A/N: Here's another unnecessarily long AN...

I took another look at my Red Five-Subject Notebook of Enjolrasness, and some of it was quite good and rather funny, and so we are back on for the Humor category. Oh, and Cosette is randomly feminist.

Huh. You know, that really wasn't that phenomenally long. Hurrah! And now, review replies:

Anonymous: Glad you liked it. Hopefully this wasn't too long to wait.

Om: EEEE! I'm excited too.

Mars: NEVER. But here's your little cameo...I didn't include the whole song...sorry, I'm not sorry.

TheJondretteGirls: This is so much fun. Heehee...*maniacal laugh*

PhoenixGirl97: Thanks! Yeah, I just haven't gotten a chance to read it yet, sorry.

Om: Sure! Wait, but that would make him besties with Valjean! Hm, maybe he'll be, like, trailing him around or something...

Oh, and the ninety of you who didn't review? Yeah, thank you guys, too.

...

That was sarcasm.

La, la. There were many people hanging out at the barricade—you know, like ya do—and they were ad-libbing up a storm as they prepared to rehearse that night's battle. An overture played epically in the background, foreshadowing several of the melodies that would play a part in the events about to unfold...

A tall teenage girl with dirty blonde hair and green eyes was overseeing it all. She was wearing an Aaron Tveit T-shirt and carrying a huge red flag. She was immensely proud of having this flag and brought it up in nearly every conversation she ever had with anyone, ever.

"JEAN PROUVAIRE!" she called, and said poet came scurrying up.

"Yes, Mademoiselle Lefebvre?" he asked. She just stared at him in awe.

He waved his hand up and down in front of her face. "Mademoiselle Lefebvre? What did you need?"

She blinked. "Oh, right. I need you to gather everyone together. I have...an ANNOUNCEMENT to make!"

Huh. I wonder if it's to confirm the rumors of her imminent retirement that have been circulating since she arrived an hour ago, Jehan thought as he skipped off to spread the news.

The girls turned around and found herself face to face with two more young men—one with brown hair and glasses, the other an amazingly handsome and perfect, marble-skinned man with beautiful blond curls. "EHMAGERSH IT'S YOU!" she squealed.

"Indeed," said the second man. "Michel Enjolras and Henri Combeferre, at your service."

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm needed back in the 21st century by six. I'm an important part of the ceremony, you know—I'm playing 'La Marseillaise' on the tenor sax!" she explained hurriedly in a way that was somewhat incomprehensible to Enjolras and Combeferre. She pulled on a National Guard uniform over her jeans and T-shirt. Then, despite her claim that she was in a rush, she then proceeded to pull a saxophone out of nowhere and perform a stunning rendition of 'La Marseillaise.' Enjolras and Combeferre, being familiar with the song, sang the lyrics, which, on the saxophonist's insistence, I shall include:

ALLONS ENFANTS DE LA PATRIE LE JOUR DE GLOIRE EST ARRIVÉ! CONTRE NOUS DE LA TYRANNIE L'ÉTENDARD SANGLANT EST LEVÉ ENTENDEZ-VOUS DANS NOS CAMPAGNES MUGIR CES FÉROCES SOLDATS? ILS VIENNENT JUSQUE DANS VOS BRAS. ÉGORGER VOS FILS, VOS COMPAGNES!

She wants me to put in the entire song, but that's just ridiculous. Anyway. Jehan had gathered a sizable crowd in front of the Corinthe. They jostled around as they waited for Mademoiselle Lefebvre to make her announcement.

"So, you guys have all heard the rumors of my imminent retirement, right?"

They nodded.

"Well, I'm here to tell you that they're true and," she glanced at her watch worriedly, "thisis'FerreandEnjythey'rethenewleadersbye!" She dashed over to Jehan, gave him a quick hug, and leapt over the barricade, calling, "Oh, and watch out for the Phantom!" on her way out.

A second later they heard: "No, guys, I'm one of you! See my uniform?"

Then: "VIVE LA FRANCE! VIVE L'AVINIR! VIVE LA SALSA!"

A gunshot.

"Well, that's a pity," remarked Courfeyrac.

"Er...well, then!" Combeferre said, looking somewhat shaken. "We are pleased to introduce our new sponsor, Mademoiselle Cosette Fauchelevaunt!" A beautiful, cheerful-looking girl came traipsing out of the Corinthe and waved in the general direction of the crowd, looking around, interested.

