Chapter 18

Toby sat in front of Spencer Hastings, timidly, he felt like he was walking on thin ice, every time he was around her. He felt like everything he said would plummet him into the cold depths of loneliness he had once been in (has been in since he lost her,) he was wary of everything he said, and he felt like he had to think before saying a single word, fearing that if he said one tiny thing that didn't appeal to her, that she would storm out, but not before calling him the devil. He was quite surprised; she called him this morning, and asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee with her (well, he wasn't shocked about the coffee part.) Sure, he had a small amount of time with her in the toy shop two weeks ago, but he didn't think she would be inviting him to a coffee outing. Although, he was very delighted to receive the invitation, that he got to spend more time with her, and possibly continue the ongoing investigation of who Noah really was, and who his father was. After spending time with the little boy, and getting more of a look at him, he had a even bigger feeling that he is a much bigger part of the boy's life, than he is played out to be. He felt a strange connection with him, like he already loved him, even though he's only met him twice, the first time, being a nearly five second meet. He wanted to ask Spencer so badly, who Noah's father was, and if it was indeed himself, but he couldn't find the courage too. The thin ice beneath him, stopped him. But, he promised himself that he would ask, he would ask soon, because he couldn't hold back the question, forever.

"So, what have you been up to? We, never really caught up." Spencer asked, after a long awkward pause, setting her coffee cup on the table.

Toby gulped. What has he been up to? His life accomplishments weren't exactly the greatest. He's worked on construction projects, spent his nights at book stores playing scrabble with random strangers, and the longest he's lived anywhere since he was eighteen was five months. He didn't have much to say, and he was positive what he did have to say, wouldn't encourage her to have another cup of coffee with him, let alone tell him the truth about Noah. "Um," he said softly, picking at the cardboard wrapping on his coffee, "Not, much to be honest."

"It's been five years, are you telling me you just sat on your ass all that time? Or?" She tilted her head down, with a smile, that made his heart drop. He missed her smile, she was so beautiful, in every single way. But, her smile, was his favorite asset. Seeing her happy, made him a little bit happier.

"I mean," he shrugged. "I haven't been doing much…I've kind of just been…hopping from place to place, working on houses, and construction projects, and,"

"so, you still do construction?" she asked, biting the insides of her cheeks. The past was a touchy subject, and it occurred to her that this wouldn't be so easy. She couldn't just have one coffee with him, to determine something bigger than the both of them. It was going to take time, she was going to have to develop their new friendship gradually, or else it would all go to waste.

He nodded his head slowly, "Yeah…" he breathed, "I mean I took some finance classes, and business classes, here and there too. But, I just haven't found anywhere to settle yet…I guess. Nothing really feels like home,"

Mindlessly, Spencer let out a quiet "yeah." Her home was wherever Noah was, but it still felt empty. Back in high school, she would relate to Toby as her home, so when he left, she sort of became homeless like all the years before.

"So, how's Noah?" Toby finally asked the question that was on the tip of his tongue since he stepped into this coffee shop.

"Good," Spencer replied simply, bobbing her head. "Great."

"Oh, that's good." Toby said awkwardly, mimicking her nods.

Spencer didn't know how to form this friendship, everything was so awkward. Luckily, a ringing phone came to the rescue.

Toby pulled his phone out of his navy zip up sweatshirt, and sighed inwardly, his cheeks puffing out. "I have to take this, I'm sorry." He announced.

"Okay," Spencer mumbled, staring at him with dazzled eyes, as he left the table, and walked towards the exit of the coffee shop.

She bit her fingers, staring at him. Why couldn't he take the call here? She wondered to herself, but shook her head at the thought. No, just because he had to go somewhere else to take a call, doesn't mean something is up. It was normal. She needed to take a deep breath, and relax.

He came back a few minutes later, his facial expression completely different from when he left. He looked distraught even. "I'm sorry Spencer, I really wanted to have coffee with you, but I have to go, I'm sorry." He said fumbling on his words.

"Is everything okay?" She stood up, furrowing her eyes at him.

