Chapter Five
Secrets are Kind of Like Quick Sand...
Aria sat a cup of green tea in front of the brunette and took a sip of her own, after sitting across Spencer at the small kitchen table. She took a small sip, and then put it down in front of her. "So what did you want to talk about?" Aria asked raising her eyes brows and setting her clamped fists together on the table, looking intrigued.
"Um," Spencer said watching the swirls she was creating, with her circling spoon, in her tea instead of her tiny friend. "I ran into someone today." She said her voice trailing, her mocha eyes were still on the tea.
"Oh, who?" Aria asked, completely clueless.
"He's from Rosewood," Spencer added.
Aria gulped, "Oh," She said tightly. "Who?"
"Toby." Spencer whispered, finally looking at her friend across the table who's hazel eyes were glazed with worries. She didn't say anything, but her red lips parted slightly, and she nodded her head slightly showing understanding. "He said something," Spencer said lightly. "He said you gave him my address?" She laughed nervously, continuing to stir her tea mindlessly. "Isn't that crazy?" Her voice faded from the silent nervous laughs to something more serious, with a hint of worry.
"It's not that crazy." She said meekly, her hazel eyes flickering.
"What?" She breathed finally stopping the circular motion she was creating in her tea, and putting the spoon down harshly onto the napkin beside her.
"I-" She spattered. "It's true." She admitted.
"Aria, what?" Spencer gaped, "Why?" She spattered. "You of all people, I would have never thought. Why would you do that?" She asked her words becoming more demanding as she went on. "What would ever cause you to think that would be okay? Why would you trust him, why wouldn't you warn me?" she questioned.
Aria let a low sigh, before glancing up at ceiling knitting her forehead worriedly. She bit the inside of her cheeks with quite a force, and balled up her fists, her sharp nails digging into her palms, and leaving red marks in their place. After all the years, the guilt had just kept building and building. She knew the truth would have to come out sometime. She knew she was going to be the one to have to tell Spencer. She knew she was going to hated by not alone Spencer, but Hanna and Emily too. She was scared, no terrified of the outcome, but this secret had been kept too long, and she needed to know the truth. Especially now.
"Spencer there's something you don't know." She finally said, stopping her friends interrogation and causing a puzzled look to form on her face.
"What?" Spencer asked.
"Look, I want you to know that I didn't know what else to do, and I had too." She exclaimed putting up her hands in a gesture.
"Do what?" Spencer demanded, growing impatient.
"There's a lot more to that night, than you think." Aria gulped, her hazel eyes locked on Spencer's.
"Okay," Spencer said her voice shaking as she stared deeply into Aria's eyes looking for the hidden answers she needed. But, all she found was nervousness and worries, mixed with guilt and anxiety.
Aria tried collecting her self, tried to figure out how she was going to put this, but she ended up blurting "I lied about Toby being the one who did all those things to me."
"Wait, what?" Spencer asked baffled.
"It wasn't him." She sighed letting her hazel eyes fall onto the table top. "I lied."
"What are you talking about Aria?" Spencer demanded firmly.
"Just listen okay?" She begged looking up at her stunned friend who barely gave her a nod, "So, A did send me a text saying to go to that address, but it wasn't Toby there. It was Mona." She confessed, as Spencer's brown eyes widened with surprise mixed with confusion.
"Aria, what-"
"Just please let me tell you before I don't have the courage to-" She pleaded, her hazel eyes filling with tears. "Look," Her voice cracked slightly. "I walked into the shed, and then someone shut the door behind me, and I turned around and it was Mona. She said she had a propitiation for me."
"Hello Aria." Mona said viciously, her black hoodie framing her face. Aria nearly fell back at the surprise. She let out a small shriek and moved back from the physco in front of her.
"What are-how did you escape Radley?" Aria fumbled, her voice trembling with fear.
"I have my ways." Mona's lips curled up into a more defined evil smile.
Spencer leaned closer her chocolate eyes alerted open, and unblinking. "She said that she would leave me alone, let me have it easy, if I just listened. She said she would let me and Ezra be, and I only had to do one thing." Aria went on.
