Pride of the Goblins
by Lord Dragon Claw
Disclaimer: Stay the Hell away from the Bog of Eternal Stench. That is all.
Chapter Two: Ten Years Later
Ranma watched as Harry played with Soun and a number of members from the Fire Gang in the Goblin City outside the Castle. Harry was almost eleven years old now, Soun already thirteen. Suddenly, four more children joined the fray. All of them had white hair and strange eyebrows. One was fifteen years old, another was twelve, another would turn eleven a week before Harry, and the last was nine.
"They play so well together," said a woman's voice behind Ranma in Japanese.
Ranma refocused his eyes so he could see the woman's reflection. She was distinctly Chinese and had a thick Mandarin accent, though she spoke Japanese quite fluently. Her white hair was tied in a wide braid behind her and had a purple tint to it. She too had the strange eyebrows.
Ranma remembered the first time they had met quite vividly - he challenged her in a competition over food and she lost. She seemed quite pissed and vowed to kill him, though she ended up being engaged to him later. Most people remembered her name as "Shampoo", but Ranma knew it to be Xian Pu.
There was another woman behind her, playing with a six-year-old child who also had the strange eyebrows and shock of white hair. The woman was attempting to teach her young daughter how to make a complicated powdered toxin by breaking up several of the major phases into simple nursery rhymes. Again, this woman had white hair and weird eyebrows, but her hair was tinted silver, as if it had once been black. Her hair was pulled back into a tight, but long, ponytail.
"One, Two,
"Drops of horse blood,
"Three, Four,
"Pinches of salt..."
The woman and her daughter chanted together while Xian Pu rolled her eyes at them.
In the corner, Nabiki, Ranma's second wife, was teaching an eight-year-old boy the basics of goblin politics while a two-year-old boy amused himself nearby by smashing several dolls made to look like orcs with a mallet (the dolls made screaming noises as they were squished and tried in vain to get away from the wrath of the toddler). Both boys were sons of Nabiki and their white hair was strangely well-kept, just like their mother's. Needless to say, they also had the weird eyebrows.
"Okay Misa," said the pony-tailed woman to her daughter. "Go practice the first two steps by yourself for awhile."
"Tired of teaching Misa new potions, Kodachi?" inquired Ranma.
"Not on your life!" responded the pony-tailed woman with absolutely no heat in her voice. "She's learning these formulae faster everyday... if only Tatewaki were still around..."
"You mean your son or your brother?" inquired Xian Pu.
"My brother."
"Ow, that has got to hurt," commented Ranma when the ten-year-old who was barely older than Harry outside accidentally caused a building to collapse on himself.
"What happened?" asked Kodachi.
"Tatewaki dumped a building on his own head."
Kodachi shrugged. "He'll live."
"Let me guess," said Xian Pu. "He used the Bakusai Tenketsu in the wrong place again?"
"Yup," replied Ranma, laughter in his eyes. "Xian, I think you'll want to know what your daughter is doing."
Xian Pu stood up and walked to the window. She searched for the twelve-year-old girl among the brawl. She soon found the girl beating a Fire Gang member over the head with both of his own legs. Xian Pu laughed.
"Kho Lon seems to have things well-in-hand!" Suddenly, her laughter ceased.
"Ooo... ow," muttered Ranma. "Seems Harry snuck up on her."
Harry was soon being ganged up on by Kho Lon and the nine-year-old girl.
"Hey Nabiki!" called Xian Pu.
"Yeah," replied the woman in the corner.
"Nodaka is beating Harry with an arm. Again."
"Poor girl," muttered Nabiki. "She can't decide whether she likes Harry or not... Well, Ryu, shall we continue?"
"Sure Mama," replied the eight-year-old. He glanced at the two-year-old. "Just to let you know, I think Kanta is going to need more victims soon."
Nabiki glanced at her other son in the room. The stuffing from the dolls was coming out of them in random places. A couple of the dolls neither screamed nor moved - they had lost too much stuffing. "Yeah. I'll make sure Goffi creates some more."
