Secret Keepers

Souma was so startled that he dropped the blanket. I yanked it back to me and completely wrapped myself, so I was a mountain of blanket.

I glared. "Okay, I'm a girl. Jerks."

Souma was still stuttering, but Fujisaki seemed to recover pretty quickly. "What are you doing here?"

I sighed. "It's a long story. What time is it, anyways? Eleven? Twelve? Souma's supposed to be in his dorm right now." I glared. He shrank back a bit.

"I'll tell you everything tomorrow. In the meantime, go back to your dorm before I find a teacher and sell you out." I told him. Fujisaki raised an eyebrow.

"Looking like that?" He asked, indicating my let down hair and no sunglasses. I glared at him, too.

"No, I'll put my disguise on and you can bet your sorry asses that you'll be regretful. Go!" Souma skittered backwards and gave Fujisaki a look. Then he started out the door.

"Oh, and Souma?" I called, as he was about to close the door. "You tell a single soul, and I'll make sure Utau will hate you forever."

His eyes widened as the door closed and I laid back down, a sense of satisfaction overwhelming me at his obvious helplessness. I hadn't lost my superior blackmail skills.

Fujisaki remained standing. "Brutal, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"What's your real name?" He asked, getting all up in my face. I flinched backwards at his invasion of personal space.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Get back on your bed, or I will kick you there." I answered, glaring. To his credit, he didn't flinch. He only gave a resigned, yet amused, expression and retreated to his bed.

I groaned inwardly. I had definitely screwed up. I just had to hope that Souma would keep his mouth shut out of fear, and Fujisaki would keep his mouth shut out of hope that he could be my friend.

My charms had better be working.

The next morning, (I hate that word. Morning. It's just like everything miserable and despairing in the world crashing down onto you in a wave of 'haha now you get to go to school'-ness. At seven. AM.) I was rudely shoved awake by Fujisaki, and I responded to his attempts by kicking him where it hurts. And then burrowing back into my blankets.

Can you tell I'm not really an early bird?

"That. Hurt." He choked out, but mercilessly yanked my blanket away. "I'm serious, Riku. You said you'd tell me the truth."

He put his face closer to mine when I refused to get up, curling into a ball. "And if you don't get up and tell me now, I'll tell everyone who you really are. I bet the school lets you stay if you don't cause drama, but if everyone knew, I'm sure everything would go crazy."

I pried open an eye and glared. "No one would believe you."

He held up his cellphone. "Not even if I have these?"

On his screen, there were pictures of my disguise. And then there was a shot of me sleeping without it, and my gender was painfully obvious. I shot up and grabbed for it, but he held it up out of reach. Curse my height.

"Stop, Fujisaki!" I snapped, panicking. "I said I'd tell, and I will. Give it!"

He smiled nicely. "Call me Nagihiko."

I scowled. "No."

He waved the phone threateningly and I glared. "Fine, Nagihiko. I have to say, you're surprisingly good at this. Have you ever bribed anyone else with pictures? Is that your profession?"

He chuckled. "Well, I did convince Amu to supervise one of our clubs with pictures of someone."

I huffed. "Whatever. Go sit in some far corner while I tell the story."

Instead, he sat next to me on the bed, waiting. I sighed when I realized that he wasn't going to leave. Where did I even start?

I decided to tell all of it. Every single thing that had led up to this point, so that he'd understand exactly how much I had been through. Too much for my secret to get messed up here.

"It started when I got kidnapped." Upon seeing his wide eyed expression, I quickly added, "Oh, that happened a long time ago. It wasn't recently."

I shifted so I was sitting next to him instead of facing him, looking right at the closet next to my bed. "I don't know what the kidnappers wanted, but I remember all the adults talking about how it was a shame I was so pretty because that's why the kidnappers took me. I don't really remember. I was really young then."

I swung my legs slightly, and debated on how to say the next part. I took a deep breath. "But my parents thought it was their fault. Only they didn't blame themselves, they blamed each other. That's when the fights started."

I paused. "There's no way to describe the hell that I went through for years after that. The wound never healed. They just kept fighting about everything. It was no longer about me. It was about them and the differences they had always had but never really thought about."

