Disclaimer: I don't own it just like I don't own a unicorn. Probably never gonna happen for the both of them.

As I'm left speechless and internally freaking out, a car pulls up in my driveway. Shit. I mentally curse to myself. It's my dad. When your dad constantly hates you, there's no way you're going to turn out normal. We hardly ever speak to each other. We don't get along. We never have. I don't really care though. I gradually gave up on trying to please people. There's no use if they just hurt you in the end anyway, right?

He's so not going to find out that Cat and I kissed. He can't know. That was close. I can't take his criticism. I definitely don't want him calling me a dyke. Yeah, no fucking way I want to be labeled like that. He doesn't need to know. It was a one-time thing. That's it. I usually avoid him and stay at Beck's, but I'm not with Beck anymore.

"Oh my god, it's a mysterious van!"

Ugh. How can she joke at a time like this? I can't take it. Everything is too much. It's like the kiss wasn't even a big deal to her. Maybe I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of it, but seriously? What was Cat thinking? Nothing. Maybe that's it. She doesn't think. I told her candy wouldn't help, so she kissed me. Great solution. Yeah, right. All she was doing was trying to make me feel better, trying to cheer me up. That's what I keep trying to tell myself. There's not anymore to it. It's not like she has any feelings for me at all. I doubt she would. We're completely different people. It won't get out though. It'll stay between us. I'll make sure of it. Nobody has to know.

"Cat, this isn't an episode of Scooby Doo. It's just my dad."

"Dang it."

My dad parks the car. He gets out. I want him to leave, but he won't do that. He usually doesn't come home this late. Great. Perfect timing. What a joke. He doesn't know whom I hang out with. It's none of his business. We don't relate to each other. I can't relate to him at all. Well, we're both cold. I guess that's something. Not like I care. He never showed much affection towards me anyway. Man, I fucking hate people.

"Dad. I didn't think you would be home."

"Who's that? I didn't think you could make friends. I thought most of them found you a demonic spawn of Satan, so to speak."

Wow. So my dad's an ass to me when I don't make friends and when I do make friends. Gotta love parents, huh? Yeah, right.

"That's Cat. I can make friends, y'know. You sure do put humor into everything. Haven't received many compliments from you in a while."

It's different when I'm with Cat. She's sweet. I hate sweet. I'm bitter. I can't change. But Cat's different. Sure, she doesn't give me those crazy feelings like Beck does, but I could use a distraction. I could use her. After all, how long do Tori and Beck think they can last together? They're not the perfect couple.

He looks at Cat. "I think it would be best if your friend left."

"I'm going to Cat's. You can't tell me what to do when we hardly speak to each other in the first place, okay? You won't have me around. Consider yourself lucky. Bye, Dad. Let's go, Cat."

"'Kay 'kay. Bye, sir!"

He doesn't stop me. I get my keys and grab Cat by the arm, sprinting with her toward my car. I'm furious. It's happening all over again. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Man, I fucking hate having emotions. I don't know how to deal with them. I'm so upset. I wish the world would just go away. Why can't I get anything right? I don't know how to fix myself, especially when I don't even know what to fix. I keep telling myself that I should be with Beck, because that's the truth. I should be with him. But I'm not. Tori's with him instead. I blew it again. It's so different. It's unbearable. Cat's with me. Not Tori. Tori isn't here because she's the problem. She's what started this mess. I blame her, but maybe that's unfair. I don't know. I don't know what would've happened if I didn't act the way I do. I can't help it. Does he love her? God, I really hope not. My heart sinks at the thought.

"He seemed nice!"

Nice? Hardly.

I scoff. "Yeah, well he hates me."

Deep down, I don't want anybody. I know I don't need anybody, but maybe I'm lying to myself. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Why am I so stupid?! I should've stayed heartless to everybody just like my dad. Maybe that would've made things easier on me. But I know I can't shut everybody out. It's impossible. So that's why I'm with Cat, I guess.

Cat tilts her head, almost as if she's observing me. "You okay?"

I take a deep breath. "No," I say, harsher than I intended as I turn the wheel. "I'm not okay at all. My dad hates me. He thinks I'm a loser. He thinks everything I do is stupid. I don't even know what the hell I did wrong. I know I'm not nice, but I try to control my temper when I'm around Beck. God. Tori better just watch it, you know what I mean?"

Well, at least I blew off some steam.

Cat chews on her lip. "I'm confused."

I let out an irritated sigh. "Forget it. I'm staying at your place tonight, okay?"

"'Kay 'kay." Says Cat quietly.

Maybe Cat really is just as clueless as I thought. Maybe. Maybe not. It's hard to tell. But I've never been too terribly mean to her like anybody else. Besides, who else could I go to? I mean, I could be crying my eyes out at home, but I'm with Cat instead. Crying is weak, so I try not to do it. Cat's like my only friend. I barely have any friends. I should've kept it that way. I didn't need anybody, so why did I keep going back to Beck? I'm totally in love with him. But I'm hurt, and it's so damn hard to hide it. Why can't I seem to stabilize myself? I'm not stable. I'm hurt. I can't change how I act. I literally can't. I wish people would just learn to deal with me, but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen.

I pull up into Cat's driveway, turning off the car. Is it worth making a scene in front of Cat?