'I hate you.'

Michael glared at Terry.

Terry remained unperturbed.

'Why did the warlocks of Liechtenstein refuse to join the International Confederation of Wizards?'

'I hate you.'

'That's not the correct answer.'

'I hate you!'

'I know you do, currently, Mike. But why didn't the warlocks of Liechtenstein join?'

The darker-haired teenager groaned.

'Why are you torturing me?'

'Because you asked for it.'

'Well, I un-ask you!'

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'You instructed me quite clearly that I am not, under any circumstances, to stop.'

'I've changed my mind! Stop! Please! I'll do anything!'

Terry shook his head.

'You asked for my help. I gave you my word. Therefore, I am not going to stop.'

Michael buried his face in the pile of parchment on the desk in front of him.

His slightly-muffled words still reached Terry, however.

'Why did I get myself into this situation?'

'You evinced a desire to study for your O.W.L.s. You requested that I assist you.'

'Why in the name of Merlin's baggiest pants would I do that?'

Terry simply extracted a roll of parchment from underneath Michael's head.

'Your exact words were I'm going to get more O.W.L.s than that bloody git even if it kills me.'

Michael crossed his arms.

'Damn it! This is going to kill me! I hate him! I can't believe he's my brother!'

'I know you do. But I can believe that you're related.'

Michael looked as if he'd curse Terry on the spot.

'Bloody hell, Terry! As if there's any resemblance between me and that idiot!'

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'Well, for one, you and Matthew, from what I've heard, both have an unfortunate dislike of studying for their exams. Secondly-'

'-Are you saying I'm like my brother because I won't study?'

'That is what my words inferred.'

Michael picked up A History of Magic.

'I knew I hated that Gryffindor git for a reason. Fine. I'll prove it. I'm nothing like my brother! Now, what was the question?'

'Why didn't the Liechtenstein warlocks join the International Confederation of Wizards?'

A week and a half later, during breakfast on the first day of O.W.L.s, Michael looked up murderously from his Pixie Puffs.

Terry was the subject of his glare.

As usual, he remained unflustered.

'You tricked me.'

'I'm sorry, Mike, I don't understand what you mean.'

Michael pointed his spoon threateningly at the glasses-wearing boy.

'Yes you do! You tricked me into studying! You know I'm nothing like Matthew! You only said I was in order to make me study!'

Terry nodded.

'I can't deny that. But, likewise, you cannot deny that it didn't work. I can say with a high level of certainty that you will receive more O.W.L.s than him.'

Michael returned to his Pixie Puffs, still muttering under his breath.

'...Tricked me...can't believe he tricked me...can't believe I fell for it...I actually studied...'

Padma, seated beside Michael, stopped reciting the definition of a Switching Spell.

'Well, I can say with a high level of certainty that I know I haven't studied enough!'

Terry locked his eyes with hers.

'You know that's not true, Pad. You have studied more than sufficiently.'

She shook her head.

'No, I haven't! I've only studied significantly more than usual since after Christmas!'

'Pad, your definition of significantly more than usual studying is what most would classify as a ludicrous and unbelievable level of study.'

Anthony looked up from his Muggle Studies textbook.

'No, it isn't. I've been studying for at least half an hour more than Pad every day, and I've been studying specifically in preparation for my O.W.L.s since Halloween!'

Padma nodded.

'Exactly! I haven't studied enough! I'm going to get straight Ts!'

Terry sighed.

'If you get straight Ts, Pad, or you, Tony, then I'm going to come to breakfast naked, propose to Parvati and eat the Sorting Hat.'

Padma's brow furrowed.

'But that'd be completely out of character, not to mention against at least seven school rules. You would never do that, Terry!'

The brown-haired boy nodded.

'Exactly, it would never happen. Just like you or Tony getting straight Ts. You are both going to do excellently.'

Both Padma and Anthony appeared unconvinced, but started their breakfast anyway.

Terry suddenly reached out and grabbed Padma's hand.

'You like cinnamon in your porridge, Pad, not pepper.'

He replaced the pepper shaker in her hand with the cinnamon.

'Oh. Thanks, Terry. Switching spells are used-'

'-Tony, while Mike takes kippers in his porridge on the rare occasions that Pad can persuade him not to eat those balls of sugar sold as Pixie Puffs, you are more partial to bananas.'

Anthony halted, glancing down at his hands.

He was clutching half a kipper.

The other half of the kipper was already in chunks in his porridge.

The blond boy groaned and reached for a fresh bowl.

'I hate O.W.L.s.'

'Is fibre or oil more important for ill unicorns? I can't remember! I'm pretty sure I read about it somewhere...'

'...Stupid Gryffindor git...studied all because of him...'

Terry returned to his porridge.

Constant observation of humans, and indeed of the supposed chaos that surrounds them, reveals that this chaos doesn't actually exist, and the behaviour of certain individuals follows predictable patterns...

I could have called this behaviour at least two years ago.

Perhaps that is why Mike calls me a stalker.

AN: Yes, I do seem to have a strange obsession with what they eat for breakfast. Padma likes cinnamon in porridge, Michael has Pixie Puffs (and when Padma can make him eat porridge, porridge with kippers) and Anthony likes banana in porridge. What do you all think Terry has?