Jack dragged on her cigarette, tried to blow smoke rings, but somehow she'd never gotten the hang of that. Never quite like the cool guys. Groaned as she saw Jane and her little friends leave the school, walking into her direction. She looked the other way, decidedly so, but part of her knew that it wouldn't stop Jane Shepard. And sure enough she left her friends standing by the school gates and sauntered over to Jack, who was watching her out of the corner of her eye.
"Hey, I haven't seen you all week!"
Goddamn fucking perkiness personified. Jack rolled her eyes.
"Did it occur to you that that might have been by design?" Jack turned to look at her, very reluctantly.
"Oh, don't be like that!" Jane whined.
"I don't want to talk, okay?"
"Now you sound exactly like your 'it's complicated' girlfriend."
Jane jumped back as Jack tried to kick her, losing her balance a little and staggering backwards.
"Fuck off!" Jack hissed.
Jane didn't look particularly impressed, just raised her eyebrows and asked:
"What happened this time?"
There was something about her persistence that made Jack almost feel something like respect for her, not that she'd ever admit it. She snorted.
"Why do you even care?" she asked after a moment of silence, dropping her cigarette to the ground. Pushed her hands deep down into the pockets of her jeans and glared at Jane.
"You're my friends and..."
"Are we? Since when?"
That made Jane just look like a kicked puppy.
"And there is no us. The entire thing was fucking stupid. Shouldn't have listened to you, shouldn't have... ugh. I'm an idiot."
"You do want to talk about it! Come on. We're going out for ice cream, join us!"
Most other people would have cringed under Jack's glare, but not her.
"You don't have to eat any if you're afraid it'll ruin your reputation."
"Oh, shut up. I have to get to work, anyway."
"Oh!" Jane smiled at that. "What do you do?"
"None of your fucking business," Jack muttered.
"I've been looking for a job, to save up a little more for college."
"What exactly was it about me that gave you the impression that I give a damn? Tell me, so I can avoid it in the future."
Jane sighed.
"We could hang out another time. If you want to talk. You have my number."
"Yeah, sure." Jack rolled her eyes again for emphasis.
With one last exasperated sigh, Jane shrugged and walked off again.
. . . . .
"Why does it even matter that much to you, Jane? Let it go."
There was a hint of impatience in Tali's voice. Jane raked her fingers through her hair.
"If I only knew what they've been fighting over..."
Liara had talked to Miranda some, but Miranda had point-blank refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong at all, and then gotten slightly cranky and threatened not to talk to Liara anymore if she was only talking to her so she could spy for Jane.
Tali played with the straw in her milkshake, then gave a shrug.
"Maybe they are better off this way. I can't imagine fighting all the time with the person you're into. Teasing, okay. But all that drama? And what do they have in common? You need to build a relationship on a solid base of shared interests."
A frown. Then Jane shook her head.
"I'm sorry. I'm a little obsessed, you're right, I should let it go. None of my effing business. Sorry. Let's talk about something else. Anything interesting going on with you?"
Tali turned slightly red and grinned sheepishly.
"I've asked Garrus out."
"What?! When did that happen? Why did I not hear anything about that until now?"
"Because you've been too distracted by your little vicarious drama?"
Jane couldn't believe Tali had been holding back so long.
"Man... I feel like I'm a terrible friend. How did it go?"
Tali grinned even more broadly.
"Well, he asked if he could borrow my calculator, and I asked what I'd get in return, and then he started stammering a lot. In the end we decided to see a movie together. Don't know which movie, yet, though. Our tastes don't quite match, I'm afraid."
Jane beamed at her and then almost knocked over her bowl of ice cream.
"That is so cool!"
They were halfway through a detailed analysis of what movies to consider, when Jane felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She took it out and had a look, assuming it was a message from Liara.
"What's wrong?" Tali asked, as Jane kept blinking at the screen.
"Nothing. Well. Just unexpected. Jack asks if she can come over tonight."
"Huh. Does it say anything else?"
"Nope."
"Well, you did offer, didn't you?"
