I do not own The Hunger Games

Chapter 3- The Book

(Katniss)

I woke up the next morning to a huge pain enveloping my body. It was the worst in my throat and chest. I lay still but open my eyes. Peeta isn't there; he must've gone home. I lay in the bed for a long time, trying to force the pain away. But I can't. I can't get out of bed because I can't allow myself to enjoy anything, if I do it will just disappear. It will leave just like Prim, and my father, and Rue, and Gale, and Finnick did. I start to hum to myself, I hum the song I sang to Rue as she died, and then I hum Hanging Tree. By the second verse of "Hanging Tree" I have the strength to get up and take a shower. By ten o'clock I walk downstairs still humming, when I get to the kitchen I see Peeta and he looks up and smiles at me.

"I made some muffins, they're on the table."

"Thank you." I say and return to my humming. I sit down at the table and take a muffin, it's still warm, and I still hum in between bites. After a few minutes Peeta comes and sits beside me.

"You should go hunting today, it feels good outside." He tells me

I nod my head in agreement; the woods have always been my place of safety, they are where I feel most myself. After I finish two more muffins, I head upstairs to get ready to hunt. However when I open up my closet I notice the smallness and the safety it provides. I close the door and curl up in the corner. I start singing softly, just like I did when I was held in my training center room after I killed Coin.

I open my eyes, and realize I had fallen asleep; I sit up and notice my cheeks are wet. I must have been crying in my sleep. I don't remember any dreams. How long have I been in here?

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I was in the Hunger Games twice. I escaped. Peeta was hijacked. He is coming back to me. I live in district 12. Prim is dead. My mom can't come back here. Gale is in two. Why am I doing this? I'm not supposed to be disoriented anymore. This only brings up bad memories. I kick myself out of it and think about lighter things, like the fact that I need to get up and walk downstairs, maybe I should still go hunting. It takes me a minute but I finally get my lazy butt out of the closet. Peeta is still there, sitting on the couch.

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Yeah. In the closet…"

He stands up and holds out his arms to me, I don't hesitate to run into them. I bury my head in his shoulder and he wraps around me. He holds me like he used to, before he was hijacked. We stand there for a few minutes and then he settles me on the couch and hurries into the kitchen, returning only a few minutes later with some warm milk. I feel stronger and more secure with Peeta beside me, he provides a protection that no one else can, not even the closet.

"Haymitch told me when you were in 13 and even when we were in Snow's mansion you would sneak around and hide is closets and small places all day. Is that what you were doing today?"

"Yes." I tell him truthfully, hoping it doesn't hurt his feelings that seeked out a room for comfort when he was sitting in my house, but instead he lets a sigh of understanding escape from his lips and says,

"I miss them too."

I press my head into his chest to try and block the tears and he tightens his grip on me.

"Peeta?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember them really well, like Prim and Finnick? Do you remember my Prim?"

"Yes. They didn't really distort my memories of anyone but you. I can think of them all I want and no nightmares come."

"Good. Now I have to tell you something."

And so I do, I tell him all about the book I want to write, about how I want to write down everything about Prim and my father and Peeta and Gale. I ask him to draw in it and he agrees instantly. I had thought about it a lot after Peeta returned before we started spending a lot of time together, but I had forgotten about it until he told me he missed them too. This book might help Peeta just as much as it will help me. We talk a little bit longer about the book and exactly what we will do with it. It makes me feel a little better than I did this morning.

Around 8 pm, Greasy Sae walks in with some soup for us.

"Hello Katniss, Peeta."

"Thank you so much for the soup, again." I say wrapping my arms around her; she hugs back a bit surprised by my random gesture. "You really don't have to do that every night. We can cook."

"Oh, its not problem dear. I always have extra. It's the least I can do after all those years your supplied me with those wild dogs." She says with a wink.

I make a mental note to write down everything about Greasy Sae in the book. Her smell, and her soup, and her laugh, I want to remember them all. She leaves and Peeta and I happily eat our soup. I continue humming through diner, but Peeta doesn't seem to mind it. After we eat, I tell him about how I wanted Greasy Sae in the book, and he suggests we put her granddaughter who occasionally visits us in the book as well. I agree. I start to get tired and so we walk up stairs.

"I sleep a lot lately, don't I?" I ask.

"You do. But that's okay, you deserve lots rest."

"But so do you, Peeta. Why don't you sleep as much as I do?"

"I don't like going to sleep. I can't control my thoughts."

"Oh." I say, thinking about how hard that must be. Every time he lets his mind rest cruel and vicious capitol thoughts take over his brain. I would hate that. I probably would avoid sleep too.

"It's fine, I'm fine. You should sleep Katniss."

I climb into bed, and he kisses me on the forehead again, and I grab his hands as he turns to leave.

"Don't leave Peeta."

"Fine. I'll stay till you go to sleep."

"No, stay all night. I don't like it when your not here." I really did want him there when I wake up, I didn't want to go through this morning again.

"No Katniss, I can't. I told you I can't control my thoughts when I sleep." Peeta says as he sits down next to me.

"Fine." I groan. "But at least lay down this time."

"Katniss, I might fall asleep…that's to risky."

"Please Peeta?" I ask, thinking that maybe, just maybe his arms wrapped around me before I fall asleep will ward off the nightmares of the night.

He agrees and I easily fall asleep with his warmth consuming me. My nightmares that night were not as bad as usual. I guess it was because that was the first time since the Quarter Quell when I have fallen asleep with Peeta beside me.