I know it's been way too long XD But I'll be making an extra long chapter to make up for it. (At least, it's long in my terms XP) So...chapter 3 of Welcome to the Quiet Room.

This is how the drems begin. I open my eyes, but I don't wake. I am detached. My spirit is detached- from my body and my mind. And everything is dark. I stumble around in my spirit body, running into the wall, and turning, arms outstretched. When things begin to clear, I see Kyoko twitch and roll over in her sleep. Curiously, I glance back toward my own body. I look so vulnerable, sleeping. And undeniably sick, which sickens me even more.

Sometimes I wonder why these dreams are so different. Why is it I can walk properly? Is it because I am that disconnected from my body and mind? Can I do anything? Can I walk through the wall, right out of this place? Will I die if I do?

Maybe this is what kept me getting high, lucid dreaming. But I haven't had a lucid dream for months. Yet it feels like the first time; it's so wonderfully addictive. I'm free, unbound by reality, outside of myself. But nothing lasts forever.

I'm sitting at the table with Kyoko and Madoka, who are talking to each other. I listen, but don't try to say anything. My mouth doesn't want to move, and my head hurts. I can feel spit running from the side of my mouth and think I might fall asleep again. My face is practically touching the table, and it bothers me, but I can't bring myself to even try and move it back into position.

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up like this; a junkie, stuck in a useless body. I'm sure it was because of them. If she- if Hitomi had never done what she did, then maybe...

...what was I thinking again? God, I'm tired.

"Hey, Sayaka, you okay?" Madoka asks softly, nudging my shoulder. I try and shake my head, but they don't react. "What's wrong?" Madoka says. I try to mouth the words to her, but she doesn't seem to get it. "What's wrong?" She questions again, and I don't reply.

They just don't get it.

The day seems incredibly long, longer than the last few have been. I feel indescribably pained, like I'm going to vomit, pass out, and die in that order.

In groups, my head lolls to the side and I zone out. The doctor doesn't bother to call on me, and it's almost reminiscent of a day in school. I think about things outside of the hospital. I can't remember much anymore. Everything's like a fragment of a distorted dream, not reality. Kyosuke and Hitomi, being kicked out of the honors program, failing classes and disappointing my mother because I just can't stop sleeping through all the boring stuff. My father dying and me running away from home, away from everything. It's all blurred, pieces of things getting stuck to pieces of other memories, changing everything. The only intact memory is the drug. I even know what my first drug was- cocaine, which I snorted behind the school the day after Kyosuke picked Hitomi. And then I started meth. And then I snapped.

I can still see the blood everywhere, splattered on the sides of the tub, leaking into the running water. I can remember the knife falling from my hands as I prayed in my mind that I'd drown, or bleed out, and be taken away from it all. I can remember waking up in the hospital a week later, the cop telling me how lucky I was.

The last thing I remember is crying.

I am almost in bed when the nurse tells me I have a visitor, helps me into the wheelchair, and takes me down to the meeting room.

It's Hitomi.

"Hi," she says nervously. "Um...how are you?" How do I look?

"Jus'fine." I slur.

"Mm..." she pauses. "I'm coping...Kyosuke really misses you." Sure he does. I doubt he even cares. And then all of a sudden, Hitomi's hugging me and I'm trying futily to push her off of myself, but I can't, so I just sit there, awkwardly. "I just don't get how you could do this to us." Of course, it's all about you.

"Hitomi," I say, and she forces a shaky smile.

"Yes?"

"Get out of 'ere."

I wake up screaming. There are hands on my arms, trying desperately and unsuccessfully to steady me. The yells keep escaping my throat, no matter how much I will them to stop. I'm just...so angry...

I manage to get one of my arms free and punch a nurse in the face. I hear her shout and the other nurse rushes back into the room, carrying a needle of some sort, and I wonder what it is, wish it was the drug I so desperately longed for.

"I'mgunakillya!" I spit.

"Hold her down," the first nurse says, reaching for the needle one of the others is holding.

I hear my voice, laughing wildly as the needle pierces my skin. I yell thrashing wildly, and it just hurts so bad, and my vision's darkening, and I can't see and...

"We're taking her to the quiet room," a voice says.

Everything is black.

When I come to, I find myself in a plain, white room. There's a white, single windowed door in the corner. I make a move to try and sit up, but my hands and feet are tied down. I'm restrained? My throat closes up as I try to yell again.

"You're awake," the doctor states. How genius. "We had to sedate you for your own safety. This is the first step of actual barbituate withdrawal." He answers. I frown. I know how to behave safely. Me mother at least trusted me to do that. So why can't this guy trust me?

I spit, shaking my arms.

"Calm down, Sayaka," the doctor says. "We don't want to have to sedate you again." I shake, trying to lash out, but I'm completely tied down and I can't do anything.

The last thing I see is a needle.

The irony kills me.

I don't know how long I spend in the quiet room, fading in and out of consciousness, still tied down, bright lights boring into my eyes. I just know that I'm still in there, and miraculously alive. Barbiturate withdrawal has a very low survival rate, the doctor says. They say I'm lucky.

It's a lie.

The day, or days, drone on after my release from the room. I spend my time staring at random things. Sometimes I'll find myself staring at Kyoko. Sometimes I wonder what her hair, what her skin feels like. It's weird, but comforting. Minutes become hours and hours turn into days, each one mirroring the last. When I finally see the doctor again, he mockingly asks me about my time spent in the quiet room. I spent three days in there. Three days of screaming, thrashing around, and staring at that white, cracked ceiling. Three days...that...

"Your roommate, Kyoko. Are you close?"

I don't know. "Not really," I manage to say.

"Odd. She barely left your side the whole time." What?

"Why?" I ask him.

"That's a mystery." He replies.

I think my eyes are closed, but I can still see her. That person. Watching me. She's looking down at me. What is she staring at? Why am I staring back? I reach toward the figure, only to have my hand slapped away. "What the fuck? Snap out of it, Sayaka." Kyoko says.

Oh.

"Sorry," I say, frowning.

Man, I can't think straight anymore.

I'm almost to sleep when I start shivering.

"Kyoko?" I ask. "Ishitcoldinere?"

"What are you talking about?" She asks, turning to look at me. "Are you cold? It's got to be eighty degrees!"

It isn't cold? But it has to be! Or else...I wouldn't be shivering...

Holy shit.

It's not cold. It's not cold, because I-

YOU'RE FREEZING!

-I know I-I-

These aren't the cold shakes. These are...

SO COLD SO COLD SO COLD...

-withdrawal.

When I wake up, the cold has left me, but I haven't stopped shaking. Kyoko's arms are wrapped around me, pulling me to her chest.

It's so beautiful it makes me want to cry.

Why does she care so much?

End Chapter 3.