I apologize in advance for the terrible fail.

Dude's a Chick

"So, who's this?" Poke.

"I haven't seen him before." Shy smile.

"Perhaps the new student." Push of the glasses.

"This here is Mashiro Riku!" Giant whack on the back.

"Guys, leave him alone." Sickening sympathetic glance.

The blue-haired hottie that had first poked me stood up straight. The soft looking blonde was glancing at me nervously with ruby eyes. The green haired smart looking person pushed his glasses up again. Souma grinned. Fujisaki was... I don't know. Looking like a nice person on his bed.

I shrank further into my hoodie, a tick mark evident on my forehead. I hated people surrounding me, and they were all pressed in a circle around me staring.

I fought the urge to shout, "Away, fuckers!" Instead, I attempted to glare from behind the sunglasses I wore. They didn't notice.

"He doesn't really like to talk." Fujisaki informed them helpfully, no doubt trying to get on my good side. I nodded.

"Oh, sorry." The blonde apologized. He held out a hand. "I'm Hotori Tadase." I smiled and shook his hand.

Blue-hair shrugged. "Tsukiyomi Ikuto. Nice to meet you." He didn't hold out his hand. I realized that he must be the upperclassman that harassed the pink haired T.A. I nodded in response.

"I'm Sanjou Kairi." Glasses nodded at me in acknowledgement, and I did the same.

"Wanna go shoot some hoops?" Souma asked in a friendly manner. I shook my head so vigorously that I fell over backwards. Fujisaki burst out laughing, but quickly covered it up.

"Not the athletic type?" Hotori asked, sympathetically. "Don't worry, you're not the only one." I was beginning to think he was the least guy-ish of them all. Not that that was a bad thing. Guys could be primitive.

"It'll be fun." Tsukiyomi raised his eyebrows. "You sure?"

I nodded, but Souma latched on to my arm and dragged me out of the room so fast I had to hold onto my hoodie and glasses to make sure they didn't fall off. He zoomed around at the speed of a car, pulling me along on the ground.

He arrived at the basketball court and dropped me, where I lay on the pavement, in shock and half dead. I glared as he grinned. "So you're playing, right?"

I opened my mouth to retort with a 'Hell no', but then remembered I couldn't talk. I settled for another invisible glare. He took this as a yes.

The other guys had caught up, and Fujisaki was bouncing a basketball and looking illegally attractive. I scowled.

"Riku! Catch!" Fujisaki passed the ball to me and I just barely snagged it with my fingers. Wait, who was on my team? Who do I throw it to now?! In a panic, I threw it back to Fujisaki, who was further up the court now.

The ball went all of two feet and plopped on the ground, rolling pathetically. Everyone stopped.

Awkward silence ensued. I could practically hear the dot dot dots.

"Dude, you throw like a girl!" Souma cracked up hard, doubled over laughing.

I am a girl, dumbass!

I hung my head in fake shame. I couldn't fake cry since I was supposed to be a guy, but I was still the master of making people feel sorry for me.

I fidgeted awkwardly, looking down and forcing myself to blush. Souma stopped laughing, eyes wide at my 'embarrassment'. "Oh, sorry, man. Maybe we should play soccer instead. "

I shook my head again, but apparently he never learned, because I got dragged over to the soccer field, the mud staining my hoodie. I shall kill you, Souma.

Things didn't get any better when Fujisaki offered a hand. I found that I couldn't get up, and grudgingly took it. It was surprisingly warm and soft. Ugh.

That's when a soccer ball hit me in the gut and I fell over again. Fujisaki looked alarmed. "Riku!"

I groaned and waved him off, getting up and dragging myself to the nurse's office. I couldn't take this exercise torture anymore.

Fujisaki tagged along annoyingly, a worried expression on his face. I shot him a look, but was too busy hurting to protest.

When I got into the nurse's office, she looked at me, eyebrows raised. She seemed to recognize me. "Out." She shooed Fujisaki away, and he reluctantly left. She turned to face me.

"Mashiro Rima?" She asked. I started, surprised she knew my name.

"Yes!" I answered voice hoarse from a few hours of not speaking. She nodded.

"Right. We've been informed of your situation. The Headmaster allows you to attend, but should the other students find out, there surely would be drama. That is why we ask you disguise yourself. I hope you understand. Now, where are you hurt?"

