Honestly, I hadn't plan on taking this long to post this one. *cough* Rizzles *cough* is turning out to be a much bigger distraction than i thought. Actually, I had planned to get this up before I left for my trip but I ended up finishing this in the week after I returned from it. To make it up to you guys I worked extra hard and surprisingly, it turned out much longer than I expected.

This chapter was so fun to write.

I hope you like it as much as i do. Please enjoy. :D

Fear.

That was what coursed through her veins. It felt like someone was keeping a death grip on her insides, her mind racing with a million thoughts and none at the same time while her heart throbbed against her ears as if counting down to her oblivion. Tremors rippled through her entire frame and the urge to retch crawled through her throat but she stayed stuck to that spot - wherever she was- holding it in.

It was dark. Awfully and intensely dark. All she could hear was the sound of an engine; a motor sputtering in the background. She noticed her breathing was coming in heavy; horrid, short gasps escaping her mouth with each puff, her body, hot and feverish. Sweat poured over her body; the fabric she wore, stuck to her in a crumpled mess. It felt like she was stuck in a sauna and the heat prickled her skin in such an uncomfortable way that she felt like jumping into a pool even though she barely knew how to swim and was still quite afraid of the water.

"We did it, bro! I can't believe it was so easy!"

"Hey, don't get so cosy there. The most crucial part hasn't been done yet. Don't go celebrating- watch out!"

Suddenly the voices stopped. No, it was like everything was set to a halt; gone. Even the engine sputters were absent. The sun was upon her eyelids, her vision turning red under them. That was when she opened her eyes and forced her limbs to move. To where she did not know but all her mind was centred on was to get away from there as soon as and as far as she could. She was vaguely aware of the cuts and bruises on her person; the trail of blood from where she had been a clue to how serious it was. The pain did not register; her movements undeterred. She did all she could, even to go as far as to crawl when she fell from her feet. Pulling herself across the pavement, she noted the smell of smoke before darkness took its claim over her once again but this time her senses felt not a single thing.

Floating in a sea of nothingness, she could finally relax.

"Oh looks like Gensou had just finished with his visitor."

She pointed towards a car that was leaving and then to a house.

"That's his office right there. He's a family doctor, in case you were wondering."

In her mind the car seemed familiar but she couldn't put a finger on it. The car was already out of her sight before she could look closely. Shrugging it off, she check herself subtly at the side view mirror. It never hurt to make sure you look prim and proper. Prim and proper here meaning: 'Hi, I am nobody suspicious so you can tell me anything' and maybe, if possible, 'Don't I look nice and charming? I would be a good match for Natsuki, won't I?'. Though the thought never really sunk into her that these people were in fact parents to her lookalike (the late wife to the person she was pining over) and not exactly Natsuki's. But at any rate, it never hurt. Especially since Natsuki seemed to think quite fondly of them, if her tone and gestures when talking of or with them were any indication.

"Well anyway, here we are. Welcome to the Arikawa residence."

It looked every bit the typical suburban home. Even before she pulled her car towards the driveway, she could already sense the homey feel. Instantly, an image of a family living there popped into her head. She could just see it; the parents sitting on garden chairs out on the front lawn, watching over their kid playing with a big, fluffy dog while sipping lemonade. And they were laughing; so, so happily. A twitch registered but was otherwise ignored. Facing away for a moment of stillness, she pushed the thought away.

"You said you used to live around here? Which one was it?"

"You see the one with the green roof over there across the street? That used to be where my family lived. The new owners have already remodeled the house though so it doesn't look quite the same as it did back then."

She gave the house a once over, noting a small playhouse sitting pleasantly on the front lawn. Its walls were a plastic white with a splash of pink on the front door while the roof was a hue of purple a shade bluer from violet. But what had caught her attention was the little head poking out from one of the windows; a bob of black with strikingly big wide eyes staring straight at her. She gave her an affable wave with her hand, partly to wrench her away from staring so intently bright at her. The girl's response surprisingly, was to run into the house instead of the wave she had expected as per the norm.

"It looks like the children living in that house have a tendency to run when people wave at them. I recall Natsuki saying that she had done the same before."

However the reason for the girl's rush was for an entirely different reason than what had happened between Natsuki and Kaya all those years ago. While Natsuki had run in annoyance, the girl did not express the same reaction. She had been shy and also excited to tell her mother of this beautiful woman at their neighbour's house. Luckily for them, the girl's mother was not fully paying attention to what had been said by the girl. Had she heard and looked through the window to see who it was, she would have gotten the shock of her life and come night time, the neighbourhood would be abuzz about the sighting of a woman thought to be deceased. By morning, the phone in the Arikawa residence would be ringing with a vengeance.

