This chapter is a toughie for me. :S

Glad to see that people enjoyed the last chapter. Hopefully this one doesn't disappoint.

Thanks for the reviews. :)

Oh and,

Happy Birthday Natsuki!

Why was this little girl's name Shizuka?

Why did she look like her?

Why did she act like her?

Why did she remind them of her?

It had been painful to see her. To watch as her little red eyes sweep over them without an ounce of recognition. Without an ounce of the love and adoration they had always expected and waited to see from them. But they weren't her eyes were they? They weren't her lips, her hair, her nose, her hands, her legs, her heart;

Her anything.

Because it wasn't her.

The girl they lost all those years ago.

She wasn't her.

But it was like seeing her again. She had been around that age when she went missing. She even had the same name. Even her mannerisms were the same. Did time suddenly jump ahead where the girl was concerned? Did she just jump to the future from the time they lost her? They knew they were being silly as they thought it through but there seemed to be no explanation for this whole mess in their heads. What was more frustrating is that they had already reasoned that this girl was not the person they had been searching for but still there was no closure for them. No answers to the question they held onto for many, many years and even more than that, they can't seem to let it go; that that somewhere in their minds the answer was still there where the girl was.

Who is this girl Kuga Shizuka?

And how would knowing who she is lead them to what they were searching for?

They had meant to ask Dr. Gensou who her mother was but thought better of it. It was only their first time meeting the man and they didn't want to seem like they had ulterior motives for their visit but oh, the temptation was there. The questions were teetering on the edge of their lips and Takashi had to be the one to keep them in control, his hand squeezing just tightly enough to rein Aria in from saying something they both would regret later.

The information they had gotten from the private investigator had been unsatisfying at the least. While they had managed to uncover a bit of the woman's history and also a little of the girl, there still was a lot left to be desired. There was not much information on Arikawa Kaya; only where she had gone to school, who her parents were, her wife, her daughter. She never had a job. Never participated much in outdoor activities organized by the school, neighbourhood or the town committee. Never seemed to have made much friends outside of her very private circle. Not that she wasn't friendly; it was just that she kept to herself most of the time.

The one information they had gotten to which they wished they hadn't was of her death; of the confirmation that she was no longer within reach to ask. To tell. They had missed their chance. The only one with the full answers to the questions was no longer available. And if she turned out to be who they thought would be…they daren't think. That would mean they would never be able to see her once again.

To hold once again.

To beg and plea for her forgiveness.

To apologize for failing her.

To apologize for giving up on her.

They hadn't completely but did what was necessary to go on with their lives which definitely could not be put on hold. Time simply would not wait for them. There was always that tiny flicker of hope within them but with each day, month, year that passed, the heart grew heavier; it became harder to get up in the morning and face the sunlight outside their windows, knowing that she was out there and they could do nothing to get her back.

And so they learned to not think about it.

To push it away and focus on work.

To take away everything that reminded them of her.

And that had meant pushing Shizuru away until they could cope with the idea of even being in close proximity with their youngest child and be able to look in her eye without feeling that pain shoot through their systems as if they had just taken a bullet through the heart.

It was selfish, they knew.

Cowardice, even.

But it was the only way they knew how to stop hurting.

"What is this?"

Shizuru stared hard at them with what looked like the missing drawer from their bedroom. Silence met her question, the noticeable holding of breaths and remaining tight-lipped igniting her anger.

"What is all this?!"

A flick of her wrist is all it took to spill all of the contents spiraling onto the coffee table and spilling to the floor. Takashi could literally hear and feel the tears her wife was already letting go the moment she recognized the wooden box in her daughter's hands. Her head was buried in his chest as his hand lifted up to bury them in her hair to soothe her. Watching as his daughter breathed heavily, her grip on the box loosening until it fell to the carpet with a dull thud, he asked the question he wished he hadn't had to; the question he had feared for all the years they had kept the secret.

"Do you remember?"

It would be painful. Just like it had been painful for them. A hole would open up in her and nothing would fill it up.

She would never be the same again.

"A little…"

"She was my sister, wasn't she?"

