Because you're all amazing and your comments are the sweetest, a longer update than usual :)
This was meant to be a good morning. Piper had just been driven back from the hospital by Morello, her right arm finally free of that godforsaken cast. But as she walked back into her cube in high spirits, these were immediately dashed by the sight of Alex and Nicky sat awfully close to each other on Alex's bunk. Piper felt like a bucket of ice water had just been emptied over her entire body.
Nicky looked up and seemed genuinely pleased for her. "Hey Mike Tyson! It's off! Not planning on punching anyone else anytime soon, are ya? Or are you more looking to take a bite of someone's ear?"
Piper smiled as best as she could, though it turned out more like a grimace. Alex's eyes flicked up to hers but betrayed nothing of what the dark-haired woman was thinking. Piper decided to attempt humour: "Nah I think I'll stick to Red's food, thanks, but I was thinking a face tattoo might make me look more fierce?"
Nicky laughed good-naturedly and Piper sat down to sort a few things out before heading to the library. Alex turned to Nicky and flirtatiously placed her hand on the other inmate's knee, eyebrows raised. "So... how long do we have before work?" she purred, slowly moving her hand up Nicky's leg. Even the recipient of this sudden affection seemed surprised.
Piper felt bile rising in her throat, certain Alex was deliberately overdoing it to spite her yet powerless to stop her body's response. "Do you have to do that right in front of me?" she spat.
Nichols looked uncomfortable, unsure how to react. This wasn't her fight. She turned to Alex to see what she would do.
Sure enough, Alex happily rose to the occasion to snap at Piper: "Oh come off it Chapman, just the other day you were whining to me about Larry not calling you back when we were actually getting together." Everyone present could almost taste the venom in every word.
"That was different, we were having an affair!" Piper tried to keep her voice down and failed miserably, becoming slightly hysterical. "You knew I was getting married when I came in here. I know I have no right to tell you who to fool around with, but at least have the decency to not rub it in my face!", Piper yelled as she stormed out, not quite managing to keep her voice from squeaking at the end of her sentence.
Nicky sighed at Chapman's retreating form. "Jesus fucking Christ, you two are ridiculous. Who needs soap operas when we've got our very own middle school dyke drama right here live at Litchfield!"
Alex looked ashamed. She was behaving like a petulant teenager. "Nicky..."
Nicky just rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Save it, kid. We're fine, I just have to get to work. Got some very important wires to fiddle with."
What a shame. Nichols knew Vause could be a great source of comfort for her in this shithole. They had great banter, she was hot as fuck and the sex was fantastic. Besides, Nicky genuinely cared for the woman. But she should've known she could never replace Chapman in Vause's heart, and if messing around with the sexy tattooed inmate meant getting caught up in their complicated fuckfest of emotion, she wasn't sure she wanted a part of it.
After lunch, Piper sat in the TV room hoping to distract herself from her thoughts, which inevitably turned to Alex. Alex in prison, Alex back in that former life of theirs, always Alex, Alex, Alex. Unfortunately, as hard as she tried to not be bored to death by Taystee's surprising preference for wildlife documentaries, she kept coming back to her conclusion that she had well and truly fucked everything up this time.
And who should come in to the common room at that moment, as if to provide living proof in case she needed it for her moment of self-flagellation, but the object of her every current dream and nightmare. Alex didn't seem particularly pleased to see her either, though she tried to pretend like she hadn't at all, but sat down defiantly and aggressively opened up the newspaper that had been left on the table. Alex spent a few moments looking bored while flicking through its contents. But through Piper's eyes who had known her so well, although they currently only dared observe through regular sideways glances, the woman who usually appeared so effortless in her rockabilly coolness seemed to be trying hard to appear unaffected.
Until, that is, Alex's back straightened and she leaned forward, her attention genuinely caught by the words on the page. She looked troubled, but Piper didn't have time to guess any more before Alex slammed the paper down on the table and walked straight out of the room.
Piper did a quick sweep of the gathered inmates, wondering whether anybody had noticed anything unusual. Yoga Jones and Sister Ingalls were playing cards in comfortable silence at a table, while Pousséy seemed to be enjoying messing around with Taystee. "As IF your first reflex would be to punch the motherfucker on the nose!", she laughed, while Taystee enthusiastically mimed her idea of getting out of a shark attack. "My hand ain't going anywhere near those teeth!"
