Hi guys, so long time no see. UM THE FINALE? I died! Well, even though Toby was protecting her—my story will not change! Ok

Well…

You all think I'm satan

But SH it's getting there ;)

Bye

Chapter 23

Spencer watched her son from afar as he played with his train set. She had been spending far too much time apart from the little delight of her life. He was growing up so fast, so fast that Spencer found herself mourning for the days when he was just weeks old, his hands so tiny, and small. So innocent and naïve to the world. Not that he wasn't now. But, Spencer knew her son saw the differences in his life compared to his friends' lives. He would always live with that burden of "why didn't my father want me?" planted in the back of his head. Except that wasn't even true. His father did want him. Spencer was just keeping Noah away from his father—and for good reason, right? He was so dishonest, so deceitful. How was she just supposed to trust him with the most precious and valuable thing she had in the world? She couldn't! There was too much of a risk at stake! He was her baby, she made a pact; she wouldn't let anyone hurt him. It was a promise that she wasn't willing to break. Her parents never protected her, and she wasn't going to do that to Noah.

"Mommy!" said Noah as he ran up to her, with an enlightened smile on his face. "Let's play trains!" her son dragged her to where he was sitting a few seconds ago, his small hands tugging on her shirt.

"Okay" said Spencer, taking a seat on the floor. A smile danced across her face. They sat on the floor, playing with trains, for awhile. Noah had scolded her after she had mistakenly taken on the assumption that trains could talk. "They can't talk! They go like aHHHHhoOOOooh" he had told her, a sound resembling a dying whale coming out of his mouth, making her immensely laugh. Spencer had mimicked his peculiar noises, which ultimately led to them both laughing up a storm causing an angry and tired Hanna Marin to migrate out of her cave.

Noah had immediately asked her to play trains with them, completely unaware of how grumpy the woman was. Hanna had groggily replied in a lazy mumble, that Spencer believed was English, but she wasn't completely sure.

"Hanna isn't in the mood to play with trains" said Hanna a minute later, after Noah had delivered another request. "Hanna is in the mood for sleep, but Hanna can't sleep because Hanna apparently transported to a train station, where trains make whale noises, last night."

Spencer laughed at her friend, excusing herself from her son. "Hanna is just a tired old grump!" she told her son. "Just keep playing with your trains; I'm going to go talk to her."

"I'm actually so tired that I'm drinking your coffee. What. Is. Life." Hanna said as she poured a vast amount of half and half into her cup.

"It's not exactly my coffee when you pour a whole half gallon of creamery into it." Spencer protested, glancing at the coffee cup in her friend's hand. It was now a beige color.

"Yeah, and it's not enough!" Hanna replied before taking a sip of her coffee. "Why must you be up at 8 in morning on a Sunday? You know this is one of my only days off! You couldn't have taken him to like, I don't know, a park? Run him around a few times until he passes out?"

Spencer gave her friend an odd look.

"You know what I mean! Look, I just didn't get any sleep last night, like at all! I was up half the night with all this wedding crap, and ugh, I just never have the time. Especially with the holidays coming up! Business is booming, and as glad as that makes me, it's tiring me out. I go in at five in the morning and don't come home till seven at night! Ugh, I need to hire more people."

Spencer offered a supporting smile. "Do you have anything you need done? I mean you are my boss. I could get some applications made, and post them on the website for you."

"You don't have plans?"

Spencer shook her head. "I was just planning to hang out with Noah today" she smiled, glancing at her son.

"So, you're back to being your normal I-have-no-fun-all-I-do-is-work-and-school-and-the-only-person-I-hang-out-with-is-my-son self?"

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Noah's my life, Hanna. He's my baby. Think about your bakery. You love it and adore it, and most of your time is dedicated to it. He's my bakery." Spencer said, still gazing at her son.

"Yeah, but I have a way to blow off some steam when my bakery is too much. Caleb is really the only reason I don't already have wrinkles, and grey hairs."

"Oh?" Spencer said, staring at her, as she examined her head. Her eyebrows ceased. "I, yeah"

"What?" Hanna's face drove to absolute panic. "What is it?!" Hanna screeched, putting the coffee cup on the counter, so she could cup her own face.

"It's just—no."

"Spencer!"

"Is that a grey hair?"

"What!" Hanna screeched, running her nervous hands furiously through her hair.

Spencer couldn't contain her laughter as she watched her friend freak out over absolute nothing, but lies of course.

Hanna noticed her a second later, narrowing her eyes on her friend. She glanced at Noah before staring back at Spencer and mouthing a fuck you.

"Speaking of." A smirk enwrapped on the blonde's face. "Has anybody been…well you know? Fertilizing your crops?"