Her voice had been so small, sounding a little afraid even. Very uncharacteristic of her. Especially with the anger she had displayed just seconds ago. Suddenly, he was reminded of the little girl she had been; the young Shizuru who had hid behind her sister with a sorry expression when she got into trouble and knew that there would be scolding.

"Yes."

He had a rueful smile on his lips, plucking a photo in between his fingers and staring at it with sad eyes.

"Missing just before her fifth birthday… Do you remember that day?"

"It had been a party… w- we were playing...hide-and-seek and then we were… running. I remember she was gasping for breath but just kept on running. Pushing on. And I fell."

Shizuru hadn't known she was crying until she felt the wet, salty tear touch her lips and as soon as she felt it, she stared at her hands, watching as the droplet travelled down to the palm of her hand.

"I fell and they caught up to us."

"They? Who were they?"

"I don't know."

"You didn't see them? Couldn't tell who they were? Had they been big? Small? Someone you knew? Strangers? Robbers?"

She was biting her lip at this point, her eyes shut tight as she shook her head with a vicious force, her hair whipping behind her.

"I don't- "

Her hands were balled into fists at her sides, turning white with the strength she put into them. The pain in her head was throbbing harder. Shizuru couldn't think much more than she already had on the subject. The memories, they only came to her in bits and pieces and she hadn't even given herself enough time to even process them. It had only been a half hour since she saw the photo. A half hour since she had realized she had a sister she obviously forgotten. Her brain was still scrambling to reclaim the pieces locked up deep, deep inside a place she never knew existed.

"It's okay."

It took awhile for her to notice but when she did it brought her to sobs. Somewhere between her struggle, her parents had left the couch to gather her in their arms, an attentive hand stroking her back to soothe her. They kissed her forehead, repeating over and over that it was okay. And when she had calmed down, she quietly excused herself and went straight to her room, curling under the covers.

She wanted silence.

No thoughts.

No pain.

Just a quiet silence in her head.

Even as bits and pieces, they were still too much.

Ever since Shizuka had woken from her dream, she has barely said a word. She was very quiet even with me. Her eyes would be drawn and her lips pulled tight in controlled contemplation every time I looked at her. Though, I don't think she even noticed I was watching her.

Her reaction towards Shizuru upon her wake was nothing short of surprising to me. I mean I always knew she was sort of wary towards her but the cold rejection she gave was almost pointing towards hatred. It was very uncharacteristic of her to answer congeniality with animosity and at the time, Shizuru was really making an effort to be friendly. Shizuka has never even been openly unfriendly as far as I know and this sort of behavior had baffled me to the point that I was rendered speechless. So when Shizuru left, it was with an apologetic expression did I grace her with whilst holding my daughter in my arms with her little head curled tight around my shoulder.

Shizuka's arms wouldn't let go of me and I had been forced to hold her until she relented when I was faced with the need to buckle her in the car so we could drive home. And when we did get home, she retreated to her room as soon as the door opened and before I could even utter a word, the lock was in place, blocking me from entering to her sanctuary. I didn't think shouting at her through the door was a thing I should even consider and she had never acted like this so reprimanding her was far from my mind when I went to the couch to sit and think. At this point, I figured she just needed some time to herself and I should wait for her to be comfortable enough to come to me because that is how she is; Shizuka usually knows when she has made a mistake and she will own up to it - but if she showed no signs of remorse later on, I would be sure to discipline her like a mother should.

As I sit there enveloped in silence, the blank stare of the television reflecting onto me, I am suddenly gripped with the overwhelming urge to visit my grandmother's house again.

But not right now, I couldn't.

Perhaps I can find some time tomorrow while Shizuka is at school. I doubt she would even like to follow me there if she knew who was at the other side… but maybe it would be a good opportunity for her to apologize. Would Shizuru be there though? She did say she also stayed at an apartment closer to the city.

Hmmm, I feel like going there alone anyway.

Just that, I think I need a private moment just to reminisce and also familiar myself with the garden I remember loving very much as a kid. Not to mention I have yet to check the inside of the house. Who knows what danger might be lurking in there? If I remember correctly, there haven't been any children visiting this house since my sister and I were there. So if there is anything that might be potentially hazardous to children, it would be best I check the house myself first.

