Chapter 3

A Lesson in Avoiding Scandal

The sound of water running on the other side of the half-closed door was tranquilizing. Thundercracker couldn't pinpoint exactly why; everything surrounding him was bizarre, not to mention alien, but he also felt a strange sense of comfort, now that the cold and the immediate danger were gone.

"Do you want me to bring you some aspirins too?" he heard Ada saying from outside the room.

"No, thank you," he replied instinctively, not looking forward to introducing strange substances into his fuel lines.

He could hear the human female gathering whatever supplies she would use to repair them, so Thundercracker made good use of the privacy to enter the cleaning room. Skywarp was standing in front of a mirror, scrutinizing his face.

"Frag…" he said, noticing his wingmate's arrival. "You really did a number on my face, slagger. See all this vital fuel coming from my nose? Why the slag did you hit me? You never hit me! Not even when I painted myself in your colors and told the Stunticons that they looked like Autobot travesties."

"You'll survive," Thundercracker growled, repressing the need to beat the slag out of Skywarp. "That is, of course, unless you keep opening your mouth so recklessly. Are you sure that being transformed into a non-flying organic didn't remove your processor, Skywarp? What the frag did you think you were doing telling that human who and what we are?"

Skywarp looked at him as if he didn't know what he was talking about. "What do you mean? I didn't tell her anything."

"You almost told her everything, you idiot! If I hadn't stopped you, you would have told her our real denominations, not to mention that we are Decepticon Seekers turned into human germs thanks to some experimental water!"

Skywarp shrugged his shoulders as he cleaned the red vital fluid coming from his nose with a soft cloth. "So? She wouldn't have believed me. It sounds pretty stupid, if you ask me."

"You sound pretty stupid," he countered, struggling to keep his temper in check. "It doesn't matter if she believes you or not. We can't risk anyone knowing who we are! What if she tells someone about us, huh? What if she tells someone that she has two human Decepticons in her company? If you haven't noticed from all those terrible human transmissions you watch, squishies like to gossip."

"Yeah, so what?" Skywarp said before spitting out a mouthful of blood into the sink before him. "What can squishies do to us?"

TC pointed at the mirror with a huff. "Take a look."

"That was you, slagger."

"I didn't blacken your optic, or split your lip component. But that's beside the point. What if the Autobots find out we're here? What if Megatron finds out?! It isn't going to take very long for someone to notice we're missing, and as soon as that happens, they're going to start searching for us, intent on our termination. All it will take is for one squishie to open their filthy mouth and we're as good as slagged!"

"Relax, ain't no big deal. All we have to do is destroy the human worm. Problem solved."

Thundercracker frowned. Were things really so simple for Skywarp?

"We won't do such a thing," he firmly said.

"Why not? You said it yourself, she could open her vocalizer and start saying weird things about us… I just have one request. We don't kill her before I get the chance to frag her, okay?"

Thundercracker waited for Skywarp to finish rinsing his face in the water coming from the small faucet.

"Slag, do you think I look handsome in this body, TC?" the black Seeker said, looking at his reflection in the mirror again. "I couldn't tell in human standards… Do I remind you a little of Screamer? I mean, my hair is darker than his, but our facial features are very similar… Yours too, though you're taller than him and—"

"Skywarp."

His wingmate looked at him.

"We are not going to harm that human, do you understand? Not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

"But you just said—"

"I said that we have to be very careful in her presence and keep our real identities to ourselves. Terminating her is out of the question."

Skywarp frowned. "That's not the Decepticon way."

"Think about it. Do you really want to call this kind of attention to us? We don't even know how this organic society works! We've already had a close call with those law enforcer humans. If walking around without garments was enough to cause a scandal, what do you think will happen if we start slaughtering humans?"

Skywarp rubbed his chin. Thundercracker couldn't help but notice that it was true; he looked a lot like Starscream in his humanized version. But that was nothing strange; they all shared the same frame model, after all.