"I sure did."
. . . . .
It had been the kind of day that just felt as if you were wading through mud. Slow, hard and unnecessarily cumbersome, but you kept going, anyway. Miranda had been looking forward to visiting Ori again, but Ori had had a bad day, too. It had featured a lot of yelling and crying and clinging to her mom, and using 'no' as the default answer to everything. It had been frustrating to the point where Miranda just wanted to leave again.
She didn't want to think about Jack. But she never stopped thinking about her. Since she didn't want to spend more time at home than she absolutely had to, she sat in the library a lot, tried to study, but found herself staring out of the window too much, not even pretending that she didn't hope for a glimpse of Jack. Her stomach lurching every time she actually saw her standing outside, smoking like it was no one's business, as usual. Watched her trying to kick Jane when she inevitably tried to pry, after Miranda had refused to tell Liara anything.
Not that she hadn't been tempted to vent all her frustration, but she was just so tired of people telling her what was best for her, and she had no doubt Jane would have done exactly that if Liara had told her what had been going on.
Miranda buried her face in her hands.
She hadn't expected she'd miss Jack like that. Oh, she still thought she had been right to demand an explanation. But maybe, just maybe, she shouldn't have exploded like that. And why exactly had she felt so... betrayed?
Jack hadn't wanted to talk about her past. Miranda had tried to be understanding, but she had a hard time dealing with things not being neatly within her control. That's what it felt like. Not knowing made her feel so out of her depths with Jack. And she hadn't imagined that kind of thing lurking in Jack's past. It was difficult to reconcile her impression of Jack with it. It was all just a huge mess in her head, and she wanted to do something about it, but after their fight – she didn't know how to even begin making up. No one had ever been important enough to her to make her feel guilty like that, even though she felt she was in the right.
. . . . .
Jack kept going back and forth on this thing ever since Jane had texted her back that she could come over for dinner if she wanted.
She had written the message in a moment of weakness. It was hard to admit, but she actually felt like talking about shit. She'd always enjoyed being alone, but this was different. Lonely. Before Miranda she hadn't even known that difference. Fuck, why was she so pathetic?
But in the end, when she left work, Jack didn't go home, but made her way over to Jane's place.
"I didn't think you'd actually come here."
"Me neither," Jack replied, feeling oddly self-conscious as she stepped past Jane into the apartment, and quickly bent down to untie her boots.
"Are you hungry? I've made shepherd's pie – it's a family joke," Jane added quickly.
Jack cocked an eyebrow.
"Seriously?"
"It's the only proper recipe I know. It is good food, though! And I'm like one eighth Irish. One sixteenth?" She raised her hand and counted on her fingers. "One eighth."
Jack just shook her head.
"Yeah, whatever, food sounds good."
She followed Jane into the kitchen, looking around in disbelief.
Jane rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.
"I made a mess. It's okay as long as I straighten things up before mom gets home. You can help me later, how about it?"
"Well, shit," Jack muttered, making Jane laugh.
"You don't have to." She motioned towards the table. "Chairs should be clean. Mostly. Better check before you sit down, though."
Jack sat down and watched Jane bustle.
"Hey... thanks," she said lowly after a moment.
"It's no big deal," Jane said over her shoulder, then carried the dishes over. "So..." she said as she sat down, too.
Jack quickly took her fork and busied herself with the slightly gooey mashed potatoes.
"Wait a sec, in this household we pray before we eat!"
Jack raised her eyes sharply, only to see Jane snort with laughter.
"Oh, the expression on your face was priceless!"
"Fuck you, you're horrible!"
Jane grinned.
"Yeah, but you kinda sorta seem to like me, or you wouldn't be here."
"Well, there is nobody else!" It burst out of Jack before she could stop herself. The look Jane gave her was far too understanding all of a sudden. Jack looked away.
"Okay," Jane said softly. "Sorry. I won't make fun of you anymore. Promise."
"Shit," Jack just muttered.
"Food first, then talk?"
Jack rubbed her eyes, then nodded slowly.