But that might just be me being overly cautious. Actually, I think that I'm being quite paranoid with that thought. What would be potentially dangerous in there anyway? I doubt my grandmother or grandaunt would have a gun lying somewhere in the house. Or a knife hidden somewhere in her room. Or medicine strewn haphazardly on the living room table. Or furniture with sharp corners that could harm anyone. If anything, I think it should be safe as can be especially since an elderly woman was living there by herself.

However, I do know I'm going to seclude myself in my thoughts and also memories of the place and if I brought her with me, I might probably leave her all by herself and if anything were to happen while I wasn't watching her…I would never forgive myself.

Tomorrow came faster than I thought it would. One minute I was on the couch with my thoughts and the next I find myself sitting up with a pretty painful kink in my neck and an arm protesting from the odd angle I had put it during my unconsciousness. It took awhile for me to push through the fuzziness from my half asleep state but when I did, I notice the brown curls of my little Shizuka at one end of the room, leading towards the kitchen.

Coffee is placed on the low wooden table in front of me before I manage to utter a single word and I smile in thanks, kissing her cheek in greeting and then diving into the hot cup of java. She watches me as I swallow, her eyes moving down sometimes as she thinks of what she wants to say. It's a habit she has sometimes when she feels especially nervous; lowering her gaze to look at nothing at all and making it seem as if the space near her feet had something of interest. Still, she doesn't say anything at all even as I finish and she, avoiding my gaze, looks unprepared to share her thoughts so I leave it be.

Fully awake, my own gaze shoots to the clock and I stare as the short arm blaringly locks onto the 8 like a thorn on my side. The long arm is at 2 and now I know I only have 10 minutes to get presentable and get us out the door and on the road so that she may get to school on time and if the traffic is merciful, get there fast enough that a trip to a café for some sandwiches would do no harm. Luckily, Shizuka is all ready for the day. All I need is a quick trip to the bathroom and a change of clothes to leave the house without a thought that I may embarrass myself.

After expertly avoiding the harpies (aka parents of other children, particularly those of the PTA), I made my way to the office to catch up on some paperwork. Maria was there waiting for me as I strode past my secretary with a pastrami sandwich in between my teeth (I was really hungry!) and when I catch her eye, she gives me a look that sends a shiver through my spine and a hand that quickly snatches the mouthwatering delight away from my eager mouth. I stare forlornly at it before deciding to hell with it and stuff the rest into my mouth and walking quickly into my office.

Mid chew, Maria follows me in and waits for me to swallow first before flicking my forehead with her finger and I tell you, she manages to leave quite a lasting red impression there which I think still was there after I rubbed it for 3 minutes. The pain only lasted a few seconds but her glare did not disappear until I looked positively ashamed but I wasn't really; just a little terrified and feeling like a child under her scrutiny.

By lunch hour (usually when me tummy growls), the papers on my desk is mostly done. Having nothing else scheduled for the day and no meetings to attend to later in the day, I decide that I could go for that little trip to grandma's house seeing as I could not get it out of my mind since last night. I would have to slip out quietly though if I want to avoid another mishap with Maria. I don't think she would take kindly to me taking off early after the little thing this morning but if I manage to avoid her until tomorrow maybe she would have cooled down enough to let it slide – there's nothing much to complain with my paperwork all done. The only thing I'm doing wrong is not following the working hours… but aren't I the boss? I could do this! I do a lot of work at home too! So in a way aren't I balancing it out?

Bah, who cares? I'm just going to do this. Satisfy the craving. Feel a lot better.

I drive home after a quick lunch, changing to more comfortable clothes and exchanging the car for my bike. In no time at all, I pass through the familiar wooden gates, the engine from the metal monster under me grinding to a halt. My first move is to take the same steps as I did the first time, my feet already bringing me to the tree but I take a slower pace there, expanding my view of the garden by taking my time to smell and fully see the detail.

Sitting on the tree branch, I can't help but withdraw into my thoughts once again.

I wished I knew what Shizuka was thinking. It seemed like she was holding something in. Something big I can only imagine. Her hesitance to talk for so long makes it seem that way. While she never really was able to lie to me, she was always good at keeping secrets and her thoughts. Sometimes, I just know when she seems to be hiding from me but I could never pry it away from her clutches unless she lets me willingly. Other times, she is so good at hiding it that I only know when she has revealed it to me and I would kick myself for not noticing at all – well, only if it was something I should have known as her mother.

