Author's notes: I'm back! I had the idea for a cake when I was visiting my grandmother in Cardiff a couple of weeks ago, and I've only just got around to thinking up another one and writing it. Oh well, this made a nice distraction from my lagging Camp NaNo wordcount. :)

Thank you for reading and for the reviews, favourites and alerts. I would give you cake, but I can't, so I suppose you'll just have to make your own. Possibly one of these. :D

A note from the editor: the Seireitei Communication would like to officially apologise for a printing error in the last issue resulting in the publication of pre-publishing memos between the authors of this column and myself, the Acting Editor-in-Chief. However, on the grounds that our audience-feedback towards the memos was overwhelmingly positive, we have decided to continue publishing them alongside the column. (Yay! - OI) (I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking, Shuuhei! -RM) (You know, Rangiku, I'm not just permitting this because you told me I should. -SH) (Oh really? How many readers told you they liked the annotations? -RM) (I don't have to answer that. -SH)

RANGIKU MATSUMOTO:

Microwaves are great, aren't they? Orihime introduced me to them on my most recent jaunt to the World of the Living! You put food in, press a few buttons and a few seconds later it comes out hot! Oh, the wonders of electrogravetetic conduction! (Was that correct, Orihime? -RM) (I dunno, you'd have to ask Uryu. He's the one who explained it to me - I'm better at maths. -OI) (Is this really relevant? -SH) Anyway, I like cake, and I thought that you probably do, too, so here's a recipe combining microwaves and cake. Yay! (Congratulations, Rangiku, your laziness has reached new and hitherto unknown heights. -SH) (You know you love me. ;) -RM) (I feel bad for poor Captain Hitsugaya... -SH)

INGREDIENTS:

Four tablespoons of self-raising flour

Two tablespoons of granulated sugar

Two tablespoons of cocoa powder

One egg

A drizzle of oil of some sort

Lots and lots of marshmallows

Chocolate chips

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Just kind of throw everything into a bowl or something.

2. Stick it in the microwave for a minute or two.

3. You're done!

(You're kidding, right? -SH) (Not at all! -RM) (No, she's serious, I just tried this and it works really well! It could probably do with some taramasalata on top, though, or something... -OI) (I can't. I have lost the ability to can. -SH)

ORIHIME INOUE:

Cakes are great! If you just make an ordinary sponge cake they're sweet but the taste isn't overpowering, effectively creating a blank canvas for painting all sorts of wonderful masterpieces! (No more crab and whipped cream, please. I beg you. -SH) (Shut up, Shuuhei, Orihime's last recipe was wonderful! -RM) (I'll take your word for it, Rangiku... -SH) (You mean you didn't try my pasta recipe? -OI) (That's it. We're all having an evening together next week and you WILL eat Orihime's marvellous pasta, Shuuhei, if I have to tie you up and spoon-feed it to you myself. -RM) (Erm. -SH)

INGREDIENTS:

150 grams self-raising flour

150 grams butter

150 grams caster sugar

2 eggs (This is all looking remarkably normal, Orihime. I'm impressed. -SH)

Lots of honey

Sesame seeds (? -SH)

Popcorn (? -SH)

Barbecue sauce (I should have known that the comparative normality was too good to last... -SH)

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Cream the sugar and butter. You can even use a hand-mixer if you like! Just don't do what I did and take out the mixer while it's still on or you'll end up with the mixture over your ceiling. That was quite a mess, I couldn't even reach it to clean it off so I had to ask Chad round to help! (And we needed to know this... why? -SH)

2. Add the eggs to the mixture and beat them in.

3. Sieve the flour over your mixture (assuming it's not on the ceiling, you don't want it to look like it's snowing...) and fold it in. Be careful not to beat the air out of the flour, though, or it won't raise and you'll end up with a pancake! (I have to give it to you, Orihime. Your tastebuds may be broken, but you know your stuff. -SH)

4. Pour the mixture into a cake tin and bake it in the oven at 180 degrees Celcius for 20-25 minutes.

5. When the cake is baked, take it out of the oven and put it on a plate. Liberally spread honey over the entire thing!

6. Sprinkle a generous layer of sesame seeds all over the cake - they should stick to the honey! (This is when it starts going downhill. Please let the barbecue sauce have been a typo... -SH)

7. Drizzle barbecue sauce over the cake! Yummy! (Oh, God, WHY? -SH)

8. Take the popcorn and arrange a few pieces into an artistic pattern on top of the cake.

9. Your cake is finished! Cut it into pieces and give it to everybody you know! (But only if you hate them with a passion. -SH) (Stop being such a meanie, Shuuhei. This cake sounds delicious. It's not Orihime's fault you're too chicken to try it! -RM) (Chicken. There's something else which just doesn't belong on a cake... -SH) (That sounds like an interesting combination. I know what I'm having for tea tonight! -OI)

NEXT MONTH'S THEME: SNACKS