I looked over at him, surprised that he was listening intently and seriously. I continued. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran away from home. Needless to say, this started a whole lot of drama. But it made them realize how much they had hurt me, and they decided to get a divorce. That way, they wouldn't have to argue about everything."

"The last thing they fought about, just like the first thing, was me. My father planned on moving to Europe, and since the house isn't my mother's, she and I had nowhere to go. She doesn't have a job."

I considered more recent events. "We stayed at a friend's house for a few days, but she didn't have enough room for both of us. And we had to reimburse her somehow. So my mother went job hunting, and I came here."

"Because we couldn't both stay at her house, and I had to go to school, we decided on a boarding school for me. My father was to pay for it, because my mother didn't have any source of income. This was the only one in the area that he could afford."

I finished my story. "So I'm here. The headmaster said I could stay as long as no one found out I was a girl and made a big deal out of it. So please, don't tell anyone."

There was a silence, and then he nodded.

"What a story." He said softly. "I'm sorry. That must have been awful."

My chest tightened, like it always did when I thought about my ruined childhood. "Things are better now. But all I've ever wanted was for them to laugh. To be happy. I tried so hard, but they never did. They never were. That's why this is so important. I can't risk being found out and then having my mother deal with more complications. I've finally gotten a chance to make her smile." I whispered.

His answer surprised me. "Is it really too much to ask?"

"What?" I responded, confused. He shrugged.

"Is it really too much to ask to be happy? To want your loved ones to be happy? Sometimes, I think life is cruel. My father disappeared when I was little. My mother was heartbroken. Their families just could never come together and traditions got in the way of their love. It makes me wonder why love never works out right."

I didn't dislike Fujisaki Nagihiko so much anymore. He had suffered in much the same way I had. Perhaps there wasn't so much obvious on the surface, but inside, it hurt all the same.

"Thanks for keeping my secret." I mumbled. He smiled.

"It's all good. I'll tell Kukai the story, too. I'll tone it down a bit, since Kukai's never really experienced anything so bad. He's got nice parents, and four brothers that love him in their own way."

He was one of the lucky ones.

"Well, thanks anyways. Why are you doing this, though? Is it because you feel sorry for me?"

"It's because I know how it feels." He answered simply.

Looking at Nagihiko now, I realized he wasn't so perfect naturally. He probably became like that to try and fill the hole his father left. I don't know if I would've been able to do that.

I smiled inwardly before I shoved him off the bed. "I'm changing now. Go away."

He laughed. "Moment of bonding over?"

"Yes. Now go, before I kick you again." He winced at the reminder and walked out the door, having already changed into his clothes before he woke me up.

Absentmindedly pulling on my disguise, I was surprised to see a piece of paper slide suspiciously under the door. I stared at it for a long moment before yanking open the door to reveal Kukai crouched awkwardly on the floor, pushing the paper. We stopped and stared for a while, and then he quickly handed the note to me and ran away, looking embarrassed to be caught.

I unfolded the piece of paper to see a letter scrawled in messy handwriting.

Hey, I'm really sorry for everything. I would never drag a lady around on the ground, or kick a soccer ball into their gut. I wouldn't pull their blankets away, either. So I just wanted you to know that I understand why you sat with Utau and them, and I'll explain to Ikuto without telling him your secret. It'd be cool if we could be friends! Hope to see you back with the guys at breakfast.

P.S. You're not serious about Utau, right? Please don't make her hate me. She already hates me enough.

I laughed a little. So that's what it was about. It was obvious that he was smitten with the blonde nurse assistant, but I could also tell he meant his apology. "Guess I'll have to thank him for keeping my secret." An idea occurred. "And I have the perfect way to do it."

Breakfast, here I come. In sunglasses and a hoodie and guy jeans.

I miss my wardrobe.

I arrived in the mess hall and immediately located Nagihiko's table. After all, not many people had long violet hair. I also spotted Amu's bright pink head.

I first headed over to Amu's table. "It's a long story, but do you think we could sit with the guys today?"

Two girls simultaneously spit out their drinks. Only Yaya kept eating, undisturbed. "What?!" Amu and Utau chorused, looking shocked.

