Living Puppet
by Lord Dragon Claw
Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto is the purveyor of "Naruto".
Preliminary AN: See the next chapter's AN for the reason why this has been abandoned.
Chapter One: Geppetto
The Hokage had a migraine. The seven-year-old blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy he was supposed to be protecting had disappeared shortly after the Uchiha massacre.
First, Itachi killed everyone in his clan and disappeared, leaving his younger brother, Sasuke, alive. Then a delegation from Suna arrived to warn him that a puppet master named Sasori of the Red Sand had turned nukenin (rogue ninja) and was at large. Next, Uzumaki Naruto disappeared. That had been the most stressful week of Sarutobi's life. Finally a week later, another delegation from Suna arrived to inquire as to why their first delegation never returned.
And then there were the celebrations in the streets by the civilian citizens of Konoha. Filthy idiots. Did they not see that by hating the demon container that they might be giving the boy a reason to kill them all? It was a moot point now, as the Sandaime correctly guessed that Naruto had been kidnapped by Sasori.
He sent several ANBU teams to scout and try and find Naruto. They all came back empty-handed after a month of no word.
Sasori was fairly happy. He never had a Jinchuuriki among his burgeoning puppet collection. He figured he might as well convert the small boy's corpse into a hitokugutsu (human puppet) along with the four-person delegation from Suna. Amazingly, he had found the five of them together. Apparently, the delegation from Suna had been assigned to capture the Jinchuuriki for use in Suna, but then Sasori caught them along their way. He also managed to recognize a corpse that they were carrying with them as an Uchiha corpse. Evidently, they had thought it a good idea to get their hands on the Sharingan, the kekkei genkai (bloodline limit) of the Uchiha Clan. Sasori also thought it to be a good idea.
One of the things that angered Sasori was the fact that one of the Sunanins decided to try and get away. The girl was decidedly fast, and it took several hours to catch up. By that time, she had managed to decapitate the boy to ensure that no one else would be able to use him. That pissed Sasori off, but he would use the boy's corpse for a human puppet.
Six wonderful new puppets. Two of which could be gloriously powerful. Sasori went into the process of turning them all into puppets, humming a tune about art and life everlasting.
First order of business was to remove the section of skin on the boy's body that contained the seal. It was incredibly complex and he didn't want it damaged. He would study it further after he re-attached it to the boy's body. Well, maybe.
Next order of business was to remove all the useless organs, such as the lungs, kidneys, livers, spleens, intestines, stomachs, and other such things. The hearts, on the other hand, needed to be preserved.
Next was the removal of the brains. Unfortunately, it took Sasori several tries to figure out which skullcap belonged to which body. Though there was only one doujutsu (eye-based bloodline) amongst his new haul, he decided to preserve ALL of the eyeballs. Luckily he had placed the hearts into clearly-labeled bins, so he put the eyeballs into their corresponding bins as well. He also had the foresight to put each brain into a correspondingly labeled jar.
Then he removed the skins, very carefully. He set those aside to be preserved as well.
Almost all of the muscles were removed. Some of the bones were as well, but most of the skeletal structure remained as did everything else needed to allow the bodies to continue to use chakra. The nerves and blood vessels had to go.
All things that he needed preserved were. Everything else was thrown out.
After a few days of allowing the specimens to cure in the chemicals, Sasori went back to work.
The boy would receive his skin back as well as the seal. The woman who had the red hair would not and her eyes would be used for another puppet. The woman with blonde hair would get to keep her skin and eyes. One of the males would keep just his eyes and the other his skin. The Uchiha, a male, would keep both his eyes and his skin. Also, the blonde boy would have his eyes.
But that was for later. He had devices to install and seals to inscribe on the bare bones of his subjects. Decisions, decisions. Senbon repeater or kunai launcher? Assassin's needles or acid sprayers? Flamethrowers or chainsaws? Hidden blades or anthropomorphic features?
Having not yet finished his puppets by the time he arrived at the Akatsuki base, he decided to set up a workshop. One other new member had also joined. His name was Itachi.
"I see," commented Sasori. "Another newbie. What's your specialty?"
"Sharingan," replied the Uchiha, activating his bloodline. "I also have the Mangekyou Sharingan."
"Interesting. How are you with internal organs?"
"I had just passed the ANBU test before I became nukenin."
