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"Do you ever sleep here anymore?" Rose asked.

I closed the front door quietly, knowing Alice was probably still sleeping in her room.

"Sometimes."

"Must be really good if you're stealing away at night and sneaking back before the sun's up…" Her face was gentle, softly lit by the desk lamp. We only had one computer in the house at the moment but this is why it worked; I did my papers as soon as they were assigned, Rose awoke at dawn to work, and Alice usually ended up pulling last minute all nighters. We had a system.

"Yeah… it's not like that actually."

She cocked her head, sliding her glasses off and rubbing her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't go over there for sex. I go over there to … be with him. We sleep."

Rose looked dubiously at me. "You just sleep?"

I shrugged. "Yeah."

"That's… interesting."

"Well, it's usually so late by the time one or both of us is done with work…and then I get there and he's either working on work stuff and I'm reading or on his computer and then we're falling asleep."

"But you get to talk, right?" Rose pressed.

"Oh, totally. We do talk. It's good, I guess, but… I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting a little frustrated," I admitted. I yawned, kicking my shoes off.

"Especially after that first night," Rose teased, fanning herself. "Good Lord."

"Ha, yeah. Exactly." I gathered my shoes and bag. "I'm gonna go lay down for a bit."

It was starting to cool down outside. Summer was giving way to fall, and although we didn't have dramatic changing of the leaves like they did on the east coast, there were definite changes in the weather. Either way, I loved Oakland's temperature. It was never too hot, always comfortably cool. My mother had been so confused until I'd explained that Oakland and LA are so far away from each other they might as well be separate states. People think of California and they see palm trees and surfers.

Yeah. The Bay's nothing like that. And while I did love the periodic road trips the girls and I took down south, I really loved living in Northern California.

Class was about to end, so I quickly finished the letter I'd written to my mom and stuffed it in to an envelope. She hadn't quite caught on to email; she still called it "going into the internet", which sounded like we were diving in, like we were in The Matrix or something. The thought made me laugh. I loved my mom.

And I loved letters. I did email and text a lot, like anyone, but there was something special about pouring my words out on paper. It was like journaling, but with a purpose, with the intent of sharing.

Once my film critiquing class had let out, I joined the river of students streaming out of the building and on to the quad. I stamped and kissed my mother's letter and slipped it into the same mailbox I always used. Unlocking my bike, I situated my bag and jumped on, glad that it was a no–work day. I'd taken it easy with my course load this time around, even opting for one online class. For someone who had been in all AP classes in high school, and who'd always mixed classes with partying every summer, it was a welcome respite to not be so bogged down with constant school work.

I called Edward when I got home, leaving a message on his voicemail. I hadn't seen him in a day or two. That's how it went with us… two days on and two days off. Well, not exactly. But almost.

There was a deep craving within me, though. I wanted to be with him. And dammit, I wanted him in other ways too. I couldn't understand why he hadn't tried to get physical again. Our kisses left me wanting. I always felt like we were on the precipice of something hot and then, nothing.

He didn't call me back until eleven o'clock that night. The girls and I had made dinner and watched old seasons of Lost for awhile. I'd resigned myself to a solo night, which was fine. I'd done it before Edward, why not after?

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. What are you doing?"

Maybe it was PMS. Maybe I was just sleep deprived. Maybe I was sexually deprived.

But I was annoyed.

"Lying in bed, about to go to sleep."

"Want to come over?"

"No. I can sleep here." I felt a little jolt of guilt, being short with him.

"You can sleep here, too."

"All we do is sleep there. I'm tired. I called you hours ago; I had the afternoon and evening off. It's too late now," I sighed, my ire fading into resignation.

"Too late?" he echoed, and it sounded like he – or I – meant other things.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"All right. Sleep well, Bella."

For some reason I wanted to cry. "Okay."

My phone woke me up at six o'clock in the morning. Yawning widely, I squinted at the number.

Edward.

"Hello?"

"Hey. I'm outside."

"I'll… I'll be right out."

Cursing lightly, I tossed the phone down and wrapped my bathrobe around me, the completely impractical one that came just barely to my knees. Mornings were always so chilly.

