Title: This Just Isn't My Day: Chapter Fifteen

By: Ice-Eagle Y'Siri

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or the Akatuski or anything associated with Naruto.

Summary: Normally, I'm a very calm person. So just imagine me coming home with my friends and the Akatsuki in my living room. And all I wanted was a simple vacation annoying the heck out of the preps next door. Great. Just. Great.

So I haven't updated in over a year...and I'm really sorry? -headdesk-

I just haven't been inspired lately. Plus, college. Is amazing. And I am learning a shit ton of things and I changed majors and all that awesome awesomeness, so I haven't exactly had time to update. Plust I've been working on a book. An actual book! WHEEEEEEE

But I've still gotten emails from people who've been reading my stories, and I feel guilty, and the latest one I received was a bit like the straw on the camel's back. Because for a long time I just felt that FanFiction was a stepping-stone for writers. And in some ways, it is. You get to work with already developed characters in an established universe with your own choice of cannon vs non-canon vs AU. I realized, however, that I've always really loved these characters and this fandom (among many, many others), and that I've been dong everyone who's ever read my stories or come across them an extreme disservice in not updating. So, from now on, I'm going to update at least once a month, probably more like twice, for the top three stories I have-TJIMD, Silver Hearted, and Numbers and Rainbows.

This chapter may be fairly error-ridden-I haven't seen my work in a while, and it's pretty damn late here when I'm writing it. But please, enjoy. :)

And guys, guys, I FINALLY HAVE A PLOT DIRECTION FOR THIS STORY! This was orginally for fun, but ohmyGOD is it going to go places. I'm so excited. It literally popped into my head as I was writing this. Hopefully nobody else has come up with it yet and think I'm ripping them off. The sequel will be fantastic because not to totally make you guys hate me, but this story may end as a cliffhanger. :D

PS: It's totally ironic, too, because I have about twelve pages somewhere with stuff I did write but actually looking at it a few months later I dislike most of it because it goes against the characterization I've been doing. Goes to show what happens when you go on a laze-induced writing sabbatical.

Itachi's POV

I didn't like this.

I didn't like this at all.

I rubbed my eyes absently as I continued to scour the jutsu I had written. Something was missing, but I couldn't figure out what. With a sigh, I moved to scrutinize the last jutsu I had written, but remembered that I had burned it to ashes in a small fit of pique.

Needless to say, none of the others were pleased when the fire department came.

I didn't really care at the time and I didn't now. This was the longest I had gone without being able to figure out a jutsu for the situation, even with a partner. The one thing Sasori and I knew was that we were running out of time.

Whatever had flung us into this dimension obviously didn't care about how much of a disturbance that was. However, what was even more of a concern was that the-'rift', let us call it-was slowly closing. When the entirety of the Akatsuki was transported here, a tear between the two universes had been created. It wasn't visible to the naked eye, but I could feel it, as could most likely every other member of the Akatsuki that had arrived. It was a feeling of displacement, of feeling like we didn't quite belong. Of course, to make things even more difficult than traveling across time and space, the rift that we were teleported through was shrinking. I won't get into the technicalities. Suffice it to say with my Tsukiyomi, I could see it, but not clearly. Mind, it wasn't decreasing rapidly, per se, but it was getting smaller every week.

I sighed and tilted my head back, thinking. I still had a long way to go, and nothing pleasing to report to Leader.

Aya's POV

The clock glowed a soft 6:00 am at me. I looked up at the ceiling and stared blankly. Making up my mind, I go dressed and moved down the stairs. I headed out the back door and moved down the walkway, pausing only to remove my flipflops before stepping on the beach. It had been a few days since I was last out here and I missed the water. My family sometimes joked that if we hadn't been human, we should have been born as dolphins. Or manatees.

Well, this is Florida.

I hadn't gotten too far down the beach before I heard Cat shrieking behind me.

"Hey, wait up!"

With an exaggerated sigh, I slowed my pace until I was plodding forward and laughed as Catherine caught up to me.

"Where's your usual tagalong?" Cat blinked.

"Oh, Deidara? I don't know. Anyway, I need to talk to you about him."

We linked arms and proceeded down the beach. I began the conversation, "Yeeeeeeees?"

"Well...we, um, you know how you guys went to their training grounds yesterday?"

"It's a miracle we didn't die. Deidara kept you company, right?"