"Ah. Good. I am a puppeteer, and I make puppets out of corpses. One of which I believe you killed yourself, did you not?"
"An Uchiha?"
"Yeah. With the Sharingan active at the time."
"There were seven of those who had time to activate their eyes before I killed them."
"I thought so. Come. I still have much work to do. We should continue work quickly..." Sasori paused. "I'm not preventing you from doing something else?"
"No."
"Is there something else you'd rather be doing?"
"No."
"Are you even the least bit offended that I'm turning a family member of yours into a puppet?"
"Not really. I could care less."
"Ah. So, are you coming?"
"... I don't see why not."
"Oh, one more thing: how are you at seals?"
"Not too good, I'm afraid."
"Oh. No problem. Just a useful skill is all."
"You didn't tell me you had him for a puppet."
"Who? The Jinchuuriki?"
"Is that what he was? I knew the village hated him, but no one really told me why. I guess that's why the Kyuubi disappeared the day he was born. It had simply never occurred to me."
Itachi proved to be a very clever craftsman with loads of natural talent in the area. He also had some design schemes that Sasori would have never thought of on his own. After several weeks' worth of work, all six puppets were finally ready. The puppeteer sealed the five adult puppets into a sealing scroll for later use.
He decided he wanted to parade his art around to the other members. Which proved to be a bad idea as the Leader was pissed...
"SASORI! We needed him for our plans! It will take another twenty years before the Kyuubi can crawl his way back out of Hell!" The Leader had half a mind to send Sasori into Hell to drag the demon out of it, and then laugh as he failed and was obliterated.
"Sorry, my Lord. I did not know. Your intentions hadn't been explained to me by the time I had joined, otherwise I would have put forth my entire collection to ensure the boy was still alive."
The Leader massaged his forehead as he calmed down. "No matter. We may be able to track down that demon after he escapes by using that seal on the puppet's stomach."
"Pain-sama, does that mean you're not going to kill him?" hissed another member.
"No, Orochimaru. Sasori is still useful to me." Pain was not really happy, but the tools of his plans still needed to be useful. Sasori was not useful if he wasn't alive.
"Thank you, my Lord."
"Enough of that. Go show your toy to everyone else. Or whatever. I don't care."
Sasori did just that and Itachi went along (he felt the need to show off as well).
Kisame found it amusing. Hidan was nonplussed. Kakuzu didn't care. Konan thought it was cute. Zetsu thought it was a waste of good food (both his halves agreed on this).
Orochimaru thought that it might be fun to pick on the new guy.
"Scrawny little toy... Do you have to turn a key in his back to make him move?"
Sasori frowned while Orochimaru laughed. Suddenly, the snake's laughter was silenced.
Orochimaru was on the other side of the room, imbedded into the wall. His eyes were spirals as his equilibrium had been seriously messed-up.
Sasori had a surprised look on his face. Itachi had raised an eyebrow.
"Sasori?" asked Itachi. "Why did you do that?"
"I didn't."
The two newbies looked at each other. They then took a look at the puppet.
Its arms were folded and it had a smirk on its supposedly lifeless face. It then smiled, revealing his razor-sharp teeth (taken from a leopard).
"Are you self-aware?" asked Sasori.
"Whut's dat mean?" responded the puppet.
"It means you can think and act on your own," replied Itachi.
"Yeah. I s'pose so."
"What did you do to Orochimaru?" asked Itachi.
"Snake-breff? I punshed him in da face."
"How long have you been self-aware?" asked Sasori.
"Um... startin' bout 'n hour after da woman killed meh. I couldn't move 'til a few minits ago."
"Er... I'm sorry?" replied Sasori, almost sounding nervous.
"Naw. No probs. I realleh didn't like Konoha anyway. 'Sides, whut's a Jinchuuriki?"
"A demon's container," responded Itachi.
"So dem villagers tawt I was da fox, eh? Well, I don't think 'e's there anymo'."
"I kind of wish you wouldn't talk in such a funny manner..." muttered Sasori.
"Funneh?"
Naruto tested his jaw. He then grabbed it with both hands and popped it into place.
"How does this sound?"
"Much better."
"Good. Good. I think we should tell that Pain guy that I am able to move on my own now."
Naruto walked over to Orochimaru and picked up his limp form. Suddenly, the snake ninja began squirming.
"I'm awake! I can move on my own! How dare you punch me so hard!" he yelled at Sasori.