He sighed, "It's my grandma, she um, has been in the hospital, and they're doing some operation, and she might not make it, so it might be my only…time to say goodbye." He said glumly.

"Oh," her mouth parted, as her brown eyes softened. "I hope everything goes well,"

"Me too." He agreed softly, "So, how about a rain check?"

"Sure," she smiled sadly.

"Goodbye Spencer,"

"Bye," she said, before he once again, exited the small coffee shop.

Spencer left the coffee shop shortly after Toby, (another coffee surely in hand, ) and went to pick up her son from kindergarten. Each time she would go to pick up Noah, she would wait right until the bell rung, run in, and then run out. It wasn't very Spencer like of her—it actually seemed like something Hanna would do—but she wanted to avoid Larson; whom picked up Sean quite a lot. It wasn't that she didn't like him, or that he wasn't her type, he was wonderful, but she didn't want a relationship. She was better off without it. All the complications that came with a relationship, were too much, especially when they're paired with her already extremely complicated life.

Except this time, she wasn't quick enough, someone caught her before she could run out of the small school, but it wasn't Larson, it was Tiffany; his sister. "Spencer," She said, causing Spencer to sigh, and turn around with a fake smile on her face. She hadn't seen Tiffany in awhile. Her hair appeared to be a shade lighter, and the smile on her face, made her look like the happiest person alive. In her left hand was a box; presumably something Sean brought in for show and tell, and in her right, was her son. "Hey, how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages! You look good,"

"Thanks, but I think you look better, did you do something with your hair, or something? You seem different." Spencer complimented.

"Actually," the blond laughed, "Hold on." She paused Spencer, and looked at Sean. "Hey buddy, you want to go play blocks with the other kids? I want to talk to miss Spencer for a second."

"Okay," The little boy mumbled, before running off.

"Noah, want to go with him?" She asked, following Tiffany's cue, that this wasn't talk for children.

"No, not really, I want to go home." He whined.

She sighed heavily, "Noah, go. I'll be done in a minute." She scolded. The little boy sighed, and followed Sean's footsteps, towards the blocks.

Tiffany stepped closer, smiling, "Anyways, actually no, I didn't do anything with my hair. You're probably going to think this is incredibly weird, and has nothing to do with my physical appearance! But, I met a guy." Her grin extended, as she shook her head back and forth in excitement.

"Oh, that's great!" Spencer smiled, "So," her voice trailed, "what's his name?" she asked like a little school girl.

"Rufus," She squealed giddily, "He's a doctor, actually! And just perfect! And he's a little older, but I mean I have a kid, so I can't expect to have the most perfect guy on the face of the planet right? And he's just—wonderful." She sighed, getting gooey eyed.

"He sounds….wonderful." Spencer laughed lightly, "Does he know about said kid, yet?"

"I told about him, on our second date." She said, biting her glossed bottom lip, "He was fine with it, but I haven't introduced them yet, you know, I want everything to be like, perfect before any of that."

"yeah, I know what you mean." Spencer agreed, except she didn't. She's never been in that situation before. She had a situation close to it, but at the same time it was completely different.

"Speaking of relationships," Tiffany said, nudging her friend in the shoulder. "I don't mean to get in the middle of things, but you left my brother pretty heartbroken."

"I'm sorry," Spencer sighed, closing her eyes briefly, "I just—it's complicated."

"He's a good guy," She said smacking her lips together.

"I know that, I just." She shrugged.

"Spencer look," She said putting a hand on her shoulder, "We are all scared of feelings, they sort of suck, but sometimes, they're great, they're amazing," She broke out into a smile, "and they transform into something bigger than us all."

"What? Love?" Spencer spat dryly.

"Yeah! Spencer, look I'm not saying I think my brother is your soul mate," she rolled her hazel eyes, "But, I think you should give him another chance. He's crazy about you, and while I think he is the biggest asshole in the world ninety five percent of the time, that other five percent of the time, he's really sweet."

Spencer dropped her eyes on the floor, "Yeah, I mean, he seems, great."