I showed her the forming bruise from the soccer ball. She clicked her tongue.

"Did Kukai injure you? He kicks really hard and whenever he plays, someone gets one of these marks. He's a good kid, though. Gets kind of carried away." I laughed, surprised that this was such an often occurrence that she could recognize Souma's kicks.

Speaking of which, she looked somehow familiar. I remembered Fujisaki's description of the T.A., Utau. The nurse looked slightly older than Kukai, with long blonde hair tied into pigtails and striking amethyst eyes.

"Are you Utau?" I asked as she applied some salve on the wound and wrapped it. She nodded without looking up.

"Oh. I heard you were a teacher assistant, though." She shrugged.

"I guess you could say that. I'm the nurse assistant. The nurse happens to be out today." She handed me an icepack and pulled my hoodie back down.

"I think Sou- Kukai likes you." I noted, watching her roll her eyes.

"You should see him staggering in here pretending to be sick all the time." She said, but I caught a faint smile on her lips.

"Lovesick, maybe." I smiled as I said that and she laughed.

"Well, you better get back to your dorm and take a shower to wash out the mud. Make sure no one sees you. You can keep the bandages on in the shower." She told me, ruffling my hair. Utau was pretty nice, and I decided I liked her.

I walked back to the dorm and peered in, glad to see that Fujisaki wasn't back, and neither were any of his friends. I quickly shed my disguise and went into the bathroom, taking off my tank and undergarments, putting them in a bag to wash later. I stowed the bag away where it wouldn't be found, turned on the shower, and hopped in.

As I finished toweling off, I realized that I forgot to bring clothes to change. I hadn't heard the door open, so I simply wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out into my room, rifling through the closet to pick out a pair of sweatpants and a large hoodie. I had just pulled out the hoodie when the door was flung open.

"Ikuto, I swear I will-" The girl stopped short, eyes fixed on me. Her mouth dropped open. I recognized her as Amu, the pink-haired T.A. Then she screamed.

I leaped forward and covered her mouth, simultaneously shutting the door with a foot. She stopped screaming as I let my hand go.

"Quiet!" I hissed. She nodded and whispered,

"Sorry, I was just surprised. But what are you doing here? You're not allowed here in the dorms unless you're a T.A or a student or teacher, but you can't be any of those."

"And why-" she peered into the bathroom, where the mirror was still foggy from my shower, "are you taking a shower here?"

I sighed. "It's a long story, but I actually am a student. I'm Mashiro Rima."

I explained to her the whole situation while I got dressed in the closet. Even if she was a girl, I didn't want to change in front of a stranger. I stepped out and pinned my wet hair up, then pulled the hood up and a pair of sunglasses on.

"So, yeah. Kind of weird, but here I am." I finished, plopping into my bed next to her. "Comments?"

She shrugged. "Well, it makes sense, I guess. Should I call you Riku around the others? Or do you prefer Mashiro?" I was feeling generous, so I let her call me Riku. She nodded, smiling.

"Your secret's safe with me, so you don't have to worry. I'm Hinamori Amu, by the way. You can call me Amu." I smiled back at her, relieved.

"So why were you looking for Tsukiyomi? This isn't his dorm." I asked curiously. It's evil Fujisaki's dorm. And mine, unfortunately.

She shrugged again. "He stuffed a perverted letter in my dorm mailbox. I was looking for him so I could beat him up, but he wasn't in his dorm. If he's not, then he's usually in Nagi's."

I nodded. That made sense, too. Earlier, they all seemed at home in this room.

She stood up and stretched. "I have to go for dinner soon, so I'll see you around. Bye, Rima!" She waved with a friendly smile.

"Bye, Amu. " I answered as she walked out the door.

I pulled out my laptop and surfed the Internet until dinner. Fujisaki knocked on the door to call me. I shut the laptop and pulled on a pair of sneakers, then walked out and fell into step next to Fujisaki. I attempted to lose him by walking slower, but he just adjusted his steps. I scowled.

"You're one strange-tempered guy." Fujisaki observed. "What did I do, man?"

I cringed at the way he addressed me like a male. This was so weird. I shook my head to indicate that I didn't want answer. He stopped walking.