"Punch you? That was a love tap!" responded the blonde puppet. Orochimaru was silent. Then he began squirming in earnest.
"Put me down you freak!" screamed Orochimaru.
WHACK! CRACK!
Orochimaru was out cold, and had a broken jaw.
"He was getting annoying."
Sasori and Itachi agreed.
"Interesting," commented Pain. "Seems you are a tsukumogami as well as a hitokugutsu. Very interesting. And you don't feel any hatred towards Sasori at all?"
"Naw. He's something like a father to me. Something I never had before. And he brought me back to life as well as improving me in the only way he knew how."
"Ah. They must have been horrible to you in Konoha then."
"You have no idea."
Naruto thought about how all the villagers despised him. How they threw rotting food at him and encouraged their kids to do the same. How they ignored him unless he pulled a prank. How he was basically unloved and unwanted. Oh yes, he hated Konoha. In fact, before he was captured by the delegation from Suna, he would have rather died than stay there. The kami had a bad sense of humor because they fulfilled his wish... not that he wasn't grateful.
"Well, it seems we have yet another new member in Akatsuki..." He stood up, applausing the new addition. Pain was already beginning to alter his plans when the blonde puppet surprised him.
"Hold up. If you think I'm going to be your tool, I'm afraid you're sadly mistaken."
"Wait, what?" Pain was astonished. He hardly ever didn't get what he wanted. Also, Orochimaru (who had recovered) was insulted by the stupid puppet-boy's insubordination.
"To put it simply: I will obey Sasori-san's orders, but not yours. You can order Sasori-san to give me orders, but I will not obey your orders directly. I am a member of Akatsuki as long as Sasori-san is still alive, but once he's dead, you have no power over me."
Pain was taken aback by how wordy Naruto's response was. But then again, he had heard that tsukumogami were very good bargainers and tended to be long-winded. Perhaps his vocabulary had improved simply because he had died and come back... Pain did not know.
"Shall I kill him, Pain-sama?" asked Orochimaru, a bit too eagerly.
"I'm not sure you can, Orochimaru," responded Pain. The Leader then sighed. "Alright, puppet. I agree to your terms. You will get the cloak, but you will not get the ring."
"Fair enough," responded Naruto, grinning devilishly.
"So you joined?" asked Itachi.
"Yeah, but I will obey orders that Sasori-san will give me. Requests by some of the other members I might do, but Sasori-san's orders will be the only ones I will follow."
"And he just accepted your terms?" inquired Sasori.
"After some hesitation, yes."
"Well, now to puzzle out why you became a tsukumogami. You haven't been used for a century yet, so I don't see how you could have become one."
"What is a tsukumogami?"
Sasori sighed. He had forgotten that the boy had been barely seven years old before he was converted into a hitokugutsu.
"It is an artifact spirit. Usually, any tool or weapon that has been in use for a century will gain the ability to speak, think, and move on its own."
"I've been reading up on my demonology..." chimed in Itachi while holding an ancient-looking scroll. The other two looked at him. "Seems that having been a Jinchuuriki, your body has gained a regenerative property. Though all your organs had been removed, you had gained the ability to come back from the dead. You should still have massive chakra reserves. And due to the nature of your seal... it seems that you can still draw on the chakra of the Kyuubi, even though he has been separated from you."
"That's good to know," said Sasori and Naruto at the same time.
"We probably should make sure that you are capable of doing various ninja things, such as silent killing and the like."
"I agree. As my masterpiece, you should be capable of keeping yourself undamaged or at least able to minimize the damage to yourself. I will also teach you puppetry, so that my works of art can be passed onto you should I ever die."
"Sounds good. Think that some of the other members might help me out?"
"Probably just Kisame and Konan..." mused the Uchiha. "Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu wouldn't help out. Orochimaru... I get a bad vibe from him. I doubt he can be trusted."
"Alright. Well, let's get to the training! You two aren't getting any younger, you know?"
The three of them went into training, teaching Naruto how to use his body and its various weapons as well as the Academy Three jutsu. Naruto had massive trouble with the bunshin (clone), but he was able to pick up on the kawarimi (replacement) and henge (transformation) quite well.
Kisame taught Naruto the Kirigakure no jutsu (Hidden Mist no jutsu) and Konan helped him with his chakra control.
