Episode tag for "Chained." Part III. And yes, there will be a Part IV which will be the last part, and hopefully best part, of this very long tag.

And just so you know, I also know nothing about psychiatry.

"Doubt – Part III"

The Anthony DiNozzo who arrived for work at NCIS headquarters the next morning provided a sharp contrast to the one who had left the bullpen on the previous day.

Every sharp edge had been smoothed over. He was impeccably dressed in a suit and tie, topped off with his aforementioned $500 pair of Salvatore Ferragamos that he had never actually worn to work before. But, if he was going to be relegated to desk duty all day, knowing he wouldn't be chasing any suspects through mud puddles, and was going to be forced to also have his head shrunk, well, at least he was going to look good doing it. And even if he himself was the one who had to say it aloud, he looked good.

The stubble was gone, as were the angry red streaks across his eyes. He'd removed the bandage from his neck, leaving only a trace of the sole reminder on his person of the ordeal he'd endured the previous day: a small red cut on the side of his neck. He was wearing his 1000-watt smile again, hoping it would put the finishing touches on his look and distract attention from the cut.

As he walked into the bullpen, he could feel every set of eyes in the room on him. Not just his own teammates' eyes, either. Everyone.

Gibbs had only told Kate and McGee half of the details on the previous day. They'd thought the "desk duty" assignment was simply to give their coworker a break from the action, just long enough to get his head together. Himself. Perhaps with the help of some Chinese takeout, practical jokes, maybe a side of flirting thrown in. It wasn't until the psychiatrist, Dr. Newton, had arrived earlier that morning that the tongues of the Navy Yard had really begun wagging.

First, the unrecognized, balding, middle-aged man in the grey suit wearing the Visitor badge had arrived looking lost and asking for Director Morrow. Kate, still ignorant of the reason for the man's presence, had confronted him with, "I'm sorry, is the Director expecting you?"

"Yes. Please tell him Doctor Newton is here."

Kate stood there looking puzzled when Gibbs had walked in. He'd studied the man closely before extending his hand. "Agent Gibbs. I'll tell the Director you're here."

McGee, as usual, sat in silent confusion, but Kate began to put the pieces together. If a "doctor" was visiting them, it was likely a psychiatrist. Besides, the man gave off that "vibe," and her sister shared in the profession, after all. Given what her partner had been through in the past couple of days and the fact that he'd been unexpectedly relegated to desk duty, all the signs pointed to one thing.

After the Director had escorted the other man upstairs, Kate had confronted her boss. "He's a psychiatrist, isn't he? Tony has to pass a psych eval."

"Nothin' to worry about, Kate. Routine. DiNozzo's been through them before. So have you."

McGee piped in just a little too loudly. "Tony has to talk to a psychiatrist? Is something wrong with him?"

It was just loud enough to draw the attention of the new female agent across the room. The one Tony had been flirting with shamelessly, to no avail. Her eyes widened momentarily until Gibbs caught her staring and gave her an icy cold glare. She quickly turned away, but couldn't resist the urge to whisper something to her more senior partner.

Gibbs turned his attention, and his glare, back to his Probie agent. "There's nothing wrong with Agent DiNozzo. Just a precaution. And I suggest you not look at him like that when he gets here, Agent McGee. Unless you enjoy carrying around your keyboard stuck to your fingers."

McGee looked appropriately uncomfortable and quickly turned back to whatever he'd been pretending to work on. Nothing else had been said on the matter since.

Now Tony was walking to his desk sensing the whispers around him and realizing the cat had somehow been let out of the bag. He couldn't blame anyone, really. He'd be curious, too, were it another of his coworkers. Besides, most everyone at NCIS already believed he was slightly off his rocker, anyway. The only opinions that really mattered to him were those of his boss and his teammates. And, of course, the Director, without whose stamp of approval he couldn't go back to field duty. That's why his performance today had to be flawless.