Suddenly thinking of the possibility that such a thing could happen, Natsuki clicked her tongue before uttering,

"Maybe we should head inside."

She half turned her head to look at the windows as they walked towards the door, feeling relief when not a single one had their curtains open. It would be a pain to explain to everyone her situation as it was, especially with the nosy neighbours that lived in this community-oriented area where words travel fast and everyone liked to get into everyone else's business. She thought it nice at first -that they liked to help each other and seemed like a caring community- but when they went too far and got too near her personal bubble it felt more like they were sticking their noses where they shouldn't. No one would want a neighbor who knew every single detail of their life now would they? Especially when said life had some very, very private issues that one does not wish to be known by anybody other than who they chose to disclose them to. And not to mention the fact that she was after all, a very private person.

The door was unlocked when she turned the knob in her hands. Thinking Shizuka must have left it like that when expecting her return as she did quite a few times before, she did not have any suspicions when entering the house. Walking in, Natsuki was startled by the whimpers coming from the couch facing away from them and immediately she went to comfort her daughter, crouching down towards her with arms curling around the tiny curled up body, guilt eating away at her heart as she did so.

As Shizuru watched her from where she stood, a wave of conflicting emotions flitted pass her only to be squashed down by her mask of nonchalance; everything she didn't need pushed so far back in her mind that she tricked herself into thinking she didn't have them. There would still be a gnaw there somewhere that presented itself as a mild headache but she found it easier to handle than what she was feeling at the moment.

She had dealt with pain many times before. Pain was much more straight forward, uncomplicated and easily ignored. She didn't have think too much on it nor do anything about it. Because given enough time, it would simply go away. As used to it as she was, it was simply like pain already had a home in her head and this was one of those times that pain would come back and stay there till it decided to go on vacation again. She had grown up with it. Grown used to it. All those times when she was left alone to herself; isolated because of the evident differences she presented between her and her peers and also having to deal with inattentive parents who were never there when she wanted - needed. She went through each and every one of it with a swallow, her chest up and a head held high as if it never affected her, never giving in to the tears. As far as she was concern, she had no tears.

She couldn't even remember the last time she cried.

"Looks like we've a got some lively ones on our hands eh, Emiko? People who usually come to me always seem to let themselves go until too far before they finally decide to see a doctor. But they carry themselves so well; I think it will only be regular check-ups for them in the near future."

"That's good ne."

"Yeah. If only other people would do the same then we wouldn't have to see so much pain and grief around us."

I swallowed the frown threatening to fill my face, giving my wife a meaningful look as I enclosed my left hand in her right. It wasn't easy having to watch my precious patients go through what they do because of the bad decisions they made during the course of their lives. I just wish it didn't have to come to that. Of all the possibilities that could have. If they could just come to me before it got so serious. That's all I ask. I'm not a miracle worker; I don't magically cure people completely of their illnesses. I have already embraced the fact years ago that I am only human and that I can only do what I am capable of. The rest is in Kami-sama's hands and I can only pray and pray and pray.

My sweet, sweet, Kaya. I couldn't do more than give her all the love I could give. Give her the best years of her life that I could have possibly given her. I only hope that it was enough. That she was content with what I had given to her. That she was as happy as she could be despite everything.

I know all this is only me doubting myself and that of course I should believe her every word but you just wonder sometimes. Kaya was the type that never caused trouble, never said a word that could in any way somehow hurt us or upset us. So sometimes -just sometimes- you wonder how much is she really holding back? How much is she really feeling?

Were we really enough?

Emiko squeezes my hand in understanding, caresses my cheek with her free hand and I give her a small smile. She always knew when and how to make me feel better even when I don't make it a habit to tell her my insecurities. She just knows and I can't help but to think to myself how lucky I am to have such a woman by my side. How lucky I am to have such a wonderful family. I give her a brief kiss, one she responded with those cute dimples I love so much about her.

"Honey, you are so beautiful even after all these years."

"Oh stop you."

With a playful sway I learnt from going ballroom dancing with my wife, I twirl her around with a hand on her waist as we make our way towards the living room, only letting her leave my side when she halfheartedly slaps me on the shoulder with her hand, laughing cheerfully. Suddenly it all stops and I can see her back stiffen.

