Chapter 21

"Jen" the soft voice comes behind me, I cannot answer though as I look ahead of me. This must be one of the hardest things I have done in my life. The only other thing harder than this would have to be burying my sister. "Jennifer" the voice is slightly firmer this time though it still does not pull me from the thought of walking up the steps to the jet.

A hand appears on my shoulder pulling me out of the trance-like state I have been in for the past ten minutes or so.

"What if" I mumble slightly.

It had been the one thing I had been dreading stepping on the plane again, the last time I had been on a plane we had crashed and I had in a technical sense died and in truth I didn't want to risk it again.

"I won't leave you Jen" her voice was soft, kind and loving about it as she spoke, I felt her fingers wrap around mine and the gentle squeeze she gave me as some sort of encouragement.

"Last time we crashed" I whispered my voice was laced in fear, which I could not hide. I could feel the soft smile before I saw it as her other arm wrapped around my waist as though she was grounding me.

"You and me both know it is not very often something like that happens and plus we do need to get back unless you want to drive all the way to DC." She pointed out.

Spend a few hours on a plane or a few days in the car. In truth, I knew which I would prefer and if I did not get back on it, I doubt I would ever fly again. "Don't leave me" much like Emily I hated showing my weakness but this fear was not a weakness it had been built on since we had crashed all those days ago. I took a deep breath before straightening my shoulders and trying to suppress my fear the one that was telling me to turn around and run for the hills. "What's that saying about getting back in the saddle" I mumbled not really needing a reply as I took an uneasy step forward on to the dreaded steps that led up to the plane.

It seemed to take me forever to reach the top, though not one person seemed to rush me Emily stayed close behind me and I wondered if she had the same fear, she is just so much better at hiding her feelings. There on the table where I and Emily were going to sit our normal spot, though this time I was not going to sit by the window or on my own. Emily gave me a reassuring smile before taking a seat next to the window and me than sitting next to her.

"Thank you, Spencer," I said softly as he places a much-welcomed cup of coffee in front of me, which was just cool enough for me to drink before take-off; he gave me a shy smile and a nod of his head before returning to his seat at the back of the jet. The coffee, which was a little sweeter than I normally drink, seemed to help still my body for the slight trembles that came from the fear and nerviness of flying. Again, Emily took hold of my hand grounding me as though everything around me just centred in that one action.

I half-listened to them talking as my head rested on Emily's shoulder, I was tired but I knew I could rest and I daren't go to sleep the fear still laced inside me and I wondered if it would ever settle and I would overcome the fear. Emily kept her hand wrapped around mine our fingers interlaced. I felt her lips touch the top of my head. We were in front of everyone and Emily was showing some type of emotion. It humbled me; I knew Garcia was sat opposite us, I think she needed to be near us her friends and her family, keeping her watchful eye over us.

The slight rocking disturbed me as I began to open my eyes which were still laced in sleep, I didn't know when I had fallen asleep but I had my head was still resting on Emily's shoulder which felt much softer than it had the first time I had leaned into her, her hand seemed to be clasped around mine and I could hear the soft chuckles coming from Garcia as I slowly came around.

Her fingers ran through my hair most lovingly as I moved it was at that point I noticed my head was not on her shoulder but on her breast, my eyes snapped open the shock must have been evident on my face as my cheeks burnt red with embarrassment.

Emily smiled softly at me as she spoke "It's okay I didn't mind" she gave me a slight wink as Hotch cleared his throat in order for us to get off the jet, I do think both myself and Emily were grateful to be back on solid ground.

Emily had offered to take me home, though neither of us was really in a fit state to drive Garcia rubbed my shoulder as she went ahead with the rest of the team leaving me slightly confused on how we were going to get home. Neither of us had left our cars near the airstrip, I looked around as I saw a black limo pulling onto the tarmac. Emily gave me a soft smile as she spoke "I arranged it so we didn't need to worry about driving or having to go back to the BAU" it was all that really needed to be said we both just wanted to be able to get into our own beds even if just for one night.

The sun shone through the smallest crack from the curtain waking me from my slumber, pulling the sheet slightly over my face, I just needed a few more hours I hadn't known how tired I was till my head hit the pillow the familiar smell which comforted me as I moved against the sleeping form behind me.

Her arm tightened around my waist as I felt her face bury more into the back of my neck, I could not help but smile. Nothing had happened other than I fell asleep in her arms, I couldn't help but think this was where I belonged in her arms in my bed,

"You think way too much" the mumbled voice came from behind me. She pulled me closer as I spoke softly my voice laden with sleep

"I was thinking about you if that makes it better" I couldn't help the cheesy remark it had left my lips before I had chance to stop myself.

"Shh, don't have to be up for a few more hours" Emily grumbled slightly, she had never been a morning person; I nodded against her as I tried to will myself back to sleep.

My hands wrapped around the coffee cup as I waited for signs of life from upstairs, I had not managed to go back to sleep so instead of disturbing Emily I thought I would get up. It is not unusual for us to sleep for so long after a hard case, though I knew she wanted to get to the hospital to check on Morgan. I had already rung to check he had, had a good night. It was pleasing to hear that he had.

And since Emily had paid for his room and made arrangements that we could visit anytime, I knew she had more than likely paid a very high price for moving him she had also found some of the best doctors to treat him. It warmed my heart to think and see how much she really did care about each one of us.

I could hear the soft footfall coming from upstairs as I placed another cup of coffee on the worktop, I could not help the smile, which spread across my face as she made her way into the kitchen "Good morning" she said in a soft voice.

"Good morning Em" I replied as I handed her, her morning drug

"Mmm smells so good" it was almost a moan as she spoke. My stomach seemed to flip as the warmth settled deep inside me. I raised my eyebrow at her as she took a sip of the coffee.

It was like watching something from an erotic film, how could someone drinking coffee make it look so damn sexy? Alternatively, was I just turned on that much that I found it one of the sexiest things I had seen for a long time. The only thing I could think about was her lips against my breast nipping against my skin, her tongue flicking and playing with my nipple. The thought of her mouth on my skin sent my libido into a frenzy of want, need and desire. How is it that I never noticed just how sexy she was before now? On the other hand, had my feeling been surpassed for fear of rejection, had I missed the cues in the two years I had known her? On the other hand, had I ignored them for the sake of the job?

The drive to the hospital was as though we were both lost in thought though Emily's hand rested on top of mine, the slight gentle squeeze she gave my hand made me turn and look at her. "Can I take you for lunch after we have check on Morgan?" her voice was slightly uneasy as though she thought I would reject the idea of going out with her.

A smile took over my lips as I answered "I'd love to go to lunch with you" she gave me a nod as a reply as she pulled my hand up to her lips, I wondered if she was slightly lost for words.