Notes: I was going to wait to post this until Wednesday. But VanyelXFan made me spend the day editing it and it's ready. So why not post practically a week early? Gesh. I'm a sucker for nice reviews by nice reviewers.
And if there are any weird line breaks or spaces, sorry. The editer on this site is giving me problems today. Keeps doing weird things everytime I tell it to save.
In Life and Death
Chapter 19: Open Your Eyes
"The vitals are good. The brain scans are fine. Medically, there is nothing wrong with your friend."
Riku didn't lift his gaze from the unmoving brunette as the voice of the nurse came to his ears. "He's not my friend. He's my fiancé."
"My apologies." The voice said.
"Why isn't he awake then? If everything is fine?" His own voice was soft.
"He's in a coma. He could wake up anytime or he could never wake up."
"Uh!" He screamed in frustration and slammed his fist against his leg. "Damnit, Sora. Open your fucking eyes!"
The nurse let the silence in the room hang for a few minutes, allowing the anger to dissipate. "I have to leave now. I will be back tomorrow early. But I can only stay until noon. I have a previous engagement."
Riku ignored her, his eyes still on the unmoving brunette on the bed.
"Hey Riku. Did you hear me?" She stepped closer to him and waved a hang in front of his face.
He shook his head slowly and lifted his gaze to her face. "What?"
"Pay attention. I'm leaving. I will be here tomorrow at my normal time. 8 A.M." She spoke slowly, as if talking to a slow child. "But I have to leave at noon."
"Noon?" He repeated slowly. "When will you be back?"
"I won't. I'll be out the rest of the day. I told you this last week."
He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Right…"
"Tomorrow is Friday."
"Friday…" He repeated her again.
"Rain will be here before I leave. She called to confirm earlier today. Kairi will be here in the evening."
"Thank you." He said softly and turned his attention away from her again. He heard her leave the bedroom and the front door closing soon after.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"He's stable now. But..."
"When can I see him?"
"Shortly. But he's…"
"I want to see him now."
"Riku, this would go faster if you stop interrupting me." Veera snapped.
Riku glared at her. "I. Want. To. See. Him. Now." He spoke each word slowly and forcefully. He wasn't in the mood to spar with her.
"Keep your voice down." She hissed, not wanting them to be heard. "He's being prepped."
The four of them, Kairi and Rain included, stood in the waiting room. It was nearly an hour after Riku had been kicked out of the operating room that Veera came to find them.
"For what?" Kairi asked as she lifted her hand to wipe away the new tears in her eyes.
Riku stepped away from the small group and began to pace the room. Veera hadn't given them any information yet. Just that she wouldn't let Riku see the brunette. And he was pissed about it.
Veera wished she had one of Zing's mindless drones come out and talk to them. "Transport."
"To where?" Rain snapped incredulously.
"Your apartment."
"What happened?" Kairi choked out. She couldn't stop them. The tears came again.
"What I told you could happen."
Veera spoke so calm and evenly and Rain was getting as pissed off as Riku. "You said this was the deadline."
Veera shook her head. "I said this was the longest we could wait. But I said it would be dangerous all the same."
Riku stopped his pacing and pushed in between Kairi and Rain. "Where are Gliss and Roko?"
Veera looked away for a moment. "I'm sorry. We were lucky enough that we didn't lose Sora as well."
"As well?"
"Both?"
"How?" All three of them spoke at once.
"The girl…"
"Gliss." Riku interrupted.
"Yes. She had a heart defect. We couldn't repair it. The boy…"
"Roko."
"He was born dead, so to speak. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. He suffocated."
"But… I held her. I felt her. She was breathing. She was fine. The nurse said she was fine. Underweight but fine." Riku was rambling.
"Well… we…" Veera stammered. "We didn't realize it until it was too late. I didn't foresee all the complications…"
"But you should have." His voice rose. "You told us and you've been telling Sora all along."
"Look, I'm sorry about this. I really am. But there's nothing I could have done to save them."
"I want to see them." Riku pressed.
"You can't."
"Why? They're my fucking kids!"
"Following Sora's wishes, they were cremated."
"What?"
"Sora and I discussed many possible outcomes. If they didn't survive, he wanted them cremated and placed in the same jar."