"What do you want from me?" She shrieked, her voice full of panic, and her eyes watering with worried tears. She felt her heart pound loudly, and she felt as if she moved she would fully collapse. Her shaking was tremendous and visible to Mona, which brought her joy.
"Oh Aria, don't worry. It just involves some lying, and other props, but no need to get into that right now. You're the best liar right? According to your friends?"" Mona teased haughtily, her voice high and how she acted in Rosewood High as the 'It' girl with Hanna before she was discovered to be 'A'.
"what-what do you want me to do?" She sputtered, stiffing.
"I'm going to tie you up, and leave you here, and you're going to tell those bitches it was Toby Cavanaugh." Mona ordered in a more deadly tone that would strike her as being a maniac, which she actually was.
"Why would I do that?" Aria asked baffled. "You expect me to make Spencer believe her boyfriends A?" Aria exclaimed. "No, she'll be devastated." Aria said her hazel eyes landing on Mona's feet. "I'm not going to make Spencer believe her boyfriend's A."
"Who said I was lying about that part?" Mona smirked a sparkle coming into her dark eyes. Aria furrowed her eye brows taking in a deep breath.
"What are you talking about Mona?" Aria asked.
"You stupid bitches are so underestimating. You think you can topple all over everyone with out any consequences." She rolled her eyes, before locking them back with the terrified girl in front of her. "Well, you're wrong."
"What are you saying?" She demanded with all the might she could.
"I'm saying," She clucked her tongue, and her lips yet again forming into another sinister smile of doom. "Toby being part of the A team isn't the lie," Aria couldn't believe her ears, no Mona had to be lying. She didn't know Toby well, but she knew how much Spencer loved him. Mona was just doing this to mess with her.
"I- I don't believe you." Aria shot back.
"No?" Mona said in her high pitch innocent voice, as she pulled out her phone from her pocket. "We'll see about that." Mona's voice trailed as Aria stared strangely at her. Mona put the phone on speaker, and signaled Aria to be quiet by raising a slinky gloved finger to her lips. Aria breathed heavily, and couldn't break her eyes away from Mona. She was searching for answers, but it was no use.
"Hey Toby." Mona said smugly.
"Mona." He said dryly. "What do you want?"
Aria gaped slightly, and her breathing completely stopped. That sounded a lot like Toby...
"Just making sure you didn't wander off, and you're waiting for that package." Mona said.
"I am." He replied. "I don't see why you couldn't do it, have something planned Mona?" He asked, his voice full of distaste, but also vengeance.
"Why?" She retorted. "Did you?"
"No." He answered immediately.
"Don't lie to me." She said nastily. "I know you had plans with her,"
Aria was completely entranced with the call between Mona and Toby. What the hell was Mona doing? Why was she giving this information away to Aria? What was going on?
"Okay, I did Mona. Are you happy?" He shot back with total disgust.
"Yes," She smiled. "Talk to you soon, Toby."
"Bye." He said dryly. Mona ended the call, and then looked at Aria with approval. Her mouth was hanging open, and her hazel eyes were wider than usual.
"Was that- That couldn't be." Aria stuttered. "You did something."
"Look Aria," Mona snapped. "I'm growing impatient, and I wouldn't test me if I were you. If you're not going to take the bribe, than I guess i'm changing this into a threat." She said taking steps closer to Aria, backing her against the wall. "You either do as I say, or you'll be the next dead body they'll be looking for in Rosewood."
Aria gulped, and her eyes roamed around the shed. She could try to fight, but who knows what Mona had up her sleeve? She tried pulling out her phone, but Mona got to it first and threw it against the shed's wall hard enough for her phone's back to fly out, and the battery following. Now Mona was screaming, and Aria was trying to make a run for it. Mona tackled her to the ground and Aria let a groan of pain. "This is your last warning. Do as I say or else." she hissed into the tiny girl's ear.
"At first she said that if I listened to her, that she would leave me alone, that she would leave me and Ezra alone, if I told you Toby was the one who tied me up, and attacked me." Aria spattered, as Spencer's heart dropped into her stomach. "But I didn't go along with it at first-"
"What are you saying? Toby wasn't A?" She asked frantically.