I sighed. "I told you, long story." I froze as I realized Yaya would hear my girl voice. Thankfully, she seemed too engaged in her pancakes to notice. I motioned at them.

Amu and Utau glanced at each other hesitantly, but followed as I walked over to Nagihiko's table. Yaya got up a few seconds later and ate while walking. Nagihiko saw us coming and waved.

The rest of them turned and Kukai's eyes noticeably widened. He shot me a look and I smirked, quirking my eyebrow. He grinned gratefully as I motioned for Utau to take the empty seat across from him.

She also gave me a look, but it was obvious she didn't mind it too much. Yaya sat down on her other side, next to the Sanjou kid.

Ikuto also glanced at me in surprise as I led Amu over. I turned so Amu couldn't see my face and gave him a suggestive expression. He understood, and moved aside. I took his seat, and Amu sat next to me. Then, he sat back down on the other side of her, causing her to blush.

Nagihiko happened to be seated next to me. He leaned over and whispered, "I can't believe you did that. Kukai's going to worship you and Ikuto might actually forgive you for that stunt yesterday."

I snickered and whispered back, "They'd better."

He laughed. "Pretty genius."

I nodded wisely, and dug into my food.

Yaya and Amu were assistants to two of my teachers, so I saw them both. Thankfully, I didn't have to go back to Utau's place.

Classes were okay by themselves, but made more fun by the endless class clowns. After all, it's a school full of boys. What do you expect?

After the day was over and free time came, I did my homework. Nagihiko ended up helping me with a few problems I didn't understand. Around the time I finished, everyone else had, too. Amu and Yaya had finished grading papers, and Utau wasn't needed any more for today. One by one, people started pouring into our dorm until the nine of us at the breakfast table were all having a get together of sorts on my bed.

Honestly, I did have to sleep on that thing.

I resisted the urge to shoo them off, because it probably didn't scream 'masculine'. I wouldn't really know, anyways. It's not exactly like I had a good male role model in my life.

Instead, I joined in the conversation with my paper and pen. They found that a bit amusing, but I didn't mind because it was making them laugh. Making them happy.

There was also another reason I couldn't hate Nagihiko now. I was no better. I could tell that he had a secret, and he was keeping them from his friends, but I was doing the exact same thing now. I couldn't despise him for that.

Amu was in the middle of telling a story. "And do you remember how Nade-chan just picked the fish up? Like no big deal, just holding a giant slimy fish over here. Sure stopped us in our tracks. And saved us the trouble of getting a bucket." She laughed for a second, but then looked kind of sad. I frowned.

Who's Nade? I asked on my paper.

"She's this girl that used to be a TA here. Nadeshiko came around the same time as Amu, before any of us really knew them. They were best friends." Hotori explained.

Were? I was probably being insensitive, but I was extremely curious now.

Utau sighed. "She just disappeared one day. Left a note that said she was going to Europe, and never came back. She didn't even say goodbye."

Amu heaved a sigh as well. "I just wish she would've told me."

What does she look like?

Everyone immediately pointed to Nagihiko, who seemed unfazed at the reaction. Before I could get really, really confused, Ikuto explained. "They're twins. Identical except for gender."

Kukai laughed. "I swear, tie up his hair and they could be the same person. Nade was fiercer and sweeter at the same time, though."

"Nagi came around the time Nade left. He used to be in Europe, and their mother decided for them to switch places!" Yaya told me excitedly.

Tie up his hair and they could be the same person...

I remembered what he had said this morning. "It's because I know how it feels."

Everything clicked into his place. Nade's disappearance and his arrival. Their uncanny resemblance. How 'she' could touch a fish without flinching. And what he had said.

He wasn't only talking about family problems. He also meant that he knew how it felt to cross dress.

Because he was Nadeshiko.

It seemed so painfully obvious to me that I wondered how the others didn't catch it. He had them completely and totally fooled. Maybe he was such a great actor that they believed in his two different personalities. Or maybe it just takes one to know one.

Whatever his methods, I was completely sure of it.

But why?