"There's something off about you, Riku-san. What are you hiding?"

"..." There was a long, pregnant pause.

Then I bolted.

"Riku!" I faintly heard him call behind me, but didn't dare look back as I ran like hell.

I slowed and tried to look normal as I entered the dining area. Nobody paid me any attention, all milling around getting food or switching tables.

I saw Souma, Tsukiyomi, Sanjou, and Hotori at one table. Souma caught sight of me and waved me over. I reluctantly started in that direction when someone called my alter ego's name.

"Riku!" My head snapped towards the sound. Amu was waving at me from a table as well. Beside her sat Utau, and a brunette girl who was eating with gusto.

The guys looked shocked. Tsukiyomi glared at me. Souma looked kind of hurt.

I'll admit, I got scared. I slunk away to Amu's table so I wouldn't have to face the wrath or weird questions of the guys.

"Hey, Rima. Long time no see." Utau said playfully. I nodded, wishing I could talk. Then I remembered the paper pad and pen Fujisaki had given me.

"How do you guys know him? Isn't he new?" The brunette asked, her mouth full. She was cute and pretty in a happy, playful way. Utau was more of a serious beauty, and Amu was sweetly beautiful.

People had often told me that I was 'gorgeously elegant' 'cute as a doll' 'petitely beautiful' and more, but I couldn't imagine what I looked like now. Probably a gangster or a mugger. I shrunk in depression at the realization.

I wrote on the pad. Yes. I'm the new student, Mashiro Riku. You can just call me Riku. Utau took care of my wound earlier today, and I ran into Amu by accident.

She nodded as she read it. "That's cool! I'm Yuiki Yaya, but you can just call me Yaya!" She paused. "Wait, why did Utau-chan call you Rima?"

She said this last part rather loudly, and several people turned to look at us. Utau slapped a hand over Yaya's mouth. "My mistake. Sorry, Riku." It was clear that if Yaya were told my secret, she would accidentally mention it. I nodded emphatically. She pushed Utau's hand away and ate a couple more bites before responding.

"Oh, okay. Why don't you talk?" She asked curiously. I shrugged. I don't really like talking. I wrote.

She nodded again and dove back into her food. Amu, Utau, and I all sweat dropped. That was when Tsukiyomi stormed over to our table.

"Hey, how do you know Amu?" He snarled dangerously, and I shrank back in alarm and fear. Souma was right on his heels, looking like I had betrayed him. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Guys. Always making assumptions.

"None of your business, Ikuto." Amu snapped. Ikuto drew back, looking a little surprised. "Riku's our friend."

"Yeah, don't mess with him." Utau slung an arm around my shoulder, smirking as Souma winced.

I knew that they were trying to help, but they probably just made things worse. Only Yaya didn't seem to understand what was going on.

"I don't get it. Why is Ikuto so upset?" She asked innocently, tilting her head. I wanted to facepalm.

"Because he ditched us to go sit with a girl he knows I like." Ikuto said, not even looking embarrassed to admit it. Some people shot me looks, like 'Dude, that's not cool.'

I gritted my teeth. How dare this person humiliate me in front of everyone, and not even for a good reason? He didn't know the whole story at all. I grabbed the pad and wrote something, then shoved it in his face.

He threw it back at me without reading it. I glared and handed it to Amu so she could read it out loud. She cleared her throat.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry if this girl you like won't return your affections-" Her face reddened slightly and Ikuto looked ready to beat me up "-but that is no reason to come yelling at me like I did something wrong. I am sitting with people who want me to sit with them. You know nothing about me, or my friends, or my life. I suggest you take your head out of your ass long enough to move aside. Thanks."

I punctuated this statement by standing up and shoving past Tsukiyomi and Souma. They were too stunned to even stop me.

The entire cafeteria was in silence, actually. It was hard to keep the smug look off my face. My guess was that no guy had ever said anything like that to Tsukiyomi Ikuto, and I was the first.

I know, I'm technically not a guy, but you know.

Then, Utau cheered. "Well said, Riku! See you later, after we deal with these jackasses. You'll have to forgive my brother. He can be a douche sometimes. Right, Ikuto?" She asked cheerfully, punching him as she did. He moved backwards to avoid it.

