CHAPTER 19: Peter's Holidays.
'Where did Pete say he would meet us?' Sirius asked, dragging his trunk along King's Cross Station.
'He didn't,' James replied, heaving his own trunk behind him. 'He just said that he'll 'see us when we go back to school'.'
'He'll surely be on the train?' Remus suggested, wheeling his trunk along the platform.
'Hopefully,' Sirius answered. 'Since he was far too busy to write to us, we obviously have some catching up to do.'
James and Remus looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Sometimes it was hard to tell if Sirius was actually angry or not, and this was one of those instances.
The three friends all ran at the wall between platforms nine at ten and emerged to see the scarlet train that was the Hogwarts Express awaiting them. They cast a hurried glance around the station to try and see Peter but couldn't see over the heads of the other students returning from the Christmas break. Sirius glanced sideways and winked at James, inclining his head towards Remus. James grinned and grabbed Remus by the arms, who immediately started struggling and protesting.
'James, James, what are you doing? Let me go! James, what's going on?! JAMES!'
A laughing Sirius hoisted the small boy onto his shoulders, dropping both of their trunks to hold on to his ankles.
'Sirius, put me down!' Remus shouted, trying to pull his ankles out of the long haired boy's grip.
'Stop struggling, Remus, you'll fall,' Sirius chortled. 'Just look out for Pete.'
'Oh, honestly, Sirius, this is ridiculous,' Remus muttered, yet looking around all the same. He was really excited to see Peter. It had been great at James's house, with James and Sirius, but it just didn't feel right without Pete. Somehow their friendship didn't feel right without Peter. As much as Remus loved James and Sirius, they were very eccentric and reckless, and much more so than he, and he appreciated that Peter would stay calm with him. Someone had to try and keep James and Sirius alive, and Remus had discovered over the holidays that it was a two person job, and he grew more and more thankful that he had Peter for that every day.
James had missed Peter. For the first few days after Sirius and Remus arrived at his house he couldn't get to sleep because he felt like something was missing. It took him a while before he realised that that something was the other member of their quartet. It seems that you don't really understand or appreciate how important someone truly is until they're suddenly not there. It was nice to see Remus and Sirius, incredible actually, but everything that they did together seemed incomplete because Peter wasn't there. He couldn't wait to see him again.
Sirius had almost forgotten what Peter's voice sounded like and he didn't like that. When he was stuck at Grimmauld Place, locked in his bedroom and he really missed his friends he would have them speak to him, in his head. He would imagine James's voice and the way that he would say things and they would slag off his family and every Slytherin. He would talk about spells and how much he wanted to get away from his house with the Remus voice in his head and he would laugh about Remus's nerdiness with Peter. Not being able to hear his voice anymore was almost as though he had forgotten him and Sirius knew that he would never forget him, not ever.
'Look, look, I think I see him! He's getting on the train!' Remus called from atop his friends shoulders.
Without even bothering to stop and let his friend down, Sirius grabbed his own and Remus's trunks and ran through the crowd, followed by James who had one hand on his own case and one hand held out a few centimetres from Remus's back. It wouldn't serve much purpose if he fell, but it still worked as a reassurance. The three friends raced through the swarm of students and leapt onto the train, getting some very strange looks and a few whispers. They continued to charge down the corridors, looking into compartments trying to find their friend.
'Sirius, I can see him. He's just gone into that compartment!' Remus said, pointing and leaning so far forward that he almost flipped off his friend's shoulder.
'Right you are, Remmy! Onward, James!' Sirius called, racing on forward again.
'PETER!' the three friends yelled.
They ran around the corner and skidded into the compartment with Peter. Sirius, in his excitement, forgot to duck.
'Sirius!' Remus protested from the ground, rubbing the bruise he could feel forming on his head after hitting it off the top of the door and falling off his friend's shoulders.
James, Sirius and Peter all turned to look at him and then burst out laughing simultaneously. Peter held out his hand and pulled Remus to his feet, helping him sit down as his head spun but laughing all the same.
'Well, that's one way to make an entrance!' James roared, flinging himself down on a seat as well. 'So, how have your holidays been Pete?'