Within four years, Naruto the living puppet was a force to be reckoned with. But during that time, Orochimaru betrayed Akatsuki and attacked Itachi, trying to take his body for his own. Itachi conquered Orochimaru and cut off his hand. The snake escaped, and took his hand with him. To replace the snake, Itachi, Sasori, and Naruto recruited Deidara, a nukenin from Iwa.
Then, Pain had an idea. He needed additional information on Konoha, so he decided to send Naruto back. He ordered Sasori to order Naruto to return to Konoha and gather intelligence on the various ninja as he suspected that their spy, Yakushi Kabuto, may have been compromised. Naruto agreed, but on one condition...
"Tell me again, why we're going back to my home country?" whined Kisame, the shark-like man obviously worried about getting caught.
"Naruto needs to appear taller and have longer arms," responded Itachi. "You are most experienced when fighting in the mist, so you will be helping us track down Naruto's replacement parts. Sasori came along to ensure that Naruto builds his new limbs correctly, and Naruto came because it involves him."
"Yes. I know that. Why does it have to be a Kirinin? Why not some Iwanin or Sunanin?"
"Because," began the blonde puppet boy. "It will improve my control over the various water-based jutsu you have been teaching me. Plus, I'll have a second set of arms."
"Kisame," began Sasori. "We can use this as a way to get back at the Mizukage, just to spite him."
"SOLD!" roared the shark man.
Once they arrived in the Water Country, they spent several hours in silence with no sign of any quarry. Then, there was a sign. All four members of the group sensed a four-man team concealed about a kilometer away.
Kisame made signs that told the rest of the group that their victims were familiar to him, and one of them was a jounin who had been in Kisame's graduating class. The other three got ready to fight as Kisame covered the entire area for a several kilometer radius with mist...
"So Taki, how does it feel to finally be a chuunin?"
"It feels great, Surimi-sensei!"
"Good!"
Suddenly, the area was shrouded in a mist much thicker than normal.
"Sensei, what's going on!"
"Quiet Sabiki-kun!"
"Are we under attack?" whispered the final member, a chuunin with a scarred face.
"You certainly are!" said a young man's voice in a cheerful manner. His voice seemed to come from everywhere.
Suddenly, the scarred chuunin fell over, dead. He had a kunai in his throat.
"KYO!" screamed Taki. Within a fraction of a second, a loud thud of metal on bone could be heard. In Taki's place was a mess of what used to be a human.
"Sabiki?" whispered Surimi. The jounin turned around to find that his final student was missing his head. He then felt a hand on his back and a pinprick of pain right behind his heart. He turned to see a blonde child, smiling at him.
And then there was darkness.
"All in all, not a bad haul," commented Naruto. "Three useful corpses and a mangled mass of organs and bones."
"Hey! I said I was sorry! I got a little carried away is all..."
"Oh, only a little," said Sasori, the sarcasm being wielded like Kisame's sword. "Did Leader-sama ask you to inhibit us in any way or was that a friend of yours you didn't want made into a puppet?"
"Sasori-san, just drop it," quipped Naruto. "There are plenty of other fish in the ocean."
"So what are you going to do with these?" asked Itachi.
"The chuunin and genin I will combine into a single puppet, and the jounin I will use to replace my legs and give myself an extra pair of arms."
"Wait, what?"
"Oh come now, Sasori-san. You know that my artistic style is different than yours. I like to make freaks of nature some of the time."
"Are you going to use the jounin's feet?" asked Kisame, curious as to why Naruto was removing the feet from the corpse.
"No, I was thinking of making talons for my feet. Something like a bird-of-prey's talons, you know?"
"Why?" asked Itachi.
"That way I can grip stuff with my feet."
"I'm surprised that I haven't thought of that," commented Sasori.
"A difference in our creative processes, I'm sure."
"Can we get moving soon?" asked Kisame. "I sense an investigation is on their way."
"Certainly," replied Naruto, putting the jounin's head on a pike. "Care to leave a message, Kisame?"
"Yeah," replied the shark man.
Naruto handed him a plank of wood and, using a kunai, Kisame quickly etched a message into it. The blonde puppet then nailed the sign onto the pike. All the body parts were then sealed into a sealing scroll (even the girl's pile of flesh and bone). Within seconds, the four members of Akatsuki were gone without a trace.