I sigh. Why are all the brunettes around me so damn secretive? So good at hiding their thoughts? So similar to one another?

Before I am conscious of it, my eyes are sweeping the lawn of my neighbour's house. There is no doubt to what I am looking for and as I realize this, my hand reaches to palm my face as I groan in frustration. I came here knowing that probably she wouldn't be here. She works just like me and this is not her only place to stay so the chances of her being here are really, really slim.

Yet, why am hoping for Shizuru to appear again over that fence like she did yesterday? This feeling is so confusing. I seem to be craving for her presence more than before and it is not just because I see my wife in her. Frankly, I don't even think it has anything to do with my wife at all and in a way that scares me. That I would…

What was that?

My senses are on alert, adrenaline suddenly pumping in my veins. A sound seems to be coming from somewhere way behind me. If it were from the place in front, I wouldn't have been so prickled but as it is not, I am a bit startled like an animal would if it sensed a predator approaching. I know there is a presence somewhere in this garden and I know not if it is just a lost critter on the property or someone committing unlawful acts; I am just reacting like anyone would to an unknown being that is trespassing on my tranquil space.

Swiftly, I look around and quietly alight from my perch on the tree. I crouch low and survey my situation, catching what looks like a boot covered foot sticking out from a crowd of shrubs and flowers.

Someone was here! Who could it be? A robber?!

Moving closer while not actually getting too close, a bunch of theories invade my thoughts; so many that when I hear a voice, I am more spooked than I should be and maybe not as quiet as I thought I was.

"Are you perhaps the new owner of this house?"

The soft welcoming voice, I realize, is that of an older woman. Her back is still facing towards me. A big straw hat sits firmly on her head and covers much of her long dark (almost to the point of looking blackish) brown hair. Her body is bent over a bed of daisies, her hands busy tending to them. She gave no indication that she had been talking at all when I study her profile but when I took too long to answer, she glances over her shoulder to look at me for a second.

"Y-eah. Who are you?"

"As you can see, I am tending to the garden. So that makes me the gardener, yes?"

"I did not hear from the lawyer anything about employees to the house… besides, apparently there has not been an occupant to this house for almost half a year. Who are you really?"

"Ara, I did not say I was an employee. I am merely a gardener who tends to this garden."

She laughs with a lilt that calms me and all thoughts of suspicions towards her seem to halt. There is something about her that warms to me. As she finally stands and turns to face me, my eyes go over her again to study her. She seemed petite, tiny even but looked like she could put up a fight. Just like mine, her hazel eyes are studying me closely as well; a certain glimmer cast onto her dazzling eyes.

"My, what a handsome woman we have here, I do see some resemblance!"

A warm smile is directed at me as she dusts her glove covered hands and carefully removed them. Putting them away in her back pocket, she then grabs hold of my cheeks and twists my head from side to side. I jumped at her actions initially but as soon as I realize what she was trying to do I relaxed in her hold. My gaze lowers and I notice absently the petal of what I think is an azalea caught onto the folds of her trousers – they seem to be too long for her figure.

"Which part does? I know I look like my mother but I have not heard how much of those traits were of my grandmother's family."

"You have her beautiful dark hair and her expressions. Did you know your grandmother was famous for her scowl?"

"So you knew Yori-sama?"

"We have met a few times years ago."

"Then why are you tending to her garden now?"

"Ah, I am also a friend of her sister, the previous owner of this house. I had been helping her with the garden and after her departure –bless her soul- I couldn't bear to let them wilt away. I know how important it was to the both of them. Their soul resides in this place."

A warmth crawled up into my chest by her words and I couldn't help the smile that filled my face.

"Thank you."

"The way you smile, it is very much like her"

Her brown hair is of a darker hue and her eyes much too brown to be red but her personality reminded me so much of my wife. How she used to lift my spirits just by talking to me. How much her voice seems to be able capture my full attention.

How with just her demeanour I feel at ease.

How I feel like I could trust her with anything.