Spencer smiled. "Um, no."

"Then why are you smiling? Jesus Christ, Spence. It's like medicine for stress, like doctors literary recommend it. I recommend it."

"You're a doctor now?"

Hanna waved her off. "I read an article about it, if you must know. It's true. OK?"

Spencer rolled her eyes. Spencer has heard about this too—sex being healthy for you, but Hanna just made it sound ridiculous.

"What ever happened to that guy? The one you brought to my thing? Larry?"

"Larson."

"Yeah, he was hot. I think he could do you good."

"Well, we broke up, so." Spencer pursed her lips, hiding the frown forming on her lips. She truly missed him. His cockiness always made him laugh. He was such a dork.

"Why?" Hanna said, more angrily than sympathetically.

She shrugged. "Different things."

"Is this about Toby?" Hanna asked, her voice a tad softer than before.

Spencer didn't say a word.

"Spencer," she sighed.

"It's not about him, I just. I just don't want a relationship. I have Noah. Being with Larson, was…nice. But, I missed Noah too much. I want all the time I have left with him while he still clings to my leg, soon he'll be getting older—going to parties, refusing to go anywhere with me. I don't want to miss anything in Noah's life for a guy who probably won't even matter to me in a few months."

"You deserve a life."

"and I have one—Noah."

Hanna backed out of the fight, mumbling a fine to her last phrase, and dismissed herself to go get ready for the day.

Spencer had to admit that she wasn't being completely honest when she told Hanna it wasn't about Toby. What she told Hanna was true, she might have, sort of, left out a part—the part about Toby.

She was so conflicted on whether or not to trust him. She saw no reason not to, but then she remembered what he did, and things change.

He's been completely honest with her ever since he came back. Absolutely genuine. Even about the things that could anger her. Like how he wanted her to go to the police. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He wanted to protect her—it reminded her of how things used to be between them. Both willing to do anything to protect one another, so she thought.

He said he fought for her, tried to get out, tried to help by finding answers once he realized that there was no getting out of the quick sand that Mona had pushed his helpless body into.

She realized he had his share of being the victim—Mona didn't just torture the girls, she tortured him too.

Except he was the villain too. He did so many awful things. Caleb's mother almost died because of him. He lied to her. He told Mona things that should have been secrets kept. He sabotaged and plotted and went against her in the worst way he could.

But then she remembers he was also the hero. He saved her life. Without him, she would be dead right now. She wouldn't have seen the broad lights of day ever again; her last hymn would be the tune of the bells clanking together as she fell to her death; the last vision would be Ian—looking down at her with a half-guilty-half-relieved smile that she was no longer a problem. It sent shivers down her back.

But could the three cancel each other out? Could they discard the bad, with the good? Spencer didn't know. Struggling to find a balance in between the two, she gave up, and decided to play with Noah once again, at least it would put her mind at ease…maybe.

…

Later that day, after Spencer made to Hanna's wishes and set up some applications on the bakery's website, and once Hanna left for her meeting with the florist, Spencer took the liberty to put good use to the good weather, and take Noah to the park.

The mid October weather was usually good or bad. There was no in between; no grey space. It was either chilly, and windy with a decreasingly low temperature, or a day like today, where the sun held high in the sky, and there was not a cloud in sight; the perfect day to take a stroll in the park.

Spencer followed her son around for two hours straight—running up and down the slide, chasing around the tires, gliding through the monkey bars, and following him through the obstacles he would create. She was exhausted. No, that was an understatement. She felt like she needed to lie down for the next few centuries.

"Noah," she said exasperated, heaving through her words. "Aren't you a little tired? Jeez, I swear you must have gotten into my coffee or something."

He wasn't really listening, he was more or less tugging on her shirt, pulling her towards the swings. Spencer stopped in her pace, crouching down to his level.

"How about mommy takes you home, and we can eat some lunch. I'll even pick you a cookie when I get my coffee."

The second cookie left her mouth, the boy's eyes brightened, and a enthusiastic smile danced right onto his face. She barely gave him sweets. Usually, on the rare occasions where he was blessed with such a treat, it was when Hanna was sneaking them to him. Which, annoyed Spencer entirely. But, Hanna was just being Hanna. "Chocolate chip!?"

"Yes, yes of course. As if it would be anything else." She laughed.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get em cookies!" he tugged her towards where the pathway of the park laid. She shook her head with laughter, as she followed her head to the path out of the park.

The park was never just for kids. It was for anyone. It was a community park. A big park. It's where the local baseball teams practiced, where the middle schoolers went to hang out in their free time, where people went on bike rides and jogged. It wasn't just for kids, it was for everyone.