Cat picked up a shell, frowned at it, then threw it back in the water.

"Well, he started flirting with me yesterday."

I raised an eyebrow, "And? What exactly happened?"

As she filled me in, I glanced briefly over my shoulder and saw Konan and Kisame trailing us. Shrugging, I bent to look at a possible sand dollar, but it was only a small piece, so I discarded it.

We climbed up on our own 'Pride Rock' that jutted out of our part of the water. Noticing that we stopped, Kisame and Konan kept strolling by us farther down the beach, but always within sight. Cat an I sat next to each other, our legs partially immersed in the water.

"Now," Cat said conversationally, "What's bothering you? You never leave the house this early unless you really need to think. You like listening to me sing in the morning."

She laid her head on my shoulder and I sighed, "Just-thinking. Really. Nothing much. Hidan's still hounding me as much as ever; it would be more if it weren't for Konan or Tobi. I'm grateful for the chaperoning, but at the same time I feel like I'm a kid again."

"Well, you're still on the Pill, yes?"

I blinked. "Uh."

Cat splashed my legs with her feet to wake me up. "Sorry, that was slightly unexpected. I thought I'd hear that from Rian, not you."

"And yet I'm the one usually with the most eventful sex life."

I snorted, "Back on subject, yes, I'm on the Pill. Otherwise I can't move for six hours every day of my period each month."

"Well, you are the untouched one here. I got to ask."

"Thanks," I said dryly, "At least you're not thinking of feeding me to a dragon."

"I need someone to save me from Deidara pouncing on me."

"I thought you wanted him to pounce on you."

Cat cackled, "Hah, not yet. Not until I want him to."

"Christ, you're such a plotter."

"...Thank you?"

I squeezed her arm, "But, Cat." I hesitated. "You know they're not normal people. They're S-class ninjas. Criminals. You know that they're incredibly dangerous."

Cat looked up from wiggling her toes in the water, "But they're still people. Somewhere."

I shrugged. "Yeah, they are. And who am I kidding? They're some of the coolest characters out there. But they can't stay here, and Itachi-slash-Sasori are having a hard enough time figuring out how to get them home. Why should we flirt and get in relationships with them when they're going to leave? Besides, it's not like we'll change what they'll do from now on. Killing for them is a way of life. Staging coups and wreaking havoc and stealing money is what they like doing for fun. How long will they restrain themselves to avoid discovery?"

Cat leaned back on her hands, "We're reiterating all the arguments we made before. Why does it sound like-to me-that you're only trying to reconvince yourself that all of this-" she waved a hand around us and the house "-is a bad idea?"

I sighed and waved to a turtle swimming below us.

"Because if I were in an established something with one of them, I'd feel like they'd have something to come back to? And because if they do come back I know I'm sane. Besides that, I don't want to do casual sex-just not something I'm comfortable with."

Cat grinned and I hastily added, "But it's still a bad idea!"

"Christ on a pogo stick, Aya, you sound conflicted."

I snorted. "Well, it's not like I wanted it to happen."

She shrugged. "I say, just roll with it. don't do anything definite until Hidan gives an indication one way or the other."

"Sounds like a good enough plan to me-ow." I grimaced and Cat looked over.

"What is it?"

"Get your feet out of the water, Cat."

"Why-ouch. Oh, shit." Cat quickly yanked her feet out of the water and I looked down to my legs. Sea nettles. Great. with a careful shake, I got them loose and pulled both my legs up to take a look. A red streak wrapped around my right calf and crossed just above my left one, but that was it. Cat had a couple red spots on her ankle, and that was all, thank goodness.

"Jellyfish? Seriously?"

Cat helped me up. "Well, it is the beginning-ish of their season, isn't it? It's only the first week of July. Can you walk?"

I nodded after taking a couple steps forward.

"At least they were only sea nettles, but I'm surprised they were so close to shore."

"They were kind of dead-looking. Less puffy? Maybe the storm a couple days ago pushed them in."

"Who knows? It's possible."

We walked back inside the house and just got past the sofa when Rian barreled out of the family room."Hey guys-what happened?"

Rian stepped into the kitchen and started looking for the meat tenderizer.

I responded for the both of us, "We were sitting out on Pride Rock and some dead jellyfish joined us. Most exciting thing that happened all morning."

