I did my best to avoid the drunken partygoers as I made my way up the street towards the abandoned Fenton home.
Most of them paid me no attention as I walked, and I didn't want the attention either.
Some who knew me fell silent as I walked by, their stares stabbed at me like knives. I did my best to ignore it, I really did. I tried to tell myself they were just in awe at the spectacular light shows in the sky. I couldn't fool myself, though; the fireworks had already died down.
This short five-minute walk had become a never-ending journey for me. I made my way up the street towards the house that was once like a second home to me. Now it was just a cruel reminder of the past.
The "for sale" sign in the front window never failed to stop me in my tracks. I starred at it, willing it to just disappear. Or for me to wake up and realize that it never happened; that the past two and a half months of my life was nothing more than a sick nightmare.
Snow began to softly drift down from the sky, and I exhaled deeply. My breath misted before me as I reached for the door, slowly pushing it open.
The hard creaking of the door echoed throughout the dark, empty apartment. I felt along the wall for the light switch and almost tripped in the process.
I had come here many times in the daytime after the Fenton's had moved, but never at night.
Once I had successfully illuminated the room, I broke into tears, just as I had every time I came back to this house. I could still visualize the room filled with Mrs. Maddie's furniture, and Mr. Jack's ghost hunting gear spread all over the place.
I could see Jazz reading a book on the sofa, and the family pictures on the walls. In this empty room, I could envision the way it was supposed to be. Not the way it was now.
I opened my eyes to the harsh reality that was this empty room, and with no more hesitation, I turned and headed for the basement.
The steep stairs threatened my safety as I made my way down them in the dark. Not that I cared much for my life anymore, anyway. I never understood the point of putting the light switch for the staircase at the bottom of it. Just another one of Mr. Jack's brilliant ideas I suppose.
The large empty lab had become a point of hell for me. It, just like the rest of the home, mocked me with its emptiness. Where there were once tables and machines, there was now nothing. The only thing that remained was the large ghost portal, sealed shut and plastered with caution tape.
I went and took my usual spot in front of it, sitting cross-legged and looking at the massive metal door.
More tears spilled out of my eyes as my mind replayed the events of that day.
***
"C'mon, Danny, it's cool!" I urged him on.
Danny held the black and white jumpsuit in his hand, nervously eyeing the giant portal before us.
"I don't know, Sam…" he hesitated. "My parents said not to touch anything don here while they were gone."
"I'm gonna have to agree with Danny on this one," Tucker followed up. "I don't think we should mess around in here."
I gaped at them. Just the thought of it, a whole new, unexplored dimension was supposedly behind that door. I couldn't even wrap my brain around the possibilities this opportunity gave us, and both my best friends were too afraid to get near it.
"Danny, c'mon," I continued. "Don't be such a baby about it!"
Danny looked at me with a strange expression that I couldn't quite describe. He just slightly smiled at me, and my heart would pick up speed. All I knew was it made me blush when he looked at me that way. I had to turn away.
Next thing I knew, I could hear a zipper being zipped up. I turned back in shock to see Danny suited, fists tightly clenched. He looked so cute when he was determined.
I had liked Danny for years, and there were times when I couldn't tell how he felt about me. We were best friends, and I had always thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Yet I still had feelings for him. I couldn't make them go away.
I flashed him a huge smile. I couldn't hide my excitement. He returned a small one, the fear in his eyes very clear.
I was beginning to regret asking him to go in there, he was clearly very anxious about it. Tucker seemed just as worried, but neither of them said anything.
Tucker and I watched as Danny slowly made his way to the large metal door. He lightly pressed a button, causing the door to slowly opening the two massive metal doors of the portal.
My eyes went wide as…nothing. Nothing was revealed. Nothing amazing or mysterious or magical was behind those doors like I had hoped.
"Well, there's nothing there!" Tucker chimed, obviously relieved. "Oh well, close it up, Danny."
I could feel my face fall as Danny looked back at me with sad eyes. He read my disappointment and knew he needed to find a way to get that portal to work for me.
"Hang on, Tuck," he called.
"Danny?" Tucker, now sounding frantic. "Where are you going?"
I looked up to see my best friend slowly step into the darkness of the portal. He was slow in his approach, and I burned with curiosity waiting for something to happen.
Danny looked back at us still unsure that he wanted to continue. I smiled in encouragement, ignoring whatever expression was plastered onto Tucker's face.
For a brief moment, Danny's eyes were looking directly into mine, and my face instantly heated up. I couldn't take looking into his ice blue eyes when I knew they were looking into mine.
He turned away from us and continued further inside of the portal. I watched as his hands traced the walls, feeling his way through the darkness. He was almost out of sight when he called out to us.
"Guys, there's nothing in here…"
Disappointment took me again. Maybe I needed to grow up and stop believing in ghosts or a ghost world like I'd heard Danny's family tell me so much about for years.
"Can you just get out of there?" Tucker called back.
We watched as Danny's hands used the wall to guide him through the darkness again.
The last few seconds he was in there, I was waiting for something to happen.
What actually happened was nothing I ever could have imagined.
Light. Blinding light.
Heat. Burning heat.
Screaming. Deafening screaming.
I watched as the dark portal exploded into white light. The last thing I saw of Danny was him turning around to see the light erupting from the back of the portal. It was so intense, that Tucker and had to shield our eyes from it. There was so much heat coming from that portal, Tucker had to jump in front of me and cover me. And the screaming was the single most ear piercing noise I will ever have heard in my life.
Through the ten seconds that the experience lasted, I found myself and Tucker both screaming out "Danny," though we could barely hear each other over Danny's screams.
And then there was silence.
And then there was darkness.
"The power…must be out…" Tucker managed to stutter.
We were both holding each other and shaking violently.
Tucker was the first to move. He grabbed his iPhone out of his pocket and opened his flashlight app. The small light led him to the fuse box, where he worked to flip multiple switches.
Suddenly, the lights came back on. Everything in the lab was still. I opened my eyes testing them to see if I had gone blind from that light. Aside from things being a bit blurry, I could see.
I looked over to Tucker.
"You okay?" I asked him.
"Yeah, and you?" he responded, rubbing his eyes.
"I'm good. Danny, you o-"
I was cut off by Tucker's sharp breath.
My eyes followed his gaze to where the portal was.
The floor was black and burned, smoke rising off of it. My eyes continued to the inside where my best friend was.
I've never screamed louder in my life.
***
I forced my eyes open and stood up off of the ground. I didn't even realize I had begun trembling.
The memory of that day was still so vivid for me. Maybe going and visiting the place where it happened so often was bad for my health.
But I needed to be close to him. I needed to be able to feel my best friend's presence, and the place where he died seemed like the place I could connect with the easiest.
The place where I killed my best friend.