Sarah smiled again at him.

"Hey sweetie, you're late today! I was almost calling you."

"I was up studying and went to bed like at 3 am or something…"

She pretended to be mad.

"Sam, you know you have to sleep well, otherwise you'll be tired during class."

"I know, I'll try not to do it again, okay! Promise!"

"Okay… Hey, I have something to ask you, but I guess we'll have to wait, the professor is already here, come on."

When the class was over, both of them went to get something to eat.

"So Sarah… what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"There're some friends of mine, they asked if we want to go camping with them at the beach."

Sam stopped eating immediately.

"What?"

"Yeah, they said there's this really cool camping place, it's a little far away, but totally worth it… it's in San Diego… I guess it's San Elijo or something…"

"No."

Sarah was a little taken aback by his harshness.

"Why not, Sam? It will be fun, the guys are cool… we could use some time off, you've been too busy…"

Sam had to hold his breath not to give away any emotions.

"Sarah, I don't like camping. I hate it actually. If you wanna go with them, I won't argue, but I just won't go, okay?"

"Okay Sam, I'm sorry, I didn't imagine you would react this way, I though you'd like the idea… I won't go either, it won't be the same without you… we can find something else to do…"

Sam gave her a half-smile. But he was suddenly not feeling so well.

"Thanks, baby. Listen, I've got to go, I have a small headache and I promised I would go to the doctor with my brother today… and you're right, I should get some rest, I didn't sleep well last night…"

He didn't like lying but he had to found a good excuse for leaving. She was still surprised but didn't argue.

"Okay Sam, I'll see you tomorrow then… you call me later?"

"Sure."

He kissed her and walked away.

Sam drove off and could barely see where he was going. Why, WHY did Sarah had to bring up San Elijo? He knew it wasn't her fault, she had no idea, but still…

Sam had met Sarah when he started going to law school, a few months ago. They had some classes together. They became friends and after a while, started going out. Sam liked this girl, he really did. He tried to tell himself that everyday, as if he wanted to reassure himself. But the truth was… Even after 6 years, there was only one girl who truly had his heart. A girl that was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thought that crossed his mind before he fell asleep. Even after 6 years, he could never smell roses or watch a sunset without remembering her. Sam could not understand it, he had spent 2 days, 2 DAYS with Jess, and 6 years later, he wasn't able to forget her. He had met so many people ever since, so many insignificant people he had spent so much more time with, and now he couldn't even remember the names… but Jess… how could he explain?

Nobody knew about Jessica. He didn't have any contact with the guys that had camped with him. Jo was the only one who knew, but he not once talked about Jessica with her, after they returned from the camp. He just couldn't. She never asked anything, she didn't know he still thought about her every single day. Days after they came home, she left the picture she had taken of them at the lake in his backpack. He kept it like it was his most precious and secret treasure, he had never showed it to anyone. Not even Dean knew. He intended to tell him sometimes, but he couldn't. He knew his big bro knew him like no other person, but still, Sam didn't think he could understand. Nobody would ever. He couldn't explain why, but he wanted to keep Jess to himself. Like it was a beautiful dream that he woke up from too soon. He knew it was almost impossible, but he still looked for her anywhere he'd go. Always.

He tried to search for her on the internet. When Facebook came out, he tried to find her there, but with no last name, it was impossible. There were thousands and thousands of Jessicas, He'd never find her. And he didn't even know if she had a facebook account after all.

He had tried to move on. To meet other girls. But he ended up looking for Jess in every girl he met. He liked Sarah, he really did. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and had an enormous heart. He really wanted to fall completely in love with this girl. Damn, he was trying to. Maybe get married someday, have kids. And live a whole life… without Jess. He knew he had to do it. How in the world would he ever find this girl? She might not even live on the US anymore, who knows? Man, he'd give anything to find out about her… he always wondered if she still thought about him as well. If he had meant as much to her as she had to him. And if that was the case, if she hated him for not calling her… he was almost sure she didn't think of him, I mean, 6 years had passed… she probably had a boyfriend and was happy, or was maybe even married. It was very likely Sam would never know.

He arrived at Walgreens for his shift, but he couldn't really concentrate. He thought about Jess everyday, but today was worse. He couldn't wait to get home, to take a shower, get some sleep…

When he finally got home, he found Dean making a sandwich.

