

I guess this is it I thought to myself, no turning back now.

"Are we here now mummy?" my boy asked

"Yes sweetie.. This is where daddy lives" I said almost whispering the second part

When we made it outside the tube station, I hesitantly took in the smells, same as always, I could pick up the scent of the chip shop and the alcohol from the Vic, it was calling me- I knew this wasn't a good idea.

"What do you say we go to grandma's and settle in, then maybe mummy will get you some chips if you are good" I suggested only because there was a possibility Peter was doing a shift at the chippy.

"Yay!" Toby chirped back

I hurried him along across the square so that no one would see us before we see them, I wanted to introduce my past to my present in my own time, but I was determined Toby wasn't going to be my secret, I wasn't ashamed.

We soon arrived at number 5, so familiar, I climbed the steps with Toby on my side carrying his own backpack and me towing along duffel, with the two fingers I had free, I managed to knock the knocker and within seconds I was stood facing my mum, who was mirroring my expression.

"Surprise" I said softly not sure how she would react.

/

Okay, so this is chapter two, I lost a little bit half way through because my computer turned off randomly lmao, but I will be writing and publishing chapter 3 later which will have some reunions!

Hope you enjoyed!

~Jess