Ignoring the stares and the whispers, Tony casually strolled to his desk and presented a somewhat subdued greeting. "Morning, Boss. Kate. Probie."

The Probie was looking unusually guilty. Come to think of it, he was looking awfully guilty yesterday, too. When this is over, I'm gonna have to find out what's up with that.

Gibbs greeted the younger man with his usual silent nod, though his gaze lingered a bit longer than usual. Tony had put great effort into his outward appearance, exactly as his boss had expected him to.

Kate's stare of pity was the one making him most uncomfortable. So he baited her. "You're here nice and early, Kate. Things not going so well between you and…what's his name again? Harrison? Sounds like an attorney."

"Things are fine with us, Tony. Thanks for asking." She'd figured out exactly what he was trying to do. Deflect. There were several things she was beginning to decipher about her partner lately. "You look nice today. Glad to see you got some rest yesterday."

Tony hadn't been expecting the sincere response but his reflexes were even sharper than usual. He came back quickly with, "Slept like a baby." Rubbing his hands together he said with faux excitement, "All ready to tackle those cold cases. Bring 'em on!"

Gibbs was wearing a slightly bemused expression which was interrupted when his phone rang. "Gibbs….Yes, sir…Yes, I'll send him over."

He caught Tony's eye and nodded down the hall. "Conference room, DiNozzo."

If the younger man's smile faltered, it was barely perceptible. "On it, Boss!" he exclaimed with an assurance he didn't feel.

"Agent DiNozzo, I presume?" the slight, middle-aged man asked, standing up and politely extending his hand.

Smile. But not too big. "Yes. Call me Tony. Please." Firm, confident handshake.

"Tony, I'm Doctor Newton. Very pleased to meet you. Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question? Since I work here and you're the guest?" Tony quipped. Too bad it's not a woman. But I guess that would've been too easy.

"Touche. The Director told me you had quite the sense of humor."

Well that's interesting. I didn't realize Morrow even had a sense of humor. "I try. I'm glad to hear the Director appreciates it."

"Tony, I'm sure you know why we're here so I'm not going to play games or dance around the issue. I understand you've just completed a very tough undercover assignment and that things didn't go according to plan. While I've been called in to do an evaluation, I'd like to assure you that nothing you tell me will leave this room."

No, of course not. You're just going to tell the Director if I'm still sane enough to do my job or not. "I appreciate that, Doctor."

"So why don't we begin by you telling me briefly what happened?"

Like you don't already know. "Well, we were trying to find a suspect's accomplice who was in possession of some stolen goods that we believed he was trying to sell. The guy in custody wouldn't talk, so I went undercover as a fellow prisoner who escaped with him and tried to get him to lead me to the goods and his accomplice. Which he did, by the way. But my team sort of lost track of me due to some unfortunate circumstances, and it turned out that the guy I 'escaped' with was a serial killer. He pulled out a knife and tried to kill me, so I was forced to shoot him." Nice and calm, Tony.

"I see. And what was the suspect's name?"

"Which one?' Tony asked nonchalantly.

"The one you were forced to shoot. I assume he's deceased?"

Deceased. Nice. Sounds so harmless. "His name was Jeffrey White. And yes he's….deceased." And how do you feel about that, Agent DiNozzo?

"That was a pretty gutsy assignment. Whose idea was it?"

Guess he's saving the 'how do you feel' question for later. "Mine. We were in a time crunch and we needed to get the info before the goods disappeared. Statistically, we only had 24-48 hours before that would have happened." Owe you one, Probie.

"Obviously, I looked at your file before our meeting today. You're quite experienced at undercover work, Tony. You enjoy it?"

Tony's eyes narrowed just the tiniest bit. What angle is he taking here? "I suppose so. It's something different. Maybe I get bored easily. Most agents crave a certain amount of excitement. We don't like being stuck behind a desk all day." Hopefully you can take a hint.

"You seem to be particularly adept at it. Why do you think that is?"