"Besides, we could jeopardize Starscream's mission here," Thundercracker said, relieved when he saw that look on Skywarp's face that indicated that he was being convinced. Then again, it didn't take a lot to convince his friend.

Skywarp shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you're right, whatever. It won't harm us to have somebody to guide us through this organic jungle, right?"

Thundercracker nodded. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. Now get out. I want to clean myself up before the human returns with the medical supplies." He grabbed a nearby cloth and tossed it to Skywarp. "And don't forget to put this around your waist."

Skywarp took it and gave it a disdainful look. "Forget it. I don't want to look like you."

"Do I really have to remind you that exposing certain parts of our body is not socially acceptable? Did you notice how disturbed she looked when she saw us, and the way she tried not to look at us?"

"That's my point. She already saw us, so what?"

Thundercracker grabbed his sore forehead and walked toward the small cleaning device. "Just… do what I say. "

Skywarp walked reluctantly to the door, but turned around and faced his wingmate again. "Hey, TC, if I can't destroy her, do you mind if I frag her?"

Thundercracker didn't reply. He was too astonished looking at his reflection in the mirror. Slag, he really did resemble both Starscream and Skywarp, and yet he was entirely different.

Just like their Cybertronian forms…

Skywarp squirmed uncomfortably in his seat as Ada cleaned the gash above his eyebrow and applied some kind of adhesive strip to the wound. He had been carrying on like a sparkling ever since the human female had sat him down, letting out a whimper every now and then from behind the bag of 'Farm Fresh Frozen Peas' he had pressed to his blackened nose. Whatever they were.

Thundercracker couldn't help but shake his head at the scene; metal or flesh, his trine mate would always be a coward when it came to experiencing pain. It was ironic, really, given how much of a sadist Skywarp was on the battlefield, but then again, he was no different than Starscream when he thought about it.

If only he could be more like him. Skywarp wasn't the only one injured and in pain, but there was no way he was going to behave like a sparkling when it came time for his repairs to be done. It was just…embarrassing.

And embarrassment was a feeling that he definitely didn't enjoy, especially when he was immersed in the most bizarre circumstances of his life, once again brought by the idiocy of the only friend he had in the Universe.

Thundercracker sighed. He would have preferred a good ole battle injury, being under siege after an energon raid… Slag, even being prisoner of the Autobots would be paradise. But no, he was in the middle of an alien world, literally naked and without any weapons to defend himself, his strength was a joke… and he was a human, a human… one of the weakest and most perishable races ever sparked.

A sudden sound and a green light coming from the human female's communication device brought Thundercracker back from his trip down depression lane. He immediately straightened his stance and raised an arm, only to remember that his incendiary guns were gone, along with his mech-hood.

When Ada took the black device, Thundercracker considered Skywarp's suggestion about terminating her. It would be a shame, as Thundercracker condemned the assassination of innocent beings, but if she informed other humans about her strange guests…

Fortunately, the human only read the incoming message on the screen and returned the device to the couch. After that, she quirked an eyebrow and turned to Thundercracker.

"It looks like you and your brother are famous."

Thundercracker frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing, only that the local news is warning people about two naked guys who stormed a night club and hurt three men."

A horrible feeling of foreboding suddenly twisted inside Thudercracker's gut, the desire to terminate the human becoming all the more appealing – and urgent. He had been stupid to assume that having Ada drive them away from their law enforcing pursuers would deliver them to safety; that little communiqué made the fact more than clear. They were wanted mechs…

…or men, rather.

And experience told him that the term 'wanted' was usually followed by the term 'reward'... Okay, so it was unlikely that a bounty hunter of the sort roaming Cybertron's dark streets would come after them, but that didn't mean that there wouldn't be someone just waiting to turn them in to the human law enforcers should they get the chance.

