Chapter 15

'As I lay here I wonder if she really cares if Morgan can make her see that I am nothing to fear. I know he knows her better than I do, but I have also known for a long time that I love her and that I am in love with her, but she is so closed off so guarded and damn well stubborn how can I make her see? How can I make her understand that me wanting her, has nothing to do with what she did, nothing to do with the fact that she has saved my life. Alternatively, the fact she has watched over me for those days we were in the forest, and how much I just want to curl into her arms and have her hold me. I know that she is scared but I also think it is more than that. Has she ever been loved? On the other hand, has she ever loved anyone? I just wish I could get her to pull her walls down and let me in, even if it is only slightly it would be a start instead of her running. Being so scared that she can't even speak to me, that she can't even face me' the thoughts ran through JJ's mind

Morgan walked Emily to the room he rested his hand on her shoulder "Just try and talk to her or at least let her know she hasn't lost you" Morgan said as Emily gave a coy smile before starting to unlock the door, slightly nervous of what she would find on the other side of it. Emily turns the handle on the door, part of her hoped JJ was asleep but the other side of her hoped she was awake so that they could talk.

JJ heard the unlocking of the door, as she turned over closing her eyes unsure if she was ready to see Emily or if Emily would even acknowledge her, wrapping her arm around the sheets as she lay still as though she was asleep, she heard the door open as she slowed her breathing down.

Emily closed the door softly behind her as she looked at the sleeping form of JJ, her eyes softened as she walked over to the bed sitting down next to her, she gently ghost her fingers along JJ's hairline as she began to whisper to her sleeping form.

"I am so sorry JJ, I should never have run from you" Emily let out a soft sigh as she looked at JJ's peaceful sleeping form. "I can't lose you, Jennifer, I am just so scared," Emily whispered as she continued to run her fingers through JJ's hair. "I am not very good at opening up, but for you I can try if you would guide me, that's if I haven't lost you already," Emily finally laid down next to her so she was facing JJ as she continued to trace her fingers along her skin. "I just hope you will find it your heart to forgive me," Emily whispered.

It was with watching JJ sleep the young, innocent and beautiful woman, Emily realised one thing she couldn't lose her from her life, she wished the case was over and they were on the way home, she felt too exposed and too raw, she couldn't allow anyone to see this vulnerable side of her but as she watched JJ sleep peacefully she knew she could allow her to see this side of her and that she needed to let her see this side of her, because without JJ seeing her insecurities and fears she couldn't allow her in and she knew JJ was already open with her, but when it came to matters of the heart Emily was scared of getting hurt like she had been so many times in the past. Emily drifted to sleep in the early hours of the morning,

A few hours later JJ woke, she could not help but watch Emily before she tried to wake her; though Emily thought she was asleep, she had heard every word Emily had said. "Emily," JJ said softly as she tried to get her to stir slightly "Emily time to get up" JJ said slightly firmer as Emily began to move slightly "I'll make us a coffee" JJ said as she moved so Emily could wakefully.

Though JJ knew what Emily had said last night Emily had no clue as she stirred more, Emily's eyes drifted over to JJ who was now stood at the kettle, her eyes freely roamed over her as she made more movement to get up out of bed. "morning" Emily murmured as JJ turned around

"Morning"

JJ gave a half-smile as Emily looked away again "Your coffee is ready" JJ said as she picked her clothes up walking into the bathroom to get dressed.

"Thanks" Emily said as JJ walked past her.

There was a tension surrounding them as though they were trying to communicate through failing to speak fully to one another, they had to work together they had to be a team, Emily sighed as she took in the smell of the coffee, the slight opening of the bathroom door showed that JJ was now dressed as Emily looked at her there eyes meeting briefly.

Emily gave her a soft smile as she spoke "JJ I am sorry I was an ass" the words were slightly hushed as JJ nodded. She was still hurt with the actions of Emily but looking into her brown soulful eyes, she nodded her response slightly before she spoke.

"You were an ass Emily," she raised her eyebrow much like a mother would do at a child that had missed behaved "I do not want to get into this here, though I do have one question for you and I would like an honest answer" JJ said in a firm manner. Emily stayed quiet as she nodded for JJ to speak "If you didn't want it why did you kiss me back"

Emily swallowed slightly before meeting her gaze "I did and I do want it" it came out in more of a whisper but JJ heard each word

"Then we will talk about it when we get home" Emily just nodded she knew she had already hurt JJ and the passiveness was more of pointing out she was hurt, though Emily retreated again the fear which laid inside her taking over her.

An hour later they were all stood in the precinct "I have had Garcia trace a few names early this morning" agents Peters said as he addressed them all

"Have you" Emily started but was cut off slightly

"I had a uni out there since last night, there has been a lot of coming and going, also the locals saw a young boy in there I told them to just watch until I could have the background ran on the owner and it is just as your profile lined out for us" he finished as he looked at Emily

"What's your plan" she almost scowled at him.

"That we have swat meet us there with the locals"

Emily nodded the unease settling inside, as she knew what they could find on the other side of the door once they got into position. "We need to go in silent and fast, if they even get a hint that we are outside the boy will be either killed or used as a pawn" Emily said.

Hotch turned and looked at both Emily and JJ "JJ I need you to stay here, I can't risk having you in the field, not with your ribs" JJ scowled slightly like most agents she hated being benched,

"I could take point and not go in for the takedown"

Emily and Morgan couldn't help but chuckle. Hotch sighed slightly he could understand and he would want to do the same "Fine but you stay in the car" JJ rolled her eyes slightly as she nodded. "Prentiss how is the ankle?" he asked,

"It is fine" she gave a pointed look as Hotch just nodded. They both had been through too much to be benched now.

The team split up as they made their way to the cars, Reid Morgan and Emily in one car, Hotch, Rossi and JJ in the other. They pulled up along the street out of view as they all switched into their gear.

"How are we going to do this?" Morgan asked as Emily checked her gun.

"Rossi your with me, Reid you're with Peters and Morgan your with Emily" Hotch said and Emily looked at him as though she already knew that.

"From the layout, Garcia has sent us there are three points of entry, Reid and Peters take the side entry, Morgan, Emily the back and Rossi and I will take the front, no one enters until I give the signal" Hotch said as everyone got ready. Emily looked over at JJ briefly to which JJ gave a soft half-smile. It had been the first type of communication they had, had since they had kissed.

They all made their way over to the property each taking position as they waited for Hotch to give the signal. The loud knocking on the door would have been enough to disturb anyone as they listen as Hotch banged on the door again. They could hear movement inside as Hotch gave the order to enter.

Each door was kicked down at the same time as they entered the property, the loud bang that ran through the house as the explosion around them. JJ jumped at the sound as she listened for someone to speak any sign that her team was okay, the smoke could be seen coming from the building.