The two boys finally have their talk. Will Brian actually tell Justin how much he means to him? Or will he run away again?

We wound up just leisurely walking along the shoreline of the beach as Brian steered me toward the end that was deserted; no doubt by purposeful intent. Actually, I preferred it. If we were really going to truly talk, I wanted to be alone with him when we did. I felt it was only when it was just the two of us that he really allowed his innermost feelings and true nature to surface, and the last thing I wanted was an audience around us.

I had slung the backpack of supplies over one shoulder earlier; it was starting to feel quite heavy as I stopped to pull it off and drop it down onto the hard, wet sand. I glanced over at Brian, Liam having taken our art supplies back to the car earlier. I decided, good or bad, it was now or never. "Brian?" I called over softly to him as he turned to look at me; we had stopped near one of the towering rocks that thankfully hid us from the rest of the beachgoers. "You said before that you wanted to talk. But you haven't said a word to me."

Brian let out a deep sigh as he nodded, his eyes boring into mine and still making my heart do somersaults. "Let's sit down," he told me. I let go of his hand to reach inside the backpack to pull out the two, oversized beach towels and spread them out onto the ground as the two of us sat down next to each other, Brian's long legs spread out in front of him as he braced himself on his elbows, and mine bent at the knee as I wrapped my arms firmly around them and stared out at the now gently lapping water.

When Brian didn't speak up, I turned to look at him. I had so many questions that I didn't know where to start. "How did you even know I was here?" I began.

"I didn't," he told me to my surprise. "I was out taking a ride on my bike along the Pacific Coast Highway and just happened to drive by this park. I thought it looked interesting, so I pulled into the parking lot - not too far away from a car that looked vaguely familiar." One side of his mouth quirked up as he added, "At first, I thought it was merely a coincidence that it looked like your car...but your license plate kind of gave it away. Gidget?" I blushed, in spite of the seriousness of our situation, as he reminded me, "I thought you despised that name when I called you that."

I pondered how to respond to that question, trying hard not to give too much of myself away. After all, I was still angry and upset with him. "Well...I guess I got used to it," I finally murmured. And YOU...until you ran off. I took a deep breath as I turned to look at him, finding him staring intently at me in expectation. Apparently I was going to have to lead this conversation - wherever it wound up. "Brian, first of all, about the car..." He lifted one eyebrow. I pressed my lips together and swallowed. "I had a hell of a time coming up with a good explanation as to where it came from," I admitted. "But that was a very generous thing for you to do. If you'll let me know how much it cost, I WILL find a way somehow to pay you back for it." No matter whether or not he was more financially stable than me, I still didn't like the idea of being beholden to him.

"How?" he asked me in amusement. "The last time I saw you, you weren't exactly employed in a high-income position. Unless you've found another way to supplement your lifesaving duties with some of your other many talents."

I huffed out an irritated breath, my face warming over the insinuation. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" I shook my head. One step forward, two steps back... "I know it would take me a long time to do it," I admitted, "being in school and all. But I could get a part-time job, and pay you back a little at a time. And I will," I told him resolutely. "Just tell me how much it was, and I'll..."

"I don't want your money, Justin!" Brian replied as he shook his head. "I didn't buy you the damn car expecting to be paid back! I don't want - or need- your money!"

My eyes glistened as I asked him, "Well, what DID you expect then, Brian? You...you sneak out of our bed before I even have a chance to wake up so you can leave me without so much as a goodbye and go back to 'your world,' as you so quaintly put it, and then I find this car out in the parking lot! Was that your way of saying thank you to ME?" I pressed, feeling the painful knot in my throat.

"Fuck! Why do I feel like some well-paid whore all of a sudden?" I angrily wiped a tear from my cheek, more upset with the fact that I was displaying this weakness if front of him than what his gift might have signified. Besides, truthfully I didn't really believe that; it was more the fact that Brian had left so abruptly that made me lash out at him.

Brian's face turned red. My eyes widened as I observed his facial features contort into something almost ugly as he reached over to grab my wrist and roughly pull me against his chest; my adrenalin shot through my entire body as he gripped my shoulders like a man drowning, and I wound up straddling his thighs, my legs bent to either side of his body as I placed my hands on his shoulder blades to brace myself. I had never seen Brian so angry before. "Don't you even SAY that! Are you out of your fucking mind?!" He had this look of total disbelief on his face. "Don't you realize how I felt about you? How I STILL feel about you?"

