Lines quickly decreased as the registers dinged open and money exchanged hands. Karkat barely noticed the new customers, a middle-aged couple escaping home for "date night", three boys who were all pumped to see a new action film, a family of four out for the new Disney animation.
Population slowly fell in the lobby as viewers rushed to their screens, desperately hoping that there would be a few more previews to keep them from missing a minute of their theater experience. In one of those rare lapses when the lines were next to empty, Karkat found himself drifting off again. He didn't notice the menacing form approaching the counter.
"I believe I am next." The customer said, jolting Karkat out of his thoughts. Great. Some asshole with a snapback and a tank top and really fricking huge arms oh shit. It was sufficient enough to stop him from snapping back.
"Uh, hello, welcome to Cinema 15, may I take your order?"
The guy kept staring at him. Intensely. "I was expecting to meet someone here. You didn't happen to see a girl wearing a blue hat?"
Karkat frowned. There was only one person in the lobby wearing one, but he couldn't mean her. Definitely not. Nope. No way. He was not dealing with this situation. That was Nepeta and she was not going on a date with a guy like this. He had two options. One, leap over the counter and tackle him, which he didn't think would increase his odds of survival, or two, he could lie like his ass was on the line.
"Oh, she left a message with me, something about how she was actually leading you on and she's moving to Mexico next week and forgot to tell you"-she was creeping up behind the guy and his only way to warn her was furrowing his eyebrows-"unfortunately she never wants to see you again and"-angry eyebrow language wasn't working and she kept giggling at him-"it's really not my place but she seems too young for you and-"
A shocked look formed for a millisecond on the guy's face before he turned around, observing the smiling youth who was giggling adorably.
"You should have seen yourself freeze up, Equius! It was hilarious!" She said in between laughing fits.
"Good to know that scaring the bejeezus out of me is funny." The side of Equius's lips quirked up, a bare semblance of a smile.
"Sure was! Now, Mr. Cashier" she said with a wink, "could I get a-"
Karkat was trying to withhold his immediate reaction, but was, as usual, failing miserably. "Nepeta, what the hell? He's like five times your size and-"
"Kar, Equius is a friend. He comes by the shop and the shelter a lot, and he's safe. You're being a little bitch again." She rolled her eyes at his dismay.
"Nep, this may be where I get a paycheck, but my real job is making sure you don't go out and meet complete strangers who could be dangerous!" He pointed at the muscular man, who was extremely confused at the moment. "Look at him! He could sell gym memberships!"
"Thank you?" Equius was hopelessly lost and the line behind him was slowly growing as onlookers looked concerned.
She rolled her eyes. "Why do you think I decided to come here? If you think something's wrong, you're nearby, and I'm riding home with you after the movie anyway. It's definitely the safest thing anyone could think of, which means it's lame and you're lame."
"Gee thanks, real confidence booster, sis. What do you want to order anyway?"
"Swedish fish, large popcorn, and if you would smile a little bit, that'd be nice too." She looked pointedly at Equius, expecting him to order something. The buff male had a look of confusion written all over his face. "I suppose I will have a large water." He glanced anxiously at the line that was piling up behind them.
"Coming up. Large water, Sol!" Karkat shouted back, getting a nod from his friend.
"Oh, Sollux is here too? Hey!" Nepeta leaned on the counter and waved, trying to catch a glimpse of him.
"Hey Nep. Thought I heard KK being a lil' bitch." He replied, still concentrating on the plastic cup slowly filling with water. He glanced over, observing the brawny figure of her friend. "Wow, didn't know that wath your type."
"You know it!" She winked, much to her companion's consternation.
"Sollux, you jackass." Karkat muttered in his general direction.
Equius shook his head. "Nepeta, do you know everyone who works at this theater?"
She shrugged. "Just the funny ones with weird names."
The disgruntled clerk pulled a box of multicolored fish-shaped gummies out from under the counter, setting it on the top beside the bucket of popcorn. His coworker handed him the drink, and he tapped the worn keys of the old register.
"And that's 22.50." He said, ringing up the total on the screen, banging the side to the archaic machine when the backlight flickered.
"I've got it." Equius flicked a few bills out of his wallet. "I promise you I live by a code of chivalry," he said, stopping Nepeta as she started to cram a ten into his hand. Karkat quickly made change and handed it back to him.
"Nep, what movie are you going to see? If it's the new Paranormal movie, you know the last one didn't let you sleep for a week-"
She sighed. "No Kar, it's the new Nic Cage flick. While you're prying, why don't you ask me if my shoes are tied and if I washed my face this morning?"
"Don't be ridiculous. Your shoes are double-knotted, I already know that."
She rolled her eyes, "Right. Not a lil' bitch at all. Well, see you at eight! Come on." She turned tail, pulling the arm of her companion. They both vanished off to the side, but that didn't stop Karkat from dangling over the counter to watch them for as long as possible.
Sollux leaned over to him. "KK, you're one hell of a hover brother, you know that? Let her meet new people thometimes. Thop worrying."