I get it now. You want to know why I enjoy pretending to be somebody else. "Everyone has their strengths. Mine happens to be undercover work. I also like movies. Guess I like the challenge of getting into other peoples' heads. I'm sure you can relate to that. Doctor." Score one for DiNozzo.

Doctor Newton smiled knowingly. "You've been on some pretty tough undercover assignments before. This isn't the first one that didn't work out quite as planned. You ever feel any hesitation about doing the undercover work?"

He's done his homework. Good thing I was prepared. "I can see you've studied my pre-NCIS work history. I'm sure you know what happened in Philadelphia. But I've done a lot of undercover work since then. And mostly been successful. I was able to infiltrate the Macaluso family in Baltimore and I've been on several undercover assignments since joining NCIS. So if there were any….hesitation…as I believe you called it – it would have come up long before now."

"But you came very close to losing your life this time. Doesn't that give you pause?"

As opposed to what? All the other times I could say I came close to losing my life? "We risk our lives every day. Things frequently don't work out exactly as planned. I'm well aware of the risks. Though I do trust my team implicitly and that helps a lot."

"Even though they lost track of you?"

Smooth. Trying to catch me by surprise. "That's a matter of perspective, really. I mean, you could say I was the one who lost track of them."

"How did that happen, anyway?"

So far the interview had been relatively easy, but Tony now recognized they were entering shaky territory. "Jeffrey White sabotaged my tracking devices. He was brilliant at playing the bumbling, down-on-his-luck guy. He was clumsy, jumpy, neurotic. He tripped and dragged us through a stream and then he wrecked our truck."

"And you believed him."

In other words, you think I'm an idiot. "He was good. Really good. Seattle PD had his partner pegged with committing those murders. And even his partner told me White was 'easily manipulated.'" Tony sounded very convincing. He almost even managed to convince himself that Jeffrey White was a regular Laurence Olivier.

"So you never had even a hint that something wasn't quite right with Jeffrey White?"

A hint? Nothing was "quite right" about Jeffrey White. Or this whole assignment. "I was more focused on his accomplice. Lane Danielson seemed like the bigger threat."

"So you let your guard down with Jeffrey White."

Stay calm, DiNozzo. He's trying to make you angry. "I never let my guard down undercover, sir. I didn't believe Jeffrey White to be as much of a threat, but that doesn't mean I trusted him."

"How did you feel when you realized he was going to kill you?"

There it is. "I didn't exactly have a whole lot of time to think about it. I defended myself. I did what I've been trained to do."

"Fair enough. How did you feel after it was over?"

Tony had been rehearsing his answer to that question since the night before. He made a great effort to look serious and thoughtful, taking a long, dramatic pause before answering. Then he said pensively, "It's a difficult thing to take a life. No matter how many times you have to do it. I spent a couple of days with the guy. Of course I didn't feel happy about it. But I did what I had to do. And I'd do it again. I suspect the families of his three victims, no excuse me, four victims if you include his accomplice, would agree."

Dr. Newton studied Tony quietly for a long moment.

Now he's trying to make me squirm. Make me keep talking 'til I say something I didn't mean to. Tony maintained eye contact but added nothing. If he appeared a little smug, certainly he'd earned the right.

"You mentioned that you never let your guard down undercover, Tony. What about outside of work. Do you ever let your guard down?"

"What makes you think I have it up now?" Tony asked innocently.

Doctor Newton was silent again for a moment before closing the file in front of him, scooting his chair back and standing. He extended his hand once again and said, "Agent DiNozzo, enjoyed meeting you. I'll let you get back to work now. My report will be to the Director by the end of the day."

That's it? Tony was trying to determine if that was a good sign or a bad one. But he pasted back on the smile. "Thanks, Doc. You know, you're not so bad. I've always thought psychiatrists had a bad rap, personally."

"Well, Doctor Newton, what's the verdict?" Tom Morrow asked with interest, secretly hoping for good news. While he was genuinely concerned for DiNozzo's wellbeing, he also selfishly dreaded dealing with Gibbs if he had to tell him he couldn't have his agent back just yet.

