'No, I did not have any input on The List! I've already told you...I know no more about it than you do.'

Padma attempted to walk away from the burly Seventh Year Gryffindor, but he easily blocked her way, smirking.

'It would be wiser to ask for information about The List from someone who is actually informed, McLaggen, not someone who knows no more, or I'd wager even less, than you.'

Terry's eyes were fixed on Cormac McLaggen, his face impassive.

The Gryffindor turned on his heels and stormed off, muttering about unfeminine Ravenclaw girls immune to his charms and threats from creepily stoic Ravenclaw boys.

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'I didn't threaten him; I merely gave him advice. He chose to interpret it as a threat.'

Padma smiled.

'Thanks, Terry.'

'No problem, Pad. You were looking rather uncomfortable; more so than when you were dealing with the others. McLaggen is particularly persistent.'

Padma sighed.

'I have the beginnings of a migraine, I think. Vati and Lavender's List may well drive me insane.'

'You might be already.'

She laughed.

'Then so are you.'

'Indeed. For all we know, everyone could be insane.'

'But then we'd all be sane, and the sane would be insane.'

'True. Insanity is relative, after all.'

'But even so, The List is a lot of trouble. I sometimes wonder how Vati and I can be twins.'

'You're not the only one. Thirteen boys so far have asked you, and it's only been two days since they wrote it.'

Padma looked puzzled.

'But I only found out about it this morning, and news of it is still spreading around the school...but then again, you're Terry, so of course you know.'

'I don't know everything, Pad.'

'I constantly doubt the truth of that, Terry. Would you have any idea how to contain the trouble The List is causing me?'

'Word will eventually get around that you truly don't know more about it than everyone else, and that you won't attempt to obtain it for anyone. Most importantly, after a couple of weeks, everyone will begin to forget about it anyway.'

'That won't come a day too soon.'

They'd reached the Common Room knocker, and awaited the question.

'What is real?'

'Everything except what is unreal, and as nothing can be proven unreal, everything.'

'But Terry, by the same token, everything except what is real is unreal, and as nothing can be proven real either, nothing is real.'

'Everything or nothing, then.'

The door opened, and they stepped into the Common Room, only to be immediately met by Michael and Anthony.

'Pad, Tony and I have a favour to ask of you.'

'It's not really a favour, Mike; after all, I'm going read over hers-'

'-Wait, Pad has a List too?'

Anthony frowned.

'What? No, it's an essay, Mike, not a list. Remember, Flitwick gave us-'

'-You were talking about Charms homework?'

The Prefect nodded.

'Of course. What were you talking about?'

'The List!'

'What list?'

'The List!'

Padma groaned and headed up to her dorm.

Anthony and Michael stared after her.

'What's wrong with Pad?'

'It's not...it, is it?'

'No, Mike, it is not. She just has a rather bad headache, which is unsurprising after being bothered all day about The List.'

'What is the list?'

Poor Anthony looked as if he would explode from curiosity.

'You don't know about The List? How could you not know about The List? Everyone knows about The List!'

'Mike, evidently not everyone knows. Tony, The List is what the whole school population is calling an article created by Parvati and Lavender ranking the attractiveness of all the males in Sixth and Seventh Year.'

'And every bloke in Sixth and Seventh Year wants to see it!'

'Not every bloke, Mike.'

'Well, except maybe the ones who play for the other team.'

'And me.'

Michael rolled his eyes.

'And you, of course, Terry. Why not is beyond me.'

Terry sat down on an armchair, extracting a newspaper from his bookbag as he spoke.

'Because I don't care how attractive Parvati and Lavender find me. '

Michael rolled his eyes yet again.

'Terry, Tony, do you think Pad will give me The List?'

'I don't think so, Mike...'

'No.'

'Mike, Terry, do I want to see The List?'

'No.'

'Do you care how attractive Parvati and Lavender find you?'

Anthony looked somewhat miffed.

'Thanks, Mike.'

'Mike, Terry, do you think Pad will proofread my Charms essay for me?'

'She will if you wait until Saturday, when she no longer has a migraine and can avoid queries about The List.'

Michael just threw his hands up in exasperation.