I do not own The Hunger Games

Chapter Eleven- Random acts of Kindness

(Katniss)

My screams wake me. I jump up into a sitting position, terrified. Then I freeze. I double over, like one does when they are about to be sick. I clutch my middle with my arms and slowly try to lie back down. But I can't. So much pain. So many memories. So many, many deaths. I'm scared, no I'm horrified. I can't move from this position. I must stay here, that's best for everyone. It's what's best for me. I try to hum, wanting to ease the burning. My eyes are open wide but I can see nothing but the blurred image of my legs. My sub-conscious chose the valley song. I remember Peeta; I know he's in this room. As much as I want to see him, I'm scared too. Not scared that he'll ask me what's wrong with me, just scared to see him. Scared to smell and feel him, because I know that at any second, that might be gone forever. That brings on another round of pain. My vision is blurrier than ever and I can feel my heartbeat through my entire head. I think I might black out but then I feel a hand on my back.

"Katniss?"

The second I don't respond, I'm curled in his lap. His face buried in my hair. Again, I attack the pain and memories with him by my side. I have to fight off the urge to jump out of his lap and run away out of fear. He lays down with me, his arms looped round my back.

"It's early." He says.

"Wha..What time?" I choke out.

"The sun is just coming up."

"My scream woke me, that's why."

"Tell me what's wrong Katniss."

"I told you yesterday Peeta. I'm fine."

"Please stop. You don't have to convince me your okay. I want to know what's going on."

I don't say anything. He kisses my forehead and whispers,

"Please Katniss?"

I don't think I've ever really given into Peeta before, and never ever on something this big. But this spring morning I did,

"I'm scared about losing you. I'm scared to take pleasure in anything because I know it could all be gone in seconds. Prim disappeared in a blink of an eye, so did Finnick, so did Gale, and so did you Peeta."

That stupid noise I make when I cry came up but I swallow it and carry on.

"So every morning I'm frozen as everything rushes through my head and eventually I find a way to lock them away so I can get on with my day."

"And humming gives you the strength to do that?" He asks stroking my hair and obviously trying to put this together.

"Not strength, it just relaxes the burning."

He sits in thought.

"What makes you happiest Katniss? When now in your life are you happiest?"

I almost answer, in the woods, immediately but I catch my tongue. These days the woods are not my safe-haven. It is true the woods make me feel free and alive. But the don't do much else for me now. I think over other times, the book is probably my best bet. But if I'm honest the happiest I feel are when I come down stairs and Peeta has made me breakfast, or when Greasy Sae brings us diner, or when Callie draws me a picture. I'm happiest when I think about all the people in the seam helping each other build houses.

"I'm happiest when someone does something nice."

I explain to him all the times I've felt my heart swell because of their selflessness. He smiles, and it reassures me. I've grown to love his smile more than I ever thought possible. There are little flitters in my stomach when he puts a hand on my cheek.

"Then that's your answer Katniss."

"What is?"

"When you freeze just think about all the times you've seen an act of kindness. I mean you got more color in your cheeks and your breathing steadied just because you were talking to me about it."

"That just might work Peeta."

"If it doesn't we'll give Dr. Aurelius a call."

I nod and think about how much harder it must be for Peeta to wake up and not know which of his terrifying memories is real.

"How do you do it Peeta? How do you get everything sorted out?"

He laughs and shakes his head like he's about to tell me something ridiculous.

"Well I mean, it feels like I go through my entire life every morning. Shaking away anything shiny and only focusing on the plain memories."

We lay there a while longer then get up and eat breakfast. The morning is spent on the couch reading our book. It's nice to hear the stories and I feel that little bubble of hope and I even snicker when we read the part about Peeta dropping the flour.

After we have finished its around two in the afternoon, over lunch Peeta says,

"It needs something."

"It needs more stories."

"Well we don't have many more do we?"

"No, but we will someday."

As I say this, I realize my future is Peeta. I smile a little and look into his eyes. I don't think any future with those blue, protective eyes, could be all that bad.

"We could ask Haymitch. I'm sure he has tons." He suggests.

"Sounds great, we should've gone over there a long time ago."

We put our shoes on and head out the door. I don't hear Haymitch shouting as we run up to the door. I knock. No answer. Peeta trys the knob, it's unlocked.

The place smells of alcohol. It's dark and stuffy. Haymitch is passed out in a chair.

Peeta hesitates.

"I know what to do." I tell him.

I walk into the kitchen and fill a pot up with ice water. I dump it on his head.

He yells and looks up, his eyes light in recognition when he sees us.

"Well it has been a while. How are my star-crossed lovers? Nice of you to stop by anyway. Wh..Why am I soaking wet?"

Peeta and I laugh at the same time. We get Haymitch cleaned up, well Peeta gets Haymitch cleaned up. I straighten up the house, just so it's livable. I threw away the empty bottles and clean up some of the spills. I heat up the bread Peeta made for him and pour a glass of milk because who knows when he last actually ate food. They come back downstairs a few minutes later. Talking back and forth like the used to, it's a nice sight to see.

"So I've been thinking about raising geese…" Haymitch says with a chuckle.

When we don't say anything he goes on to say,

"What have you both been doing to keep busy?"

"We're writing a book." I say.

He laughs and almost falls to the floor. For some reason it rubs me the wrong way and I snap back,

"Well it's a better hobby than getting drunk and passing out everyday."

He laughs again and I give up on defending myself, it really doesn't matter. After all this is Haymitch.

Peeta continues to explain on about how we want him to put something in our book. He agrees and tells us he'll write it in a book and give it to us. We leave when he starts to get cranky, but not before I make sure he eats all the food I laid out for him.

Peeta goes home to take a shower and get some clothes. I go home and walk upstairs and take a shower and change. I really smelled quite horrible.

Greasy Sae stops by with Callie later and brings us some soup and Peeta gives her some bread. We talk for a minute and Peeta plays will Callie. Callie gives me a big hug before they leave and I feel a little bit of the innocence Peeta told me about. It's like a small bundle of hope wraps their arms around your neck.

I'm tired early so we go upstairs. I get in bed and Peeta turns to get in his chair. I grab his hand again.

"Stay with me."

"I'm better Katniss, but not that much better."

"Please?"

"Katniss…"

"Why do we have to go through this every night? Just give in already." I almost shout.

He laughs and though he doesn't give in, he kisses me. This kiss isn't like one of those short kisses we've shared since we've been home, it's like the one we shared on the night he gave me the pearl. My heart is going crazy and my stomach is erupting with those fluttery things. It isn't long before I feel that hunger. He pulls back and closes his eyes for a second. I try and catch my breath. He's fighting off nightmares and I feel bad that I made him do that. After a minute he looks up and says,

"Sorry..."

I cut him off, "No I'm sorry."

I want to kiss him again but I know his nightmares would rage and I feel almost lightheaded.

Thank you for reading! PLEASE leave a review. It means so much to me. I tried really hard to get this up fast and I will do the same with the next chapter. Hoped you liked it.

Kat8100- Thank you! But I don't think she would have realized it that fast, at this point Peeta has been home about eight months, and Katniss is a stubborn girl. I see her as sacred about her feelings. But I hope you liked her feelings in this chapter (;