Thundercracker scrutinized the woman with narrowed eyes, unsure of what to do. Ada returned the look in silence, seemingly waiting for some kind of response.

Finally, she smiled, shrugging her shoulders as if the news meant nothing to her. "But then again, this is Portland. Far stranger things have happened here than two nude guys storming in into a night club."

"Those hum— they attacked us first!" Skywarp jumped in.

Thundercracker clenched his fists. It was obvious that the female wasn't buying anything they were saying, and anything new they added to their lie would only sink them more. If at least he had had some knowledge of human society… but his basic education in terrestrial dynamics had been gained through geographic and historic texts, and most recently television…

"I…" he said, clearing his throat and trying not to sound nervous. "I'm aware that we have not been a hundred percent honest with you, and it's very logical that you desire an explanation."

Ada's quizzical expression didn't change. "That would be nice, if you're okay with that."

Thundercracker shot a discreet, though firm, 'keep your mouth shut' look at Skywarp before addressing their host again. "The truth is that we are foreigners… We've come a long way looking for our brother." Technically, it wasn't a lie. All he had to do was be very careful with the information he provided, and hope that Skywarp would, indeed, keep his vocalizer silent for once.

"He came here under uh…difficult…circumstances, and we now have no way of knowing where he is or if he's okay."

Again, it wasn't a lie, especially given they no longer had comm. links with which they could speak to Starscream. Still, Ada didn't look overly convinced, or satisfied. Thundercracker glanced over at Skywarp again, his dark, violet eyes clearly conveying that he wasn't willing to stay quiet for long. Damn you, Skywarp, damn you to the pit…

Yet despite the pending storm of stupidity, words suddenly escaped the ex Seeker. How could he possibly explain their situation without making it plainly obvious that they weren't normal humans? Why hadn't his instinct to run kicked harder when they were out on the street, instead of giving in to Skywarp's desire to go with the woman?

"I'm sorry to hear that," Ada said when the silence had stretched far enough. "But it still doesn't explain why you were naked at a nightclub, or rolling around in the street, for that matter."

"Um, we are nudist dancers?" Skywarp said with a twisted smile.

Thundercracker didn't remember any other day in which violence had become such a recurrent tendency, but he found himself wanting to pounce at Skywarp and bury his head in the floor.

"As I said, we are foreigners," Thundercracker said, remembering what war had taught him about lying and sounding convincing. "We were not aware of how things function here and we had an unpleasant encounter with the police—"

"Frag, TC, just tell her the truth, would you?" Skywarp said, turning to Ada. "We were fragging some girls, okay? So we were caught without any covers on. You know how it is."

The expression on Ada's face was unreadable.

"Fragging?" She asked after a moment, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. "So that's what the kids call it these days, huh? Can't say I've heard that one before. Well, ahh, at least you're being honest now…"

Thundercracker couldn't help but clench his fists, a grimace spreading over his features. The desire to inflict death increased tenfold, although in truth it was just as tempting to inflict said death on himself as it was on anyone else. At least if he were dead he wouldn't have to worry about Skywarp's stupidity anymore, or the problems that came with it.

"Yeah," the moron spoke again before Thundercracker had a chance to step in and attempt to save the situation. "We're always fragging, you know, and where better than a nightclub? Then we got in a fight with some guys because they were jealous we got the girls, and that's when the law enforcer guys came. They were jealous too, so they robbed us."

It was official. Skywarp, ultra stupid Skywarp, had messed everything up.

But sometimes, just sometimes, reality had a very strange way of working. And this was – fortunately? – one of those occasions, as Skywarp's very insane argument returned the element of naturalness to a conversation that Thundercracker was sure would lead to the human distrusting them both and, in turn, being terminated.

"You see? Wouldn't it have been easier to tell me the truth in the first place?" she said, strangely relaxed. "Just remember to keep your pants on next time you decide to… frag girls in public places."

"I can't make promises like that," Skywarp said with a smirk, before yelping as Ada turned her attention to a cut on his chin.