Eight Mist ANBU arrived ten minutes later, and they found the head with the sign. The sign read:
To His High Bastard, the Mizukage,
Hello. Just thought I'd drop in and see how my home was doing. And I must say: I am not impressed. This jounin's team barely lasted thirty seconds, and me and my buddies don't have a single scratch. Maybe Surimi-san was getting soft, or the standards around here are becoming lax. Whatever. See you around. Maybe.
With Love,
Hoshigaki Kisame
PS: I hope one of the other Seven Swordsmen sends you to Hell.
When they showed the message to the Mizukage, he broke out into a cold sweat.
After a few weeks, a lone figure approached the southern Konoha gate. This figure was robed in brown, and had a hood that concealed its face. (AN: think of it as looking something like a Garo from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, except that it had sleeves and pant legs.)
The figure was stopped at the gate by an ANBU.
"State your purpose, traveler."
"I have come to see the Hokage. I bear good news."
"Follow me then."
The ANBU led the robed figure into the village and three more ANBU fell into step behind them. Various villagers were curious as to the identity of the traveler.
"Do you see that person?"
"Wonder what he looks like."
"Look, Mommy! He's got chicken feet!"
"Hush!"
"I wonder if he's a ninja."
"Probably, else the ANBU wouldn't be escorting him."
The robed figure chuckled. One of the ANBU behind it began walking beside it.
"What's so funny?"
"The way the civilians gossip... you'd think they've never seen a Jinchuuriki seeking shelter in their village before."
"Is that what you are?"
"Yes. I seek shelter here. Shelter from a criminal organization. I bear good news as a gift of goodwill towards the Hokage. But I will say no more - you never know what kinds of prying ears might be listening in."
Nearby, Sai silently cursed himself with his carelessness.
"Alright. I have agreed to meet with you, but I have a very tight schedule. Make this quick, Jinchuuriki."
Suddenly, the hood pulled itself off of the figure's head.
"How you doin', old man?"
The ANBU and the Hokage gasped.
"Naruto! Is it really you?"
"Of course. Did you really think I'd die out there?"
"No, but I thought you had been kidnapped by Sasori of the Red Sand."
"I was."
"How did you ever escape!"
"Well, Sasori underestimated me. He let his guard down. I killed him in his sleep. He left some very extensive notes on puppet creation around though. I've been studying those for the past four years. I've also been doing some traveling. I've gotten into a few fights, hence my legs."
"Glad to know that you're all right. I suppose that you want to be inducted into the village again..." then the Hokage's eyes went wide. "You know about--!"
"Yes. The Kyuubi. I know about it. I've added more seals to keep the demon in check. I also know that said demon was the reason why I was shunned in the past. I'll probably be shunned again, but I don't care. I suppose that I'll need to go through the Academy this year?"
"Yeah," replied the old man, rubbing his temples. "Wait. What organization are you fleeing from?"
"Akatsuki. They are after all of the Bijuu. When they get all nine, they'll use their combined power to remake the world to their liking, with themselves as the rulers."
"How do you know so much about them?"
"I had a few run-ins with their members. Evidently, Sasori was one among their number. All of them are nukenin from various countries, and among them is Uchiha Itachi."
The ANBU gasped.
"Why am I not surprised?" inquired the Hokage rhetorically.
"I think I can take shelter here due to the fact that we have so many talented shinobi around."
"You really think we can stand against them?"
"Certainly."
"We'll see what we can do. Until then, here is the address to an apartment that you can have..."
"If you don't mind, I would like to live in the Forest of Death."
"Why?"
"Hardly anyone goes there, and I can work on my puppets in relative peace and quiet."
"You will have to share the Forest with Mitarashi Anko."
"Fine with me. I'll stay out of her way if she stays out of mine."
"Good. You will report to the Academy on Monday morning, at eight. Understood?"
"Yes."
"Dismissed. Oh, and Naruto?"
The blonde turned to look at the Hokage.
"Thank you for coming back."
Naruto smiled. Then he left after his hood pulled itself back over his head.
Naruto had a single thought in his head at that moment: Gullible geezer.
After Naruto left, the Sandaime Hokage called for the captain of the ANBU.
"Sir!"
"At ease. I have an S-Ranked mission for you and the ANBU to complete. I want Uzumaki Naruto under twenty-four-hour surveillance. Do not let him detect you. Now go."