"So, give him one more chance!" she encouraged, "If you hate it, then I'll make him lay off, I mean how many times has he called you in the last month,"

"Too many to remember," Spencer chuckled softly, returning her eyes to her friend.

"Exactly, and that annoying persistency thing, it won't stop, in fact, it will probably get worse."

"I thought you were trying to convince me to go out with him, not the other way around?" Spencer laughed lightly.

"Please, just do it. For me? I'll even baby sit Noah for you while your out. Pleaseeeeee."

"You know Tiff, I don't think he's the only one with that annoying persistency trait," Spencer teased.

"Yes!" Tiffany exclaimed with a high pitch laugh, "Yes, okay I'm annoying too, it runs in the family. But, is that a yes?" She smiled, looking so engrossed with Spencer, that if some glorious movie star walked in the door right now, she still wouldn't peel her eyes away.

"Fine," Spencer agreed with a sigh. "Okay, you win."

"Yes!" She squealed jumping up and down, tugging on Spencer's arm. "Yes, yes, yes! So, you better call him, or else." She squinted her hazel eyes at her in a pathetic glare.

"Is that a threat?" Spencer scoffed with a laugh.

"Yeah, I'm not really good at the whole bitch face thing, but you seriously better, okay!" She yelled, as she walked towards her son, whom was playing with blocks, leaving a laughing Spencer alone.

"Noah, come on! We're going home now!" She yelled to her son, who of course now didn't want to come home.

…

"Can I be your best man, Caleb?" Noah asked Caleb, as he peered at the piles of ties, he had lined up on his bed. Today was Hanna and Caleb's engagement party. It was only two, but Hanna had insisted on getting ready early. She wanted everything to be flawless. Anyways, their apartment was compacted with people that afternoon. Well it wasn't that much, but more than usual. Emily, Caleb, Paige, and Aria were all present, and helping prepare for the engagement. Although Spencer hid in her room to avoid Aria, but she wasn't alone for long, Caleb had shown up, in desperate need to know what tie to wear, (also in desperate need to get out of the heard of woman raging outside).

"Sorry buddy, the positions filled," Caleb said, patting the little boy on the upper back, "But, I think I have something better you can do…"

"Really?" The little boy said in excitement, his blue eyes bulging out of his sockets.

"Yes," Caleb nodded, a smile creeping on his face, "You can be the ring bearer."

"What's that?"

"You protect the ring," Caleb told him.

Noah looked up at him, squinting his eyes, and scrunching up his face. "Why would the ring need protecting?"

"Because, it's very important to the whole ceremony, without it, there would be no wedding!"

"So it's the most important job there?" Noah pressed.

"Well…yeah, I guess." Caleb nodded.

"Cool!" Noah exclaimed with a smile, "Mommy, Caleb said I could be a ring burrier!"

"It's bearer." Spencer corrected him quickly, stepping up from her desk chair, "But, yes I heard!" She exclaimed with a smile.

"I'm going to go tell everyone else!" Noah exclaimed, before dashing out of the room.

"Are you sure Han is okay with that?" Spencer asked Caleb.

"What? I don't get a say anything?" He asked.

"Nope," She shook her head with a laugh.

"Okay, well she loves Noah, everyone loves Noah," He chuckled softly, "I'm sure, she'll think it's a great plan."

"For your sake, I hope she does." Spencer said, the corner of lips spreading into a smile.

"So, why aren't you out there with everyone? This seems like your thing." Caleb asked, pulling a red plaid tie to his chest.

"My thing?" Spencer retorted, looking at him strangely, and awaiting an explanation.

"You know, planning things," He shrugged, turning his attention towards her, hanging a tie over his chest, "What about this one?"

She tilted her head to examine the tie, "Don't you have anything better?"

"You really are subtle, are you?" He laughed, sarcasm drowning his voice, referring to her rejecting every tie, he showed her.

She rolled her eyes, as he returned to looked at the pile of ties on the bed—some of them contributed by Ezra.

"So, you still didn't answer my question." He said after a second, "Why are you in here, instead of out there."

