Pre-Comment: After applications are all done, I'll tell you all why some jobs must suck. I know mine does.

Chapter Two: So You're Immortal, Huh?

Name: CC

Objective: To obtain a managerial position at Pizza Hut so I can slowly start taking it over and reshaping it into my ideal image and monopolizing pizza venues everywhere.

Skill Set: Eating pizza, immortality, identifying over thirty-one different types of cheeses, bestowing magical powers.

Past Employment: Witch, Court Witch, Dead Witch, Immortal Witch, Still Alive Witch

ooo

The week had been rough for one Lydic Verell.

Oven Number Three had blown a fuse and was Out of Order for the rest of the week until the electrician from Head Office came by. The Pizza Hut location he managed only had three working ovens. One was used as a cupboard of sorts and thus didn't count.

At the end of the day, he sat back in his leather chair he invested in himself with his good friend Mr Pick-Me-Up, and once again found himself glaring at the newest batch of resumes on his desk.

A chocolate mint was planted tidily on top as a mild incentive from his secretary to get through them.

With a sigh, he picked up the first one.

It was lime green.

Not lime green writing.

It was lime green.

With little hearts written all over it including a cute little doodle of Pizza Hut in the corner. The cute little doodle of Pizza Hut in the corner was also coloured—although the red hat looked like a mottled shade of blood mixed with dirt on the lime green paper.

Lydic tossed it.

After throwing out about thirteen resumes so far, the door to his office burst open in a whirl of green and white.

His secretary was calling after the intruder, pausing at the doorway, looking at the interloper desperately for her to show some decency and patience.

"Miss, I'm sure he's—"

The woman made a hissing, shushing noise at her before walking right up to his desk and slamming her resume down on top of the pile he was neatly preparing for incineration with good old Mr Lighter-Fluid.

Er.

He meant 'going through neatly and carefully considering the potential list of employees thoughtfully.'

Lydic was speechless.

"Miss, you can't just—"

"Lydia, I think I'll take this one."

His secretary sighed. "Nakuru. And if you're sure about—"

"Yes, yes, I'm absolutely sure about this, Ly—Nakuru."

Nakuru rolled her eyes and shut the door behind her.

Lydic motioned for the girl to take a seat.

And he would be damned if he didn't point out one major detail about her. Well, two actually, but that was if you were looking closely. Which he was. And they were both huge details.

This girl was smoking hot.

He would give her that much.

If you could ignore the creepy, pierces-your-soul stare, complete with eerie golden eyes, she was currently fixing him with she could easily pass for average. She was average and hot. And if protocol didn't demand an interview of all applicants, he'd probably hire her on the spot after taking a look at that impressive rack she supported.

This girl was hotter than his secretary (who was somehow related to him and thus off-limits), and that was saying something because Ly—Nakuru was hot.

Even so, for Lydic Verell, there existed no greater evil than having to cut through job applications—and their applicants.

One by one.

Heartlessly.

"So…" he swiftly glanced down for a name, "CC, you're looking for a managerial position? And the rest of your goals are pretty steep. Takes a while to get up there, you know."

CC shrugged nonchalantly. "I got time on my hands. What can I say?"

"Alright. Fair enough. If you're determined enough, I guess ambition is welcome here at Pizza Hut. This cheese identification skill of yours is pretty impressive."

She smiled. "I've had a lot of experience in my life."

"Alright then. For the most part, your resume seems to be in order—"

And by that Lydic meant she was really hot and he hadn't bothered really reading it all before considering hiring her.

"—So what are your plans for the future?"

"Well," CC started, crossing her legs the other way, "For starters, I plan to monopolize the pizza-making industry." She made a determined fist with her hand and a rather determined, and somewhat scary, look crossed her face.

Lydic edged away from her just a tad bit.

"Cheese-kun will be recognized as King of the World and I will mascot beside him as the emblem to an empire where 310-1010 will be dialled daily, otherwise harsh consequences will be met. Customers showing a lack of respect for the Food of Kings will be shot, and their corpses will be dumped in a desert somewhere for scavengers to feed off their blasphemous remains. Of course," she accentuated in a much less threatening tone, pausing for a moment, "This is all in the far-off future."

She smiled prettily.

Okay, she was hot, he would give her that, but it didn't make up for the fact that she was in-freaking-sane. Not the normal kind of insane either—the kind of insane that people were sent to padded rooms for. A lunatic straight from Alcatraz.

"Uh… okay. That's… those are very… unique goals you've got there, CC."

CC shrugged. "What can I say?"

Lydic continued to peruse the rest of her resume, hoping that world domination or kicking puppies wasn't somewhere in there too.

"So… CC… it says here that you're a Witch?"

For a brief moment, Lydic had time to wonder where he had heard that word from again.

CC nodded. "Yes, that's right. I give people a, um, magical power in exchange for their right to socialize with the rest of the world. Little by little. Over time. It's a gradual thing."

Lydic blinked. "So… you… isolate people after giving them this magical power and letting them run loose with it for a while?"

Huffing, CC folded her arms under her bust.

And damn if Lydic had a hard time focusing on her face.

"I don't isolate people. The magical power does. I just give it to them."

"Oookay. Let's discuss the rest of your resume."

Maybe it was time to properly read it now.

Hot or not.

This woman was clearly nuts—or at least high off something.

"What's with this immortality thing? How is that a skill exactly?"

"Well. How about if I reword it this way: I can shoot myself in the head with live ammunition and survive. Surviving is a skill. A lot of hunters need survival instincts."

Lydic deadpanned. "Do you… hunt… or something?"

"No. I'm just pointing it out. Don't you think that crocodile guy would've lived longer if he learned some survival skills against hippos?"

Lydic felt a migraine coming on. He gripped the handle of his top-drawer containing his good friend Scotch while he was pining for the empty bottle of his best friend Whiskey.

"Right. Hippos and survival tactics aside… why do you think you're right for this job…?"

She huffed. "I saved entire cards worth of stamps to get Cheese-kun. Why wouldn't I be right for this job?"

Because Lydic Verell had a set of his own survival skills, he decided not to answer that. At least not truthfully.

Or vocally.

"Right. Well, CC, it was an interesting pleasure meeting you. I'll call you back and let you know if I can work something out for you."

Smiling triumphantly, she rose from her seat. "You better. After you're done torching the applications of all of those shmucks, you'll see just how superior I am to them when it comes to pizza."

And with that, she whisked out of his office in another blur of green, white, and blunt arrogance.

Now that Lydic thought about it, her outfit did sort of resemble a straight-jacket.

Comments:

I made some references of some popular video-games here. If you caught them I'll give you cake. :)

Once again, this is for all those jobless college (and maybe jobless high-school) students out looking for work. A lot of places aren't hiring right now and I feel your pain. Or at least I would if I wasn't employed and had to turn away the dozens of applicants that come at my door every day between one and five.

On a different note, I turn another year older today. Any guesses of my age will be harshly ignored to the fullest extent of my apathy. I get cake today and that's all you need to know.

Please R&R.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.

P.S. I'm open to taking suggestions for who you want to see up on the chopping block next. Go vote in the poll on my profile page. Whoever has the highest vote will be next.