Karkat was pissed. "Shut the hell up, Sollux, she's my sister. I'll glare at the people she goes out with like any normal older brother would do. Did you see the muscles on that guy? I'll bet anything that he's some sort of wrestler with a mental issue."
Sollux looked vaguely interested. "Do you work on the worth cath thenarios or do they juth come to you naturally?"
Karkat fumed. "That was not the point, you fucking moron. He's huge as shit! Nobody lets their kid sister date a bodybuilder without at least meeting him first."
"Hm, I dunno. You could take their word for it and let them be friendth. Or you could be a pain in the ath."
"It's not being a pain in the ass if I'm right." He frowned. "And anyway, I have a valid point here!"
"Sorry KK, my hearing muth be going, I thought you thaid you had a valid point." Sollux snickered, watching as his friend's face twisted into an angrier expression.
"You are so lucky I'm on the clock right now, because otherwise I would cause a deluge of pure, unadulterated rage to let flow an expansive flood of creative insults that will have the after effect of complete and utter shame wracking your brain like a twisted wire framework that supports your gristly decomposing cerebral heap for the rest of your implacably idiotic life."
"Oooh, big wordth and being a little bitch. Yeah, got it. I'll be sure to inthult you later then." Sollux was trying to hide his shit-eating grin before Karkat made Mount Pele look like a 4th grader's C- science project.
"You insufferable piece of flesh. You should try having a sister like that. I am the universe's chew-toy. It is me." He shook his head, causing his rumpled mop of brown hair to fall into a further state of disarray.
"Cheer up KK. Only a couple more hourth before thift's ov-" As Sollux looked over the counter, he froze. This did not slip beneath the notice of a certain disheveled companion.
"Sol?" Karkat looked up, following the unmoving shades to spot…
"Who's this douchebag?" He asked Sollux, observing the despicable chunk of humanity sauntering their way, a giggling girl dangling off his side. His styled blond hair bore a fluorescent purple stripe down the middle, matching the lavender shade of a striped scarf hanging around his neck.
"Thith guy pithes me off, KK. You've never had to meet him becauthe you don't work the later thifts all the time, but he'th ridiculouth. Hith dad ownth the theater, tho thith guy juth walkth in every Friday with a new guy or girl on hith arm. And the way he talkth ith hella annoying. You deal with him." Sollux said, an edge to his tone that Karkat knew better than to argue with.
"Gotcha, Sol. One douchebag order coming up soon. Unfortunately. What's up with this guy, he's giving off the aura of half tool, half hipster, one hundred percent snobby ass rich kid. I'm surprised these movies aren't too mainstream for him." The cashier snorted, then composed himself as the personification of the bane of humanity came within earshot.
"Yeah, so I was saying, oh wait, hold on darlin', I'm gonna order now." Hipster glasses focused on the less-than-pleased Karkat. "Gimme a large popcorn, a large water, a small cola, and some Care Bear gummies."
"Yes sir, we'll have your food for you in a minute." Karkat said, trying to repress the growing sense of hatred that colored his voice so frequently.
Passing by Sollux as he got the childish candy he muttered, "I was wondering why we stocked those. Large water, small cola." He repeated dutifully, because it didn't pay to piss off the owner's son.
After about a minute of top-notch concessions work, the parts and pieces of the order had assembled on the countertop. Eridan looked up from his well-endowed date to give a self-satisfied smirk.
"Oh yeah, see, my father owns this place, so just put it on his tab." The pampered tool said, savoring the words like a fine confection that only wealthy, stuck-up asshats could afford.
"Of course, enjoy the movie." Karkat managed to get out through a painfully fake half-smile. When the two disappeared, he resumed his usual expression of disgust. "That was thoroughly and absolutely ridiculous."
Sollux nodded. "You're telling me. Sometimes he trieth to hit on the cathiers. You got lucky."
Karkat's face twisted into a sneer. "Fuck, he's worse than I thought."
"Customer, KK. Turn that frown upthide-down."
"Right."
Hours dragged by as the resentful minimum wage-earner barely suffered through hesitant orders and fulfilled the employee report he had been given the previous year to the letter; "Unsatisfactory, needs to work on attitude and customer service skills"
Nepeta eventually emerged from her movie, chattering about her favorite movie character and talking a bit with Equius before bidding him farewell. Of course, this was all observed under the omnipotent eye of an overprotective brother who analyzed the situation on several planes of romance all at once. Since it was still a while before shift ended, Nepeta reminded her brother that she could drive and got him to reluctantly hand over the keys, convincing him to ride home with Sollux later. He reluctantly agreed, but not before thoroughly conducting a monologue including thirty distinct points, sixteen useless safety tips and one sarcastic joke.
A/N: I just can't get the image of Nepeta cruising around town in a convertible with J-Pop blaring out of my head. It's too much fun. And yes, human!Nepeta and Karkat are family in my headcanon. I am not going into Nepeta's unrequited flush crush, because she doesn't deserve that. They have extremely interesting backstories that I will refuse to reveal all at once ^_^ Read and Review