The next day Grandpa sat looking through his family photo album which was filled with pictures of his many past wives. He felt an intensely bittersweet wave of nostalgia come over him as he leafed through the pages remembering the women he had wed over the past four and a half centuries. He had love for all the wives he'd had and still visited them very often but still most of them had been merely human and it had been so long since he had found one who was already an actual vampire, and certainly not a countess.
He thought about his encounter with the Countess Vienna Cava as he had been all day and he remembered how striking she had seemed from the moment he had laid his eyes on her. She was a breathtaking beauty to behold for certain, and yet there seemed a cold bitterness in her that was unlike in any vampiress he had met before. He wondered what could have happened that would've caused her to be this way. He considered asking her about but then quickly realized that would only turn her away from him further. He decided he must somehow impress her to get onto her good side before he could find out about her troubles.
As he was pondering these things he suddenly heard the front doors open and looked up to see Eddie coming in home from another day at school. He noticed he had a rather unnerved expression on his face.
"Hello Eddie," he said as he put his book aside. "How was school today? Did you impress that girl you want to ask to the Halloween dance?"
"No, and that's the problem," Eddie said wearily as he sat down on the sofa beside his Grandpa. "I don't understand. I followed your advice, I opened myself up to her and I didn't bite as I told her how pretty she is and I offered to walk her home after school and carry her books for her."
"So what went wrong?" asked Grandpa curiously.
"I don't know," admitted Eddie. "I just started telling her about you and Mom and Pop and where we live and she gave me this weird look and walked away from me laughing like she didn't believe me."
"Hmm..." Grandpa mused. "It seems I need to try a more romantic approach."
"Huh?" asked Eddie.
"Oh, I mean you need to try a more romantic approach," Grandpa quickly corrected himself.
"But how?" asked Eddie.
"Well, let's go down to my laboratory and see what we've got," he said.
So they went down into Grandpa's private chamber where he kept his own laboratory which was filled with walls of books and shelves and cabinets of flasks, beakers, and jars of herbs and many assorted oddities. And in the very center was a large black cauldron in which he made potions and other kinds of remedies.
"Okay, now let's see what we have here," said Grandpa as he went up to a shelf which was full of assorted vials of pre-made potions. "Now we want you to seem authentically cultured and irresistibly charming and romantic. So let's see... we've got English, Italian, French, and Spanish here for those. Which one would you like to try?"
"I don't know," Eddie said.
"Then let's try all of them out and see which one works best," suggested Grandpa. "Now, what does this girl, Penelope, look like?"
"She was long blonde hair that is pulled back into ponytails with curly ends and has milky white skin and sea green eyes and a few freckles on each cheek and two dimples on either side. She wears a yellow sweater with a plaid skirt and long white stockings and black buckled shoes."
As Eddie spoke of her description Grandpa made motions with his hands underneath a beam of light that filtered out of the ceiling and then right before his eyes an image of the exact description he had given appeared in front of him.
"Now, of course this is only a hologram of the girl you want to go to the Halloween dance with," Grandpa explained. "But it will have the same reactions to your new charms as the real one will, at least I believe so."
Eddie grinned enthusiastically. "Okay, Grandpa," he said. "Let's get started."
So Grandpa handed Eddie one of the vials and he promptly swallowed all of the contents of it which tasted like a strange mixture of fish and chips. Once he was done he turned to the hologram of Penelope and spoke in a deep English baritone.
"Greetings, Miss Penelope! You like very fancy today. I'd be most honored if you were to accompany me to the dance come this Halloween for you are of no other girl of this school, and I quote 'Did my heart love till now? Forswear it sight, For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.'"
The hologram of Penelope giggled and put her hand to her chest and said, "Why of course, I'd love to."
Grandpa looked impressed. "Very good," he said. "Now let's try another one."
He handed Eddie another vial which he swallowed right away and this one tasted like a double chocolate mousse and when he spoke it was in a charming French accent.
"Comment allez-vous?" he said as he reached out and graciously took the hologram Penelope's hand and kissed it. "Danserez-vous avec moi, le coup manqué ? Will vous go to zee dance wit me, mademoiselle?"
The hologram Penelope exhaled with bliss and then nodded enthusiastically.
"This one's even better!" exclaimed Grandpa delightedly.
He then handed Eddie another vial and he swallowed the contents instantly which tasted like a large pizza pie with extra cheese and pepperoni and when he spoke it was in a very sweet Italian accent.
"Boun giorno Signorina Penelope! I would 'a like for 'a you to come with 'a me to la Halloween 'a danza, per favor?"
The hologram Penelope grinned from ear to ear and replied, "I'd love to, Signor Eduardo!"
"Excellent!" declared Grandpa impressively.
He then gave Eddie the last vial and when he drank its contents they tasted like a hot chilli casserole and when he spoke it was in a most disarming Spanish accent.
"Buonos Dias, Senora Penelope. I was wondering if you might like to go with me to the Halloween dance with me and flamenco, por favor?" He held out his hand and began to do a little flamenco dance.
The hologram Penelope took his hand and began to dance in rhythm with him and replied, "Si, si, Senor!"