"What? That doesn't…" Riku shook his head.
Veera held up her hand to stop him. "You can argue all you want but it's already been done. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm being paged."
"I didn't hear anything."
"Silent page." Veera had already turned to leave.
Rain moved to follow her. "What about Sora? Will he be okay?"
Veera didn't turn as she answered. "Right now that's hard to tell. He's stable but the next few days will tell."
"Shouldn't he remain here then?"
She shook her head. "I've already spoken with a nurse. Here's her number." She stopped, turned, and pulled a slip of paper from the pocket on her coat. She thrusted it at Rain before turning again. "She'll be over during the day to keep watch on him and teach you how to take care of him until he wakes up."
"Wait!" Kairi was a step behind them. "What about you?"
"Not my department."
"What? Not your department?" Kairi snapped. "Now that he's not some rare, medical marvel you just dismiss him? After everything?" She was furious.
"He needs someone trained in this. A specialist. He's in a coma."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Three weeks. It had been three weeks.
"Sora… you have to wake up. You can't do this to me. I need you." Riku scooted his chair closer to the bed. Being careful of the wires, he laced his fingers in Sora's and leaned his head on the edge of the bed.
He must have fallen asleep at some point because when he lifted his head, the room was dark. The clock on the bedside table said 5:36. "Damn." He released his hold on Sora and rubbed at his neck. The muscles were tight, obviously in protest to the odd angle in which he slept.
He worked the kinks out as he stood up. He yawned and shook his head slowly. "Maybe today, right Sora?"
As usual, he got no answer. He sighed sadly. "You better prove everyone wrong and hurry up and wake up. We've got a wedding to plan, remember?"
He gave the brunette a once over, checking the monitors and IV's. Everything looked fine. Except for one thing. He shook his head slowly. "I'll be back. Going to jump in the shower and get dressed. I'll see you in a bit."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"You know what I was thinking, Sora?" Riku stood in front of the mirror over Sora's dresser, running a brush through his damp hair. "I think we should leave for a while. Just you and me. We could head to that Radiant Garden place you talk about. Maybe get our hands on a Gummi Ship from that ship guy… uh… that friend of yours… Cid? We could hang out for a bit with your friends. Then maybe head over to Disney Castle. Spend a couple months planet hopping. Get away from things. Not to say I want to forget what's happened… to forget them… because their brief life brought us together…"
He stilled the motion of the brush as he stared at his reflection. He blinked his eyes, trying to fight the threatening tears. He had cried more times in the past few weeks than in his entire life. It wasn't something he was used to. He shook his head slowly and continued to pull the brush through his hair.
"I think some time away will do us both good. And it'll be fun. No need to worry about school. You've already missed a lot and since its homeschooling, you can catch up anytime. Kairi and I can help. As for me… I already dropped out. I know, right? Only just started and I'm already a college dropout. But I can always go back and make up the classes later. The most important thing now is you… us…"
He signed as he set the brush down on the dresser top. "So you need to open your eyes." Another sigh escaped his lips as he turned and walked out of the room.
He was beyond frustrated. Day after day he sat in Sora's room. Day after day he held his hand, talked to him, and took care of him. Day after day he waited for the brunette to open his eyes, talk, to move, or show any sign that he was alive other than the dull beeping of the monitors. The only time he left the apartment was to go downstairs to do laundry and he only did it once. He felt like he was going crazy but he couldn't bring himself to leave.
Once in the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator door and proceeded to stare into it as if waiting for something to jump out at him. After a few hopeless moments of trying to think about eating something, he grabbed the milk and shut the door. He pulled a bowl from the cabinet and a spoon from the drawer.
He had just finished pouring the cereal and milk in the bowl when there was a knock at the door. "Come in." He shouted as he sat down.
"Riku?"
"Kitchen." He looked up as she walked in.
She had introduced herself as Allisabeth the first time they'd met. She was older than him but you couldn't always tell it. She tended to sing and dance around the apartment when she thought no one was looking. She was a complete oddball. Her long, black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and her dark eyes were hidden behind her black rimmed glasses. She looked more like a librarian than a nurse. And she acted more like a highschooler.
Riku had found it odd that Veera would have suggested her. But he didn't care about the doctor and her odd motives anymore. He hadn't seen or heard from her since that day.