Piper went over to the table Alex had just left, curious. She grabbed the abandoned newspaper and there she read, in a minuscule column amongst other insignificant news items: Neil Burley, drummer of legendary rock band Deathmayne, dies of a heroin overdose, aged 66.
"Shit."
Another party, another evening surrounded by nameless strangers. Piper sat alone on a couch, feeling alone and dejected. Alex had neglected her all evening to take care of urgent business issues that had been stressing her out for weeks. Piper had known her girlfriend was going to have to spend most of the night flitting between various intimidating men she refused to know anything about, but she had still come along. For moral support, she told herself, or in the hopes of something exciting happening, she suspected, but most importantly to be near Alex. This she knew.
A tall, blonde man sat down next to her, sending her what she knew he thought was a disarmingly charming smile.
"What's a pretty lady like you doing here all alone?", he asked in a way that made Piper suspect it wasn't the first time he had said this to a woman.
"Who said I was alone?" Piper retorted, hoping the stranger would take a hint from her disinterested tone. "I'm here with my girlfriend."
"Oh really?!" There it was, that way of overpronouncing the 'r', that arching of the eyebrows to accompany the spreading smile. That reaction that some men had, as if this information was somehow deliberately shared for their own personal enjoyment, or even to present them with an opportunity. The very reason Piper often found it easier to reply with half-truths or awkward, gender-neutral pronouns. "Well she doesn't seem to be taking very good care of you. Maybe what you need tonight is a real man."
Piper would have marvelled at this guy's quick transition from self-proclaimed charmer to true creep if it weren't so utterly gross.
"Seriously?!" she snapped. "First of all, I never said I wasn't interested in both men and women." Piper hated labels but sometimes it seemed like for some reason people needed them to actually understand certain situations. "Second of all, just because I'm bi doesn't mean I'm not monogamous, thankyouverymuch."
Piper's anger just seemed to amuse the creep and turn him on even more, to her complete frustration.
"Well maybe your girlfriend would like to join us", he leered. "Or I would be OK with just watching..."
Piper couldn't believe what she was hearing. Instead of raising her voice, the rage she felt made her lower it and narrow her eyes, one corner of her mouth almost raised in disgust. "What is it that makes some straight men think that you can invite yourselves into our bed?"
She would never be sure whether the guy genuinely interpreted this as a question deserving an answer or whether he was just so set on his journey to sexual assault that he saw no reason to change tack.
"I promise I'll show you both a really good time", he said as he reached out to place his huge paw on Piper's thigh.
"Just stay away from me!" Piper stood up abruptly, her previously defiant countenance well and truly replaced by fear.
A tall form suddenly appeared in front of Piper as a dangerously low voice warned, "You heard the lady. Stay away from her." The relief at knowing Alex was nearby was instant, and Piper started reaching for her arm. She could've sworn she heard Alex growl.
The man took a step forward, his menacing grimace attempting to intimidate Alex, who responded with a glacial stare that proved she wasn't threatened by the taller man. "Oh yeah? Or what?" he taunted.
Alex didn't even bother replying, swinging her right fist so hard into the bully's jaw that he flew backwards onto the glass table which shattered underneath him, sending glasses full of liquid all over the floor.
Alex lost out on deals worth thousands of dollars that evening, and she would have to make it up to her boss. But Piper made sure her girlfriend knew just how grateful she was, and didn't rest until she had made her come three times in a row.
As they lay pressed together, exhausted and sweaty and sated, Piper looked up into Alex's grey eyes, full of admiration and pride and love, and murmured "My hero".
Alex's dad had died. Piper knew he was a deadbeat father who had disappointed his daughter the one time she met him, but she also suspected his death would affect Alex and bring a lot of painful memories back. She remembered that night in Thailand, when they lay on a secluded beach staring at the millions of shining stars in the sky, and Alex had told her about her dad, lying with her head on Piper's shoulder. Piper's heart ached as her strong girlfriend told the story of her childhood, and of the hopeful teenager who had sought her father out only to find he was a complete asshole.
