I've decided that Kirk/Bones interactions are my new favourite things to write.

Disclaimer: I don't even own the Argelians, cute little - wait what?

"Have I ever told you," Bones screams as he runs after Kirk, "how much that signal sucks?"

"You know something? Spock doesn't yell," Kirk screams back as he hightails it out of the building.

"Have you forgotten!? I'm not Spock!" Bones takes the chance to shoot at the Argelians who are taking aim at them. "Damn it, this is why I stay on the ship, Jim!"

"Captain!"

"WHATEVER!" Bones and Kirk both dive at the same time when a volley of gunfire erupts above them.

"Kirk to Enterprise," Kirk yells into his comm unit, "we need to get out of here! Now!"

"Yeah, the Argelians don't look too happy with us-" Bones scrambles to his feet, pulling Kirk up with him. "God, I'm glad Spock's athletic."

"If it's any consolation," Kirk shouts over his shoulder as they take off running, "they were already planning on killing us anyway, treaty or no treaty-"

"What the hell, Jim?" Bones fires off a few more shots. "That does not make me feel any better!"

"In there in there in there in there!" Kirk takes a sharp right and veers towards a cave. "MOVE!"

Just in time, Bones feels his body tingling, and he glances down to see the familiar yellow swirls appearing. "Thank God-" he says just as everything fades to white and something stings him in the right shoulder.

He falls to his knees when he feels something solid beneath his feet. A hand grabs his shoulder and Bones almost shouts out in pain – and then he realizes it's Kirk, who's got a cut on his cheek but otherwise looks unscathed. "We are never doing that again," Bones growls, which sounds even more terrifying when it's in Spock's voice.

"Aw, come on, Bonesy, it was fun," Kirk grins, and Bones has to resist the urge to claw the smirk off Kirk's face.

There's a clattering of feet in the corridor before Uhura and Spock arrive at the door. Bones wonders briefly if Spock has treated any patients yet because wouldn't that be something to watch. "Hi," he says with as much restraint as he can, aware that the technician is watching the whole scene. "We're back."

Kirk rolls his eyes. "Way to play it up," he mutters before taking his hand away and swearing. "Oh, shi – Bo- Spock, you're bleeding."

"I - what?" Bones looks down at his shoulder and notices the green blood seeping through. "Ah, damn. Bullet wound."

"Come with me," Spock says in a carefully controlled voice – apparently, the technician hadn't escaped his notice, either. "I can treat you down in the med bay."

"It's only a flesh wound," Bones insists. "I can treat myself."

"With all due respect, Mr. Spock, that is a wound that is best treated in the confines of the medical facility on board. Please come." Spock holds out his hand and Bones almost wants to cry at how badly they are playing each other. He glances briefly at Kirk, who is at least trying to hide the amusement on his face.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk. Your presence is needed immediately, sir." Sulu's voice crackles and Kirk swears under his breath, the lopsided grin sliding right off his face.

"Blasted Argelians are probably trying to mount an attack," he grumbles as he takes off running. "When you two are done, I need you up on bridge as soon as possible."

Uhura nods to both Spock and Bones before she follows Kirk. Spock glances at Bones, who's trying to adjust the too-tight collar: "The treaty negotiation did not go well?" he asks.

Bones only mutters something that sounds like Thank you, captain obvious as he stalks towards the med bay.

"I do not understand. I am not the captain – that alone falls to the responsibility of Jim-"

"Shut up, and come help me with this wound."

Bones makes sure that the door is locked behind the both of them before he collapses into the bio bed, cradling his shoulder. "Damn, this hurts. How do you do it? I've treated you for bullet wounds before."

Then he notices Spock standing by the supplies closet, coolly observing the hyposprays, drugs, and medicines stocked in neat rows. "Exactly what are you doing, Spock?"

"I am considering the many options I have for treating you."

Bones almost kicks something in frustration. "You mean you don't know how to treat wounds?"

"I am a commanding officer, not a doctor."

Bones bites his tongue to keep himself from making a snarky comment. "Alright. Okay. Fine. Fair enough. You aren't a doctor and I'm not a diplomat." He nods at the hyposprays. "Bring me the first one on your left. It should already be loaded."

Spock complies, and Bones grits his teeth as he injects himself. "Okay. Get me those tweezers. I hope you're not queasy at the sight of blood."

"Considering that the average body has approximately six quarts of blood, I would think it highly illogical to not appreciate-"

"Stop talking," Bones growls, "and get me the tweezers and a bandage, damn it."

Spock hands him the necessary tools without another word and Bones grimaces as he tries to move his arm. "Okay, Spock. Here's where it's going to get messy. You need to get the bullet out of the shoulder right now or it's not going to be pretty." He hands Spock the tweezers. "It's a small bullet and I don't think it's too deep."

Spock eyes him. "The percentage of this succeeding is-"

"The percentage of me killing you in your sleep if you don't stop talking is a hundred percent," Bones snaps. "For the love of God, Spock, please just-"

There's a sting that cuts him off, and then Spock emerges back in his line of sight holding a bullet. "There you go," he says with what sounds like a smug note in his voice as he wraps the bandage around Bones' arm. "Will that be all?"

"Stop sounding so smug," Bones mutters as he hops off the bio bed. "Come on. Jim needs us on the bridge."

The Argelians have turned! Oh no! Let me know what you think of them - and the story, while you're at it...

Much love,
ohlookrandom