A/N: This is the last chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it and take the time to let me know what you thought about it one last time. As always, a great note of thanks to my loyal reviewers, readers and followers. You are the best!
Disclaimer: After thirteen chapters I still don't own a thing.
Chapter thirteen
Hey! Don't listen to a word I say
Hey! The screams all sound the same.
Hey! Though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
The stars were twinkling brightly in the sky, despite the fact more than a few of them were hidden by the light of the full moon. The smell of mint was carried around on the breeze, as well as the smell of a few other herbs. The birds and other animals were fast asleep, though, making it a very silent night as well.
Merlin couldn't believe he was doing this. He was actually lying on a blanket in his back garden with his lover tucked beside him, staring at the stars. It was such a cliché that he hadn't thought people ever really did that. He'd believed it was something that only happened in sappy films or romance novels.
But Arthur had suggested they do this, and Merlin had agreed when he'd been stared at with puppy dog eyes. And of course because he would never say no to doing something with Arthur. Add to that the fact this was something most people never got to do, and you had the complete reason for his being there.
There was one thing that was gnawing at him and that was making him shift uneasily occasionally, though. If he wanted to enjoy the experience completely and keep from ruining it for Arthur, he would have to deal with that first.
"Are you sure your parents weren't upset when you told them we couldn't come? They were so thrilled at the prospect of seeing us again. Don't get me wrong, I love being here with you, I just think it's a little sad for them," Merlin said, turning onto his side to look at his boyfriend.
Arthur was lying on his back, his head pillowed on his arms. His lips were moving soundlessly as he tried to count the stars, much like a child that was surprised to see them for the first time. He looked so at peace with the world like that that Merlin felt slightly guilty for bringing this up.
But Arthur didn't move a muscle upon hearing those words, a clear indication he wasn't fazed by them at all. Merlin was grateful for it, feeling the nerves that had plagued him for a while begin to dissipate. He really should have known that talking to Arthur was as easy as breathing by now.
"They understood when I told them I wanted to surprise you. Mum and dad are two very romantic people. They've been married for almost thirty years and they still go on getaways or dine out every once in a while. I even think they liked my idea better than theirs because of that. Besides, mum will call you or me to reschedule tomorrow. So stop beating yourself up about it," Arthur gently chided him.
Merlin scooted closer to Arthur, lying as close to the blond as he could without actually touching the other man. It was one if the things he enjoyed doing the most, number one on the list obviously being wrapping his arms around his lover. Arthur had told him it was cute, which had made him blush.
"Speaking of that, why is it that you wanted to spend the night out here beneath the stars? You promised you would tell me, but I'm still waiting. And you know how impatient I can get," Merlin teased, very aware Arthur by now knew how relentlessly he had teased Merlin about that the first time they were together.
Arthur now turned on his side as well, catching Merlin's eye. Merlin stayed still, not wanting to push Arthur into talking before the man was ready. He did, however, pay attention to every small move Arthur made: the way the fingers flexed on the hand the blond settled his head on, the way he bent one of his legs to get more comfortable. There was no sign of fear or uncertainty, so Merlin calmed down a little.
"I wanted to have you hear because I wanted to talk about why I came back now. You told me Kilghara had told you I would rise again when my people needed me. But I don't exactly have any people; I'm not a part of the royal family, and even if I was I wouldn't have had the same freedom I did when Camelot still stood strong. There's famine and war in this world, but nothing worse than before. So I wanted to ask you why you think I came back already. I think I know, but I want to hear what you have to say about it before I tell you," Arthur said.
Merlin thought about that. Arthur was right, there had been countless wars before the ones the world was facing now, and Great Britain had been involved in quite a few, both domestic and otherwise. The country wasn't suffering from a plague, the people were well fed. And Kilghara had spoken of Arthur's people, which were those who lived in Albion, the Albion Arthur had united.
"I've thought about it as well, but I haven't been able to come up with a satisfying answer to that question. Part of the reason is that I've seen so many conflicts I thought might be the reason for you to rise and you didn't until now, which makes absolutely no sense. The other part of it is that I don't know what Kilghara meant exactly. He might have meant you would a pillar of support for the people, someone to help them keep their heads up in difficult times. He might also have meant that you would return as someone with a lot of power as well. But you're no politician or king this time," Merlin slowly said.
Truth be told, he'd given up on trying to find the reason for Arthur's return months ago. It had been the only thing beside the man himself he could think of, to such an extent that it had become noticeable at work. He'd had no other choice.
