Sam's P.O.V
"Sam" Tom whines elongating every syllable,I turn my head to face him then to his sister,of whom he is starring at ,her blood is very fine, diluted. Zoe notices this too "Ok Tom,if you just want to stand over there" she say,shuffling in to take over Tom's place "Ok everyone the bleed has spread, have we heard anything for neuro?" I explain to the team "I can't get through to them" Fletch replies shaking his head , I look to Zoe for guidance, I see her thinking away. "Ok let's do a trepanation everyone ok to scrub in,can we get an anaesthetist down here as well please" Zoe commands , we all follow suit.
Graces eyes began to flutter, she just about manages to retain some consciousness "Tom!" I call to him,if there's any chance he can comfort his sibling it's now. I watch him take her hand in his "hi Gracie" she flinches "you've banged your head and you need to go to sleep so we can make you better ok" he says slowly, as though he was talking to an infant "yeah Tom" she mumbles beneath her oxygen mask "I love you Tom" she continues, I look at her grasp tight on his hand, Tom's tears drip onto her face as he looks down onto her,he wipes them carefully away "I love you too Gracie" he quips as a gas mask is placed on her face.
Ash's P.O.V
Sometimes we do things, even if we're not sure they will work to make sure the families know we did everything we could,it feels as though we're fighting a lost cause. We sedate Grace,she's hypertensive but more blood is on it's way, Zoe clasps a scalpel in her hand,wrinkles appear on her forehead,as she thinks through the procedure. I turn the razor on,it's buzz sends Tom into a manic frenzy "not her hair! She loves her hair,please" he pleads "Sam" I say giving her the look to get Tom out of here, she goes towards him to usher him out "come on Tom, you don't want to stay in here,not when she's like this"he fights against Sam's persuasion it takes some deliberating, but finally Tom complies. "Making the first incision,now" Zoe explains as Sam renters, I raise my eyebrows to see how he is but she ignores me,she looks upset.
Tom's P.O.V
I'm back here again, same chair,same worry,the minutes are more painful than the seconds,I ring my parents to see when they can get here but they don't pick up, they must still be driving, Grace used to tell me she loved Holby because it was so far away from them. I wait and I wait, I watch nurses pass the window, I watch young guys the same age as Grace run up and down chasing each other down the halls, they'd love Grace,she's always been surrounded by the male species,she always denied it but it's true. What am I thinking, they will love Grace, she might be ok, she might pull through. In my head I know I'm kidding, but the alternative isn't worth thinking about it. Various members of staff try to sit with me, but I'd rather they were with Grace, she needs all the help she can get. I begin to think about Grace's biological parents,like me she never made any attempt to contact them, I wonder if they would regret it if they met her,I know I would. I feel exhausted all the adrenaline has left my body, my head is so heavy it feels as though it is ready to snap off my neck, I put my head in my hands, exhausted.
Sam's P.O.V
I walk along, I can see through the window that Tom sits with his head in his hands, I open the door to which he doesn't look up ,I sit beside him,lifting his chin so he can see me. Nothing about me wants to tell him. I need to tell him. He looks at me, he knows the look. He knows it because he has delivered bad news himself. His head falls into my lap,sobbing into my scrubs, he is shaking he is crying so hard,I wrap my arms around him resting my head on his as I feel a tear run over my nose, dripping into his curls. "I am so,so sorry Tom" I whisper to him. We sit in silence,he just cries, I've never known a man so upset, he must of really loved her,love her. "She lost too much blood, she just slipped away, we did absolutely everything we could Tom, I promise" I say,my voice still thick ,he remains silent for a moment "I need to see her" he demands, "ok" I nod, I stand and help him up,he struggles to rise from his seat but he manages to tread behind me as we draw nearer to recuss "she told me she loved me" he tells me with pride "I know, she really did love you,I bet you're a great brother" I try encouragingly to which he doesn't acknowledge. "Will you come in with me?" He asks "Of course" I agree. It's strange, we work here everyday ,we know where the insulin is kept, we know where tissues belong,even which cupboard is the dodgy one,but Tom looks frightened to go into recuss, he tiptoes around Grace. "Grace always hated silence, she was so noisy,try having a lie in with her around " he jokes "she looks peaceful" he continues,he traces her hands ,her shoulders,her cheeks,her smile,her eyes,finally her angelic blonde curls almost identical to his. He looks to the clock, "she was supposed to be uni now" he notes "everyone will say she's skyving" he comments, I want to speak but my lips are sealed shut,never sure when to interject ,so I keep quiet. He circles her ,reaching the counters where a few locks of her hair lie "Can I?" He asks,his eyes round and innocent, I just nod unable to produce words. "Can I have a moment alone with her ?"he asks me,I exit silently but I watch through the window, he pulls up a chair beside him,takes her hand in his and chats to her, easy conversation ,he smiles at her as though keeping up appearances for her. Zoe creeps up to me "Graces's parents are here" she notifies me "ok I'll just be a minute" I smile falsely as I turn to face Tom, he looks up at me and makes his way over to me,his usual bounce replaced by a dull slouch. "You're parents are here" I tell him "oh good" he retorts "I need to tell them Sam" he informs me,I nod again, he looks at me, my eyes are still slightly blood shot from tears, I feel guilty,I didn't even know her. He embraces me "I love you" he murmurs, I just nod unable to reciprocate. "Come on" he smiles bravely,wrapping his arm around me as we make our way to the relatives room to inform them of their loss, of Grace.