"Ka-"

Her tilts head back and before I knew it I am by her side, holding onto her with all the strength I could muster with my –dare I say it- aged body, Natsuki shouting somewhere near me. It only took her a good 10 seconds to make her way beside me, providing relief for my rather shaky balance and together we carefully place her onto the ground. I felt another presence not too far behind me, a tingle notifying me by raised hairs on my arms. There was no time for me to turn my back to see what or who it was but it seemed to me that it had something to do with Natsuki because she seemed to give a quick shake of her head towards that direction before training her eyes on me for instructions. Checking her breathing and pulse, I told her the first sentence that crossed my mind,

"We need to get her to my office."

She quickly nods her understanding, hooking her elbows under my wife's shoulders, pulling her up and over her body as she squats down, lifting her in what we know as the fireman's carry. I would have done it if it weren't for my, you know, absence of youth which would mean that I would have surely caused more injury to myself and my wife if I took over the reins. Hey, I know we don't stay young forever but I sure do feel quite a teensy tiny bit upset that I couldn't do this for my Emiko. Sometimes you just got to swallow your pride and focus on what you really can do and not what you wished you could do.

The presence behind me doesn't follow us at all as we made our way to the other side of the house, back from where we came from just moments earlier. Passing through the door, Natsuki only grunts once, laying Emiko down onto the bed with as much care and gentleness that I have only seen when she was around my daughter. Propping her legs up, I carefully examined her.

"Darling, why did you suddenly faint?"

I say, letting the question hang in the air. It was mostly for me actually, but unlike the silence I was used to getting when asking questions to people who were unconscious, Natsuki seemed to have other ideas. I don't need to tell you that certainly my interest was piqued, if not a little shocked by the reply.

"Um, actually, I think I kind of know why she fainted. Well, I didn't really think that this would happen but I do get why she would. She is okay, right?"

I watch her as she paces back and forth in front of me.

"She is. Everything looks fine but I think that I should let her rest. Now, what is it that you are trying to say, ne?"

After wrapping my wife under the covers, I focus my attention on the woman I love as deeply as my own daughter, taking a seat on the chair right beside the bed to rest my feet; the past few minutes having taken a toll on me I hadn't realize until now. She tugs nervously at the collar of the shirt, clearing her throat as she does so, not exactly avoiding my eyes but not really able to stay quite still. A scratch is directed to the side of her head, her hands squeezing together and then just when she is about to say something, her voice comes out in a squeak and she stops.

"Don't be so fidgety. Take a deep breath and use all the time you need. I don't think I will bite you for any reason."

I wink at her and chuckles a bit although it still sounded quite nervous to me.

"Ya see, there's this person I know that really wants to meet you guys and the circumstances that led to this is really not something I would say 'normal', it's in fact very, very astonishing and it's not really unsurprising that Emiko-san would react the way she did because I do think that if I were in her shoes then I would have too but I didn't exactly do that when I met Shizuru so I don't really know, you know?"

"Natsuki, stop rambling. So you think it's your friend, this Shizuru, which made Emiko lose consciousness? What is it that you think might have caused this? It must have been very surprising."

"Heh. Heh. Hoah. I don't- I mean-"

She clears her throat yet again, biting her bottom lip before taking a glance towards the door.

"Um, I think maybe it's easier for me if I just show you though I don't know how you'll take it. You won't faint on me, would you? I guess if I didn't, there's a good chance you won't."

"But Emiko did."

"Yes, she did. Uh huh, yup."

A bout of silence consumes us as wait for her to take her move. She lets out a breath in an attempt to calm herself.

"Okay. I'll try to tell you. Maybe that will soften the blow."

Wringing her hands, she closes her eyes for a moment.

"I don't understand why I find it so hard to do this. It was so much easier with Mai and Nao. I think."

"It could be adrenaline in your system that's making you all jittery. Perhaps you should take a seat. Take all the time you need."

I ease her into the couch, taking a hand into mine and I could see her visibly relax. Taking my seat once again, this time by her side, I patiently wait for her to finally say what it was.

"Okay. Yes. My friend. Shizuru. She- she looks like Kaya. I mean absolutely, undeniably looks like Kaya. Her voice- oh. You'd be surprised. Yeah."

"I see."

"You sound like you don't believe me."

Her wide eyes looked into mine in disbelief but I do not respond. In fact, I think my face is frozen.

"…but your face doesn't say the same. Huh."

At first my head was a complete blank. I couldn't believe my ears let alone compute what was just being said to me. Then it just feels like my mind is buzzing all around. She looks like Kaya? Heck, even sounds like Kaya? Maybe Kami-sama is playing tricks with us. Or could this be another chance to get rid of my regrets? But I shouldn't get ahead of myself. Maybe this just a coincidence. A very damn perfectly timed coincidence.