"Bravo, bravo!" exclaimed Grandpa clapping his hands. "They all seemed to work great. Which one would you like to keep for tomorrow, Eddie?"
"All of them!" Eddie said at once, now speaking once again in his normal accent.
"Okay," said Grandpa. "I'll start on making the potion for you now and should have it ready by tomorrow morning."
Lily was dusting around the foyer and arranging the cobwebs when suddenly she heard the doorbell ring. She went to answer it and found the vampire, werewolf, witch, and large headed green fellow from the concert last night standing at the doorstep.
"Mrs. Herman Munster, I presume?" asked the vampire in a deep Transylvania accent.
"Yes, how may I help you?" replied Lily warmly.
"You may remember us from the concert you and your family went to last night," continued the vampire. "I'm Vlad, and this is Frankie, and this is Agatha, and this is Wally," he indicated himself and the others. "We're the Groovie Ghoulies."
"Why of course I remember you! It's a great pleasure to see you again!" Lily said delightedly.
"We're here to see your husband," the vampire continued coming to the point of their visit. "We thought he was sensational last night at our show and we'd like to try out his musical abilities for our future shows."
"Well I'm sure Herman we'll be happy when he comes home from the parlor this evening. He should be home any minute now in fact. Please come in and make yourselves at home." She showed them inside and invited them to sit down on the sofa which they did.
"May I get you anything? Some bat cookies or some fingernail sandwiches perhaps?" she asked.
"No thanks, we're fine," replied the vampire.
About five minutes later the door burst open and in walked Herman with his usual boisterous stride. "Honey, I'm home!" he called out.
Lily at once rushed toward him and gave him a quick loving kiss. She then gestured to the four sitting on the sofa. "Herman, you remember the Groovie Ghoulies from last night?"
"Remember them! How could I forget?" Herman exclaimed with delighted chuckle.
The foursome at once rose from their seats and began shaking hands with Herman in turn of each other.
"I'm Vlad," said the vampire. "This is Agatha, Frankie, and Wally. We really enjoyed your presence with us last night at our show."
"And I really enjoyed being in it!" Herman agreed heartily.
"And we were wondering," the vampire continued, "if you had ever done any musical activity before, if you played any musical instrument, ever sang before last night?"
"Well, I do play a good guitar," replied Herman. "And I did once make a record with it and a song I made up as I was playing and it was played on the radio for a while and then I was scheduled to sing on TV but then I kind of... lost my voice the day before and had to call it quits to it all."
"Hmm... interesting," said the vampire. "I think we would all like to hear sing your song and play your guitar for us."
"Really? You would?" exclaimed Herman in delighted surprise. "I'd love to. Just wait here."
Herman went upstairs for a moment to get his guitar. He came down soon and smiled as he strummed the strings of it with care and began to see in a smooth baritone.
"My toe bone's connected to my foot bone,
My foot bone's connected to my heel bone,
My heel bone's connected to my ankle bone,
That's how they connected those dry bones!
Do, do, do, do,do!
My leg bone's connected to my knee bone,
My knee bone's connected to my thigh bone,
My thigh bone's connected to my hip bone,
That's how they connected those dry bones!
Do, do, do, do, do do!
Back with Dr. Frankenstein
Is where my story starts!
Everything I have may not be much!
But I'm a gentleman of parts!
My arm bone's connected to shoulder bone,
My shoulder bone's connected to my neck bone,
My neck bone is bolted to my head bone,
That's how Herman was born!
And I was assembled!
And that's how Herman, baby, was born!"
Everyone applauded as he strummed the last note. "Bravo! That was fantastic!" exclaimed the vampire. "Tell me, do you have any other instruments around the house?"
"We do have a big harp in the living room which Lily is quite good at, and we have that old organ in there also which Grandpa usually plays," replied Herman.
"Do you think we could play one of our songs with them and you could join us with your guitar?" inquired the vampire.
"Why sure, that'd be splendid!" exclaimed Herman in rapture.
So that evening the family gathered in the foyer and Frankie sat at the organ and played out a monotonous tune while the witch Agatha sat by the harp and Herman in a chair between them playing his guitar as they all sang the song.
"Down in the graveyard on a Saturday night
When the chains on the gates are locked up tight
You're my graveyard girlfriend
The whole damn world is going to hell,
But when I'm with you I could never tell
You're my graveyard girlfriend
The dead are all at rest in peace,
With just the bare necessities
You're my graveyard girlfriend
I don't care what the neighbors say
I'll be your graveyard boyfriend
Till my dying day
You're my graveyard girlfriend
One day I'll lay next to you
In a beautiful coffin built for two
You're my graveyard girlfriend"
Everyone cheered and applauded at the end of the song and the vampire stepped up to Herman and patted him on the shoulder.
"You played and sang really, really well," he said. "So well in fact that as the leader of the Groovie Ghoulies I would personally like to invite you to come sing with us live on stage again tomorrow night at our next concert. Would you willing to do so?"
"Willing? I was born willing!" Herman declared wholeheartedly.
"Excellent," said the vampire.
