Guys, this Chapter is in Remus John Lupin's POV- it's what he thought of the last chapter. Very revealing I'll say. Enjoy this little lapse of control. After all that's when we say what we're really thinking, right?

Disclaimer: ALL HAIL QUEEN J. FOR IT WAS HER MAJESTY THAT BROUGHT THE HARRY POTTER WORLD AND ALL MARAUDERS.(OC is mine) I'm just here to make the dolls walk and talk.

DANCE PUPPETS DANCE! *cue evil laugh*. Okay, you can read the chapter now.

BUT FIRST: I would just like to add a big thank you to Made-in-Denmark for reading and reviewing. You make my day :) so thanks.

Chapter 4: Cage the beast and close the curtains.

RPOV:

I looked at Gwen as the neutral pain medication slid down my throat doing nothing. It was just for show, but as I saw the small frown on Gwen's face I knew it wasn't working. I heard her sigh.

She knows something's up. She's too smart- she's going to find out about me. She'll hate me. She'll think I'm a monster. I forced myself to relax and nod as Miss Pomfrey pretended to give me some advice.

I thought that would convince her but her frown deepened for some reason.

'Shall we go?' Sirius said to us casually, more casually than I could have right now. How could he remain so calm- couldn't he see her face.

She nodded absentmindedly and stepped out walking in front of us. Sirius gave me a 'Calm down, I got this' look and began talking to her about Katy. But I knew she wasn't listening, she just smiled and nodded when he paused and laughed when he did.

She's thinking. She'll add it up. I can tell. She'll figure it out. she looked at me again and then frowned. I laughed at whatever the hell Sirius was talking about pretending to also be listening.

Sirius seemed to gather that she wasn't listening as we reached the stairs up to the common room and instead tried to begin flirting with her. Something twisted even more inside me. but then I realised that she wasn't even paying enough attention to notice him. It became funny watching him get more and flirtier now determined to get her attention. She waved at us in the common room and then went to her dorm. Sirius looked exasperated beside me.

'How did she not even notice me?' He looked disgruntled.

'Padfoot, focus- she'll figure out what I am!' I gasped. 'She is the worst person who could POSSIBLY find out.'

Sirius rolled his eyes at me, 'Moony, in what world is she the WORST person who could find out?' a thought occurred to him and his eyes flashed darkly, 'Is she a gossiper?'

I saw the dark look in his eyes and worried for her, 'No! Well, I mean I don't think so...' I thought back. She doesn't gossip does she? I mean she didn't want to talk about how mad she was at lily earlier, and I knew she was mad-I saw the look in her eye when lily stomped on James' foot and took her work. And summoned her. She was mad but she didn't say anything. But she would about this, I'm a werewolf..

I ran to our dorm and began pacing. Sirius ran behind me and closed the door casting a silencing charm as he gave me a sideways look. He seemed to know I was about to lose it. James sat up looking at us and pulled out his wand sensing trouble, 'What happened?!'

Sirius didn't answer, he just watched me pace. Peter sat up on his bed and frowned, 'What… what's happening?'

Then Sirius filled them in. But I couldn't hear them anymore. I was panicking internally. James raised his eyebrows in shock but then as Sirius finished he sighed. 'Can we trust her?'

Sirius frowned and gave me a sideways look, 'I thought we could but Remus' reaction seems…' he watched me again. My heart ached and felt as though it was in my stomach as I pictured the look she would give me if she found out.

James looked at me too, 'Maybe if she did find out… maybe she wouldn't say-'

I snapped. 'OF COURSE SHE WOULD! I'm a WEREWOLF! For merlin's sake! Who would keep that a secret! I'm a MONSTER! I wouldn't blame her if she decided to tell everyone and anyone she could. LOOK AT ME!' but they already were. Sirius and James were shocked. I'd only snapped a couple of times before. Then they looked Angry. Peter was quivering as he watched me, recoiling into his pillow. I watched as James and Sirius slowly got madder.

James jumped up, 'Dammit Moony it doesn't MATTER!'

Sirius threw in a furious, 'YOU'RE NOT A FLIPPING MONSTER!'

But they were just too kind, they didn't see it- I didn't understand why that was- but it meant they didn't understand. They were like my mum, like family- they chose to look past it. How? I didn't know. But no-one else could ever do that.

I sank against the wall and crouched there trying not to cry, 'I don't want her to know. I don't want her to look at me like that. I know it's wrong- she should know. But just a little longer. I want to be with her a little longer.' Not her. Why did it have to be her? Not Gwen.

James and Sirius sat on either side of me silently and peter sat in front of me. James patted my back, Sirius put his hand on my shoulder and peter smiled at me sadly. They were the greatest friends I could have asked for, I didn't deserve them. I really didn't.

James frowned trying to think things through then he beamed, 'So you like Gwen, huh?' Grinning-instantly pulling up the mood in the room. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. I couldn't help but chuckle,

'Trust you Prongs, to take that from everything that just happened.'

'You're not denying it!' James gasped dramatically.

Sirius rolled his eyes, 'Moony, of course Prongs would take that from your madness- he's a soppy fool- I mean, look at how he is with 'lily-flower'.' He dodged a punch from James. And continued, 'And Prongs: Moony has been nose over paws for Gwenzeey since third year! Every time he's with her he's practically floating on air' Prongs stopped trying to punch him and grinned at me.

'So that's why you go to the library so often!' his eyes widened as he suddenly realised. He seemed to be thinking back, then he laughed, 'You're worse than me!'

I rolled my eyes smiling. Peter snorted, 'Yeah but Lily hates you, and Gwen doesn't hate Remus so…' his sentence faded out as James held up a pillow threatening him, while Sirius laughed loudly. James hit them all.

'You're all MEAN! Lily and I are going to get married some day!' he whined and messed up his hair more.

We all laughed harder earning us all a punch.

I sighed, 'What am I going to do?' I groaned. Today had gone so wrong.

James sighed, 'well, she hasn't worked it out yet- '

Sirius interrupted, 'So, we just make sure that she doesn't'

Peter nodded vigorously. I nodded, slightly worried about the look in Padfoot's eye.

Sirius looked at peter's watch suddenly, 'Moony, it's almost time.' We all walked over to the window. It was true. Four more hours and I'd be a beast.

We all looked at the moon with hatred as it threatened to become full. Then James closed the curtains. We still had four more hours before we would sneak down to the shrieking shack. We decided to play exploding snap.

Sirius kind of freaks me out sometimes.

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