"No, okay listen." She said meekly. "Mona told me that Toby was A, and then she proved it by calling him. It was him on the other line. Then she said that she would kill me if I didn't listen, and I tried to run away but she tackled me, and I just didn't know what else to do-" She said, her words all jumbled together and her hazel eyes squinting with sorrow."Spencer, I'm so sorry."
"So that wasn't Toby who did all those awful things to you?" Spencer asked hysterically. "You lied about everything?"
"I didn't know what else to do!" Aria defended. "He was still A! I didn't lie about that!" Aria exclaimed.
"Why are you just telling me this now?" Spencer yelled standing up. "Why would you wait almost five years to tell me?" She demanded.
"I just," She sighed also stepping up. "When the whole A thing was over, you were eight months pregnant, you seemed to be okay with Toby being A, and I just didn't want to make you go down that road again. He's still was A, it doesn't change-"
"No, Aria." Spencer shook her head sternly. "It changes everything!" She exclaimed. "For the past four and half years, I've never believed anything he ever said about loving me because I knew that he would never do that to my best friend if he actually loved me. I never listened to any thing he had to say about his explanations and reasons, and I was completely devastated because I truly believed he never loved me." She said hysterically, tears gathering in her mocha eyes. " I can't believe you would wait this long to tell me."
"I'm sorry." Was all Aria murmured. What else was she supposed to say? She had no idea her friend was still hurting from him. She had no idea that she had all those thoughts.
Spencer scoffed before rushing out the door, ignoring Aria's pleas to wait, and stay. Spencer was sick of the lies. Sick of the secrets her friends kept from her, whether it was to protect her or whether if they were just too cowardly to confess.
Spencer glanced at the letter on the top of her desk for the twelfth time in the last thirty minutes. She couldn't believe her friends read it, they read it before she even read it. She tried to read it many times, she even opened the envelope, but only could read the first line which only consisted of 'Dear, Spencer'. How could her friends do this? Why couldn't they have just told her, and she would have forced her self to read the letter. No, instead they totally violated her trust, and privacy. They totally disregarded her feelings, and read the letter he left her. Her last connection to him. The letter that was meant for her, not her friends.
She didn't know what it said, or even if what it said was true. But it was still her letter, from him to her.
Not being able to stand the curiosity anymore, she grabbed the envelope, removed the letter from the envelope and pulled it out.
"Dear Spencer,
Knowing you, there is a big chance you won't even read this. But if you are, please keep reading.
I want you to know that I love you. I need you to understand, that I love you. So much. I might have lied, a lot. But, I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you, I still love you. More than you'll ever know. I know it doesn't look like it right now, but you just have to believe me. I hope you will."
Her hands began to tremble as she read the letter, and her tears began to fall quickly.
"There are things you don't know. You aren't safe, and neither are your friends. I don't know everything. It's not safe for you to know, what I know. I know I sound like you, but she get's a little mad when some one knows too much, just look what happened to Hanna. Knowing who's behind all this isn't going to stop them, you need to figure how to stop them. I tried, but failed. You're strong, and smart, and I'm sure you'll figure it out. Don't trust any one.
I know this isn't much, but just know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for lying to you, and I'm sorry for leaving you right now. I'm a coward and I know it. Things will be better this way. For you, for me, for everyone. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I've never done any thing to really physically harm you or really put you in danger. I would never do that. I tried my best to protect you, and change their plans. But I still had to do what they asked of me of, to fool them into thinking I didn't love you, and that's why they turned on me. They figured out that my feelings for you were real, and outed me.
I told them a few things, I probably shouldn't have, and I did a few things to lead you into the wrong directions. But I'm not the one behind all this, I think you know who is. You just have to think a little more harder, and stop following the obvious leads, most of the time, she's just framing those people.
Love always,
Toby."
By the time she finished, there was multiple stained tear drops on the paper, and she was crying hysterically. God dammit, why did he have this much affect on her from a stupid letter? If he 'loved' her like he said he did, he would have given her answers, not this. He wouldn't have skipped town, and ran away instead of fighting. It made her sick, she held her body frame tightly, trying to hold her self together. She began to see blurry images, and she felt like she had not enough oxygen. She choked on her sobs so badly, that she started coughing furiously. The letter crumbled in her fists, and she weekly walked to her bed, her sobs slowly fading.