A woman in a short black skirt, a fishnet shirt, and a flowing trench coat panted with exertion. She had black hair and was 23 years old. Her name was Anko, and she was busy training in the Forest of Death when she felt a semi-familiar presence. Suddenly, a brown blur was in front of her. She dodged to the side as a pair of katanas came at her. She fired a few snakes out of her sleeves to attack the unknown being in the robe, but all she hit was air. The creature was high in the air. It suddenly began to dive towards her. She had to leap to avoid the double horizontal slash that it attacked with next. While in the air, she snap-kicked it in the chest, eliciting a grunt from her assailant and a great deal of pain in her foot.
She stumbled when she landed and fell backwards. She thought that it was all over, when the robed figure began to laugh. The swords disappeared up the sleeves of the robe.
"That was fun!" stated the figure, obviously male. "You have a great deal of talent, Mitarashi Anko. Yes, a great deal of talent. You just have had no real practice."
Though her foot still throbbed in pain, she was curious as to who it was in the hood. "Who are you?"
"You should remember me. No? Well, I remember you. You threw a rock at my head when I was three. Don't worry, I bear you no grudge."
"Again, who are you?"
His hood pulled itself back, revealing his head.
"Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi."
"By the kami! You're supposed to be dead!"
"I was presumed dead because a nukenin named Sasori captured me. I escaped, but not before taking his techniques, his devices, and his life. Now I'm back, and I'm your neighbor in this Forest."
"You live here now?"
"By request. I figure that this would be the only place where I can build my puppets in peace and quiet. I'll spar and train with you, but don't bother me when I'm building puppets."
"You're a puppet master?"
"Yeah. Want to see some of my artwork?"
"Um, sure."
Naruto pulled a scroll out of his sleeve. Anko gasped.
"What?"
"What happened to your hands!"
"Huh?" Naruto looked at his hands, being puppet hands made partially out of bone and partially out of steel. "Oh, I got in a fight. Bloody fight, but I won."
"And your mouth?"
"Some jerk punched it in, so I had to replace my teeth."
"And your feet?"
"Another fight with some nukenin. I forced him to escape and then I made these replacements."
"Ah."
Naruto unsealed a puppet from his scroll. It was shaped like a giant spider, and its legs ended in razor-sharp blades.
"This is Hachi. I sometimes use it as a mount. It is equipped with eight blades, four net launchers, two envenomed senbon repeaters, a flamethrower, and various stores of sticky gelatins for taking prisoners or hostages without harming them."
"Wow."
"Yeah, I've also put special seals on the eyes, allowing me to see through them as if they were my own."
"Ingenious. May I see another puppet?"
"Certainly."
Naruto unsealed another puppet. It had a snake-like tail and body, but it had a humanoid torso. One of the arms had a chainsaw for a hand, and the other had a claw. The head was a parody of a human head. On the back, four wings existed, each one ending in a blade.
"This is Ryu. Yes, it can fly. It has four blades, a chainsaw, a claw, a hidden kunai launcher, an acid grenade launcher in the tail, and a chakra-draining seal allowing it to survive most elemental jutsu. It is also built to withstand a beating, meaning that it can stop even large summons in their tracks. I built it to shield me and my other puppets from attacks. Again, this puppet has my specially-sealed eyes."
"Doesn't it get confusing to see through so many eyes at once?"
"It did at first, but I've gotten used to it."
As Naruto walked to the Academy on Monday morning with the hood off of his head, he ignored the glares the villagers were giving him. Several of them had tried to attack him or throw things at him. He quickly broke their weapons and slapped the thrown objects out of the air, all without breaking stride. He also seemed to ignore their attacks. Eventually, they gave up trying to hurt him.
I have to put on a show so that I'm not discovered. Seems the old man wasn't as gullible as I thought, I'm being followed by no fewer than six ANBU. Well, I suppose practicing my stealth would be a good idea.
"Class, we have a new student this year. I know he's bigger than any of you, but he was presumed dead before. This is Uzumaki Naruto."
"Hello."
The class was silent. Then one of the students (Kiba, who else?) laughed.
"Hey, guys! He's got chicken legs!"
Several other students also laughed. They stopped laughing when Naruto smiled at them.
"AH! What happened to your face!" asked Ino, very loudly.
"I got in a fight and the jerk punched my mouth in. So I crushed his spine before making a set of replacement jaws."