"Good morning Ally."
"Good morning to you too. I hope it finds you well." Her voice had a singsong quality to it in the early morning hours. She pulled off her coat and set it and her bag on the back of a chair in the living room.
He shrugged as he leaned back in his chair. "As well as can be."
She nodded, understanding. "Don't give up hope. He needs you to believe he'll be okay."
Riku said nothing as he stared at the bowl on the table before him.
"Well… I shall go check on the patient now." She did an odd spin on her heels and started down the hall.
"I'm sorry Ally."
She stopped when she heard his voice, though it was barely above a whisper. She turned back towards the kitchen and stopped in the wide doorway.
"For the way I acted yesterday." Riku continued. "The yelling and the spacey trance."
"One, you weren't yelling at me." She said, holding up a finger. "And two, you're always in a 'spacey-trance.' Don't worry about it." She held up a second finger, and then let her hand drop to her side.
Riku watched as she excused herself and headed down the hall. He leaned farther back in his chair and laced his hands together behind his neck. His breakfast was forgotten. He closed his eyes, thinking how much his life had changed in the past year.
He was lost in thought when the phone rang. With a sigh, he pushed the chair from the table and stood up. He crossed the kitchen towards the counter where the phone sat. He picked it up off the charger and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"
"Riku! Hey!"
"Hi Kairi."
"I only have a few minutes until I have to head to school. How are things going?"
"Fine." Riku leaned against the counter. "Still nothing."
Kairi sighed over the phone. "I guess that's not entirely a bad thing. At least nothing is seriously wrong with him."
"Besides the fact that he hasn't left his bed in weeks." Sarcasm laced his voice.
"Could say the same thing about you."
"Ha. I've left my bed plenty." He hardly slept in it.
"Maybe. But you haven't left that apartment."
"I have to be here, Kairi. I can't leave. Besides, I have nowhere to go."
"Oh yes you do. You need to head over to the phone store place and get a new phone."
He didn't want to have this conversation again. "I don't need a new phone."
"Yes you do! Your number still works. You're still paying for it. You just need another phone."
"I want my phone."
"Well… you lost it, Riku. Get over it and get a new phone. If you find your old one, you can switch it back. In the meantime, you need a new one in case something happened. What if there was an emergency?"
"House phone, Kairi." He said, rolling his eyes. "It's what you called me on in case you've forgotten already."
"What if you left the house?"
"I don't."
"But what if you did and something happened?"
"Well it won't because I'm not leaving until he can leave with me."
She was silent a moment. "Riku, this isn't healthy. You can't lock yourself away."
"Sora did."
"Riku, get a damn phone. Ally's there, right? You pay her to take care of Sora. So let her and go get a new phone."
"No."
"Then wait until Rain gets there and they can both watch him."
"No."
"Damnit Riku!"
"Bye Kairi." He pressed the end button and dropped the phone back on its charger. He didn't care what Kairi said. He didn't want a new phone. He wanted his old phone back, the one he took a picture of Gliss and himself with. The only picture that existed of her. The only proof he had that she had existed.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Here you go, you stubborn jackass."
He was sitting on the couch in the living room, mindlessly flipping through the channels on the television. He hadn't heard the front open and close and he hadn't heard her come in. "What?" He looked up at her as she stood over him.
She held a box out to him and dropped it on the couch.
"What's this?" He reached for the colorful box.
"You wouldn't leave to get a new cell phone so I got one for you."
"Kairi…"
"Don't argue. Just take the damn phone. I already set it up for you and programmed a few numbers in it."
"Kairi…"
"Look… I know I can't completely understand what's going on with you." She stood over him with her arms on her hips. There was a scolding tone to her voice. "But the way you're acting, its bullshit Riku and you know it. When Sora wakes up, you know he's going to blame himself. He's going to tear himself apart because you're falling apart. Don't you think he has enough shit to deal with without worrying about you?"
"Kairi!"
"No!" She leaned down and pointed a finger in his face. "I don't want to hear any of your excuses. Read through the fucking manual and learn how to check your messages. You have eight." She straightened up and brushed herself off. "Now… where is Rain?" Her voice was her normal, pleasantly annoyingly happy tone.