"No," I told him honestly. "I don't. That's the problem. Because if you did care about me, how could you have just left like you did?" I shook my head as he opened his mouth to reply. "Yes, I know what you said before. You couldn't stay there; you had to go back to 'your world.' I realized that. You couldn't make a living by surfing all day. But it was the way that you left me, Brian! You didn't leave money in an envelope on the night table...but you might as well. As always, though, you decided to do it up big and leave me a car, instead."

I gasped as his fingers bit into my flesh and his normally placid eyes darkened with anger. I wasn't afraid of Brian - I had seen the tender side of him too much to know that he wasn't really capable of violence - at least not with me - but I WAS surprised by the intensity of the righteous fury reflected currently in his eyes.

"Now you listen to ME, Justin Taylor! Yes! I did have to leave! And yes, maybe I didn't show the proper amount of finesse when I left to suit you! But do you think it was easy for me, having to leave? Well, it wasn't! I had to force myself out of your bed that day! And when you looked over at me from your balcony, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do when I got on that bike and sped off! So don't go trying to make it out that it didn't affect me, too!"

I could tell by Brian's face that it HAD bothered him. But... "Well, then, why did you tell me not to contact you, Brian? And why didn't you contact me? You obviously knew where I was. It wouldn't have been difficult to do. What stopped you? Huh? I wasn't asking for some kind of commitment from you. I just wanted to spend more time with you. It's not like you were moving to another country or something - or even another state."

Brian sighed as he loosened his grip on my shoulders but didn't let go altogether; as I sat there, the two of us facing each other, all those memories from before came rushing into my mind. I still cared about this man, no matter what had happened; of that there was no question. I couldn't deny my feelings for him. Perhaps that was what made this harder.

"Justin, you only knew me for a few short days back at the resort. I had lived a lifetime before you met me. And yeah, we got to know each other better while I was there. But you can't know everything you need to know about me in a few short days. There's a lot about me that you don't have a clue about."

Despite my anger, I couldn't help responding to the vulnerability in his voice as I slid my hands up to cup his face. "So tell me," I whispered. "Make me understand."

He let out a deep breath between his lips as he replied truthfully, "That would pretty much take a lifetime, Justin."

"You have to start somewhere."

I could see emotions conflicting on his face before he finally seemed to make a decision and nod. "I've...I've never really known how to have a relationship with anyone. My family life was totally fucked up to the point where I spent most of my time at my best friend's house, at least when I could sneak out without my old man beating the shit out of me first."

My eyes teared up at the thought as I opened my mouth to say something, but Brian silenced me with a shake of his head. I bit my lip as he continued.

"My mother chose to ignore what was going on by drinking herself into oblivion in between attending every mass at the local Catholic Church; I'm sure they all thought she was a model of morality, because she always was good at holding her liquor in and could spout virtually every verse out of the Bible while doing it." He snorted. "But she was more frigid to me than a fucking igloo, and just as supportive when my old man was hitting me. She always said I had done something to cause it." He shook his head sadly; I could tell he was reliving some of it, even now. "Truth was, I was just being a rambunctious kid. But it didn't matter. I don't think either one of them ever wanted children in the first place. But when you're Catholic, it's expected of you, so he went along with it mainly to fulfill his manly duties."

I swallowed hard, imagining what that must have been like. While my father had never necessarily been overly affectionate, at least my mother had been the nurturing kind and my dad had never laid a hand on me. I slowly stroked Brian's cheek with my fingers and stared into his pain-filled eyes, somehow trying to convey my support as he spoke up again.

"I wound up spending more time at my best friend's house than my own; his mother was more of a mother to me than my own mother would ever be."

I watched his face transform then into something tender and his voice soften as he told me, "Then a few years ago, one of my good friends from college asked me to father a child for her and her partner. In a cup," he added as if I needed the reassurance. I HAD been wondering about that. "When Gus was born, I swore that I would never, ever be a real father to him, or even bother to get to know him. I was planning on definitely being a means to an end and nothing else." He smiled then as he explained, "Then I took one look at him and hell, I was a goner. He was the most beautiful kid, and looked so much like me. When I held him, it was the most amazing feeling." He paused for a moment, as if he were reliving it again.

"He's the funniest kid. Always says exactly what he means, and he can talk me into anything. Until he came along, I never thought I would feel love like that for anyone." Brian's eyes turned to gaze out onto the water as if he were steadying himself before he turned his glance back to me and admitted, "I was afraid I would turn out to be a horrible father just like my old man did. But Gus proved me wrong."