'Oh, um, nothing much to tell,' Peter replied, twisting his hands nervously in his lap, an action that was not missed by the rest of his friends.
'Come off it, you've not had time to write all holidays and the one time you do you say that you've been really busy,' Sirius said, confused.
'Is everything okay, Peter?' Remus asked, looking sideways at his friend who very slowly shook his head.
'What happened?' James asked, all traces of laughter gone.
'I'd rather not talk about it. At least not on the train,' Peter mumbled.
James, Sirius and Remus looked at each other briefly with concerned looks before turning away and waiting for the train to arrive back at Hogwarts.
The day passed annoyingly slowly. Peter acted completely normal, as if nothing had changed but James, Sirius and Remus couldn't help but look out for subtle hints about what had happened in Peter's life. Even though Peter had only said that he didn't want to talk about it on the train, the three of them had mutually agreed to wait until they were in their dormitory that night.
'So, are you going to tell us what happened now, Pete?' Sirius asked lightly, lying on his bed with his head hanging off the edge.
'Well, do you remember the guy who came to pick me up at King's Cross at the end of term?' Peter said hesitantly.
'Yes...' James replied, wondering where this was going.
'That wasn't my dad, it was my big cousin. I asked him what was going on, but he just told me that he would explain later.'
Now that he had begun, Peter began talking faster, as though he had been storing all of this up for ages because he didn't want to talk about it but now that he had started too, he realised how much he wanted to tell his friends.
'By the time we got home, it was pretty late, so I just went to bed. I woke up in the morning and he sat me down in his living room. He...he told me that my dad had left my mum and we had to move. He told me that my mum hadn't wanted dad to leave and she cried and begged him to stay but...but he wouldn't stay and she wouldn't get out of his way and he just...he just snapped. He hit her and then he used that 'Petrificus Totalus' spell on her. My cousin hadn't heard from her for a while so he went around to see what was going on and he found her. She hadn't been able to move for three days so she was in a right state and I wasn't allowed to see her for a few days until she got sorted out. I don't know, since then she's...she's changed. I think...I think it sent her over the edge a little bit. She's my mother, I love her, I don't want to call her crazy, but...but I think what he did to her...it really destroyed her. I'm sorry, I wish I could have come to your house, James, but I just...she needed me. I couldn't leave her too.'
Peter hadn't noticed when he had started crying but now he felt the tears running down his face and he didn't even bother to wipe them away. He didn't care that his friends saw, they were past that point. He was just so relieved that he had finally told someone, that he wasn't alone in this anymore. Since his dad left, he never came back. He never came to see his son; he never tried to get in contact. Peter tried to write to him, but received no reply. He spent a large majority of the holidays coming to terms with the fact that he had lost his father. It was strange because nothing had really changed. His father hadn't died, there was no need to grieve, but he had left. It confused Peter because he didn't feel as sad as he thought he would. But it wasn't really any different from the way things had been anyway. His dad was never usually home, he was always working, sometimes not even working in this country, so as far as the father/son relationship went, it was pretty much exactly the same. But his mother had changed. He had to come to terms with that. She had been ruined by his own father, her own husband. She flinched every time she turned a corner, every small sound was threatening, and her mind had been caught in a web of paranoia. She wasn't the person that he left on the platform the first time he ever rode to Hogwarts, and he didn't know if she ever would be again. And that was a hard fact to come to terms with.
James, Sirius and Remus were dumbstruck. They didn't know what they had been expecting, but it certainly hadn't been that. As one they stood up and walked over to Peter and hugged him, they couldn't think of anything else to do. What could they do? They wished that they could somehow fix it, but there was no way for them to do it, it would be foolish to even try or to even mention it.
'Some Christmas,' Sirius whispered, hearing Peter's watery chuckle from somewhere in the tangle of arms.
'Well, it's not all bad, Pete. At least you don't look like Remus,' James teased, reaching forward to poke the large bruise on Remus's head from earlier on in the train.
Remus flinched away and grabbed a pillow which he threw at James and before they knew it, the four friends had launched themselves into a huge pillow fight. It felt right, to be back in their dormitory, doing something stupid, the four of them together again, just having fun. They couldn't help but think that it didn't matter how bad the situation was, the four best friends would somehow find a way to make each other smile again.