Rian turned back with the tenderizer and waggled her eyebrows at both of us. I started laughing and Cat chuckled as Rian herded us up the stairs and into the bathroom. We both sat on the edge of the tub and started filling it with hot water. Nearly identical hisses of pain came out of both mine and Cat's mouths as the water hit our wounds.

Rian smirked, "I really shouldn't laugh, but the pair of you sound like a pair of grumpy cats."

I replied with a deadpan thanks while Cat gave Rian her best bitch-face. Rian just giggled and hopped up onto the counter by the sink. I sighed.

"I've set a timer for fifteen minutes."

"Thanks. I don't know if I can handle this for that long, though."

"What was it that Gai always said? Think of it as training?"

"Smartass."

"That's not nice. Besides, I thought you liked my ass."

"Oh, well, damn." Rian looked between Cat and I and grinned. "You need me to leave you two alone? You can always make each other feel better without my interfering."

"But Rian, we wouldn't want to leave you out." Cat simpered and I snorted before covering my mouth.

Rian waved a hand idly. "Nah, I'll just get you guys later."

"What in the fucking fuck am I missing? Are you seriously proposing a threesome and you bitches didn't invite me? What the hell is this?" Hidan opened the bathroom door and strode inside, pausing to look at all of us before deciding to sit on top of the toilet.

"Sorry, Hidan, but we flirt all the time. It's a best friend thing." Cat didn't sound very sorry at all.

Hidan's voice echoed off the walls. "Heard you three got stung by some ugly-ass fish. Came to see what the hell happened."

My voice was caustic. "Ever heard of jellyfish, Hidan? That's what got us."

Hidan blanched. "Jellyfish?"

I blinked. "Hidan...Are you scared of jellyfish? You're immortal, or did I forget?"

It was then that Leader, of all people, stuck his head around the doorway and responded. "That was why he won't take any missions in Wave country."

Hidan opened his mouth but Pein just gave him the eye. "I know about your escapades with Aya, Hidan. She needs some kind of advantage. Is he bothering you excessively, Aya-san?"

Rian, Cat, Pein, & Hidan all looked at me. Barely able to keep my face straight, I replied as I could, "His company is not not entirely objectionable. I thank you for your concern."

Rian mouthed, 'Seriously?' at me and my face twitched. Cat was biting her lip until it was almost white. Hidan just looked like he got hit by a two-by-four.

Leader just nodded his head. "Well, let me or Kakuzu know if he becomes too much."

"Yes sir." At my response, he ghosted off to who knows where.

Rian's POV

"Why does everything go down before I'm up? It's only eight in the morning. " I said grouchily.

My timer on my phone went off and Aya and Cat both lifted their feet out of the water. I handed them towels and they dried off before dabbing the tenderizer on their stings.

"How are you feeling, guys? The water help at all?"

Aya looked up from where she was drying off.

"In response to your first question, because everyone wakes up earlier than you do now. Blame the ninja. In response to the second question, yes, I feel better. As to the third, the water helped. Now the stings are just-" Aya wrinkled her nose.

Cat chimed in. "Prickly?"

Aya nodded. "Yeah. It's more annoying than anything else now," Her eyes slid to Hidan and she smirked, "Even Hidan. Which is really saying something."

Aforementioned ninja sputtered as we laughed.

I said, "My poor boo, I'm sorry. Want a kiss to make it better?

She grinned. "As lovely as that sounds-"

"DO IT!" Hidan shouted and Aya covered his mouth with a hand.

"-I'm afraid I must decline."

"DAMMIT!"

Aya just stared at Hidan and removed her hand. "You are such a moron." She then gave him a light thwack upside the head, the silver-haired ninja cursing.

Aya just walked back out the door, the rest of us following. Frowning, she shook her hand a little, "Ow. I forgot he had such a hard head-"

"That's what she said!" Cat and I high-fived and Aya groaned.

"Not. Helping."

"Way to talk like I'm not here, bitches. What the hell is your problem?"

"Did you hear something?" Aya called to me.

I snickered. Cat had returned to her room, and I turned around to head toward the kitchen. I was hungry.

"Nope!" I replied.

"SHIT, SERIOUSLY?"

Cackling, I jumped down the stairs and headed to the kitchen. Even though the girls didn't let me cook much, when I really exerted myself (which was rare), I made a mean breakfast. I had to be fast, because as soon as the smell of bacon and sausage wafted through the house, I knew the horde would stampede in. About a half hour after I started with the pancakes and waffles, Sasori was the first to arrive and stood in the doorway.