"Believe me," Thundercracker said, taking the opportunity left by Skywarp's momentary silence. "We've learnt our lesson."

"I'm sure you have," Ada replied with a smile. "And I must say, so have I. Next time I see two naked guys lying in the street, I'll step on the accelerator, not the break. Honestly, Jon, this would go much quicker if you sat still."

Time had the annoying habit of passing by in slow motion during uncomfortable situations. And this was not the exception, although Thundercracker had to force himself to remember that he was uncomfortable. There were a hundred reasons to prove it, that's why he felt even worse when he found the soft texture of the couch pleasant to his organic body, not to mention that the feeling of the human female's hand on his brow wasn't exactly annoying either…

He remembered that Starscream had mentioned something about organic brains working different to Cybertronian processors, especially concerning emotions. According to Starscream, organics – and humans in particular – were very keen on having their emotions taken to extremes, and thus were very susceptible to confusing things. That could explain why he felt comfortable in a place where he should have been nothing but anxious.

"Did that fit well?" Ada asked, looking at the set of human garments she had given him. "You're a little taller than my boyfriend, and you definitely work out more."

"Yes, thank you." Physically, he had felt more comfortable wearing nothing but his bare organic skin, but now that he understood that nudity was somehow offensive to human society, he was thankful for his new outfit, as much as it was tight on his shoulders and arms.

Skywarp, on the other hand, seemed very comfortable in his human clothes. He had been more than a little excited about trying on his new pair of jeans and black polo shirt and although it had taken him a while to figure out just how the garments worked, now they were covering the correct body parts TC had to admit that they did suit his humanized form.

It occurred to him that perhaps Skywarp had found something to be good at, at last: being a stupid, squishy human. Certainly the clothing looked better on him, and if all humans fell for the idiotic words that came out of his mouth as Ada seemed to, well…

The sound of a distant ringing pulled TC out of his internal revelry, and caused Ada jump in the process. She had been in the process of covering the last of his injuries – his arms and legs were covered in white 'gauze' or whatever she'd called it – but now she seemed to freeze in place, adhesive tape suspended just a mechano-inch from the gauze she was holding to his palm.

But it was Skywarp who jumped higher. As Thundercracker himself had done it earlier, he raised his arms and pointed to the origin of the sound, as if he still had his arm-mounted incendiary guns.

"Slag! Are we under attack?"

Ada turned to look at him, her facial features clearly reflecting the fact that she thought that Skywarp was a lunatic. Thundercracker couldn't have disagreed on that one.

"No…" she said, approaching the window. "But I guess you could say that." Now her facial features reflected surprise, and Thundercracker could swear that he saw a bit of dread as well. But then again, he still had a lot to learn about reading human expressions.

"What is it? Is there a problem?" Thundercracker asked, getting up and looking for the closest exit.

"Umm, yes, there is," Ada replied, moving to Thundercracker's side and taking him by the arm. "Quick, you'd better hide in here," she said, opening the door to her large closet and ushering him inside.

To be continued.

Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. The truth is that we had 90% of it written for a while, but we hadn't had the time to finish and polish it.

And time is precisely the reason why we won't promise you a fast update this time. As we have said many times, our schedules are being such a couple of glitches and it's becoming every day harder to find the time to write fanfiction. Which is why we were forced to make the hard decision to leave this fic on hiatus and focus our limited fanfiction time on our other joint and solo stories. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but since we realized that not many people are reading this story, this had to be the one that had to be sacrificed. This doesn't mean that we will abandon it, but to be honest, we can't tell you when we will return to it.

We want to apologize to our readers. It's not like we take you guys for granted or don't consider your opinions, but please understand that we are making a big effort to keep these stories flowing and sometimes it's nearly impossible to keep more than two at the same time. Believe us, we know what we're talking about…

However, if you guys want this story to keep going, let us know and we'll reconsider.