Chapter 4 of Welcome to the Quiet Room, written from scratch and unbeta'd, so sorry if it's a bad one. Realized that I needed to update this for you. :) Also, don't expect updates on anything for a while after this. I sprained my thoractic and gave myself whiplash during my dancing practice the other day, so I'm in a neck brace and it's killing me to type this. But I had to do it for you guys. :) So anyway...here's Chapter 4.

The day starts off the same as every other in rehab. I sit in the day room at a table with Kyoko, Madoka, Homura, and Mami, looking at the tiled floor, and tracing the pattern of the tiles with my eyes while the others talk in low voices. The doctors shuffle about in the hallway, walking into the room to grab one of us for sessions every now and then.

I pick at the food I was given for breakfast, not even really attempting to eat any of it. Madoka, Homura and Mami are called out for individual sessions, leaving me alone with Kyoko. Surprisingly, she doesn't talk. At least, not until she says, "If you aren't eating that, I can have it, right?" and takes the barely-touched box of food from me. "Apple slices? You lucky bitch." She says.

I turn away, staring out the window of the room. Why am I here?

Group therapy moves slowly; I really just hate talking to people about my life. I almost debate asking if I can be excused from group, but realize that wouldn't be such a good idea. Besides, the group leader probably wouldn't even be able to understand what I was talking about. Nobody ever seems to.

I sit there, half asleep, for the remainder of group. After it lets out, I find Madoka helping me get back over to our table. Kyoko smirks at me.

"Fell asleep again, huh?" She pauses. "As expected, I guess." I glare at her, but say nothing. "Y'know, I was thinking..." she leans in closer to me. "About the-"

"Kyoko, shut up." Homura says bluntly. I raise an eyebrow. I wasn't expecting that from her.

"What's got your panties in a twist, Akemi?" Kyoko asks, taking another bite out of the apple she's been holding onto since group started.

"I have a headache." Homura replied.

"So what?" Kyoko asks, looking at her and smirking yet again.

"Homura, please don't-" Madoka started, as Homura stood up.

"I'll be in our room, Madoka."

Kyoko turned to me and did a 'What the hell? I don't get it.' gesture in the air. I tried to shake my head, but I couldn't.

After another long day, I find myself back in the room, thinking in the dark cover of the night. I've always hated the nighttime. Nighttime is the time of guilt, when all those buried truths come out, the ones you don't want to think about.

The withdrawal is no longer that bad. I feel a bit more depressed than usual now, but that's it. They said that the meth didn't even do anything to me- it was the barbiturates that fucked up my brain.

I wonder if the drugs are still affecting me. I wonder if I'm dying. I probably am, but the doctors won't tell me anything. No surprise.

I stare at the ceiling while I think, and I'm not sure how long I stare, I only know that the night passes slowly, and my eyes do not once move from the ceiling.

The days pass, one after the next, in a blur. The doctors haven't called me out for individual therapy since the first day. Nobody's bothered to visit outside of the one person who I currently hate more than anyone else. I guess that's not a surprise, though. Nobody cares enough to bother visiting. I'm alone, just as alone as I've been the past few months.

I hate it. Nobody notices that, though.

I rest my head on the table, listening to the whispers of Homura and Madoka, and the loud voice of Kyoko yelling at the doctors, and I try desperately to fall asleep.

Eventually, I do.

I'm running. I'm running, really fast and I want to stop, but I can't stop because if I do, he'll catch me, and I can't let him catch me. I can't stop shaking, and I'm running, I'm running, faster and faster, and I can't stop, and I need help, somebody help me, HELP ME NOW. But nobody comes and so I keep running, and I feel something slam me to the ground and all of a sudden, there's a man standing behind me, and he's holding up the drugs and asking questions, questions about it. And I stand again, and I keep running, and I don't stop until I get home, throwing the door open, running upstairs and locking myself in the bathroom. His knock sounds on the door, but I can't stand to think about what'll happen if Mom answers it, and so I pull the razor out of the drawer. I sit down in the bathtub, and I begin to drag it across my arms, and there's someone calling my name, and footsteps, running up the stairs, and I scream, because it just hurts so much, and there's blood everywhere...

And then I wake up.

My eyes snap open, and I look around the room, disconcerted. I stand, surprising the others, and slowly begin to walk down the hall to the snaps something to me, and I just keep walking. I walk into the bathroom, and I shut the door.

My eyes focus in on the mirror, and I stare at my reflection. Bloodshot red eyes, rash around my mouth, pale skin...when did I get so skinny? Was I like that before? No wonder Kyosuke didn't want me.

...What am I- reflection, right. What was it that I was thinking about?

Kyoko knocks on the door, her voice echoing into the bathroom. I ignore it.

I'm sick of being like this. I don't want this, I don't want to be here, and I don't want to be in this body.

I smash the mirror. It takes all of my strength just to throw that punch, and a few seconds later, I'm on the ground, shards of glass scattered around me, catching pieces of my reflection from different angles. My hand's bleeding, and it drips down onto the floor, as I pick up one of the shards, and hold it to my wrist. Slowly, I begin to cut my skin...

The door slams open, and there's Kyoko and a nurse, and the nurse is screaming, and I drop the glass. Kyoko rushes to me, grabbing my arm, as the nurse helps wrap a bandage around it, and then she stands me up and tells me we're going back to the quiet room. I stare at Kyoko, and find myself crying as the nurse pulls me away.

"Idunwannago!" I yell at her. "Kyoko!" I call out, but Kyoko doesn't come after me.

The tears are heavy now, coming down in torrents, like the rain. The doctor rushes over, and he helps the nurse get me into the quiet room, securing me to the bed with restraints as he examines my injuries.

I don't struggle. I just lie there. Because I can't do anything. I'm completely and utterly alone, and completely and utterly helpless.

End Chapter 4.