"Do you require assistance?"

I turned the music down. "Do you know how to work any of this stuff?"

The corners of the redhead's mouth tilted up in a slight smile. "I'm sure I can figure it out without any major problems."

I raised up my hands in surrender. "As long as you don't blow up anything."

"I am nothing like my partner." Sasori summoned a puppet and I jumped. After giving it a couple of shifty glances, I continued to cook.

"Well, wash your hands-this is weird. Sasori, do I talk to you or the puppet?"

Clack, clack, went the puppet.

I blinked at it. Then tilted my head. Then poked it.

CLACK.

I started. "Shit, sorry."

Click, click, click.

I looked over to the puppeteer and was surprised to see him smiling. I softened.

"You should smile more often, Sasori."

His eyes slid over to meet mine. "Rare is it that we are given the opportunity, Rian-san. And you talk to me. I'm the one controlling it, after all."

"God, y'all are a mopey bunch." I said as I continued to work. I directed the puppet via Sasri to start the stove and get the eggs going while I rooted out the boxes of sausage and bacon. Ninja seemed to have ridiculously fast metabolisms. Aya joked it was like feeding a sports team every day, except there were only ten of them.

Needless to say, the amount of money we spent on food skyrocketed.

"Mopey?" the puppet paused in its work.

"Uh." I began to open and arrange the bacon on plates before throwing them in the microwave like a godless heathen. If I had more time I'd cook them by hand, but oh, well.

"Depressed? Or letting your angst at life get you down. I mean, I get you guys had shitty pasts and all, and I know your lifestyle doesn't exactly allow for happy times. But if that's the case, why don't you make your own?"

"I don't understand the concept."

I glanced at him. "Yes, you do. What do you think that moment was that you engineered with the puppet?"

He blinked. "That counts."

I rolled my eyes a little as I kept working.

"Yes, it does."

"Ah."

The next half-hour or so were worked in relative silence before I ventured another question.

"So...why is your puppet helping?" 'And not you?' seemed to hang in the air.

Sasori shrugged. "Keep in practice, refine my control."

"Oh."

He raised an eyebrow. "You expected a longer answer?"

I shrugged. "I'm a little scared of answering that with a 'yes'."

Sasori chuckled a little as he moved to one of the diner seats. With twitches of his fingers, he continued moving his puppet about."

"Did you really make Sasori-danna laugh, un?"

Deidara took a seat on one side of his partner, Tobi on the other.

"Hi, Rian-chan!"

I waved at Tobi. "Hey, guys. And Deidara, the moment presented itself, so he laughed. It's a gift."

"Don't I know it." Cat said as she walked in. "Need help?"

"I was thinking buffet style with everything on the table. Everyone can just grab something or whatever. And thanks Cat, but Sasori's puppet is helping me."

I pointed to where it was rinsing and washing the pans we used. Cat did a double-take.

"Holy shit!"

Deidara patted the seat next to him and as Cat took it, he commented, "We're used to it, un. Some of us think that Sasori should have been a housewife or a cleaning service to make extra cash, but he never listened to us."

"And he wonders why." I muttered under my breath. Tobi, who was the only one to hear me, giggled.

"This is nothing like what we have for breakfast, Rian, Cat," said Konan as she joined the discussion, "For us, it's usually rice, some vegetables, and a small amount of meat.

"Well," I replied cheerfully, "This is full of sugar, preservatives, fat, and carbs, with no positive nutritional value whatsoever. Mostly," I amended, thinking, "There's protein in the bacon, eggs, and sausage."

"You people eat things like this every day? How do you stay in shape?"

Cat answered as she speared an egg. "People don't. Most of the population in this country is either overweight or obese."

"But what if you are invaded?" This came from Kakuzu, who leaned against the counter by the stove.

"Other countries would be insane to. Yay economics and politics."

"Let's not talk about that over breakfast." Aya came in the kitchen and grabbed a plate. "This is for Itachi. Anybody know what he likes?"

Resounding silence.

She sighed. "Thanks, guys." Aya started getting a little of everything as the others kept eating.

It was then that Zetsu stuck his head through the hole in the door. "Is that sausage? Get us some, woman. Please."