"You mentioned she wanted to see us?"

"Oh right. Yeah. I should probably bring her in here. Give me a sec."

She leaves me in the room to go get her, sparing time for me to get myself together. Palming my face, I try to let as much of the shock as I could to leave my system. I know seeing her in person would just bring it all back if what Natsuki said was truly a reality but it would do me and her better if I was as calm as possible when I see this girl. From my position I would have to turn my head if I wanted to see whoever passed through the door, the couch having been placed towards the corner of the room on the same wall the door was located. That meant that I didn't have to see her unless I was absolutely ready to; not that I would be rude in not looking at her if she were to greet me first though. But I have a feeling that they would know to let me accustom myself first lest they want another unconscious person to deal with.

When the both of them walk in (the tapping of shoes with heels higher than mine ever would a clear sign) and I instinctively look towards the door way, my tongue is tied; my vision solely focused on the figure I miss so terribly.

I was seeing my daughter. My beautiful daughter. As much of a person who rarely cries as I am, the circumstances certainly make it harder to keep them all to myself. One look at her and I feel a tear crawl its way down my cheek. And I am speechless. But not as shock as I thought –as she thought- that I would be when seeing her in person.

I've seen my fair share of patients throughout my whole life; a share quite innumerable in my earlier years as a young doctor in one of the busiest hospitals in all of Japan and because of that I can honestly say that there are cases, sometimes, that you just meet people that bear similarities with each other. Sure, the timing she has is uncanny. The striking resemblance is too. But it's not impossible. At least that's what my brain is telling me. And that is probably why I'm not freaking out like a mad man right now as I think I should be when it looks like my daughter has come back from the dead – though I'm not saying she did; it just looks like it.

"Gokigenyou Arikawa-san, it very nice to meet you."

"Ah yes, gokigenyou, my dear. You can just call me Gensou. There is no need for formalities here. May I know your name, fair maiden?"

"It's Shizuru. Fujino Shizuru."

Wait, Fujino? As in Takashi and Aria Fujino? Huh. The coincidences just seem to keep piling up, don't they? And why didn't I notice it earlier that the nice couple did have quite the resemblance? Not exactly obvious but I should have picked up on it. I seriously don't know what to think at this point. Those two didn't even bat an eyelash when they saw the picture. Shizuka looks so very much like how her mother did. Why didn't they say anything? Could it be- No. Perhaps this is a private matter. It is not my place to assume.

"Is there something wrong?"

Oh no, I better fix my face. I'm letting my thoughts show.

"Ah, no. It's nothing. Why don't we all take a seat right here on the couch?"

Well, that didn't go as how I had planned. Not only did I not get any of the answers I wanted, I also seemed to have managed to come home with even more than before I met them or rather, one of them. But I'm sure Emiko-san would have given me the same replies that her husband did. Perhaps a gradual build of trust is needed. It did seem to me that he knew more than what he had let on. I believe that momentary pause at the sound of my name was anything but 'nothing'. From my experience, when people say 'it's nothing' it usually means that there is something; it just takes a little bit more prodding to get it out.

And meeting the awakened little mini wasn't a very pleasing encounter after such a somewhat fruitless endeavor and had only added to my displeasure. Surely I did not deserve the obvious cold shoulder towards me when our last encounter hadn't even been left to such heated terms? I admit it was tolerance at best but we were at least civil with each other the last time I checked.

To reject my very existence was very rude. I mean I could understand her not liking me because of what I had done to her mother during our first meeting. But that just now, I don't think I deserve it; her hiding her face away from me so violently and with such overly exaggerated reactions, not even bothering to acknowledge my greeting. I don't take well to being treated like that especially from someone who is probably only a fifth of my age and not even close to approaching half my height or even a small part of my prestige. And especially when I was being quite cordial too. Have I ever treated her badly? No, I do not think so. Therefore her attitude towards me is totally unwarranted.

There never was an ounce of hate or dislike within me towards the little girl but after this I could very well be approaching the beginning of it.

That is before I thought of how out of character it was for her to do so. Perhaps it is presumptuous of me to think like this when I barely even know her but I just have a feeling that that was not the usual little brat that liked to challenge me. Natsuki even said it herself that she was not acting like herself and I am inclined to believe her.

Why was I even bothered by this in the first place?

