Chapter 10

Morgan opened the door to the hotel room allowing Emily to walk in ahead of him, as he closed the door behind him. "Talk to me Prentiss please?" Morgan said softly as he sat on the chair at the small table. Emily sighed slightly as she eased herself on to the chair.

She gave him a slightly warmer smile as he sat across from her. "I can't help but feel guilty"

Morgan couldn't help the confusion that graced his face as he spoke softly, "Guilty about what?"

Emily shook her head slightly as she let out what had been playing on her mind, it was a pang of irrational guilt but still it was there. "If I hadn't of asked JJ to come with me" she sighed slightly "I know the plane would have crashed regardless of who was on it, but it took me too long to realise that she wasn't breathing, what if that has caused her problems"

Morgan could not help the shocked look that graced his features as he shook his head, "JJ wasn't breathing?" he questioned again unsure if he had heard her correctly. Emily gave a half-smile to confirm that what she had said was correct the sadness cast over her face her eyes glimmered in a pain Morgan hadn't seen in a long time. "Prentiss none of this was your fault"

Emily let out a dry chuckle as she spoke "I know but I cannot help but blame myself" allowing a small sigh to leave her lips she swallowed softly. "I know I am the reason her ribs are broken and that I can live with but what if JJ blames me, Morgan,"

Morgan couldn't help give a warm smile, "From what you have told me Prentiss you, in fact, saved her life, so why on earth would she blame you?"

Emily knew it was irrational thought but still it was there she knew that JJ would know the truth by now and she also knew that she had held back the truth from JJ, it wasn't an aim to protect her she knew if she even gave that impression she would have a fiery blonde to contend with, she began to wonder if it was the lack of sleep that was allowing herself to be consumed with a guilt that really didn't have any place in her mind.

Each time she had watched over JJ scared that she may stop breathing again each time she had watched the rise and fall of her chest, she had known deep down what problems could be caused by giving CPR and her rational side of her brain also knew if she had caused JJ any real trauma the lively blonde would have passed away within hours. But this self-doubt had been placed inside her from a young age and it still niggled at her today it was still the sound of her Mothers disapproving voice that she heard loud and clear telling her she wasn't good enough, she had taken the wrong career path or she should have settled down and had children by now.

Giving him a warm smile that told him she wanted to be alone aside from anything she really needed to soak in the bath her skin was still black from dirt she had bruises in places she didn't even know she could get bruises "I need a bath" Emily said softly causing Morgan to snigger

"I really didn't want to say anything Emily but you are a little ripe" he teased gently. "I will be back soon"

Emily nodded "Morgan" he paused as he turned to look at her "Thank you"

He gave a warm smile "You are my friend are always welcome" Emily nodded as he made his way out of the room gently closing the door behind him.

"How is she?" JJ asked as Morgan entered the room,

"Beating herself up as normal,"

JJ closed her eyes slightly "Can we get out of here, so I can go and talk to her" JJ said,

Morgan smirked slightly "Hotch is just sorting the paperwork out then you are free to go" JJ smiled a grateful smile as a soft knock caused them both to turn around.

JJ raised her eyebrows as she spoke "I can walk you know" Rossi gave a soft smile as he made his way into the room

"Policies kiddo" he said with a smirk as Morgan chuckled

"You are as bad as Prentiss"

JJ laughed slightly though her ribs caused her slight pain. "Can we just get out of here then?" Morgan said as he took hold of the wheelchair allowing Rossi to help her if she needed it.

Within twenty minutes Morgan was stood in the elevator with her as they made their way up to the floor which they were staying on, he knocked gently on the door as he knew Emily had gone for a bath, he gave JJ a soft smile

"We are just down the hall if you need us" JJ looked at him slightly puzzled "Hotch got Garcia to get you both a double room," Morgan said answering the silent question.

JJ made her way into the room closing the door softly behind her as she called out "Emily" the light under the door told her where Emily was and the movement coming from the bathroom only confirmed it. The door opened slightly as Emily walked out her ankle causing her to limp slightly.

"Hey" the normal guarded profiler seemed almost shy as JJ looked at her giving her a soft smile.

"Hey yourself" she said gently

"How you feeling" the concern laced in Emily's voice warmed her heart as she smiled softly

"Better now I am out of that hospital"

Emily smiled, everyone in the team hated being in hospital, they seemed to spend most of their time there. If it was not because one of them had been hurt it was either because a victim had survived or was being treated for their injuries or because they had shot the unsub.

Emily pulled the towel more tightly against her body as she sat on the edge of the bed, JJ couldn't help but sigh slightly, getting Emily to talk was always a task in itself but she need to let Emily know that she knew what had happened and for the life of her she couldn't understand why Emily hadn't told her.

JJ's eyes fell on Emily a soft smile crept across her lips as she spoke "Thank you"

Emily frowned slightly "Why are you thanking me?" Emily said slightly puzzled.

JJ closed her eyes before she scrunched her face slightly "For saving my life" Emily swallowed her face never giving anything away but her eyes betrayed her. "Emily what is it"

Emily let a dry chuckle escape her lips "I hope I never have to save your life like that again"

JJ's face softened as she sat beside her "Can you stop beating yourself up" JJ whispered softly causing Emily to sigh "I don't blame you for anything Emily, I owe you my life" JJ said softly, Emily looked at her for a moment her eyes falling downcast, "Emily" it came out as a whisper the stubborn guarded profiler had allowed the walls that surrounded her to slip, JJ placed her arm around her as silent tears fell from Emily's eyes, the emotion evident in her voice when she spoke

"I thought I had lost you JJ" JJ tightened her arm around Emily frame as Emily took comfort from her.

The past three nights had been her worst nightmare, it had started the moment she placed her fingers on JJ's neck only to find no pulse there, the fifteen long minutes of doing CPR brought fear and a realisation to her mind, she could not lose this woman in front of her, but in truth she knew she wasn't good enough she never was, since she could remember she was reminded each day that she wasn't good enough, she wasn't the daughter her parents had wanted, she was a rebel a party piece, she had watched as her mother and father fought day in and day out only to find herself used as a weapon.

"I am still here Emily," JJ said softly, placing her hand on top of Emily's hand. Emily closed her eyes as she swallowed slightly, JJ could not help the soft smile that graced her lips as she spoke. "Stop blaming yourself Emily, I don't blame you. You saved my life and I am so thankful that you did" JJ paused slightly as she looked at Emily who still had her eyes closed.

JJ cupped her cheek making so she could get Emily to face her "Open your eyes Emily" JJ whispered softly.

In all the time JJ had known Emily she had never seen the profilers emotions so raw as though she had lost something, JJ's heart went out to her she could only guess what played in her mind because in truth if the roles were reversed the sheer thought of Emily's limp lifeless body in front of her would haunt her. JJ did not know what else to do. Emily in effect had closed down but her emotions were raw as the night's sky taking a deep breath, she swallowed deeply as she placed her lips against Emily's before pulling away.

Deep chocolate eyes locked with crystal baby blue eyes "I am still here Emily" JJ said softly

Emily stayed frozen to the spot her mind reeling 'Did that just happen?' Emily thought to herself the words never leaving her lips as she looked blankly at JJ.

JJ moved back slightly as the words stumbled out of her mouth "Sorry" Emily closed her eyes slightly as the words spun in her mind; she looked again at JJ, the fear laced over JJ's face as though she had done something wrong.

A small smile graced Emily's lips as she mirrored the action that JJ had done prior her fingers gently cupped her cheek so JJ was now facing her looking into deep soulful chocolate eyes "Never be sorry" Emily said in a whisper.