So, when she saw Toby Cavanaugh jogging there way, clad in a purple shirt with sweat stains and basketball shorts, her heart nearly jumped out of her ribcage—not because she was surprised, or anything, but just at how hot he looked.

As he came closer, he began to slow down, a hesitant smile fresh on his lips as he did so. She stood there for a second, put under a certain spell that only Toby could cast. She snapped out of it quickly, reminding her son who the man was. "Hey, Noah, look its Toby!"

The little eyes lit up the second Toby left her mouth. "hi!" the little boy exclaimed. "I named my dog after you, you should see it! Mommy do you still have it? Show it to him!"

Toby looked confused, for a second, but smiled nevertheless.

"He drew a picture of a dog, and named him after you." Spencer filled him head, causing him to nod in understanding.

"Well, I'm certainly honored!" Toby said.

"mommy do you have the picture?" The boy asked his mother.

"No, I don't. It's at home."

The little boy pouted. "Can Toby come home so he can see it?" the little boy asked his mother, causing both of the adults to become flabbergasted.

"Um, I'm sure that Toby is kind of…busy right now" she said doing a once over of him.

"Yeah," he agreed, but his tone spoke otherwise. He sounded disappointed. "I don't think I could, right now. I'm pretty sweaty and gross" he chuckled.

"It doesn't matter! I don't care! My mommy might, she always makes me take a bath, but it's all good with me!" the little boy told the man, rambling on so fast, that Toby barely caught what he was saying.

Toby couldn't resist laughing along with Spencer, who stood idly beside the two. "Alright, that's enough. Um," she looked up at Toby. "Do you think you would want to come over a little later, maybe an hour, for some lunch?"

Toby's facial expression went soft. His smile drifted, and his blue eyes glazed over with hope and awe. He looked so dumb struck and unattainable to his words, that Spencer worried of his response. "yeah, yeah, that would be nice." He nodded his head, still dumbstruck.

Spencer grinned at his response.

As did Noah. "Now I can show you all my toys! Will you play Uno with me?" Noah asked, excitedly.

"Yeah! Yeah! Sure, definitely!" Toby replied, a genuine grinned plastered on his face.

"I'm going to beat you! I'm reaaaaaaaaaaallly good!" the little boy warned.

"I'm not too shabby myself." He counteracted.

"I can beat anyone!" the little boy boasted.

"calm down, kid." She told her son, with a little chuckle. "He's a tad competitive." Spencer told Toby.

"I wonder where he gets that." Toby teased.

Spencer rolled her eyes, but a smile was sketched across her vibrant face. "I wonder" she mused.

"Well, anyways." She cleared her throat, taking her son's hand once more. "We'll see you in about an hour?" questioned Spencer, a specific coyness about her. He nodded in return, the smile struck on his face failing to falter.

With that, they parted way. Spencer visited the coffee shop—got Noah his cookie, promising to give it to him once they eat lunch. He seemed pretty upset over this. Whining on about how "you promised!" and "why can't I just eat it now?" until they got home. He settled down once he was back home, and Spencer told him that he should make a picture for Toby too.

Once they returned home she began to prepare lunch while Noah slaved away over his new masterpiece. She was making turkey and bologna sandwiches, which so happened to be not only Noah's, but Toby's favorite too. They were a lot of like on some aspects— more than she'd like to admit, of course.

Spencer had three placemats out, three pairs of silverware, three cups filled with fresh lemonade, three sandwiches made, precisely three because of the simple reason of how she was expecting three, not four. She didn't imagine— wish, for Hanna to be part of the lunch. Hanna didn't like Toby, and Hanna wasn't afraid to voice her opinion — Spencer knew Hanna had her reasons — just, obviously — but she hoped she would give him a second chance, although hope never went along with her very well.

Hanna had emerged from the door, already shouting and complaining how badly she needed a spa day, the second her un-pedicured foot stepped through the doorway. She went on for a few minutes saying things like "You tell this lady you want violets, and what does she bring me? Carnations ! Like no, that is is not what I asked for dahlias! How do you even get those confused?" and so on about how dumb you have to be to get those confused, but Spencer could hardly listen, her mind was too focused on the phrase: "HannaishereHannaishereHannai shere" to even catch another word of what her friend was saying.

"Why are you here?" Spencer urgently asked in the midst of Hanna's rage.

"Because I live here?" She replied, narrowing her blue eyes on her friend. Her eyes traveled from Spencer, to the three sandwiches made on the counter. "Oh you made sandwiches? God, I love you, Spence. I should marry you! " Hanna said, reaching over to grab a sandwich.