Spencer stretched her locked arms forward, "I don't know." She replied dryly. The reason she didn't want to go engross herself with the girls, was because of Aria. Any interaction with her was either awkward or made her want to pull her hair out.

"Fine, you won't answer that question, but here's another: why have you been staring at your phone this whole time?" He pried.

"What?" Spencer broke out into a nervous smile, "I-I haven't." She stuttered.

"Really? Because, you only set it down a few minutes ago, and you've looked at it like ten times." Caleb fought.

"It wasn't ten!" Spencer objected, but he just arched his eyes at her, awaiting an explanation. She figured it was either this, or explaining why she didn't want to go help Hanna and the others, so she decided to go with this. "I—might want to invite someone…"

"Really?" his face lit up. Like Hanna, and the others, he too wanted to see Spencer find 'love'. Over the years, they have grown a bond, he cared about her, and wanted to see her happy.

"Yeah," She said indifferently.

"Well, don't you sound excited."

"It's just, it's stupid. I mean, he's probably like busy, or something." Spencer said sheepishly, crossing her arms, and ducking her head down.

"Call him, or else I'll get Hanna in here, and you know how persuasive she will be." Caleb threatened.

"Threatening me with your fiancé? Really?" She rolled her eyes playfully, with a grin.

"Just call him." He chuckled softly.

Spencer bit her lip, and turned her attention to the lonesome cell phone sitting on her desk. "Fine," She told Caleb, before heading towards her phone. She picked it up timidly, her nervous fingers, finding his name listed in her contacts. "Maybe I shouldn't-"

"Spencer," He warned.

She exhaled shakily, and finally pressed send. Her heart sped, as the slow rings passed by, and the more ringing there was, the more hopeful she got that he would just let it go to voicemail, and she could say she tried. Except her luck was never the greatest; he picked up.

"Spencer," He said immediately, "What's up? I'm kind of surprised you're calling,"

"Yeah," Spencer said uneasily, "Um," She bit her lip, "I know this isn't much notice, well it's actually really no notice at all, but I was wondering if you want to go with me to this thing tonight, it's my friend's engagement party. And it would be cool if you came…with me…" She went on, as the other line, became silent. "Like as my date…" She concluded the line still dead silent. "Larson?"

"Oh, sorry, did you say date?"

"Yes," Her voice trailed nervously.

"Well, if you put it that way, then yeah, I guess I could clear my schedule."

"I don't want it to be a burden."

"A burden?" He chuckled softly. "I wouldn't call it that at all, I would call it more like a blessing."

"Wow, I'm certainly flattered" She giggled, "Then fine okay; I'll pick you up at six."

"I'll be waiting, oh and Spencer, what color dress are you wearing? You know, so my tie can match."

"Navy," She replied.

"Then navy it is! I'll see you at six."

"Bye." She said, before hanging up the phone, a smile enlighten on her face.

"So, he said yes?" Caleb asked, cocking his head to the side. And to that, Spencer just nodded, with a toothless smile.

The evening went well, Spencer was successful at avoiding Aria, she had a splendid time at the engagement party, and Noah said he had fun at Jasons. All in all, it seemed like a good day. It was the start of something…new…something good. At least that's what Spencer thought until she got a text from an old friend stating : "Look's like your still a bitch, well you're going to pay –A"

soooooo...dun dun dun.

Okay, so let me explain why it's been so long since i updated. At this point, I had two directions I could take this story. And for a long time, I didn't know which way to go! But, yesterday I started writing the beginning of this chapter, and I realized how bored I was with it. And now I wont be. So, yeah! It will still make sense, I promise, I've been thinking about where I would go with this story from the beginning! Anyways, yeah. I'm sort of evil. Any theories? ;) + i was in such a writing block, and I still kind of am (this chapter sucks so much in my opinion)well, I know a lot will not be happy about the things that took place in this chapter (aka larson & A) but stick with me please! I've noticed a slight decrease of reviews and i don't know if its because people dropped my story or what but anyways thank you for the ones I got :) they are always appreciated!