I watched, entranced, at the change in his demeanor as he spoke like a proud father about his son. I had no doubt he, did, indeed love him. It was obvious. "You...You see him often?" I asked softly as he shook his head as my hands slid down come to rest on either side of his neck.

"No," he whispered. "I talk to him on the phone all the time - and fly up to see him whenever I can get away - but his moms moved to Canada about a year ago, just before I moved out here. So it's hard for me to see him as much as I like."

"But it doesn't affect how much you love him," I replied as he nodded.

"No," he told me simply. "Now I couldn't imagine life without him in it." He brought his hands up to my face to cradle it in his hands. "And...Despite how we said goodbye - and how short a time I've known you - the same goes for you."

My heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?" I whispered, my hands stilled around his neck as he stroked my face with his fingers. And those eyes...those incredible, depthless eyes...

"Justin, like I said. I don't really know HOW to do 'relationships.' I guess the way things were heading with us; well, it wasn't anything I knew how to deal with. I've...I've never had a relationship with another man; I mean, not to where I wanted to see them more than once. I never even thought I would want that. Until I met you."

I scrunched up my face in confusion. "But...but you said it was best that..."

"I know what I said," he interrupted me gently. "I said we had our own lives to live and we were heading down two different paths. That was bullshit," he said as my eyes widened in surprise. "The truth is...I was, okay, I was fucking scared of where it might lead. I didn't know how to handle it; handle you. You saw how I acted around you! I was damned irritating."

I had to smile at that. "Yes, you were," I readily agreed as he grinned slightly back at me. "I recall it quite vividly."

He nodded. "Yeah, well I remember a few other things vividly." I blushed in recollection, remembering the day we had made love on the beach that first time. Vivid didn't begin to cover it.

His face grew solemn as he told me, "I did have to get back to my world, back to reality. But I found that once I was there, I couldn't forget you. My assistant, Cynthia - she's been with me for years, and I know she knew that something was bothering me and that I was fucking up accounts left and right. But she never said anything. She knew I probably wouldn't discuss it, and she was right. I wouldn't have. But that still didn't mean that I didn't think about you every day since I left and wonder how you were." He quirked one side of his mouth up as he asked, "So how are you?"

I had to laugh softly at his question before I told him honestly, "I never stopped thinking about you, either. I wanted to call you so many times, Brian. But I promised you I wouldn't." I let out a shaky breath, my eyes watering. "I've been at school now for a couple of weeks, and it's great there. It's exactly what I expected - and more, even. But I've missed you so much." I smiled wistfully. "Every time I get into that damn car, I think of you." I paused for a moment, suddenly embarrassed and ashamed of my earlier insinuation. "You don't know what it means to have a way to..."

He placed his fingers over my lips and shook his head. "Forget it. I wanted to do it, and it was not that big a deal." My eyebrow arched in contradiction as he added, "I guess it might not have been easy explaining my gift to your father, though."

I snorted. "No, it wasn't. There was no way I could come right out and tell him that YOU had given it to me. He would have never let me accept it if he knew the truth."

"So what did you tell him?"

"I made up a story about it belonging to someone else, and that my friend Daphne had given them the money until I could pay her back. I never thought my Dad would buy that story, but thankfully he did."

Brian nodded as his fingers slowly explored my skin, making my pulse quicken. I supposed it would always be this way when I was around him.

"So where does this leave us, Brian?" I asked him at last. I had to know. I wasn't quite ready to admit that I had started falling in love with him, but I WAS starting to understand more about why he had left so abruptly that day. "Are you just going back to your office and never seeing me again?" Please, no...

Brian sighed heavily. "Have you not been listening to anything that I just said, Gidget?" I rolled my eyes at the impertinent term as he explained, "If you think I'm letting you out of my sight again, Mr. Taylor, you are sadly mistaken. I don't care HOW different our worlds are; something tells me that you and I will find a way to meld them together and MAKE them work. I don't see another alternative...Do you?"

I smirked. "Well, you could be a model for my still-life class so we could see MORE of each other." He snorted at the double entendre. "But other than that, it will be difficult to explain why you are constantly following me around at school." My face sobered as I told him honestly, "Brian, I've worked too hard to get into the Art Academy. It's been all I've dreamed of - well, almost all," I admitted as he smiled back at me in understanding. Ever since HE entered my life, my dreams had taken a decidedly more erotic turn. "I can't give that up, even to be with you." My eyes filled with trepidation; would that cause Brian to forget what he had just promised?