Right as her tongue's engine was about to start up, to make up some lame excuse why Hanna can't eat the sandwich, there was a knock at the door.

Hanna sighed, peeling her hands away from the sandwich to cup a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Pour me a glass of lemonade, babe, I'm getting the door." She told Spencer, causing her to roll her eyes dramatically.

She was right on Hanna's heels, racing her to the door. Ultimately, Hanna won. She opened the door, and there he was, standing there with a hesitant glint in his eyes.

"Toby" Hanna hissed after the initial shock, he didn't say anything. Hanna did a 180 degree turn, now facing Spencer. "Spencer!" She growled.

Spencer winced. This wasn't how she was picturing her afternoon.

As if God himself took the liberty to discard of this awfully awkward moment, in came the four year old known as Noah, exclaiming the word "Toby!" repeatedly.

Once he was in close range; close enough to be at the man's grip, he grabbed his hand, pulling at him to come inside. " Toby come on! You have to see my room! It's so cool! It has a bunch of outer space stuff, like it's a lot like outer space! It has these stars that light up when you turn off the light, and these cool rocket ships on the wall! You have to see! Mommy can he come see?"

Spencer didn't even bother to look at Hanna, she rather not see the disdaining expression most likely sketched out on her face. "Yeah, sure." She said uneasily, keeping her eyes locked on her son, as he dragged Toby down the hall and into his room.

"Spencer, what the hell?" Hanna hissed, in what sounded to be attempted whisper-Hanna was never a good whisperer.

She closed her eyes, trying to void of the negativity her friend was offering to her.

It wasn't working out very well.

"Why is here?" She continued, her voice becoming more hateful by the letter.

"He's having lunch with us." Spencer said as calmly as she could muster. Spencer loved Hanna, she did, but she absolutely hated the way she had to meddle so much into her life, especially when it involved a certain person with the first name Toby, and the last name Cavanaugh.

"Why?"

"Because...he is?"

Spencer didn't know what to tell Hanna, truthfully she was confused as to her own intentions of inviting Toby over.

"Spencer," Hanna sighed, shaking her head as she rapidly ran her hands through her hair — a thing she did when she was stressed, or nervous. "You can't — this isn't a good decision. I don't trust him."

"You've spent, at the most, three minutes with him! Just give him another chance Han, I'm not asking you to serve him your life on a platter, I'm just asking you to have lunch with him!"

Hanna sighed, casting her one last i'm-worried-about-you look before hoisting up a fake smile and saying "fine, one lunch, but you better get your ass back in that kitchen and make your hungry Han a sandwich."

So she did.

After Spencer finished making Hanna her sandwich, set the table, and told Noah to wash up for lunch, the four sat at the table, succumbed by plague of awkward silence.

That is until Noah spoke up, questioning at why no one was saying anything.

Little kids; they don't care. They don't know what awkward tension is. They are straight up, and blunt. Maybe, that is why they are so genuine; they are always honest.

Hanna tried to dismiss the question off by saying "everyone is too busy chewing these yummy sandwiches to talk, silly" which was accompanied by a nice little pat on Noah's head.

After Hanna had affectionately, and successfully, messed up the little boy's hair, her whole facade dropped to a certain degree coldness. Her eyes were now mad with vengeance, and her lips were curled up into a vicious smirk.

Spencer slumped down her chair, as she saw Hanna turn her head towards Toby. She did not want her ears to be a witness to whatever was going to pour out of Hanna's mouth.

"Isn't this a good sandwich Toby? I bet you've never had a sandwich this good!"

Spencer could see the uncomfortableness in Toby's face, the timidness of his persona projecting off every feature he had.

He gulped. "Um, yeah it's really good." He said, but he wasn't looking at Hanna. He was looking at Spencer, but only for a half second at the most.

"Have you had a lot of sandwiches Toby? Do you eat them a lot? I know how guys like you like your sandwiches-in big supply, and loaded." Hanna quipped up, keeping her eyes focused on him.

"I don't eat them that often, but I mean they are good." He said in a mumble, this time peeking up at Hanna.

She sneered. "They are pretty great. But, not the cheep ones-no, you have to have the ones that are homemade, the ones made with love. Spencer sure knows how to make a sandwich, doesn't she?"

"...yeah" Toby mumbled after a pause, a certain glint of regret parked in his eyes.

This time his eyes were on Spencer, and that's where they stayed.

"I can probably guarantee you that you won't find another sandwich like this. It's the best one you'll ever have."

Toby's eyes slowly fell off of Spencer, and landed on his sandwich. He breathed out another yeah, right as Noah exclaimed "wow! You guys really like your sandwiches!"