I blinked and exchanged a look with Cat. "Woman? Really?"

"Please, Rian-san?"

I smiled and gave him a plateful. "Here ya go."

"Thank-you. Whatever."

"Aya, hey, where's Hidan? Isn't he with you, un?"

"Nope." She called over her shoulder. "Thank God."

The bomb specialist started laughing.

"Woman, get me a plate, too."

I shot a glare at Kakuzu. "Get it yourself. It's right there."

Kakuzu didn't move. "What about Zetsu?"

"He's a special case because a) He was outside and b) Asked nicely. Unlike you."

Kakuzu straightened up to his full height, while the rest of the group looked on with amusement.

"But I thought you liked it when I was bossy."

My mouth dropped.

Uh.

WHAT?

It was Sasori, surprisingly, who came to the rescue with his puppet. It set a plate next to Kakuzu.

"That should satisfy your needs, Kakuzu-san." Sasori's voice was slightly patronizing. "Rian-san, is there anything else you need done?"

Before I could say anything, the puppet took the plate that Zetsu stuck through the door and set it next to the sink.

"Uh, no, Sasori." I sounded dazed. The thought 'WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT' kept circling through my brain.

It was then that Aya came back in the room, empty-handed. After surveying the shell-shocked expressions on everyone's faces except Kakuzu and Sasori, she shrugged, ignoring the scene. After getting Cheerios from the pantry, she poured herself a bowl and hopped up on the counter.

"You're a godless heathen, you are." Cat glared at Aya's breakfast.

Said godless heathen continued eating her cereal. "That's nice."

"This food is awesome, un." Deidara was staring unbelievingly at Aya's breakfast of choice. "Why aren't you eating any of it?"

"I don't like bacon or sausage or basically any breakfast food. Think of it as more for you."

"Say hello to the resident picky eater, guys." Catherine cleared her plate and took the puppets' place at the sink, continuing to wash the dishes. "She hates most breakfast foods, fruits, and vegetables. She was voted Most Likely To Die of a Heart Attack Before 35 in high school."

"If I was elected for that, better than some of the other superlatives. Best Eyes? Perfect Date? Puh-leeze."

I wordlessly dried and put away the plates. To Aya's credit, she tried new things every once in a while, but generally found things too bitter or the texture unbearably weird. Looking around, I noticed that Konan, Tobi and Zetsu had disappeared from sight. Kisame and Pein had snuck in and out again with food a while ago. Kakuzu was in his favorite perch in the family room (window seat), while Sasori had vanished up the stairs. Deidara had finished his food, but was looking on with interest. Hidan was leaning just out of sight of the kitchen, gleefully eavesdropping.

Aya gave Catherine a hug, and it was then, predictably, that Deidara opened his mouth.

"Catherine-chan, is there something I need to know about, yeah?"

I took a seat on one of the barstools and put my head on my arms, watching the exchange.

"No, Deidara." Cat retorted as Aya laughed. "I'm very happily straight."

Deidara looked blank.

"Stiff as an uncooked noodle."

He still looked lost. I guess there's some sort of language translation barrier, I thought.

"Heterosexual. Mostly."

A question mark was practically visible over his head.

Cat looked exasperated. "For God's sake, I'm attracted to men! Jesus."

Aya cracked up, leaning against the counter, head in her hands. I had done the same. Hidan hopped up on the counter next to Aya, casually resting a hand on her shoulder.

Deidara just grinned, satisfied. "Good. Means I have nothing to worry about, un."

"Excuse you?" Cat raised an eyebrow.

I was getting a little fed up at this point. "Uh, no, excuse you all. What the hell happened while I was asleep?!"

Aya grinned at me. "It's a long story. I'll explain later."

She did.

And I nearly flipped a gasket.

Shitty place to end it, I know, but after this the plotline will finally pick up. Thank goodness. I know I said this in previous chapters, but I'm thinking of rewriting the beginning because I really hate how bad the quality of the first several chapters are. And I think there are a couple canonical changes I need to do.

I am aware in the previous chapters I may have said they're high school students, yet in this chapter, they've graduated. I'm fixing it. Just go with it until I update the beginning and the next chapter. :D

In the meanwhile, look forward to the next chapter! YAY PLOTLINE PROGRESS INSTEAD OF POINTLESS CHARACTERIZATION AND SHIT.