To my relief, he told me, "I would never ask that of you. That would be like you asking me to give up my advertising business, and I know you wouldn't do that." I shook my head to confirm it as he explained, "I mean that you will just have to spend more time with me at my loft...And at Kinnetik."

"Kinnetik?"

He nodded. "My business. It has this kick-ass view on the 4th floor of the ocean, Justin. And extra space that we lease but haven't found a use for yet. But something tells me now that maybe I have. It has wonderful lighting there from all the windows. Just perfect for a studio - for you."

My eyes lit up. I knew I could use the studio space at the Academy any time, but to be able to have my own place to work with an ocean view that I loved, plus possibly spend more time with Brian? It was a win-win situation to me.

"What do you say?" he pressed as he leaned in a little closer. "Shall we seal the deal and then work out the details later?"

I could see the hopefulness - plus just a little bit of uncertainty - on his face as a wide smile broke out on my own. I nodded as our lips came together for a kiss - one that went on and on and on and on...

He pushed me down gently upon the towel so I was lying on my back as he continued to kiss me, first on the lips and then all over my face, his hands reaching for my tee shirt to pull the hem up and slide them underneath. I could feel our mutual desire for each other burning anew between us as his hands glided up to rub against my nipples, and I couldn't help the gasp of pleasure that escaped my lips as his mouth nibbled the cord of my neck. "Brian..." I whispered as I trembled under his touch.

He lifted his head to gaze intently into my eyes, his body lying over mine. I felt suddenly shy as he waited silently for me to continue. "Brian...I want you," I whispered hoarsely. It had been way too long.

He nodded. "Me, too. Now," he commanded in a sexy, demanding tone of voice that made me want him even more. He rose to kneel as he quickly pulled off his shirt, his intention crystal clear as I reached to grab his waistband on his pants to stop him from going further. "No..."

He frowned as I explained shyly, "Not here. Too open." I knew that we were in a relatively secluded area, but I also knew it would be quite easy for anyone to find us here if they, too, were seeking to be alone. But I also knew that I was unwilling to wait much longer to be with him again. There had to be a solution.

"Justin..." I could hear the barely-controlled exasperation and lust in his voice, which made my face flush in anticipation. Brian was like some insatiable hunger in me; I suspected it would always be that way. He had been my first, and I somehow knew I would never be able to surpass the way that he makes me feel with anyone else. "Help me," I asked as he tugged on my wrist to pull me up.

Picking up the beach towel, I looked around as an inspiration came to me. "Over there," I told him as I pointed toward one of the caves nearby. It still wasn't quite low tide, but low enough that we could easily wade barefoot into the cave and hopefully find a dry spot further inside.

He nodded in understanding as we both took off our shoes and walked, hand-in-hand, toward the entrance to the cave.

We knew we couldn't walk too far into the cavernous structure or it would be too dark, but fortunately it was exactly as I had hoped: once we walked deeper into the cave, the ground became somewhat more elevated and drier. Finally, we found a smooth, sandy spot in a small sort of alcove, nice and dry.

As if he read my mind, he let go of my hand as we both proceeded to disrobe, the sun outside beginning to bathe the sky in shades of pink, gold, and purple as the sun slowly began its ascent toward the horizon.

Feeling inexplicably shy as Brian openly admired my body, I unfurled both beach towels and laid them down onto the sand before turning to notice Brian's eyes silently following my every move.

"You're so damn beautiful," he suddenly whispered with heartfelt emotion. I could feel my face warming over his unexpected compliment as he held his hand out to me. As I took it, he pulled us together for another kiss while he lowered me to the ground. We kissed passionately for several seconds, seemingly trying to make up for the time we had lost, before, bracing himself on his elbows, he pulled back to gaze down upon my face, his own openly displaying his emotions. Smiling at me tenderly, I couldn't help returning the gesture as the palm of my left hand slid across the taut smoothness of his tanned chest, rubbing gently over one dusky-colored nub as I heard his sharp intake of breath. It still amazed me that I held this type of power over someone such as him as I trailed the tips of my fingers lower, then toward his belly and the patch of dark-colored pubes above his cock, lying hard and heavy against my body. I could feel the wetness there, signifying his desire for me that precisely matched my own, and I knew I couldn't wait. A dismaying thought occurred to me then, however. If Brian hadn't been expecting to run into me...