But, oh. Oh God. He looked so good, always but especially now in the warm early morning sun, strands of his hair looking blonde. I quivered and melted inside. Tiny earthquakes. Lava.

He walked in the gate as I held it open.

He followed me through the front door.

He followed me into my house and down the hall and into my room.

He handed me a cup of something hot. "Here."

"Thanks."

We sipped in silence, standing in my room.

"So… you're going to work I guess?"

"Yeah, on my way now."

"This is new," I said, gesturing between us, holding up my hot tea.

"You were pissed off at me last night," he said, his eyes locked with mine.

"I was…" Emotional. Horny. Lonely. Disappointed. "Tired."

"Don't do that. Don't play games. If you were angry with me just say it." His voice never rose.

"Okay, I was mad. Just a little bit. I wanted to see you." I ducked my head and sat down, careful to keep my legs closed in this silly little get up.

"I wanted to see you too."

"Why do we always hang out so late? Why can't you come earlier?"

"Sometimes work goes late." He shrugged, sitting next to me. "Sometimes it doesn't, and I fall asleep at home. I'm sorry… that you felt that way last night."

"Why don't we… do it anymore?" My face burned with embarrassment, but I needed to know.

He didn't say anything for a long time.

I finished my tea and set the empty cup on my nightstand.

"That's not why I bring you over. I like being with you. I like having you in my house, I like looking at you. And yeah, I like being inside you. But sometimes, it's just not what I'm thinking about. And sometimes you don't even look like you want it."

"I do want it," I said quietly, my heart hammering because he was so ruggedly handsome, so gorgeous and almost too big for my room. I was afraid he'd disappear. He's imperfect, and he's always late. And it annoys me. And I'm so attracted to him in ways that scare me because they're so intense, so strong. "I want you… all the time."

He stood up, pulling me to my feet. "I have to go. I'll be late if I don't. But if you want it, then next time… take it."

He snarled his fingers into my knotty morning hair, bringing my face to his so he could kiss me. "Take it," he whispered against my mouth and I swear to God I felt it in my panties.

Morning shift at work. Night classes. Nice little switch up.

I rode my bike through the forest between campus and the streets of Berkeley, loving the cold night time air as I flew through it.

At the last second I turned left instead of right.

I rode through slightly unfamiliar streets, ones I knew primarily because I'd driven - but never cycled - through them.

Eventually Edward's house came into view. His light was on; his truck was parked in the driveway. Maybe he was waiting for my call. Maybe he was dozing.

I rode right up, hopping off and walking my bike to the front door.

He opened the door as soon as I knocked, not looking all that surprised. "Bella."

"Hi," I said, feeling a little awkward.

He stood aside, taking my bike and bringing it to lean against the wall just inside the door.

Belatedly, I wondered if I was interrupting his work time. "Are you busy? I could – "

"Not really." He smiled down at me, his hands in his pockets.

I smiled, unzipping my jacket and leaving it with my bike and my bag. I took my shoes off.

He watched.

"Edward."

But he already knew.

He let me back him on to the couch, and straddle him, and kiss him the way I wanted to.

And when he'd had enough of that, he took me to his room.

Even then he let me lead. I shook with nerves as we took off our clothes, nerves and excitement. He showed me what he liked, how to use my hands when I used my mouth and I did my best, wanting to pleasure him the way he'd pleasured me.

"If you don't stop I'm going to come," he said, and I liked how out of control he sounded for once.

So I stopped and pulled him on top of me and he kissed me hard; I could feel teeth with his tongue. He pulled back, long enough to put a condom on, and then entered me fast, putting my legs over his shoulders and driving into me.

"Better?" He grunted, smiling down at me.

"Yeah," I gasped back, my body sliding up with the bed with the force of his thrusts.

He pulled out and turned me around so I was on all fours and took me like that, reaching his hand around so he could finger me at the same time. I came first, jerking back against him and he came after, obviously have been waiting for me. We slid down, a crumpled sweaty heap of skin and heavy breathing.

I didn't mind when he fell asleep inside me this time.