"Uh… shopping…"
"Good. I'm going to go find her. And when we get back, I expect you to have read through the entire manual and know everything about that phone."
Riku watched her as she turned and walked out the front doors. He shook his head slowly as he opened the box and dumped its contents out.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"So has he left the couch yet?"
Kairi shook her head slowly. She had found Rain easily enough. The grocery store they shopped at was only a couple of blocks away.
"I just don't know how to get through to that boy."
"I picked him out a new phone. The most confusing, complicated one I could find. So at least maybe it'll keep his mind off things for a little while."
"Maybe." Rain smiled as she turned the cart down an aisle.
"How are you doing?" Kairi asked as she tagged along behind her.
"I'm fantastic, dear."
Kairi peered at her oddly. "Really?"
"Of course."
"Rain, you don't have to be so strong all the time."
"Yes. I do." She said softly as she stilled the cart. "I have to be strong. I have to pretend that everything is alright and that Sora will wake up any second and he'll be alright. Because the minute I fall apart… that boy's going to crash even more. I know that. Right now, he needs me to be his mother. I have to take care of him, for him and for Sora. And you." She wrapped her arm around Kairi's shoulder and hugged her close.
"Don't worry about me, mom."
They both smiled and laughed and went back to shopping.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Riku sighed deeply as he flipped through the cell phone's massive manual. The damned thing came with everything except the kitchen sink.
"What have you got there?"
He looked up as Ally came down the hall. "Kairi bought me a new phone. It's just about the most frustrating thing I've ever see."
"Oh?" She was smiling. "Well… I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"I hope. Kairi will have my ass if I don't."
"Can I get you something to drink?"
He shook his head, his eyes on the page he was reading. "No thank you."
Ally smiled again as she turned to the kitchen. She could be heard humming along to something in her head.
Riku's attention was back on the manual and twenty minutes later, he was able to check his messages. One was from Kairi, telling him to get a new phone. Another was from his father, which he deleted without listening to. Wakka had also called, asking about how he and Sora were doing. Riku smiled at that. He hadn't talked to any of their other friends in a long while. He assumed Sora hadn't either. He would have to give the Blitzball player a call. See how the team was doing without him.
The rest of the messages were from Connie. He felt guilty now that he hadn't talked to her and that he slammed the door in her face last week. She had only been trying to help, wasn't she? And she said she had some information about Veera. But he wanted nothing more to do with the doctor he hadn't seen or heard from. He shook his head slowly as he dialed Connie's number anyways. He owed her an apology, if nothing else.
"Hello?"
He heard the sour tone in her voice. "Connie?"
"Yes?"
He sighed. "Look… I'm sorry for last week. And I'm sorry for not calling. I actually didn't get your messages until today. I lost my phone a while back and haven't had time to get a replacement."
"Why?" Her normal curiousness crept back in her voice. "What's going on?"
He sighed again and rubbed at his forehead. "Okay. I want to tell you the truth. The whole truth. But not over the phone."
"Okay!" She was practically squealing. "Give me a time and place and I'll be there. You won't believe the info I have for you."
He smiled. "Tomorrow night? Anytime. My place?"
"Will I get the door slammed in my face again?"
He smiled, despite himself. "No. I promise."
"Fantastic! Is eight too late?"
"No. That's fine. Rain and Kairi will probably be here. I can probably talk them into leaving for a bit. Give us a chance to really talk. I think Ally will be gone by then." He was thinking allowed, momentarily forgetting he was talking to Connie.
"Rain is Sora's mother, right? I think I've met her briefly twice. And I know Kairi. Do I know this Ally?"
"Huh? Oh." No, he hadn't spoken to Connie since Ally came into the picture. "No. She's the nurse."
"Nurse? You have a nurse in your apartment?"
Riku turned as he heard a rustling outside the front door. "Yeah…"
The door swung open with more force than was necessary. "Damnit!" Kairi dropped the bags she was holding and she scrambled to pick them up as Rain squeezed in beside her.
"I'll tell you the full story tomorrow but something bad happened a few weeks ago and Sora's been in a coma since."
Connie gasped. "Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't know. He's not at the hospital then?"
"No. He's here. Ally comes in during the day to keep a watch."