After she found out the news, Piper wanted nothing more than to wrap Alex in her arms again and make sure she was OK. She desperately wanted to at least try and redeem herself for one of the worst mistakes of her life, that fateful night that she abandoned her girlfriend when she needed her the most. She knew leaving Alex was a good decision at that point. She couldn't handle the drugs anymore, the way Alex just didn't seem to get that it was a big deal to ask her to get involved again. But leaving her to go to her mother's funeral alone was unforgivable.
Chapman sat in the common room a while longer, pondering her options. There was no way Alex was going to let Piper anywhere near her. She was still angry and lashing out, and Piper knew she had probably been coming on too strong with her grand plan and needed to give her some space. Besides, she didn't think her own heart could handle another of Alex's ruthless rejections. But she wanted to make sure her ex-girlfriend got what comfort she could in this miserable place. Piper left the room to find Nichols.
"Hey kid", Nicky said cautiously as she entered the laundry room. She dumped her bag of tools on the table where Alex was busying herself folding piles of identical clothing. "I just came to check on the, errrr, lights", she added unconvincingly, pointing at random to one of the perfectly functional ones on the ceiling. "How are you doing?" she asked a little too earnestly to be just casual conversation.
Alex raised her eyebrows, barely looking up from her task. "Let me guess. Chapman?"
Nichols laughed drily. "She's just concerned, Sherlock. Asked me to check on you."
"Well you can run right back to her and tell her there was no need." Alex felt bad at being so unnecessarily short with Nicky when she knew the other inmate was only trying to help.
"Listen, Vause. I know your dad was a dick. But even if my mom is a complete cunt I'm sure I'd have some... feelings if she croaked. Not that it's a strong possibility, the bitch will outlive us all."
Voluntarily talking about feelings must've been quite a struggle for the sarcastic inmate, and Alex appreciated the effort. Still, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about her own. She looked up from the laundry into Nicky's eyes, her voice a little softer in an attempt to show that she wasn't mad at Nicky, but still firm. "Well I have no feelings. You should probably take care of that emergency repair of yours", she added with a hint of a smile.
"Suit yourself, kid." Nicky looked up at the lights. "A thorough visual inspection has confirmed my advanced analysis that there is nothing wrong." The amateur electrician nodded, before shouldering her bag of tools and giving Vause her signature cocky smile as she sauntered out of the room.
Alex made it through the rest of the day on autopilot, purposefully ignoring Piper's concerned gaze when she got back to her bunk and as they prepared for bed. Alex genuinely hadn't thought she would feel anything if her absent father ever passed away, and she more importantly didn't want to.
But when the lights went out, lying in a foetal position on her uncomfortable bunk, Alex unexpectedly started crying. Not for the man who had just died but for the father she never had, for the crushing disappointment of finding out that her real one was nothing like her fantasies, and for how different things were turning out to how she had dared to imagine. Lying in the dark, she wondered what her mother would say if she could see her only child she had worked so hard to give a happy life to: stuck in prison for years, miserable, heartbroken, and so desperately alone. Unable to stop the sudden outpouring of emotion, Alex Vause wept for her life.
Piper lay with her back to Alex, pondering her options. She wanted nothing more than to rush over to her ex-girlfriend and hold her, but she lay still, playing the different scenarios in her head several times, wondering whether Alex would blow her off. Eventually she decided the risk was worth it, as her heart just couldn't bear to lie there listening to Alex cry her eyes out.
Piper got out of her bunk quietly, keeping her head down so as not to alert the guards. Approaching Alex's curled up form, she tentatively reached out and softly placed her hand on a shoulder, gauging her reaction. Alex's body stiffened, but she didn't move away. Encouraged, Piper slowly let her arm stroke the other woman's arm until, after a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Alex shifted forward ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly. But Piper's heart soared. It was all the permission she needed. Carefully, Piper climbed into Alex's bunk, positioning herself as her big spoon and wrapping a comforting arm around her middle. She went so far as to risk a tender kiss on Alex's shoulder, hoping she would understand that it was OK, that she was there for her, that Alex could let herself be vulnerable. And she did. As Alex's sobs continued racking her body, she gently repositioned her hand over Piper's on her own stomach, and gave a small, grateful squeeze.