"There goes Tsiin Ku with his pyrotechnics again," said Ranma as the fifteen-year-old boy began shooting jets of flame out of his palms at Kho Lon and Nodaka. The girls dodged the assault while Harry used the body of the nearby Fire Gang member as a shield.
Suddenly, the flames died out as Soun got Tsiin Ku into a headlock. Unfortunately, they happened to both be standing on the rubble from Tatewaki's earlier mistake and they got blasted upwards by the ten-year-old's second Bakusai Tenketsu. He suddenly got Nodaka's boot in his stomach, but he merely shrugged it, and all her consequent attacks, off like they were barely enough to stun him. Ranma had continued to give a play-by-play account of the fight until someone yelled at him.
"DAD!" exclaimed an annoyed Ryu. "I'm trying to study!"
Ranma merely chuckled with amusement as a retort.
The brawl continued to progress for another three hours until Harry and Tatewaki were the only two still able to stand (all the Fire Gang members involved had their various body parts scattered so widely that it would take hours for them to be able to link back up properly). Harry pulled a crystal sphere from inside his clothes and dropped it on Tsiin Ku's head. It disappeared as soon as it touched the older boy. Tsiin Ku seemed to be suddenly awake and healed... but he had a cat's tail sticking out over his belt. He simply ripped it off. Tsiin Ku lifted an unconscious Soun onto his shoulders, Harry carried Kho Lon, and Tatewaki carried Nodaka. They returned to the Castle in silence.
Ranma was soon found teaching all his children, and Harry, all about the Impossibility Room. Xian Pu, Nabiki, and Kodachi were all also watching Ranma teach. Kanta, who was far too young to understand the complicated subject of the physics of chaos, was sitting in Nabiki's arms, twisting the limbs of one of his orc dolls. The doll whimpered and cried out at appropriate intervals.
Floating in the middle of the Room was a crystal sphere.
"Now," said Ranma. "Who, other than Tsiin Ku, can tell me why the Impossibility Room is a great place for magical scrying?"
Nodaka raised her hand. She began speaking when Ranma gestured towards her. "Because the chaos is so saturated in this room that any and all barriers and wards against scrying tend to fail."
"Thank you Nodaka." As Ranma continued, Kho Lon whispered into Harry's ear.
"I think she deserves a fish."
Harry sniggered. Suddenly, he was falling... "upwards", head-over-heels, with a large bump on the top of his head. He landed on the... "ceiling".
"Ow..." muttered Harry.
"Pay attention," commanded Ranma, looking... "up" at him.
"Kho Lon's fault!" retorted Harry.
"I don't ca-" began Ranma, but then the crystal sphere in the middle of the Room began to shine. It showed an image of Ranma, Harry, and Tatewaki in London. Suddenly, the sphere shattered and dissolved.
Everyone in the Room blinked.
"Well," began Ranma. "It seems as though destiny and/or chaos wish us to be there." He turned to his wives. "Xian, Nabs, Ko? Can I count on you three to run the kingdom?"
"Of course," replied Nabiki over a particularly painful scream from Kanta's doll.
"Good. Consult Jareth if you need him. Tatewaki, Harry? Pack your things. We may be there for awhile."
Morning found Dumbledore staring at his Directometer, the one that was keyed to Harry Potter's blood. It was pointing in the direction of London. He was excited; Harry was finally back!
Dumbledore checked the list of new students for the next term. Harry's name was back on the list. He glanced through it and found a new name had been added to it: Saotome Tatewaki. Dumbledore recognized it as a Japanese name.
By the end of the week, Dumbledore's information network had located Harry, though the boy seemed to have joined some sort of gang. There was another boy with him with similarly shock-white hair and weird eyebrows. The other boy's hair was longer and wilder than Harry's, though their hair was swept-back for the most part. There was also a full-grown man with them, also with white hair and strange eyebrows. His hair was also wild, but it ended in a pigtail in the back. Dumbledore figured that this man had adopted Harry as his son.
On the thirtieth of July, the day before Harry's birthday, Harry was surprised to have a letter delivered to him via an owl. Tatewaki received one as well.
