A/N: So, you wanted me to update again today :) I will. I have a reason for Casey to be scared to commit, but I don't know if you're gonna like it. It's pretty dark, but it's the reason I have commitment issues myself. So, if you don't like it in the story, I will remove/change the chapter. But for now I'll go that way. Well, enjoy this one. :) Oh, this will be the one where we meet Casey's ex, too :)

After they had destroyed Casey's childhood memories with a lot of sex in her bedroom, the next morning they were having breakfast with Casey's parents and brother.

"What are you going to do today, Case?" her mother asked.

"I thought it might be great to show Alex the small-town I grew up in." Casey suggested, looking at Alex for approval.

"That seems nice to me." she answered.

A few hours later they had showered and dressed up to go outside.

"Let's just walk. It's not huge, so it's doable." Casey said.

They walked to some small store at the end of the street. Casey grabbed Alex's hand and tangled her fingers into hers. Just before they wanted to enter it, someone called Casey's name.

"Casey Novak!" a blonde woman walked to them. Casey knew her. She didn't want to see her, but she was too close to pretend she didn't see her.

"Hey, Marisa." Casey said.

"Oh my god, long time no see." she said, pulling Casey into a hug. Casey saw Alex grinned, because of Casey's face. "So, who's this?"

"This is Alex. She's my girlfriend." the mood of Marisa changed a bit. Her eyes gave Alex a death glare, but Alex couldn't be scared away.

"Hey, Marisa. Nice to meet you." she smirked while she extended her hand. Casey could tell Marisa ground her teeth while she shook Alex's hand.

"You too." she just said.

"We have to go, Marisa. Bye." Casey said. She wanted to leave as soon as possible. She turned away from the store and pulled Alex with her.

"What's wrong?" she asked Casey. "While are we going some place else? And who was that person?" she seemed confused and frowned.

"We're going some place with more privacy if you want to know. I can't tell you with her spying on me." Casey said. They walked for almost ten minutes, when they came at some secluded place. They sat down on a bench.

"Are you gonna tell me what all that was about?" Alex asked.

"Yeah.. that was my ex. As in, she used to be my best friend. I met her when I was thirteen years old. We were sort of in a relationship when we were sixteen. It stopped when we were like seventeen or something. Then we stopped being friends when we were nineteen. She was depressed and blamed me for it. I was sick of it, so I ended it."

"Ah, that explains a little more." Alex looked into Casey's eyes. "Is she the reason why you're scared to commit?"

"One of the reasons. There are some things that happened.." Casey sighed. "I can't tell you. You will hate me."

Alex laid her hand on Casey's leg. "You know I won't, Case. You can tell me everything."

Casey sighed one more time and started to tell. "Okay, where to start. When I was young, as in on primary school, people picked on me, because I was different. They didn't like me. I never had so many friends. When I was in third grade, one person invited my whole class, except of me. That's one of the things that really got onto me. Then I had this group of friends for three years or so.. and I was at high school freshman year.. And once I was in the bathroom and I heard them talk about me. They were talking about how they hated me and hanging around with me. They were in the same class as I was so they discussed who had so sit next to me. I vomited after I heard that. I was sick of it. I tried to avoid them as much as possible. I tried to avoid all people in general. I had no friends. I was really depressed. The sun burned my eyes and every sound hurt my head. I always had headaches.

I stopped eating, because I lost all control in life. That was the one thing I could control. I lost twenty pounds. My parents didn't notice, because I only ate in the evening, just a little bit though, so they didn't become suspicious. The rest of the day I ate nothing. My lowest weight was 103 pounds, and I was only five feet and five inches tall.

A few months later one of my ex-friends sat next down to me in gym class and told me I had gotten really skinny. She never really noticed, until she saw me in the changing room. She told the teacher and he told my parents. I had to go to therapy, but I didn't trust them so I lied. I told them I had no eating disorder, although I weighed myself every time I could, to see what effect food had on my weight. I stayed this way for two years.

Besides school, I had a few friends on the internet. One of them was Marisa. I talked to them everyday. Marisa and another one knew of my problems, although I heard from Marisa that the other one once said that she didn't understand why Marisa liked me. Marisa forced me to eat again and after a year I was able to eat half a cookie at school. That was a real breakthrough.

When I was at the end of sophomore year I ate breakfast again. And I met this girl I knew when I was younger. I became friends with her again and she introduced me to her friends. I finally had friends at high school. I fell in love with this girl.. I found out I liked girls. That was the next bump in my life. I told Marisa and I was so sick of myself. I had found something else to find some comfort in.

That means, I scratched myself with my nail file. And I chose the nail file, because a knife had two disadvantages. It didn't hurt as much and it left better noticeable scars. So every night I stabbed my legs with a file and relieved my emotional pain. I once scratched 'hate' in my leg, just because I hated myself so much. Marisa noticed it once and forbid me to do it again.

When I was fifteen, I met this guy on the internet. We always talked about ways to commit suicide, since that was the thing I thought about the most. I tried therapy again, but it didn't work out. I got more depressed than I already was. I didn't trust the psychiatrist. When I stopped, I felt a lot better than before and I kissed Marisa. We experimented until we were seventeen. It just stopped right then. My junior year of high school went pretty well. I had friends again. I liked going to school. I didn't think so much about suicide anymore. When I was at my senior year, my mom got breast cancer. I really fucked up that year, so I passed with minimal grades.

When I went into college, Marisa and I saw each other every week, because we studied in the same town. But she got depressed because she thought she had chosen the wrong study. She blamed me for everything that happened to her and I spoke to her a little less, because I was busy and had other friends. I didn't speak to her every day anymore. One day I became really sick of it, so I told her I didn't want to speak to her again. I never spoke to her ever since. Well, just till now." Casey sighed. "And after this, I'm sure you hate me now, because I was the exact opposite from you when you were young."

"I don't hate you. I still love you. I think it's really great you never killed yourself, although you had suicidal thoughts. What kept you alive?"

"My dad always told me that if I didn't want to live for myself, I had to live for others."

"I think it's really great of you to tell me this. I know you were scared to tell me." Alex wrapped her arm around Casey's shoulders and pulled her into a hug. She didn't realize she was crying until Alex wiped away some tears..