Thanks for all of the reviews! I am so excited that you like it! This chapter takes a darker turn, please review and tell me your thoughts! Do you like the Angst or should I bring in more Romance? Thanks! -Holly
Chapter Three
Paige was so shaken by what Emily said, she felt her stomach drop and the tears swell to her eyes. "Emily, you have to understand. It wasn't me who kissed her; I never led her on, and never had any intention of that kiss happening. The last thing I wanted that night was to hurt you even more. I wanted to tell you, just not tonight. Not while I'm trying to fix what was already broken. I thought that if I told you while we were fighting you would want to end it."
Emily looked back at her girlfriend, "End it? Paige… if anything, I thought you were done. When I heard about what Hanna saw through your window I could've sworn you were done with me." Paige took Emily's hands in hers and kissed her. She took in Emily's smell and touch; it gave her goose bumps. "I would never do that to you. I wouldn't just drop you. I love you too much; you have helped me through my lowest and you are my highest. I'm so sorry for everything. Can we please forget about all of the misconceptions and just spend the night together while your parents are gone?"
Emily smiled and nodded her head "That's exactly what I need right now."
Paige pulled her closer and kissed her while pushing her into the bedroom. They stood in the middle of the medium sized room as they kissed, laughed, and told each other how much they have missed this. When Emily sat on the bed and pulled Paige closer by her hand, her shirt sleeve raised and revealed thin red lines going up her wrist. Emily's smile faded and Paige quickly covered her wrist.
"Not again, Paige. You didn't."
Paige took a few steps back looking at the floor. "It was hard for me, I knew I messed up and I didn't know how to deal with it. The cloud came back and I just had to take it out. I tried calling you, but of course you didn't answer… I'm not blaming you, I just needed the release."
Emily has helped Paige stop self-harming, the stress of hiding her sexuality and selfhatred is what caused her to start. Now that her and Emily were together, Paige felt like she had some of the weight taken off of her shoulders. She no longer had to cut as often and she finally had someone to talk to. Even so, she was still threatened by what she and Emily call 'The Cloud.' The cloud is the suffocating urge to self-harm. This time, without Emily there, she gave in and relapsed. Emily felt her stomach tighten and she didn't know what to say.
"Let me see them," she finally said moving towards Paige. Paige looked away as she pulled up her sleeves and revealed the straight lines and an 'x.'
"Baby," Emily's voice cracked when she spoke.
Paige pulled down her sleeves and walked over to the bed, ashamed. "I am so sorry, I promised no more. And I did mean it when I said it. I just couldn't handle it. I felt terrible the next morning."
Emily walked over to the bed and held Paige in her arms, and kissed her forehead. "It's alright, I am here for you. It hurts me to see you do this to yourself. I promise to be here for you no matter what fight we are in. I love you to the very end." Emily rocked Paige back and forth while she sobbed. "Stay Strong."