Meanwhile, Grandpa had been reminded from the song of the countess who he was determined to impress. He figured he should use his magic to the best of his abilities to do so and so after hours of thinking he decided on a special concoction which he used in the good old days for celebrations and other really special occasions.
He tucked the bottle of the formula in his inside pocket and then turned into a bat and flew to the graveyard where he hoped to find the countess. And when he arrived, sure enough, he found her kneeling by a large headstone. He flew in front of her and transformed himself back into a man on the spot. She looked up at him with a most unnerved expression.
"You again!" she seethed.
"Now, now my dear," he said coolly. "There is a lot about me you do not know yet. For instance I am an expert at magic and sorcery and I can amaze you with the wonders I can achieve!"
"Magic?" she said sounding curious suddenly. "I'll have none of your feeble tricks!"
"These are not just tricks they are the real deal," he explained. "Listen if I don't impress you tonight then I will stay away from you for the rest of the afterlife."
The countess seemed to consider for a moment. "Deal," she finally said. "But I'm warning you, if this doesn't impress me you'll be sorry!"
He grinned confidently in response. Then he put two fingers to his lips and blew out a loud whistle and then raised up his hands as though summoning someone or something.
Then all of the ghosts who dwelled in the graveyard arose from their graves in their transparent silvery forms, floating in the air and billowing in the wind. They looked rather unnerved at being woken up so early.
"You summoned the dead, so what? Anyone can do so!" The countess snarled unimpressed.
"Now, now wait just a moment," said Grandpa. "You haven't seen nothing yet. Now this," he brought out a large bottle filled with a strange bubbly liquid of a greenish orange color, "is my very own special Bring to Life Potion! I'll just inject these phantoms with it and you will be astounded I promise you!"
He then took out a large syringe from the other pocket and filled it up with the oozing liquid. He walked up to one of the spooks and injected it with the syringe's needle in the chest. The potion's aura appeared inside the body of the ghost and filled it to capacity. Then it began to glow bright green for a moment and then there was a loud noise like bones being cracked and then there stood in the ghost's place a solid figure with loose greenish skin covered in boils with dirt covered brown hair and wearing worn and tattered clothing covered in dirt, dust, and grime.
The figure looked down at itself for a moment in seemingly great shock and made a low growly noise that sounded like, "Brrraaaww!"
All the ghosts in the cemetery let out loud howls of shock and disbelief, and gave somewhat envious looks and began to glide toward it muttering incoherent phrases and waving their arms in agitation. Grandpa could see what they wanted and so he took the syringe and injected each and every one of the other ghosts in turn which brought about the same reaction as the first one with all the zombified spooks looking more or less human than the other with lighter of darker green skin and clothing in better or worse conditions.
The countess meanwhile looked with a mixture of surprise and uneasiness at this display of bewitchment. "So you've brought them all back from the dead," she said rather huffily. "Yet their still not alive are they?"
"Well, I intentionally left out the special ingredient of it for a very special purpose," he explained. "Now watch and I guarantee you, you will be spellbound!" he gave a rather crazy sounding laugh.
He raised his hands high over his head toward the sky which was covered in dark gray clouds which now began to glow a greenish tint and then they began to shake and roll with loud thunder and great bolts of golden lightning flashed across them. Then finally the clouds filled themselves and burst open sending sheets and blankets of torrential rain crashing down on the ground. The lightning and thunder continued and seemed to create a dancing rhyme and rhythm all around the graveyard.
The countess looked up and around her and for a moment almost seemed to smile. "It's lovely," she admitted. "But what is it for?"
"You just watch and see!" exclaimed Grandpa enthusiastically. He then extending his hands out toward the congregation of zombies and bellowed, "Let the the thrill begin!"
Then as if on cue all of the zombies began to dance and shake their undead bodies in rhythm to the storm as if the pounding thunder, crackling lighting, and crashing rainfall were the music of the Groovie Ghoulies
Grandpa smiled as he watched them and glanced over at the countess and grinned as he saw her gaping at the display before them. He felt so pleased with himself he began to dance with the zombies and after a few moments the thrill of the moment caught hold of the countess too and she joined him and they began to get in the groove as they shook their bodies and turned themselves all about and shook their arms and legs in and out.
After about an hour the spell wore off and the storm ceased as did the zombies thriller dancing and they began to moan and groan again as though they didn't know what to do now.
"Okay fellas, retreat to your abodes!" exclaimed Grandpa as he extended his hands out again.
The zombies understood instantly and turned around and each slowly dissolved back into the ghosts they were before and disappeared slowly from sight, finding peace and slumber once again in the sanctity of their respective graves.
Grandpa turned to the countess with a happy grin alighting his features. "Well, what do you think now, huh?"
The countess seemed speechless for a time and then she let all her long pointed teeth show in a wide grin and replied, "That was the most amazing, most superb exhibition I have ever witnessed in all of my afterlife! I apologize for ever doubting you, you are incredible!"
Grandpa smiled and replied, "I'd be most honored if you were to accompany me tomorrow morning for a grand tour about town."
"I'm sure I'd love to," replied the countess. "But we can't stay out too early, I am allergic to sunlight, you see."
Grandpa gave another enthusiastic grin as he replied, "I can fix that for you."