She set the letter down, and began to rub her now pink eyes. She thought she was done with the tears, but she was wrong. She breathed steadily, and collected her self, letting one last tear drop before breaking down all over again. She didn't even know why she was crying. She didn't know if she was crying because the reality of Toby, her Toby being A was once again sinking in, or if she just plain out missed him. It felt like so long since she had last seen him, let alone been with him. She just really needed him to be with her, but she knew that couldn't happen. And maybe, just maybe, this was closure. Maybe she was on her way to acceptance.
Spencer softly cried all the way home. After coming to a stop, she gripped the steering wheel tightly and let out a small wail, bowing her head down, and letting the tears free fall of her cheek bones into her lap. How could Aria lie to her all these years? Spencer didn't know what to do. She didn't want to be upset with one of the only three people she trusts, or trusted. She thought her friends always had her back, but apparently only when holding a knife.
She couldn't go inside like this, she couldn't let Noah know something was wrong. He would demand answers, being the nosy investigator he was, but he was also her little sweet boy. He cared so much for her, and she knew it would make him upset to see her in this bad of shape. She knew he would begin to cry as well at the sight of her own tears. He was so caring, she didn't know where he got it. So she gathered her self together with a stifled inhale, and forced her self to stop crying.
She looked a mess, luckily this morning, she didn't put too much make up on, but her eyes were a soft shade of pink, and puffed out deeply. Her skin was glistening with tears, and she simply just looked worn out. She grabbed a few tissues from the safety composite box beside her, and began wiping her eyes softly.
A few days passed since the news of Toby being A dropped upon them. Spencer still didn't believe it. She still was reluctant to believe, the guy she was in love with, was the one behind all this. Aria had to have made a mistake, or something. It just couldn't be true.
Spencer hadn't been talking much to Aria since the night she delivered the news, she hadn't really been talking to Hanna or Emily who were beginning to tell Spencer 'Why would Aria make that up?' or 'Maybe you should listen Aria, he does have every reason to hate us'. More Hanna than Emily said things like this, but even Emily was starting to believe what Aria was saying to be true after not receiving any more texts from A since. Spencer thought they were all just panicking over nothing, he couldn't be this insane person in that faceless hoodie.
But she hadn't been talking to Toby much either. Part of her, a small part of her, was beginning to fear that Aria was right. She had avoided all his calls, and texts, in the last three days, and he was beginning to think something was up. He had sent her a text nearly forty minutes ago saying "did I do something wrong? why aren't you calling or responding to me?" Why wasn't she? She didn't know herself.
Spencer was knocked out of her thoughts, as she heard a creak coming from her door. She sat up immediately from her slouching position after seeing who it was, "Toby," She said raising her eye brows.
"Your parents let me in." He announced closing the door behind him. She stepped off her bed, and took a step closer to him. "Is there a reason you've been ignoring me? Did I do something?" He asked timidly. "Because, I'm sensing a cold shoulder."
"No," She gulped, folding her arms guardedly.
"Then what's going on?" He took a step forward, the two now only a foot apart.
"Nothing." She replied dryly.
"Really?" He asked unconvinced, arching an eyebrow. She simply nodded, and he let out a sigh. "Spencer, please just tell me what's going on." He lowered his blue eyes pleadingly, removing the foot between them with another step, he attempted to grab her hand, but she flinched away.
"I-" She gulped. "Where were you on Friday night?" she asked chewing on the inside of her cheek nervously.
"Work," He responded instantly. "You know that."
"I guess it's just weird," She laughed moving her brown eyes downwards.
"What?"
"You've just been working a lot lately." She murmured. "What are you working on right now?"
"A house." he retorted. "The team is short a few members," he said briskly.
"Where is it? Maybe, I can stop by one day."She said eyeing him curiously.
"Why would you want to do that?" He murmured, his voice becoming slightly higher in pitch. "It's just a house, nothing special."
"I just want to see where you're spending...all this time." She shrugged stiffly.
