Quick chapter. I know it's short but at the moment my assignments are glaring a hole at me to finish them, I just can't think.

How did we get here? It was supposed to be just a simple outing at the park; ice cream cones and a playground. A bench with you and me. Talking. Somehow in the course of our conversation we drifted so much closer- breath for breath, eyes drifting downwards to the pink, soft cushion we call lips.

I remember the taste of green tea on your tongue and the sweetness from the vanilla you had just before. The sensation...I found I still am so very much enamoured by you. Your lips on mine. Our tongues clashing in a sensual dance. Moans mixing in together in the background. It was like the world around us didn't exist and that you were the only thing in my mind.

I couldn't get enough of you.

Breathless, we pulled back. Our eyes connecting with fire in them. You were rubbing your thumb on my palm as I place my other hand on your cheek. This moment had been magical and all I wanted was the world to just freeze and let me savour it for as long as I could.

You know that niggling feeling that everything is too good to be true? I felt it then. I was so happy that I couldn't help but feel that something bad might happen to break it all apart.

It was the calm before the storm.

Suddenly your eyes are not on mine and your hand is gone. As I follow your line of sight I can feel the immediate reaction of my heart thundering in my chest because the expression on your face was dripping with trepidation and I couldn't for the life of me understand why it was.

Until I saw her and the expression on hers was far worse than what I felt with yours. My stomach dropped.

Shizuka.

My dear little precious girl.

I could feel my heart break into teeny tiny cracks and just about to burst into shattered unglueable, unfixable pieces. Frozen inside my own body, I watch as the despair upon her face almost morph into tears and she runs.

I remember looking at her turned back and thinking to myself, "Ah, I've finally done it. I've finally driven the last person who truly knows and loves me. My very own flesh and blood. She's finally seen my true value. The effin missing link as to why everything that has ever meant so much to me just up and left."

Until now, I still can't believe I just watched her go.

This is my biggest regret. I will never forgive myself and I hope she never does because I am undeserving of it. If you hadn't been there? Shizuka would be at where you are...or worse.

No, don't go there Natsuki. Shizuka is safe.

But...Shizuru. Shizuru, please don't go.

Please.

Beep.

She felt so drained. So lifeless.

Beep.

The last of her tears had already dried. Her face, sticky but she couldn't care less to get up and move. To leave this room.

Beep.

How long more must she live with the fear and pain of someone leaving her?

Beep.

Why must they always leave her?

Beep.

Would it be better if she lived on an island far, far away from people she would get attached to? Would that make the hurt go away? Would she be able to live peacefully once again? To a time of no worry?

Beep.

The heart wants what it wants but she wished she didn't have to go through with all of this. Over and over again.

Will it ever stop?

A dark chuckle overtakes her. She must be cursed or something. Maybe there was something about her that just turns people away or makes her unworthy of companionship. A deep connection. Funny how she laughs when all she feels like doing is sinking down into deep black water and never rise back up. She wants to cry but all her tears have already been shed and all that comes out is the little gasps of air that makes her seem all the more pathetic in her own eyes. She stares at the glass of water by the bedside but doesn't move; just stares.

SLAP!

The blow is so hard her head twists to the side. It is a surprise but she doesn't flinch from the touch. In fact she welcomes it- anything to distract her from the one throbbing inside of her. Her hand reaches up to palm her cheek in automatic response as is what her eye does, looking up towards her assailant- surprise registering in her features upon recognition. But who else would have done it anyway? And with such power-

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

She's quiet. Just as she has always been since the accident. Oddly, she feels comforted from the sting of the blow; the warmth from the blood rushing, soothing her nerves in a way. Also, she feels like this is something she deserves so it does not prompt her to retaliate nor did she feel compelled to return favor.

"What the hell were you thinking anyway?"

Both hands on her shoulders shook her, holding on like the talons of a hawk- she relishes in that it hurt as nails sunk into her skin. Blazing eyes on her despondent ones, it only takes a millisecond for her shy away from the intensity. Her head turns to other side, as if avoiding while presenting the other cheek to be slapped. Her questioner does not respond the way she wants.

"What about Shizuka?"

Surprise. That is what she feels when she notices the tears that drop to her lap. Suddenly she finds herself looking up again and scrambling to get them to stop. Now she feels even more guilty than before. Her hands rise to wipe them away but freezes at the last second as the heat from the skin reminds her that this level of intimacy for her is dangerous. She will not open herself up to hurt anymore. It is better to keep some distance. She will do the same to Shizuru too. Once she wakes up, Natsuki will leave her alone. If Shizuka is willing, she would bring her with her to wherever Natsuki decides to move to afterwards. But if she didn't want her anymore, there was nothing she could do. Somewhere inside of her, the tiny voice whispers that she knew this day would come.

She just didn't think it would be this soon.

'I told you so,' it continued to taunt.

Looking at Alyssa cry in front of her, the guilt that eats at her grows stronger. Still, the voice is stuck in her throat and the last of her will had long floated away seeing Shizuru unable to wake from her coma like the doctors said she would. It was supposed to be two days ago and yet, here she is still; a vegetable.

Konrad is nowhere to be seen. Spying the door way, she is relieved that there is no one else. Alyssa herself was hard to handle and she just didn't have the energy to feel like caring anymore.

What about Shizuka? What was there to say? She hadn't been thinking. She had let herself slip. She had let herself feel and not be guilty about it. But now she did. She wished she regretted doing it but try as she might, she couldn't. She would do it over and over again if no one stopped her. What she regretted was that she had let her daughter be open to the hurt and that had been selfish of her. Things could have gone better than it had and it was all her fault. Throwing caution to the wind was not as clear cut as it sounded.

Every action had a consequence and this time it might've cost her dearly.

Comments much appreciated. :)