"Why are you letting a girl on the barricade?" Courfeyrac was the one to say it. He coughed and, looking at her again, said, "Not that I'm complaining."

"Excuse me! But who exactly are you and why are you such a sexist pig?" Cosette asked in a voice as clear as a bell and as dangerous as a Punjab Lasso, coming up to Courfeyrac and poking him in the chest. "Women have rights too, you know! I care for France just as much as you do, and if I can give my money to buy you people weaponry, then I think I can dang well come up to the barricade myself and see what you're going to do with it!"

Unfortunately, as Cosette was about a hundred and thirty years ahead of her time, this speech was met with blank stares and awkward shuffling of feet.

She sniffed. "I'm going to go check on that drunk fellow passed out upstairs." She trotted off.

"Ow," Courfeyrac said, a little late.

Marius, standing next to him, was in shock. "It's Ursule!" he murmured, also rather belatedly. "Before she moved away...we stared at each other in the Luxembourg...I guess you could say we were sweethearts. But...her name is Cosette?" Marius pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket with the letters 'U.F.' on it, looked at it, and shrugged.

"Marius, she's so beautiful!" whispered Courfeyrac.

"Yeah," Marius sighed. "I guess she doesn't remember me, though."

Meanwhile, Enjolras and Combeferre were meeting the rest of the insurgents.

"Ciao, Monsieurs!" an older man with white hair said, bowing to them. "Ah ahm Valjean, ze first and best marksmahn for ze barreecahd."

"Pleased to meet you, Monsieur Valjean," Enjolras said, turning to Combeferre and mouthing, What sort of accent is that? Combeferre shrugged.

A small gamin popped up out of nowhere. "I'm Gavroche! I stand around and be awesome. Anyhoo, here's the spy, we keep him in the corner here." Apparently Gavroche had appointed himself as tour guide. He gestured to a man tied to a pillar in the corner of the wine shop. "Yes, this is Javert, say hello to him, gentlemen—"

Combefere and Enjolras did as they were told and waved to the spy.

"This over here is my friend Courfeyrac," Gavroche said. "And this is Marius Pontmercy—"

"Pontmercy? Curious name," Combeferre said.

"It's French."

"Exotic! Any relation to the not-very-famous colonel of Napoleon's?" Enjolras, with his extensive knowledge of French history, asked.

"His son, Monsieur! Always has his head up in the clouds, I'm afraid..." Gavroche shook his head.

"I wonder—" Combeferre began, craning his head back to look at Valjean. "If Monsieur Valjean would be willing to demonstrate his skills for us?

"But ahf coarse, Monsieur!" Valjean said, overhearing him. "Feuilly, mah gun!" The student obediently handed him the carbine and set up a target. Monsieur Valjean took aim and fired. The bullet hit the exact center of the target.

Combeferre and Enjolras applauded enthusiastically. Valjean smiled, bowed, and was aiming to shoot again when—

THUNK! A barrel came crashing off of the barricade and onto Valjean's foot.

"OWIEOWIEOWIEOWIE!" he screamed, holding his foot and hopping up and down.

"SHE'S HERE, THE PHANTOM OF THE BARRICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!" screeched Courfeyrac.

"Monsieur! Monsieur, are you all right?" Combeferre asked Valjean, apparently not hearing Courfeyrac's proclamation. Valjean nodded piteously. "Then who was responsible for shoring up that section of the barricade? Show yourself!"

A young, well-dressed man with a flower in his buttonhole who was twirling a knife, said, "I was, but I'm certain it was well-supported when I finished it, sir!" What this out-of-character-character was doing at the barricade will, possibly, remain forever unknown. We'll just chalk it up as a plot convenience for now. "It must've been a ghost!"

"IT'S THE PHANTOM OF THE BARRICADE! SHE'S HERE!" Courfeyrac shouted, highly annoyed that no one was paying him any attention.

I, however, will, and will recognize this piece of news to be worthy of ending the chapter.

This chapter has caused THREE new additions to the cast list.

UBALDO PIANGI...JAVERT

FEUILLY...REYER...I GUESS

M. LEFEVRE...MARSEILLAISE (OR, JACQUES LEFEBVRE, KNIGHT OF THE PURPLE PANCAKES OR SOMETHING, AS SHE SOMETIMES CALLS HERSELF)