Sighing, I roll on my side over the soft covers of my bed. Immediately I could feel a sharp poking on the leg I am lying on and I roll back to my previous position, thrusting a hand into my pocket to pull out the offending object. Glinting under the artificial light, the earring I had picked up earlier in Gensou-san's office receives my full attention. There was something familiar about it that I couldn't seem, for the life of me, to recall.

Where have I seen this before? Think, Shizuru. Think.

Walking to my dresser, I lay it on top to look at it as I change into more comfortable clothes, searching my memories as I do. Taking my eyes off the gradually bothering sight before me (I hate it when I can't remember something that I know), I make my way to the attached bathroom to freshen up, splashing water all over my visibly tired face. I could use some sleep right now but I didn't want to spoil my routine. If I did go to bed at this hour, I would most likely be awake by 3am. I involuntarily cringed at the thought. If I did wake up at 3am, tomorrow would be a very long and exhausting day.

A snack may be what I need at this moment; some fruit might help those cogs in my head to move. So it is with this thought I brought myself out of the room, through the halls, down the stairs and straight to the kitchen. Grabbing a banana from the fruit basket, I sauntered into the living room, peeling it and taking a bite as I go. Choosing to pace around the room rather than taking a seat on sofas or the very inviting chaise longue (fighting the very urge to nap), I soon find myself by the fire place where our rather grand family portrait seemed to glare right down on me from where it hung.

I have never liked looking at photos of myself. It's just something that always bothered me but never made any sense. Every time I look at them I get this very empty feeling and sometimes a queasy moment passes through me; never enough to make me heave but definitely uncomfortable, and when you have that kind of reaction, you pretty much rather not see them. Looking at my own reflection in the mirror also sometimes produces the same effects so I usually avoid spending too long of a time in front of the mirror.

But there is one photo of myself that no matter how many times or how long I look at it I will never feel these effects. It is the only photo I have that has me below the age of five; a survivor of the fire that had disposed of all the rest that supposedly exists. Yes, there had been a fire many years ago. A great fire that was said to have burnt all of the pictures my parents had of me before the age of five- before we moved from here. That was not all it burnt seeing as it had happened in my room. My whole room had been burnt and my parents had to remodel the whole thing and replace everything. So basically not only have I lost my memories of my childhood before the age of five, I also seem to have nothing to remind me of that time. Except that photo of course, but it didn't have anything of significance inside; just an image of what I used to look like.

This photo, why was it so special I wonder?

Somewhere inside of me, I can't help the feeling that it isn't me in that photo. Perhaps it's that bright smile on the girl's face. Or the way her eyes seem to twinkle. I can't shake the feeling that it is not me. I feel so detached- so far away from it. Now that I think about it, it kind of reminds me of the picture Natsuki had showed me of her wife.

Skipping my gaze upwards and away from the part where my own portrait was, my eyes glide to the part where my parents were; their proud stance shining back at me. This portrait had only been made recently; when the both of them decided that they were going to live here permanently. I remember that day quite well because it had been their wedding anniversary and my father had brought the photographer with him as one of his gifts. His other gift was the unique one-of-a-kind pearl moon drop earrings my mother wore from that day on.

At the same time I focus my gaze upon the earrings on the portrait and thought of my father's gift, I suddenly realize such an idiot I was. That earring I found in Gensou-san's office and sitting on my dresser at this moment could only be my mother's.

That would mean my mother had been in his office.

Wait, the car I saw leaving their house!

It could've been my parent's as well.

How suspicious. It doesn't feel quite like a coincidence at all that they would have Gensou-san as their doctor. Especially when they already have an appointed one much closer to home. I know because I was the one that brought them to the doctor's office when they first moved in here. They hadn't even mention that they were going to visit a doctor to me when I asked about their plans for the day.

Are they hiding something from me?

When I finally came out of the rage from the thought, I find that I am not in the living room anymore. My feet had already taken me all the way to my parent's bedroom. With one look around, I notice they were not inside and before I can get myself out the door, my curiosity is taken by the small white paper-looking thing sticking out from one of their drawers.

The paper was calling out to me. Calling me to look at it.

The call was just too strong to ignore and in no time at all and without much effort (not even needing to open the drawer to pull it loose), I had it in my hands.

It was in fact a photo. With the words 'Shizuru and -' scribbled at the back. The other half was smudged.

And when I flipped it around to see what it was, I got the shock of my life that I could almost feel myself on the verge of fainting. I didn't but I was close to.

Looks like my parents have a lot of explaining to do.

They can't possibly deny of knowing of another person that looked like me.

Nor of having any photos of me when I was younger.

Especially when they have a picture of two kids who looked like they were a carbon copy of each other.