"Brian?" I whispered as he peered into my eyes. He lifted his eyebrows in question. "Do you have...?"

He seemed to instantly know what I needed as he nodded. "You bet I do," he assured me as my heart pounded. I watched him reach over to pull his pants closer and locate the condoms and small container of lube in his pocket. Dropping the pants back down and placing the condom next to me, he flipped the top open to the lube and squirted some onto his fingers. As if with an unspoken command, I placed my legs around his waist and linked them firmly together as he gave me a quick peck of reassurance on the lips before I felt the coldness of the gel around my hole. I hissed as one finger pressed inside, and then another, opening me up for what I was so desperately needing to feel. "Brian," I breathed out impatiently as he seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of time to prepare me. Right then, I just needed HIM; I didn't care if it burned more than normal. "I need you inside me, Brian," I told him, not sorry if it sounded slightly like I was begging. Actually, I was.

He nodded. "Put it on me," he told me as I reached to grab the flat packet, tearing it open with trembling fingers. I licked my lips in concentration as I pulled out the latex and slid it down his shaft, hearing his breath hitch as my fingers encountered the hard, hot, smooth flesh. Accomplishing my goal a few seconds later, I gripped his arms as he lined himself up and pressed in slightly.

I groaned as I felt the first, preliminary contact with his cock in my body. It had been too long; way too long, but it felt just as wondrous as it had the first time, even more so. His eyes locked on mine, he grasped my thighs as he pushed down against me and I met him halfway, silently coaxing his cock in even further. I felt the initial discomfort, the sting that I had felt the first time and every time after that, but I didn't care, because I knew what lay beyond that: almost indescribable, unstoppable, pure pleasure.

"More," I demanded, barely able to get the word out; I was too caught up in my emotions to almost be able to even speak. But he must have heard me as I felt him thrusting in deeper as my body arched up to meet his. I grunted in disappointment as I felt his slick cock withdraw slightly, only for Brian to thrust back in harder and longer with one, smooth stroke, hitting my sweet spot as I gasped at the sensation.

I must have squeezed my eyes shut, too overcome with emotion, because I heard Brian's quiet, throaty voice demanding, "Look at me, Justin." I opened my eyes to see his perspiration-driven brow, his eyes staring down into mine, and his face etched in determined concentration as he began to piston in and out of me in a regular, sensual rhythm, his fingers gripping my thighs tightly, no doubt leaving impressions. At that moment, though, I wanted him to mark me, to brand me, to make him his. I wanted to be everything to him and to FEEL everything. My heart wanted to sing out that I loved him - for I now knew it was true - but I was still a little too afraid to admit it aloud for fear it would frighten him with the intensity of my feelings, so I bit down on my lip instead as he began to rock back and forth with me as he swooped down to kiss me senseless and we continued to make love, slowly and steadily.

Several minutes later, we lay side by side, my body half-draped over his with my head lying on his chest, much like that last time we had had together at the resort. I could feel his heart beating rapidly against my cheek as we both tried to regain a normal breathing pattern. My arm was draped around his waist as he lightly played with my hair at the back of my neck, his own chin planted on top of my head. He cradled me firmly to him, his body warm and so familiar, even after our time apart. At that moment, I felt so secure and cherished and yes, even loved, even though I knew he would not say it, at least not yet. Perhaps from what little he had told me he might NEVER say it, at least aloud. But I still knew; somehow I knew his feelings reciprocated mine, and for now that was enough for me.

Much too soon, we knew we couldn't stay here; the sun was rapidly setting below the horizon and it was getting quite dark where we were in the cave. So with great reluctance on both our parts, we stood up and got dressed to exit our temporary love nest.

Several minutes later, we found ourselves back at Brian's bike, both of us taking a moment to gaze out onto the placid water below. There was no one there now; just the two of us. But it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because as I looked into his eyes, he was the only one I could see.

"Ready to go?" he asked me softly as I nodded.

I was assuming he was taking me straight back to my dorm room, but he surprised me.

"I'd like you to come back with me to my loft," he told me almost shyly as if he were afraid I would refuse. "Would you like to see it?"

I smiled as he smiled back at me. "Yes," I reassured him, my heart singing now and feeling decidedly lighter. "And my new studio, too," I added solemnly as he chuckled.

"As you wish, Gidget," he told me as we hopped onto his bike. My arms securely around his waist a few seconds later, we sped off toward the beginning of our new lives.