"Hey man! How was the appointment?"

"Just normal… everything is fine."

"What about Jo, is she home yet?"

"No, she called and said she's going out with some friends."

Dean was acting weird. It was barely noticeable, but Sam could see it.

"Is everything okay, Dean?"

Dean just gave him a quick glance over his shoulder.

"Yeah Sam, everything is fine. You wanna a sandwich too?"

"Yeah, thanks… you sure you're okay? Anything happened at the doctor's office today?"

"I'm alright Sam, I told you, nothing happened, everything is fine with me!"

But Sam knew Dean, very deeply. Something crossed his mind.

"Aren't you going out today? It's friday night…"

Dean opened the fridge to get the cheese and didn't look at Sam.

"No, I'm staying in for the night… One of the guys at work is celebrating his birthday at the bar today but I'm not in the mood, I'm tired."

Dean finished the sandwiches and handed one to Sam.

"What is it Sam?"

Sam stared at his brother.

"Are you sure that's it?"

"Of course that's it, I'm allowed to get tired and deciding to stay home, aren't I? Quit bugging me bitch!"

He headed to the living room and Sam followed him. There was a football game starting and they ate in silence, watching the game.

Sam knew exactly what was wrong with his brother. The truth was, Dean was not 100% okay with what had happened to him. He got his life back, he was totally independent, there were only a few more things he had to do on a daily basis and adapt to some situations, but in that department he was doing just fine, he could even drive the Impala, which was a great thing for him. He had no problems with his independence.

The problem was another thing. Dean had lost a lot of his self-confidence, specially when it came to meeting girls. Months ago, Dean was starting to adapt, he wasn't wearing the prosthesis yet, just the crutches, and Sam was doing everything he could to cheer his brother up. So he would take him to some bars to hang out with some of his friends from college. Dean was able to have some fun, and since he had always been a don juan, he of course tried to make moves on some girls. But a few of them didn't want anything with him when they saw he was missing a leg. One particularly mean one told him that she could even make out with him for the night but that was it, she didn't want anything to do with a cripple. Sam wanted to hit that girl in the face, but he knew he would only get in trouble. And the damage was already done, after all. That changed Dean profoundly. He was no longer the babe magnet he once was. He avoided going out, he preferred stay at home or doing things that didn't involve meeting new people. Dean was much better now physically, I mean, when he was wearing pants, anybody who didn't know him couldn't tell he didn't have two full legs. Sam was absolutely sure there was a whole bunch of girls who would die to be with Dean, but he couldn't see that. What those girls did to him affected him deeply. Sam didn't know what to do, he didn't have the courage to bring the subject up, he was afraid Dean would be upset. But he knew Dean needed some time, everything was still very recent. He was 100% positive he would soon find a good girl who would accept him for who he was. Anyone would be crazy not to see the great guy his brother was.

Sam finished the sandwich and went to take a shower. He then said good night to Dean and closed himself in his bedroom. He was still sad about all the Jessica thoughts, he wanted to be alone. He texted Sarah to let her know he was okay and sent her a good night kiss, he didn't want her to worry about him. Then, he opened the bottom drawer of his desk, where he kept a small box. He opened it, and took a picture from it. He looked at Jess' face, that smile he knew by heart, that smile that could lit up the darkest place… and those eyes, those blue eyes that showed her soul… He felt suddenly inspired by the sadness of not having her around, so he took a piece of paper from his desk and started writing. It was so easy, it was like the words was popping up on his head. When he finished, he read what he had written. He didn't know exactly how to classify it, it could be a poetry, or lyrics for a song, he just wrote what he was feeling. A tear rolled down his face, and he pressed the photo and the paper against his chest. Sam wasn't very religious, but at that moment he prayed he wouldn't have to spend his entire life without seeing Jessica again, even if it was just for once.

Hey guys, thanks again for reading it, and review if you can, I'd like to know what you think about the story so far! Curious about what happened to Jessica after all these years? maybe you'll find out soon!

oh, and if you're curious too about what Sam wrote, you'll find out eventually... but since I'm very nice, I can tell you it's a song lyric. but you'll have to wait!

anyway, thanks again, hope you're enjoying it!