"Yeah, that's sort of what made me think about it. Especially since I want to know. Especially if I have to make some kind of difference to the lives of so many people. I started rereading all of the versions of the legend I could find, trying to see if any of them had written down one or more possible reasons. But I came up empty. At least for the biggest part," Arthur said.
Those last words had Merlin sit straight up. He more than anyone had been obsessed by the legend Arthur had inspired, he had read so many of them he wasn't sure there were any he hadn't read. But to him, there had been nothing in there to indicate when or why Arthur would return exactly.
Merlin was intrigued, so he waited for Arthur to continue without speaking. If the blond had made some kind of connection Merlin hadn't, he would very much like to know. It might lead them to having an answer to one of the most important questions they'd had since they'd been together.
"At first I started dreaming about my own death, something I hadn't experienced before. That's why I spent so few nights here; it wasn't pretty and I didn't want to worry you. But gradually, the dreams changed. I started seeing mountains that hadn't featured in any of my dreams. I began to see faces of people that hadn't been in my dreams before," Arthur started the story.
Merlin could feel the tingle of his magic, which was always bubbling right beneath the surface. It was telling him to pay attention, in a way that was impossible for Merlin to ignore. It had been a very long time since his magic had behaved like this, which served as an anything but small warning for him.
"It became clear to me after a while that I was dreaming of my last few weeks in Avalon. at one point the people said I was not dead but asleep as I waited to be needed again. It seems they were right. I slept for a long time, but I eventually woke up. I met a woman named Freya, the Lady of the Lake. She said she was a friend of yours. She warned me there were limits to your magic and my strength and said that it would take time for you to find me. I took one look at her before saying I needed to go back to the world. She asked me why," Arthur said.
The blond now sat up a well, reaching out to take Merlin's hands in his. Merlin linked their fingers together, squeezing a little harder than was strictly necessary. Avalon was the one place Arthur could have gained knowledge Merlin didn't have; he had never been there and he was certain he would never set foot on the Isle either.
"The look on her face told me she was sure I didn't have an answer, but she quickly learnt she was mistaken. I did know why I needed to go back, and I didn't hesitate to tell her that. I wasn't very polite to her, I have to admit. She annoyed me," Arthur admitted, his cheeks reddening.
Merlin couldn't help but smile at that. He'd known Freya at Camelot, he'd given her the best burial he could after she'd died. He could easily understand why she would have annoyed Arthur; she was quite mysterious and spoke in riddles. She also kept everything about her to herself, which had led to her death in the end. She'd hidden the fact she would transform into a bloodthirsty creature at night, and that had prevented Merlin from helping or protecting her. Thus, the nights had succeeded in injuring her badly enough to cause her to die.
"What did you tell her? And how did she react? Was she willing to let you go immediately or did you have to do or promise something? Okay, way too many questions," Merlin groaned when he realised how many of them he'd spewed. Just like with Arthur, some things about him hadn't changed in over a thousand years.
Arthur didn't seem to care too much, though, so he pushed those feeling to the back of his mind. The blond was probably used to it by now, and there were more important things than being too inquisitive. Besides, Arthur would have told him those things anyway. They mattered too much not to.
"I told Freya I needed to return because of you. I felt like you were at a crossroads, life wasn't being all too kind to you and you missed me more than ever before. I couldn't explain how I knew, but she never asked. She simply looked at me and said that true love sometimes made things happen that else would've been impossible. The last thing I remember is sinking down onto the ground as everything around me grows dark," Arthur finished his story.
Merlin's mouth was dry and he found it difficult to breathe. Arthur couldn't possibly be saying what he thought the blond was saying. Or could he? That would be as far removed from the legend as to be hilarious. On the other hand, there were other things the legend had gotten wrong or hadn't made any mention of, so it might not be as strange as it sounded. And there could be some truth to all of it.
"I lost my best friend right before you were reborn. His name was Jacob Boyd. He reminded me so much of Gwaine that I couldn't help but let him into my heart. He was thirty when he died, totally unexpectedly. He was shot by a man trying to break into his house. Jacob caught the man red-handed. I hadn't lost anyone since the last of our friends died. I didn't know what to do with myself. I started to think it might not be worth it to let anyone in anymore. I can't believe you felt that. And I can believe you came back for me instead of for your people even less than that," Merlin whispered, looking at his knees.
Arthur squeezed Merlin's hands, and Merlin looked up again, obeying Arthur's silent request. The blond man's blue eyes held such love, trust and devotion that Merlin's heart began to thump a little faster. He knew those emotions were mirrored in his own blue eyes, mixed with a small amount of disbelieve because of what he'd just heard.
"I hate that so many bad things happened to you while I was gone. I know I'll never be able to make up for it, but I promise I'll try. Yes, I came back because of you. You were the only one that mattered. I hate to see anyone suffer, but it's even worse when it's you. I feel so protective of you that I sometimes have to remind myself you're not a fragile porcelain doll," Arthur admitted, smiling at his own confession.
Merlin was well aware of that, but he'd never complained about it too much. He'd actually expected things to be like that as soon as he'd realised Arthur hadn't really changed one bit. And he was used to people thinking he was less strong (both physically and mentally) than he actually was, so he'd learnt to deal with it over the years.
"Bad things happen to everyone, Arthur. That's the way it is. We all lose loved ones and we all get lied to during our life. It's just that I've had a lot more lifetimes and that culminates in more bad things happening. But that goes for the good things too, don't forget that. I've seen more births and weddings and people falling in love than others, I've seen the world deal with more wars and conflicts than others. I've even met the love of my life twice. That counts for something too," Merlin said, meaning every word.
"I guess it does. But still, I don't think it's fair you've had to carry the burden of all that knowledge for so long and you didn't have any help in getting me to accept it. I was about ready to walk out of your house because I thought you were crazy when you used that spell on me. Can you imagine me walking out? You'd have disappeared and we'd have never met again. We would never have been together again. You deserved someone to stand by you just like you stood by me," Arthur pointed out.
Merlin just shrugged; it was no use crying over spilt milk. What had happened couldn't be changed, not even with all the powers that he had. He'd hoped someone would turn up who could help him through the most difficult times for sure, but he'd eventually accepted that wouldn't happen.
The silence lingered on. Unlike most of the time when that happened, Merlin's thoughts didn't begin to race. He was remarkably calm, his fears having been put to rest. The only think he thought about, was how grateful he was that they'd managed to come this far. There's been ups and downs, fights and difficult conversations mixed with romance and laughter. They were stronger now than ever before, and Merlin didn't mind the struggles one bit. They were more than worth it.
"You know, that leads to a whole other box of questions. Will I still have to be there for the people when they are in dire need? Will I die and come back yet again or will I live a life like yours? Has my destiny changed because I asked to come back before it was truly my time? I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know. If the answer can even be found," Arthur said.
Again, Arthur had a point. Those questions were very closely related to the reason for Arthur's being here. It was logical that Arthur wanted the answers, but it was a very good thing that he was already convinced they answers would be hard or even impossible to find. After all, Merlin knew from experience that life rarely handed you the answers to the most important questions.
"I'm not sure you can even do that, change your destiny. Kilghara used to say we can't, and that we can't run from them either. It's more likely you are here at the right time, even if it doesn't look like it. Maybe whatever it is the people of Albion need you for is about to happen and that's why you've finally managed to access all of your memories," Merlin suggested.
Arthur cocked his head, obviously thinking about that. Eventually he nodded in agreement, moving towards Merlin. Merlin opened his arms, tucking Arthur beneath his chin. The slight height advantage that he had came in handy at times like these.
"I just hope I'll be able to fulfill my destiny and be of as much help as your Great Dragon seemed to think I would be. Especially since you lived up to the expectations. No, scratch that, you surpassed them. I'd really hate to disappoint you," Arthur teased, breaking the seriousness of the moment.
Merlin rested his chin on Arthur's shoulder, tightening his grip on the man as he laughed out loud. Despite the fact their life would probably never be as easy as another couple's life, they were happy. And that was all that really counted. Whatever hurdles came along, they'd jump them. Together, as it should be.
Gently, he slid from behind Arthur. As soon as he was free, he guided them both down onto the blanket again. He rolled himself on top of Arthur, earning himself an enormous smile. Arthur loved it when he did that, and Merlin knew it well. And if Merlin were honest, he'd have to admit he'd abused that knowledge quite a few times already. Only for the good of them, but still.
"I love you. Always have and always will," he whispered against Arthur's lips before claiming them in a gentle kiss.
He enjoyed the bruising, frenzied kisses they would bestow upon one another sometimes just as much, but he knew they both needed kindness and reassurance. And these kisses would give them that.
"I love you too. And I'll never stop loving you either," Arthur promised as soon as they broke apart.
After that, they both fell silent. Arthur tightened his arms around Merlin, but there really was no reason to. Merlin wasn't planning on moving anywhere until the morning came and they had to start their day.
Because right there was the best place to be, in Arthur's arms, safe from whatever evils lurked in the world. Even if they would undoubtedly find out they were to face one of those evils. But until that moment, he would not think of anything dark. His only thoughts would be about Arthur and their love. Because that was the way it was supposed to be.