Spencer didn't reply, she kept her eyes on Toby, partially confused, and partially saddened by the new vibe that had taken over him.

She didn't quite grasp what the sandwiches were a metaphor for.

Hanna spoke up, knocking Spencer out of her trance. "You know kid, don't mock me about my sandwiches or I might just have to take yours!" the woman teased, poking the little boy gently in the chest, resulting in a giggle escaping the boy's mouth.

"No! It's mine!" He shook his head, picking up the sandwich to take a bite.

Spencer smiled at the sight, she looked back at Toby, he was smiling too, but there was a certain sadness in his eyes that Spencer couldn't put her finger on.

Lunch continued the second half being a little better than the first. Noah went on to talk about how they were made goo out of baking pounder and water the other day, and how they should make it right now, which Spencer very much declined to telling him how much of a mess that would be, but maybe they could do it another time. Some way or another, Hanna got back on to the topic of her "god awful florist" and they all listened to her rage for a good ten minutes until Spencer's phone started to go off.

She mumbled a sorry as she checked for the caller I.D.

Larson.

"You can get that Spence, I'm just about done here." She announced, dropping the napkin that was just cleaning up the crumbs around her mouth, down.

"As much as I was in need of your permission, it's just Larson." She sighed. "I can call him back later."

"Ooh, take the call!" Hanna yelled, a smile expanding across her face.

Spencer was hesitant, she glanced over at Toby.

"You should take it" he suggested, his voice low, and meek.

She inhaled deeply, taking the call, and greeting the man on the other like with a nonchalant hello.

She excused herself from the table before running off to her room to be in private.

"OK what is it?" She asked, closing her door.

"I've been thinking a lot about the other day..." He said, guilt woven in his voice.

She didn't interrupt. He continued.

"I feel like a dick, really. I don't want to force you into anything. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, Larson. I am. I didn't mean to lead you on to think that I wanted a relationship...I just, I really am sorry."

"Don't be" he chuckled softly "it was fun hanging out with you."

"We still can...hangout."

She heard the familiar chuckling in her ear again.

"I don't think that can happen" he replied. "At least not yet, you know? It's just too hard...it still sort of hurts."

A beat passed.

"I hope you find someone, someone who will be ready for all the love you bring them. You're a great guy, you deserve to be with someone who acknowledges that" Spencer quietly told him.

"And you deserve happiness. Don't let anyone take that away from you, okay? Do what you want, not what others are forcing you into."

If only Spencer knew what she wanted.

She has never been someone who would ask the world to make her decisions. She would always know what he wanted, and go after it with all she's got, but this was different. Everything with Toby was different. He made her different. Around him, she was some weakling who didn't know the difference between left and right-good and bad. He made her judgment blurry-well more blurry than it already was, let's be honest, Spencer Hastings never had the best judgement-he made every decision hundred times more difficult. The line between right and wrong was smeared when he was around.

"Spencer?" he said after a long pause.

"Sorry," she distractedly mumbled.

"Look, I got to go. Tiff, Sean, and I are going to our parents' for Sunday dinner-I know it's only 1, they eat early" he lightly said, a hint of laughter in his voice. "It was nice talking to you, I hope one day we can be friends."

"Me too." Spencer smiled, and in all honesty, she meant it.

"Goodbye Spencer."

"Goodbye Larson."

...

Right after Spencer left, Hanna was quick on her feet, picking up the plates on the table, and telling Noah, right after she handed him the promised cookie; "hurry kid, get out of here before your mom comes back and takes half of that cookie!" With that, Noah ran off, faster than the flash, to his room, leaving Hanna and Toby alone.

After Noah was gone, and the only other person left in the room was Hanna, Toby felt another awkward plague of silence come on.

Looking over to Hanna who was packing up the dishes, he decided he would help her. He picked up the cups on the table, bringing them to her.

"Thanks." She murmured without giving him a glance.

After Hanna was done loading the dishwasher, she looked up at him, a slightly flustered conflict in her eyes.

"What?" Toby asked.

"Why did you tell Spencer to take the call? You and I both know that we weren't talking about sandwiches, and besides I saw the way you looked at her."

"I want her to be happy" Toby told her.

She stood there staring at him, as if determining whether or not there was an alternative motive to his doings.

"You better not hurt them. I swear to God, I will destroy you, if you do." Hanna finally said, before departing down the hall.

And he sure as hell wasn't planning on it.

Hi again, so yeah, nothing mUCH happened…but, hmm stay tuned…for next chapter? ;)

I'm close to wrapping it up though…maybe three or four more chapters! + an epilogue! So YEAH. Get ready.