Mr. H. Potter
Number 13 Lucky Street
Islington
London
HOGWARTS SCHOOL
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress
Tatewaki's letter was very similar.
Mr. T. Saotome
Number 13 Lucky Street
Islington
London
HOGWARTS SCHOOL
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Saotome,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress
"What do they mean, they 'await your owl'?" asked Tatewaki.
"I'm not entirely sure," replied Ranma. "I seem to remember that wizards communicate via letters carried by owls."
"Weird," commented Harry. "Have they never heard of telepathy?"
"I don't think they have," said the Goblin King.
There was a knock on the door. Ranma looked through the peephole. He suddenly opened the door, dragged the knocking man inside, and shut and locked the door.
The man he dragged in was very short and had diminutive glasses on the bridge of his nose. He looked bewildered that he had been handled so roughly.
"Who are you?" inquired Ranma threateningly.
"Professor Flitwick, an instructor at Hogwarts," replied the short man calmly.
"What are you doing here?"
"Insuring that you are able to make a reply to the administration at Hogwarts."
"Is that normal?" asked Tatewaki.
"Only for those without owls," commented Flitwick casually. "And for Muggleborns."
"Well boys, are you going to go to this school for magic?" asked Ranma.
Harry and Tatewaki looked at each other in unison. Then (also in unison) they grinned, turned, and replied.
"Yes."
"Very well," said Flitwick.
He took out a quill, an inkpot, and some parchment and wrote a note to Professor Dumbledore. He then pulled out a wand and pointed it at the door. It instantly unlocked and opened, admitting a grey barn owl into the room. It took the parchment and flew off. With another wave of his wand, Flitwick closed and locked the door again.
"I am to guide you to the Leaky Cauldron tomorrow," began Flitwick in his squeaky voice. "There you will meet Rubeus Hagrid, the gamekeeper at Hogwarts. He will help you both purchase your school supplies."
After Flitwick had gone to sleep on the sofa, Ranma, Harry, and Tatewaki deliberated on whether or not they should just slit the short man's throat. Ranma was all for the idea of slitting the man's throat and leaving him in a dumpster somewhere. Tatewaki wanted to rough him up instead. Harry, on the other hand, was curious about this magic school. Using goblin political tactics, Harry finally managed to convince Ranma against causing harm to the diminutive man on the sofa after two hours of debate.
"Besides," said Harry. "He was able to use regular magic to get a controlled result with no side-effects. That would be infinitely useful for me, and for your family."
"True," agreed Ranma. "You and Tatewaki are going to Hogwarts then."
"I agreed to no such deal!" retorted the other boy.
"You'll be grounded for a year if you don't go."
"Oh? And how will you manage enforcing that, Dad?"
"I won't be enforcing it. Matron Aanaq will."
Tatewaki's eyes widened in fear as his jaw slackened.
"Harsh," stated Harry.
"I'll be good," said Tatewaki timidly. "I'll go to Hogwarts."
"On a brighter note," began Harry. "Just think of all the chaos we'll be able to cause once we're there."
"Just a thought though," chimed in Tatewaki, who was a lot more calm now that the subject had changed. "Exactly how are we going to pay for our supplies?"
"Glad you asked," said Tatewaki's father. "First of all, the wizards' banks in this world are owned and operated primarily by goblins. Second, Harry's parents were loaded. There's more money in Harry's trust fund than he could manage to spend in a lifetime, if he's frugal."
"Sire," began Harry. "I'm a goblin. Greed and frugality are the same thing to me."
"Precisely. And that is only ONE of the vaults you own."
"Dad? What about us?"
"I'm sure Harry will be willing to let us borrow some money..."
"Only if you pay interest."
"... wait, what?"
"Greedy as a goblin, remember?"
"I can still tell them to freeze your accounts."
"Touché. Fine. Zero percent interest." At Ranma's dirty look, Harry hastily amended his statement. "... as a fixed rate!"
Ranma smiled.
End Chapter Two.
Author's Notes
The other chapter. I hope I have progressed better as a writer than this.
It makes me cringe.