"Spencer, what's this about? Because the last time I talked construction with you, you had your eyes glued to your computer, uninterested.
"Look, nothing." She sighed with a foolish smile, what was she doing? He was telling the truth, and she was just being ridiculous. He would never lie to her, let alone hurt her. She smiled slightly at him, "I'm sorry, I just I feel like we never see each other any more." She sighed reaching to him, to cup her hand on the back of his neck, and the other on his cheek. "I just miss you." She admitted solemnly.
"I miss you too." He said sadly, letting his hand grip gently on her arm which was leading up to his face. "I'm so sorry Spencer, I should be with you more. I'm trying my best." He said, but their moment was shortly lived as his phone began to ring. As Toby waited to let it pass, Spencer took note and let her hand fall away from him, and back to her sides.
"Aren't you going to get it?" She asked.
"It can wait." He answered quickly.
"No, just answer." She said.
Toby reluctantly pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket, and what he feared most was staring right at him. It wasn't a contact, and it didn't have a picture. It was simply a number, but Toby knew that dreadful number by heart. It was Mona. He quickly pressed end, and shoved the phone back into his pocket. Swiftly removing the nervous expression on his face into a soft smile.
"Who was that?" She asked.
"No one." He retorted quickly. "Wrong number." He corrected himself.
His phone began to ring again, and he clenched his fists tightly letting it ring. "You should at least tell them it's the wrong number." Spencer said glancing at the ringing phone, and then back at Toby.
"I'm sure they'll get the point." he responded with a more colder tone to his voice than planned.
She rolled her eyes down to the still ringing phone, and then it stopped. It caused a silence between the two, and she didn't even look at Toby, she kept her eyes on the phone. Suddenly, he reached for her chin, gently forcing her to look up at him. She had tears in her mocha eyes and her frown would be visible from a mile away. "Spencer," he cooed, "What's wrong?"
It was just a feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling of doubt, a gut feeling that told her he was lying. "I don't know," She said blinking and moving away from Toby. She paced around her room nervously. He kept his eyes on her for awhile, speechless. "Are you telling me the truth?" She finally stopped pacing, and looked him straight in the eyes.
"Yes," His voice trailed nervously, his loving blue eyes flickering.
"Was that a lie?" She asked immediately.
His mouth parted briefly before he said "Spencer where is this all coming from?"
"You didn't answer the question." She whispered. "Please just tell me the truth, Toby." She pleaded.
He gulped, what was she talking about? She couldn't know... could she? "I-" he stuttered.
"You weren't working late on Friday, were you?" She asked, the pace of her words increasing.
"I, um." He mumbled. In a way he was... "Spencer," He sighed reaching for her hand, but she snagged it away quickly.
"Was Aria telling the truth?" She asked narrowing her mocha eyes.
"What? About what-" He asked before getting cut off by Spencer.
"Are you-" She gulped backing away.
"Spencer," He murmured softly, he too had a gut feeling. She knew.
"Tell me the truth!" She yelled.
"I-" He stuttered. "I'm, I know about A." he said softly,
"What about A?" She asked hesitantly. Maybe, she was over reacting...
"A lot." He said.
Or maybe she wasn't. "So it's true..." she said slowly, fear creeping in her mocha eyes. She wasn't scared of him, she was scared of the reality.
"What?" He breathed.
"You're A." She chocked.
"Spencer, it's not like that-" He defended.
"You didn't deny it." She stated, tears escaping her eyes.
"I've helped them, but i had-"
"Get out." She screamed.
"Spencer, just let me explain!" He begged.
"Leave!" She screamed again, her breathing heavily increasing.
With one last glance at the broken girl, he left her room with a sigh.
Wow there was a lot of flashbacks in the last two chapters, It will start getting more equal and eventually there will be like one flashback per chapter. So yeah. But, it's necessary. Sorry their was no Noah in this chapter really, Noah fans! I don't know how I feel about this chapter, to be honest. ugh. Tell me what you think?(:
Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o much for the reviews&favorites&follows&asks on tumblr. You guys are great3 I feel the begining was gooood, and then the end, not so much? Idk. Tell me what you think! (: