Hi, guys! How stoked are you that I'm back so early? I've hacked into the internet at work and I'm posting this while I have the chance between cut-ins.

I know a lot of my reviewers wondered how this was going to happen, with Edward being so cold towards Bella at the beginning of the story, but I hopefully have dropped hints that you'll see that Bella did once have a crush on Edward, but she feels that she grew out of the crush, since it was a typical young girl crush on older boy.

Now, we get to delve into Edward's mind slightly, that is, after the wedding of course. I wanted my readers to understand where Edward is coming from and you'll be learning some very closely guarded secrets, some that even Jasper doesn't know.

ENJOY!

"Alice," I looked my sister-in-law in her violet eyes. "I'm nervous."

"Well, duh, I had a man that loved me waiting for me down at the other end and I was still nervous as hell, you seem to detest Edward, I'd say you are more than allowed to be nervous," Alice laughed lightly.

We'd drove the hour to Port Angeles to the county courthouse to get married, that way nobody from Forks would know, another stipulation of the schools, that we were allowed to be married and cohabitate as long as we didn't flaunt it, not a problem on my part, and that we didn't have the small ceremony in Forks. Again, they wouldn't have to worry about that, since I refused to acknowledge him as my husband, ever.

"Slut, you ready?" Rosalie asked and I blushed slightly. "That's what I was hoping for, you should be the blushing bride, you might be forced into this, but you have to play the part today."

"I hate you skank," I hissed as I tried to calm myself down.

"Even the baby knows this is a good thing," Angela said.

Angela was right, the baby was kicking and kicking hard, I knew it was because my heart was fluttering, she always moved more if my heart rate was high. I closed my eyes and took a few deep soothing breaths, like the doctor had ordered me to do when I feared my blood pressure might be going up.

"Shut it, all of you," I muttered. "I don't want to be here, Alice is this water-proof mascara?"

"Do you really think I'm that crazy?"

"Sometimes," I laughed, blinking away the few tears.

"Tears look good," Angela said.

"People take them as a sign of happiness," Rosalie finished. "And it's your fucking wedding day and you should be 'happy'" she air quoted.

"You're just jealous that I'm getting to the alter before you," I tried to laugh.

Really, though, laughing wasn't happening, I was standing here, in a white dress that Alice had found here in town a few days ago, clutching a bouquet of white lilies, humming to myself and my friends attempting to calm me down for the safety of my baby and myself, while waiting for the man I'm supposed to love to marry him and start a family with our child.

"And sleep with one man for the rest of my life, no thank you," Rosalie laughed. "Plus when, strike that, if I get married, I want the whole shebang, white dress, outdoors at the park in Phoenix, the cake."

"We're going to Bella Italia after this, does that count as cake?" I asked.

"Maybe," Rosalie grin, then her focus was lost on me as I heard the boys coming up the stairs.

Emmett with his loud booming voice, Charlie's monotone chuckles, Jasper's laid back style of wording and finally Edward's velvet and rich sounds.

The four of them sounded like they were giving Edward crap about today and my mind again wondered if he didn't believe in love, yet was vowing to love me until death do us part or as long as you both shall live, as we'd changed the wording to those simple words.

"Kill me," I muttered to Angela, who made a gun with her fingers and pointed them to my head, making a clicking sound.

"Nope, sorry, all outta bullets today," Angela said, actually getting me to smile.

"Walk me in there, girls," I whispered to my closet friends. I knew if I had their backing, I could do this, I could overcome the fear that I was feeling at that moment.

"Question," Rosalie said. "Who's the buff hot guy?"

Yea, leave it to my best friend to make me smile, I wrapped my arm around her waist as Alice answered.

"My big bro and new head coach to Forks High Vikings, Emmett McCarthy."

"I thought your maiden name is Brandon," Angela said.

"Half on mom's side, different dads," Alice shrugged it off like it was nothing.

"He's hot, I don't care if he is the coach at the high school, I totally want to do him," Rosalie said. "I love weddings."

"You hooked up with Tony DiNozzo at my wedding," Alice said. "You seem to always hook up with rando's a various weddigns, you little slut."

"Excuse me, I'm a skank, and let's just say I even go to weddings I'm not invited to for hook ups," Rosalie smiled and I shook my head as the judge walked in. I stepped on her foot.

"Hello," the judge said. "I am officiating the ceremony today, I'm Judge Hadly."

I smiled, almost afraid to open my mouth in fear of vomiting. Edward came and stood in front of me, his smile, his crooked smile that was reserved for the girls in his life, namely me since I was, besides Alice, the main constant in his life.

The smile, the one that I got so often, when I'd done well on a test and told him over video chat, to doing well with a solo in orchestra, to picking out good music, it was now reserved for me and in this instant, I knew he was proud of me for not putting up a huge fight, for not stressing out over this, for trying my hardest to roll with the punches.

His eyes were a brilliant emerald green today, clear and… dancing with happiness? That couldn't be right, he shouldn't be any more happy over this than I was, yet they seemed to hold just a hit of wonder and happiness, than I realized that it might be because I was carrying his child, the fruit of his loin so to speak.

I listened to the judge as he recited our vows, I continued to watch Edward eyes as we said our 'I do's' and even though I had no love for this man in the way a wife should love her husband, I still had feelings for him, I admired him for sticking with his guns and going with his dream over his father's dream, I was happy that he'd been my friend for so long.

A sea of emotions were washing over me, I felt Alice rubbing my back softly as I tried blinking back tears. I was nervous because I was moving into a house with a man that I was married to, I was excited for the arrival of our baby girl, I was scared that she'd have something wrong, I just had so many emotions, and the only one that should really be present on a wedding day, wasn't there.

I didn't love Edward Cullen in the way that a women should love her husband.

We got to the rings and Alice handed me the ring she'd picked up for Edward, using my little savings for college, then Edward took his out and opened his mouth.

"Bells, this ring isn't a traditional wedding band, I thought long and hard over what band to get you, but none seemed perfect for you, for my best friend, the mother of my child, the women I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I realized I had the perfect band, so I called my mother and asked for my great grandmother's engagement ring and I knew it was the perfect ring for you to symbolize our marriage, it's unique, just like us, like our marriage."

Edward slipped on the oval ring with tiny diamonds in it onto my left ring finger and kissed it lightly.

If the judge wondered about the unique part, he didn't hint that he was curious, he simply informed Edward that he could kiss the bride. Edward gentle cupped my face with his hands and leaned in and gave me a small kiss, I could tell that he knew I was fearing this part the worst, since we'd never kissed, expect for that one time and then I barely remembered it because other things.

"Loosen up," Rosalie muttered and that was all I needed to make the kiss a two way kiss.

I slid my arms around Edward neck and kissed him with a little passion, in an attempt to show the judge we loved each other, yet, I'd never heard that declaration out of Edwards's mouth in the nice speech he'd given about the ring, of course, I wondered, just like Rosalie if Edward even truly believed in love.

After the ceremony, we went to a little Italian place in downtown Port Angeles were we celebrated good family and friends, the chatter was insane and I was sure that the wait staff was happy to see us leave. As we were leaving, Edward was handed a napkin from our waitress and I swear I felt a ting of jelousy but relaxed because as soon as we were out of the building, the napkin went in the trash.

We all said our goodbyes, I received a hug from everybody while Edward received handshakes from the guys and hugs from the girls.

Then we all headed to our cars, I'd rode with Alice, Angela and Rosalie in Rosalie's BMW, but going home I'd ride with my husband.

Edward was a gentleman and opened the door for me, helping me navigate my way in with my protruding belly.

He got in and we drove slowly through town, I watched the water pass by and was surprised when Edward pulled into a parking lot, near the water front walk.

"Walk with me?" Edward ask shyly.

I nodded and Edward was to my side of the car before I could get the door open, he again helped me, this time we navigated my belly out of the car.

Instead of releasing my hand, he held it as we walked by the water, the sounds creating peaceful environment. I could smell the water in the air and it relaxed me, even the baby, who'd been kicking was suddenly very calm, just slight movements, happy, calm movements, like she knew her mommy and daddy were together.

We walked in silence for a while, simply enjoying the sounds, smells and sights on the water front walk. We'd probably walked for half an hour when we came upon a bench and I knew I was getting tired, without asking, Edward lead me there and set down with me.

"It's beautiful, here," I sighed.

"Very, are you happy?"

"I should be, I'm a wife, now."

"I know I shouldn't have forced you into this, but I just felt this would be the best way, I already love this baby, more than you could know. I'm glad your father agreed that we should be married before she arrives."

"I was scared," I admitted, "when I found out that I had a baby growing inside me. I knew it was yours, I hadn't been with anybody else, not sexually anyways. That night, it was a frenzy, so many emotions running every which way. I couldn't remember if we'd used protection or not. At three months, I knew I couldn't hide it from my father any longer, I told him, I just blatantly put it out there. 'Dad, I'm pregnant, I don't know who the father is,' I told him. He called my mother in a rage and demanded a list of each boy she'd known I was with. I'm sure it was a shock to him to learn that it was his son's best friend and not some random guy I'd known in Phoenix."

"That was the hardest conversation I ever had to hold with your father. Charlie and I have always had a laid back attitude towards each other, but you really threw us both for a loop. I was point blank about it, I simply said 'Charlie, shoot me if you must, because I'm pretty sure I'm the baby's father.' Yea, he looked at his gun and then back at me, it went down just like you thought, he wanted to slap cuffs on me but I said I'd do anything, just don't cut me out of my child's life. Charlie knew why I said that. I found out when I was younger that I had a low sperm count, that reproducing for me would be hard. I can't even remember now what they were testing me for, but you know my father, he's a doctor and fears the worst for his only son."

"Then this little girl is truly a mirical," I whispered, Edward laid his arm around my shoulders and I scooted closer. "When I was younger, and scared, you'd always hold me like this," I said as I laid my head on his shoulder. "That's why my first crush was you. When I was fourteen. I overcame it, though, you were to old for me, you had your pick of women, I was the best friends little sister. Why choose me? To me, you were the hottest thing on two legs, and you took the time to talk with me, to play with me when I was younger, to help me when I got hurt. There isn't a memory of mine that doesn't somehow include you. Hell, you even held me when I was hours old."

"Now, that is a tad bit creepy," Edward laughed. "I remember that day, looking down at this little baby in my arms, mom and dad always said they wanted another child, but I was already too old to have any fun with a new baby, but holding you, that was the happiest day of my life. I wanted to hold your warm tiny body for hours, to hum you to sleep when I could. Your eyes were blue and you looked like you were trying to figure out each little detail about the room, about me. I asked why your eyes were blue, dad promised me that they would change, but I'd already fallen for those blue eyes. Even after your eyes had changed, I called you Blue for the longest time, I'm sure you don't remember that because I stopped just shy of your third birthday, when I started calling you Bells or Bella."

"I have a baby book and it list my nicknames, I've seen Blue in there a time or two, not only there, but also in cards, that were hand made, never signed though," I laughed.

It was nice, just talking with Edward, having this nice trip down memory lane.

"I didn't want you to think I was crazy when you were older and saw all those cards I made for you. I made you tons, Esme always helped. She always wanted her own child, but she was stuck with me," he said sadly.

"She's your mother though," I said.

"She's my mom, not my mother. Not biologically, anyways. I meet Jasper six months after Carlisle and Esme were married, my bio mother ran away from my father and I when I was just ten weeks old. Esme was a good friend of my fathers from high school, they had stayed close all those years and he called her the first time I cried and he couldn't shut me up," Edward laughed. I'd never known this, and to my knowledge, neither did Jasper. "Esme came running and calmed me down, my father asked her to stay and help raise me, she agreed to be my nanny and when I was eighteen months they were married. Esme always wanted another child, but it wasn't in the cards. She'd miscarried once before with her first husband and she'd been on a cliff the night dad had called her, she'd been about to kill herself because of the grief, but instead of diving, she ran to my father."

"Wow, I never knew that," I muttered.

"Nobody but Esme, Carlisle and I do. Esme legally adopted me for my third birthday, I haven't spoken to my real mother since I was ten. She breezed in for a visit to see if I was more disciplined and left disappointed after I threw my rice at her, Carlisle asked me to so that she would leave, Melinda wasn't my mother, Esme was. Last I heard Mel had three kids and a new husband, a new life."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, it felt like the right thing to say. "You've always been so amazing, how could she not see that? She was stupid for leaving but her loss was Esme's gain."

"Very true, Bells, very true," Edward whispered into my hair, planting a soft kiss in my crown.

"Call me Blue," I whispered, watching the sunset on a great day.

"I'm happy that we are married Blue, that we're going to have the perfect little girl together."

What had started out as a cold and rainy morning had turned into a great day, one that I wouldn't forget any time soon, I thought as the sun sank lower and lower below the horizon.

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