The entire class stared as Naruto simply walked to the back of the class and sat down next to Shikamaru, who was sitting next to Chouji. Iruka shook his head at Naruto's attitude.
Chouji didn't seem afraid of Naruto.
"Nice to see you around again. Do you remember me?"
"Yeah. You're Chouji, right?"
"Mmhm," replied the boy as he stuffed his face with potato chips.
"This would be Shikamaru then?"
"Yeah."
Said boy began to wake up.
"What'd I miss?"
"Naruto is back."
"Really?" Shikamaru turned towards Naruto. "My, you certainly have grown."
"Most of it is prosthetics. I've been in a lot of fights in the past four years."
"What's your specialty?"
"Puppets and silent killing."
Shikamaru yawned. "Interesting. Well, I'm going back to sleep. Wake me up at the end of class."
"He always sleep in class?"
"Yeah."
"And you always eat?"
"Mmhm."
Naruto absentmindedly paid attention to the lesson as he looked around the room and gauged the relative strengths of the other students. Itachi's younger brother caught his eye, as well as a Hyuga girl who kept blushing every time he caught her glancing at him. Kiba was fairly strong, but paled in comparison to Chouji. Shikamaru had low chakra reserves as did Sakura, meaning that they had excellent control. Ino was average. Shino was difficult to tell due to the bugs, but he seemed to be a genius. Naruto catalogued this information for later.
The end of the year finally arrived, and Naruto evidently couldn't do the bunshin properly, though his henge and kawarimi were perfect. His bunshin kept being of what he would look like if he wasn't a puppet. He failed the exam, but then Mizuki told Naruto that there was a second exam. If Naruto could steal the Forbidden Scroll of Seals and learn one jutsu, he would pass for sure. Naruto played along.
He stole the scroll and switched it with a replica of it, to avoid the alarms going off. Additionally, he was able to ditch his ANBU shadows long before the operation had started.
He went off to learn a few jutsu from it. He learned the Kagebunshin (Shadow Clone) and Hiru Banshou: Bouka no jutsu (Leech All Creation: Attack Prevention no jutsu). None of the other jutsu on the scroll interested him, so he switched the scroll with the fake one again, without setting off any alarms. Then he tipped off the ANBU as to Mizuki's plans to steal the scroll after trying to trick Naruto into doing it.
Then Naruto went to bed after petitioning Iruka for a second chance at the Genin Exam. Iruka relented and decided to give Naruto a second chance. Naruto didn't actually go to sleep (as he didn't need to) but he did check all his puppets and did maintenance on them.
Naruto was happy that the plan was proceeding as scheduled.
End Chapter One.
Next Chapter: Life as a tsukumogami.
Author's Notes
Plot bunny suggested by michael68. Curse him for giving me an idea!
Just kidding, of course.
Yeah yeah. Seems very similar to Chibi-Reaper's "Rebirth" story, but michael68 had actually given me the plot bunny before the Littlest Death posted his story. Undoubtedly, I am going to go in a very different direction from his story.
Yes. Some people are out of character. So what? Some of them are my interpretations on those characters, and others are blatant personality changes.
Pain is Pein. You morons should know that by now.
STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT HOW I SPELL NAMES! Unless you catch something along the lines of my Tatewai/Tatewaki mistake that I had made in "Pride of the Goblins", then it's okay. But arguing with me that Might Guy's name is spelled Maito Gai is pointless. If I spell it that way, I may as well write Rock Lee's name as Roku Rii. Yeah, I didn't think so. So stop bugging me about it.
Yes, Naruto was doing the bunshin wrong on purpose. The series is going to divert drastically from canon from this point forward.
Thanks go out to Benjamin A. Oliver (of "Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow" fame), who preread this as I was waiting for Cylon One to preread it. Ben made several suggestions as how to improve it. However, I will not tell you guys how to contact him. He's busy enough as it is.
Naruto's Weaponry
Weapon
Location
Description
Leopard Teeth
Mouth
Used to give Naruto a more fearsome appearance, but also strengthened with seals to the point that the teeth, in tandem with the jaws, can crush steel.
Assassin Needle
Right hand (small), inside palm
Injects a quick-acting neurotoxin to quickly kill the target.
Talons
Feet
Used to give Naruto a more fearsome appearance as well as allowing him to grip things with his feet, such as enemy weapons.
Katana (x2)
Sleeves of robe
Two simple katanas made in Suna. Very durable and light.