"Agent DiNozzo makes for an interesting patient, Tom."

"Knowing what I do about Agent DiNozzo, that really doesn't surprise me," Morrow said with a slight laugh. There had scarcely been a dull moment around the Navy Yard since Tony had started three years ago.

"I'm guessing he's been through a few evaluations before?"

"DiNozzo seems to attract trouble sometimes. Not his fault, but he's been in some highly unusual situations."

"Yes, I noticed that from his file. But that wasn't exactly what I meant. He was very well-rehearsed. Gave me exactly what he thought I wanted to hear."

"I see. So what does that mean going forward?"

"In spite of the fact that he mostly stonewalled me, I was able to pick up on a few things. First, I can certainly see why DiNozzo is chosen so often to do undercover work. And I truly believe his willingness to continue taking those types of assignments hasn't been hampered by past experiences, including this one."

"What about his fitness for duty?"

"I see no reason to not clear him for field duty. Which isn't the same thing as saying that I don't think there are any underlying issues you understand. Just that I think Agent DiNozzo is still perfectly capable of working around them to still do his job quite capably. He certainly managed to work around me."

"Both he and his supervisor will be very relieved to hear that. As am I. Any recommendations going forward?"

"Agent DiNozzo shows a great deal of faith in his team. That doesn't seem to have been dampened by any of his past experiences either. Since he obviously doesn't trust the psychiatric profession and doesn't seem to have close family ties, it's a plus that he has some other form of support system. Of course there is always the risk of having that trust broken, and were that to occur it could become quite an issue for Agent DiNozzo. I would also recommend exercising caution with the undercover work. While your agent is both eager and talented at it, I have some concern about his ability to remain detached from it, as I would with any agent exposed to spending long periods of time working undercover. In other words, I'm recommending he be cleared for full duty, but it would be wise to keep an eye on the situation."

"I appreciate your assistance, as always, Doctor Newman. I trust I can always call on you in the future."

"Call on me anytime, Tom. Although I suspect your agents are never as pleased to see me as you are."

Gibbs felt a huge portion of the weight lifted from his shoulders at the news, though not the entire load.

"DiNozzo isn't entirely out of the woods, you know Jethro. The Doctor still felt it wise to keep an eye on him. He said Tony was cleared for field work, not that he was one hundred percent fine," the Director warned.

"I realize that, sir. I'll keep an eye on him, believe me." He's not out of the woods with me yet, either.

"Yes, I believe you will," Director Morrow replied, satisfied.

"Well, Boss?" Tony asked expectantly.

"Well, DiNozzo. You better show up tomorrow ready to work your butt off, cause you're back on field work."

His agent smiled the first genuine smile he'd seen in days. "I knew it! Thanks, Boss. You know I hate desk duty."

"I hope you remember what I said. You may have gotten by the shrink, but you don't fool me."

Tony stared at the bottle and glass in front of him on his coffee table watching the events of the past few days play through his mind like scenes from a movie. He should be feeling pretty good right now, he realized. Instead, the doubt had crept back in.

How did I miss all those signs that Jeffrey wasn't who he appeared to be? Why did I feel so compelled to help him? Why did I wait so long? Long enough to let him get a piece of me with his knife…

He poured the golden liquid into the glass, picked it up, and studied it. If he'd ever needed the promised escape found in that bottle, it was right now.

He really wanted to take a drink, but something stopped him.

It was a memory. A fuzzy one. More of a feeling, really. A feeling of warmth and safety. Trust without judgment.

He wanted to feel that way again more than anything. For that to happen, he'd have to return to the place where he'd felt it to begin with.

That would mean leaving behind the refuge found in that bottle. Which one to choose?

Abruptly, he jumped up and took the bottle over to the sink, pouring every last drop of the contents down the drain. Then he grabbed his keys and rushed out of his apartment, pausing only to lock the door.

There was someplace else he really needed to be tonight.

To be continued…