Someone started laughing in the far corner. I looked over my shoulder and saw that it was Fujisaki. He smiled at Ikuto. "Sorry, but I think you got owned. By your sister and Riku."

Satisfied with these comments, I pushed open the door, as everyone remained silent. As soon as the door swung closed behind me, I could hear the cafeteria exploding with excited murmurs.

I laughed out loud for the first time in a while. That had felt impossibly good.

Stretching, I made my way back to the dorm.

I was on my laptop until about nine thirty. I was tired from all the soccer and basketball business, and Fujisaki was showering.

I still had on my disguise, and looked up naturally as I heard the bathroom door opened. I then wished I hadn't as I blushed massively.

As expected, he was shirtless, clad only in a pair of sweatpants. He was toweling off his hair, occasionally blinking innocently as water got into his eyes.

My god. He probably had girls falling all over him, but if they were blessed with the sight I was right now, they'd probably have nosebleeds for a consecutive week. I of course wouldn't fall to such masculine charms, but lesser beings quite possibly would be affected.

Don't ask why I'm blushing. Those are some nice abs, okay?!

Fujisaki looked at me, and I started panicking because he was walking closer. No! I don't want to be near your shirtless body! "Riku, are you okay? Your face is kind of red. "

I nodded urgently and made a 'come no closer' gesture. He stopped, looking confused.

I turned around to put my laptop away, using the time to compose myself. When I was certain my face color had returned to normal, I turned around to face him, my expression completely neutral. I stared defiantly at his toned body.

He chuckled. "Um, okay, then. Did you already shower, or can I brush my teeth?" I nodded and waved him off. He went back into the bathroom.

I wanted to let my hair out, then sleep with my head under the covers so he couldn't see. I took off my sunglasses and set about unpinning my bun. I probably had a couple of minutes.

I had just pulled the last pin out when I heard the door creaking open and footsteps. I froze, resisting the instinct to turn around. If he saw my face as well as my hair, I would be screwed. I immediately dove under my covers, wrapping myself so securely that I could barely breathe.

"R-Riku...?"

I didn't answer, instead trying to keep my movements to zero.

I heard footsteps and through the light filtering in the blanket, I saw a hand hovering over me. I braced myself for the worst, but then the hand moved away and I heard Fujisaki shuffling away to his own bed.

I breathed a small sigh of relief and made myself a bit more comfortable, with a tiny hole for air.

Trying to convince myself that I hadn't majorly screwed up, I drifted into sleep.

Faint voices filtered into my slumber, me only vaguely comprehending what they said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. That's why I'm asking you, Kukai!"

"Okay, okay. Repeat what you said."

"I don't really know what happened, but I saw Riku's hair. It was probably longer than half of him, blonde, and wavy. I ask you, what kind of guy has hair that long?"

"Uh..."

"Okay, bad question. I'm an exception. You know what I mean."

"I don't know, Nagi. Maybe he's just one of those foreign people with the curly blonde hair."

"Doesn't explain why it's long."

"Why is your hair long?"

"Seriously, stop. Besides, Riku got all flustered when I came out of the bathroom shirtless. And I don't think he's gay."

"Maybe he's just a prude, who knows?"

"Or maybe he's not a he at all."

"...Why don't we check?"

"What?"

"You know. Just lift up the blankets and get a better look at him. He can't possibly be wearing those sunglasses in his sleep, right?"

"I don't know. It feels kind of intrusive."

"Do you want to know or not?"

"...Fine. But if Riku gets mad, remember that it was your idea."

Footsteps, and suddenly, I was no longer warm and wrapped up.

I turned over, slowly prying open my eyes. I was greeted with two shocked teenage boys.

In Souma's hand dangled my blanket. There was a stunned silence. They both looked completely speechless, and I didn't really understand what was happening since I was still half asleep. My thoughts were somewhere in between "He took my fucking blanket" "Ohshitohshitohshit" and "Wait...what?"

He managed four words.

"Whoa, dude's a chick!"

"Yes, I'm a chick! Now give me back my fucking blanket!"

Of all the things Rima could've responded with xD

Anyways, this might become a bit longer than a threeshot. Perhaps four or five.

Thank you so much for your reviews! Any words, positive or negative, are greatly appreciated. Stay tuned! And of course, reivew :)

~Sea