I didn't say anything. I was pretty sure that Nagihiko could tell I had figured it out, but he only gave me a slightly pleading glance. I didn't plan on exposing him. After all, he was keeping my secret for me. His wasn't mine to tell.

That didn't mean I didn't want answers, though. As soon as the last person left out the door, I slammed it shut and locked it, turning back to Nagihiko and whipping off my disguise.

"You're her, aren't you?" I asked quietly, burning with curiosity.

He nodded. "I saw you putting it all together. Thanks for not telling anyone. That would have been kind of a disaster."

"Why, though? Why would you pretend to be a girl, only to turn it all around and become a guy again?" I asked, sitting down. He sat next to me.

"Remember how I told you my parents' families' had differences and how traditions messed things up? Well, I was never meant to be a boy. My family on my mother's side has this tradition of dancing, something I could only hope to master by becoming a girl. Acting like one, dressing like one, learning dances like one."

He looked down, and I suddenly realized how awful that must've been. I was cross-dressing out of necessity. But he had been forced to because his family hadn't accepted him for him. Unwanted.

"I think it was also the reason my father left. He didn't want to be sucked into this strange tradition, this mess." He said thoughtfully. "But sometimes I would sneak out, as a boy. I'd play basketball with the other kids. Told them I was Nadeshiko's twin. One day, as Nadeshiko, I met Amu. We became best friends, but she never learned my secret. We came to this school as teacher assistants together."

I felt uneasy. "How long were you guys friends? The first day, you talked about her so casually, it seemed like you barely knew her."

He smiled. "I don't. Nadeshiko does. She was friends with Amu for about four years."

I nearly choked. "Four years? And you didn't even say goodbye in person? You didn't even tell her?"

He sighed. "I wonder how many people would accept me if they knew I once pretended to be a girl. One day, my mother told me that my dancing just couldn't improve, because no matter how much I tried, I was still a boy. She told me that I could be a boy again, provided that I say Nadeshiko went to Europe. She didn't want people knowing she had a cross dressing son, even though she forced me to do it."

He stared at me, eyes seeming to burn into mine. "I didn't want to hurt anyone, least of all Amu. But what was I to do? How could I not take this chance? Imagine if you were pretending to be someone you weren't all your life and suddenly, someone sets you free. Wouldn't you do the same?"

I understood what he meant. In that moment, when he made his choice, he had decided to be selfish. For once, he decided to care about himself, rather than others. Honestly, I would've done the same. He deserved to at least do something for himself just this once.

He looked down. "I decided not to say goodbye in person. I knew Amu wouldn't have let me leave. She would've followed me to the airport, and then she'd figure out that I wasn't actually going to Europe."

I swallowed. "You don't have to explain. It makes sense to me."

He laughed softly. "But those days… when I'd play basketball with the other boys in the neighborhood, and they'd say, 'Nice shot!' …Those days just made me so happy. That feeling of getting to be myself was the best. I wouldn't give it up for anything."

I looked to him. "I know what you mean. When I was younger, my family was perfect. They'd laugh and tell me I was funny. I couldn't get enough of their happy expressions. And when the fights started, there was nothing I could do to bring those smiles back. All I've ever wanted is to make people laugh."

He smiled at me. "I think you're a funny person, Riku."

"Rima. I'm Rima."

He looked at me thoughtfully. "Okay. Rima."

The pure honesty of the whole conversation suddenly came crashing down on me and I couldn't look him in the eyes. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so close to someone, emotionally. I couldn't stand it somehow.

No one would get past my barrier. That was my only rule.

Nagihiko, with his understanding of my pain, was seriously close to breaching that wall.

"I'm going to shower." I said abruptly, standing up. He looked confused, but I stood up and grabbed some clothes, and ran into the bathroom.

Later, after he had showered as well, I hunkered down in my warm blankets, fatigued.

"Hey, Rima?" I heard him say.

"What?"

"Thanks."

"I didn't do anything." I closed my eyes.

"Thanks for making me smile."

This chapter wasn't so funny and happy, and there's a lot of explaining, but it was absolutely necessary for character development, and of course, Rimahiko development!

Kicking myself for not working on AMI, but you know. I lied. This will definitely go beyond a threeshot.

Stay tuned, and review!

~Sea