"Wow." Connie breathed out after a silent moment. "Besides the coma, how is he?"
"Physically nothing's wrong. He just won't wake up."
"People wake up from comas all the time." She said softly. "Your friend will be fine."
"Thanks Connie." He watched as Rain and Kairi carried their bags in the kitchen. "Listen… Sora's not my friend." He said slowly. "I mean… he is my friend… but he's my…"
"You can stop the confession. I know."
"You know?"
Connie laughed. "I've seen the way you look at him. And the way you talk about him."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't know. Because you assumed I didn't? Or maybe because I enjoy the mindless flirting too much. Or getting under Sora's skin."
Riku laughed loudly as he stood up. "I'd love to chat more, but I really have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"
"Right! Bye Riku!"
"Later Connie." He flipped the phone closed and slipped it in his pocket. Then he noticed the two sets of eyes on him, standing in the kitchen doorway. "What? Need help?"
"Uh…" Kairi was looking at him oddly.
"With the bags."
"Riku…"
He turned and headed out the door without waiting for a response.
"He just went outside." Rain shook her head slowly.
"And he was laughing. On the phone. With Connie." Kairi said in disbelief.
"Who's Connie?"
"This incredibly annoying, dimwitted blonde who works at the hospital."
Rain nodded again. "I think I remember her." She turned and walked back into the kitchen. She began pulling things out of the bags on the counter. "What is he going talking with her? Sounded almost like old friends."
Kairi joined her at the counter. "I'm not sure but she came over last week. He slammed the door in her face. I didn't ask why. I didn't think he actually knew her, other than the few times he'd seen her at the hospital. Can't have been more than a handful. I honestly don't know what's going on."
They both turned as they heard the front door open again. "Fuck." Riku dropped an armload of shopping bags on the kitchen table. "You guys go shopping and you really go shopping."
Kairi's mouth dropped open. "Riku!"
He looked from Kairi to Rain and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Oh… sorry." He smiled. "I'll go get the rest. Then I'll put it away and make dinner. You girls just relax. And maybe you can go see a movie or something tomorrow night."
"Tomorrow?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I have a friend coming over for a bit. I wouldn't mind if you were here, but I'd kind of like to talk to her in private for a while. If you wouldn't mind."
"A friend, huh?" Kairi looked suspicious but she smiled and looked to Rain. "I'm game."
"Me too."
"Great."
"Riku…" Rain said as he headed for the door.
"Yeah?"
"Welcome back. We missed you."
He smiled and disappeared out the door.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Riku sighed as he leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. He laced his fingers together behind his neck and smiled. "So… how was your day, honey?"
He knew he'd get no response from the brunette. "Mine wasn't completely horrible. Kairi got me a new phone. It was just about the most complicated thing I've ever seen. I think she had an ulterior motive though. She thinks I'm in some sort of slump. Maybe she's right. I know it sounds weird… but I spent so much time chasing after you and running away from you and searching for you and I finally get you and you're gone again."
He sighed and leaned back further, moving his gaze to the ceiling. "But I guess Kairi was right. I can't just fade away. I have to trust that you will open your eyes one day. And that we can help each other heal. Because I do love you Sora. It was never entirely about them. I loved you before them and I'll still love you after."
He looked at the clock. It was getting late. And he was getting tired. "If you don't mind… I think tonight I'll sleep in my bed." He got to his feet and bent down to place a chaste kiss on the brunette's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."
He slipped out of the room quietly, leaving the door propped open. He stole a glance at the living room and shook his head slowly. Rain and Kairi had both refused when he offered then the use of his bed weeks ago. In the nights when they were both here, they shared the couch bed.
He shook his head slowly as he retreated to the room where he hadn't spent much time in recently. He kept the light off as peeled his clothes off and fell on the bed. Even though he couldn't see in the dark, he knew the room was littered with all the now useless baby stuff. After bringing Sora home, Riku had stashed it away. He couldn't bring himself to deal with their deaths and get rid of it. But he also couldn't leave it for Sora to find when he finally wakes up.
He pulled his blanket up to his chin and was nearly asleep when he heard someone scream.
"RIKU!"
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
End of Chapter 19. Stay tuned for Chapter 20: Not Without You
Author's Notes: MUHAHAHAHA! Again.