A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm not dead, I promise! I just got addicted to Abaisse...and now I'm sick and I have to watch the 2000 LM miniseries so I can laugh at it. So yeah and um here is a short chapter. I will not abandon this story! Or I'll at least tell you if I do! And I'll get around to updating DFW! I PROMISE! I'm so sorry...*sob*...
As everyone rushed around, extremely excited by the fact that a piece of the barricade had broken off, an envelope fluttered down, landing amidst the carnage. Gavroche bent down and picked it up, noting its red seal. Glancing up, he put the envelope in his pocket and disappeared mysteriously.
"Monsieur, these things do happen," Combeferre tried to console the enraged Valjean, but to no use—the white-haired man was as enraged as a Spanish-Italian soprano who has been interrupted in her rendition of an aria from Hannibal's third act. Just as an example.
"For ze pazt-a zree yahs, dese zings-a dew 'appahn!" he exclaimed. (I'm serious, this is what it sounds like Carlotta is saying.) "And deed Mademoiselle LeFebvre stop zem from 'appening? Nao! And yew tew," he pointed at Enjolras and Combeferre, "Yew are as bahd as 'er." Enjolras and Combeferre were taken aback. "'Dese zings-a dew 'appahn,'" Valjean said mockingly. "Well, unteel-a yew stop zese-a zings from 'appahning, zis zing," he said, pointing at himself, "does-a not 'appahn!"
He stalked off, calling to Extras Number 7 and 32, "Yew two! Bring mah cahndlesteeks." Extras 7 and 32 meekly followed him, the former pausing to deliver a biting, "Amateurs," to Enjolras and Combeferre.
The two exchanged a what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into glance.
"Ciao," Valjean said in his unidentifiable accent as he exited the scene. "Now yew see. Bye-a bye-a, I'm really leaving-a.
Feuilly shook his head and collapsed on the ground.
"Monsieur Valjean—he will be coming back, won't he?" Enjolras asked him as he left. Feuilly shrugged and lay down, muttering about a headache.
"You think so, Monsieur?" Gavroche, who had been uncharacteristically quiet up till this point, asked, smirking.
As they turned to look at the boy, he held up a paper. "I have a message from the Barricade Ghost."
"Oh, Robespierre in heaven, you're all obsessed," Enjolras cried, throwing up his hands.
Gavroche, ignoring him, continued, "She welcomes you to her barricade—"
"Wait just one minute!" Combeferre interrupted. "Why does this 'ghost' suddenly own our barricade?" In a lower tone, he added, "I would mention the fact that women have no place at a barricade in the first place, but I have no doubt Mademoiselle Fauchelevaunt would start jabbering on about Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton again..."
"And commands that you leave powder barrel five open for her use..."
They number their powder barrels? Enjolras mouthed to Combeferre. Combeferre, looking bored, shrugged.
"...and reminds you that her salary is due."
That got Combeferre's attention. "Her salary?"
"Madmoiselle LeFebvre used to give her 200 francs a day," Gavroche continued, oblivious to the leaders' cartoonishly popped-out eyes. "Perhaps, with a bourgeoisie as your patron, you can afford more?" He glanced up. "Don't worry, she gives it back almost as soon as you give it to her, insisting that she 'doesn't want your money.' Not sure why she asks for it in the first place, matter of fact..."
"Gamin, I had hoped to announce that fact to the public tonight, when Mademoiselle Fauchelevaunt was to join us for the battle!" Enjolras was extremely angry, though he had not quite reached the level of the glare-o-death™.
Marius glanced up sharply at this, and began whispering with Courfeyrac.
"Obviously, we are now going to lose before we have even begun, as it appears we have lost our best marksman!"
"Surely, there must be someone nearly as good..." Combeferre suggested, but this was shot down immediately by Feuilly.
"There is no one as good as Le Valjean!"
Awkward ending...yah...but it's something!
This movie sucks. Mme. Thenardier is way prettier than Fantine. And ew. That's the Bishop? Ew, ew, ew...